5-Minute Time Out: Mama Rock
Chris Rock's mom on raising your kids right.
by Jennifer V. Hughes
August 29, 2008
Do you think kids are better behaved now or worse?
They are so much worse than they were years and years ago. Each generation has gotten a little more liberal with their children and we are seeing the results. All you have to do is walk outside and listen to conversations between teens or seeing kids yell at their parents or even four- or five-year-olds talking back to their parents, saying "No! Shut up!" That would not have happened in the old days.
I'm overwhelmed by the fact that you took care of so many children throughout your life. At one point in your book you talk about how important it was to spend private time with each one. How did you have the emotional energy for that?
Children are the gift I was given. Everyone is given work to do here. God didn't just put us here to be here. My work happens to be children, it's just a part of me. I always tell people it doesn't make me a better person, it's just my gift.
Is there anything you wish you had done differently in raising your kids?
I've been asked that so many times, but I really can't think of anything. Yesterday I got to spend some quality time talking to Chris and my son Brian is coming up this weekend. When we are talking I am always amazed at how they turned out to be such wonderful children.
"A spanking is over in two minutes, but if you say something, it never goes away."
Of course, there are always little things. I remember the time when Chris' bus was coming and Andre was a baby. Instead of putting Andre into the crib and walking Chris out to the bus, I said "Run! Run!" and he just dashed out and as he was going out the door he fell and scraped his face on the sidewalk. I didn't know about it until he came home from school. I always said that was my fault and I still feel bad about it.
In your chapter Pull Out That Can of Whup-Ass, you talk about consequences for bad behavior. (One line is: "Let me be clear: my whup-ass expands far beyond just a physical punishment. It's about whatever I can do to change a negative behavior.") But did you ever use corporal punishment on your kids?
Yes, I did spank my children. I would much rather spank a child and sit them down for two or three minutes than get angry and scream stuff that doesn't go away. I've heard parents scream "I wish you were never born!" I would much rather pick up a child and smack them on the behind. A spanking is over in two or three minutes, but if you say something, it never goes away.
That's not a very popular opinion right now.
I really don't care. I don't want to be popular — I want to do what's right.
Is there something Chris did as a kid that still makes you shake your head?
Once at Christmastime Chris goes downstairs and opens a gift. (It was the first time they had those little hand-held games.) And he takes it into his bed and he's playing with it. We could hear this thing going bleep-bleep and we're wondering what is going on. We woke up and followed the sound. He had sealed the gift back up and put it back under the tree, but he was up in his room playing with the game.
Did he get in trouble?
[Laughs.] He got in trouble, but not major trouble.
©2008 Jennifer V. Hughes and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Jennifer V. Hughes is a writer whose work has appeared in The New York Times, Mothering magazine and the Columbia Law School Report. She also makes a killer sangria. |
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