Rhett Miller
On his anti-guitar son, cool in-laws and, uh, laid-back parenting.
by Ada Calhoun
January 24, 2007
It's fun to take people to see Rhett Miller in concert for the first time. When a friend took me years ago, in Austin, Texas, to see him play with his terrific band the Old 97's, she cut her eyes to watch as my jaw dropped. I'd had no idea the blurry image on the CD cases looked like that in person. By the end of the show, full of clever, flirty songs about hard drinking and easy women ("So I sidled up beside her / settled down and shouted, 'Hi there / my name's Stuart Ransom Miller / I'm a serial lady-killer' / She said, 'I'm already dead' / That's exactly what she said"), I was a convert. Since then, I've paid it forward. "He's not human," said my date to a Bowery Ballroom show Miller played solo four years ago. "He's from . . . planet Jupi-sexy."
Onstage at that show, Miller said he and his wife, Erica, a model, were expecting a baby (Max, now three). "I'm starting to think having babies is what we're meant to do," he said. Since then, he and Erica have had a second child, Soleil (now nine months); they live in upstate New York, near Erica's family. Marriage, fatherhood and proximity to his in-laws have in no way turned Miller into the bitter dad stereotype sitcoms trade in. He's recorded two lovely solo albums: The Instigator and The Believer, has a full tour schedule, and can't get enough of his kids (not that he minds a weekend alone with his wife). — Ada Calhoun
My baby loves The Believer. I can't get over how love songs that would at one time have been about someone I had a crush on are now totally about the baby.
It's true! Max's in-the-womb song was "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You," which Elvis had a hit with. I sang it to him in the womb. The second verse is "Shall I stay? / Would it be a sin?" It's borderline lascivious — talking about sinning — but it's so sweet. Because you just love the kid so much, right?
How'd you pick your kids' names?
Both of our names kind of surprised us and just came out of nowhere — as if the kids were destined, or doomed.
How is it living in the Catskills?
It's been great. If I didn't have kids, I'd go crazy, because we're in the middle of nowhere — three acres of country. But I see it through their eyes, and it's the perfect place to grow up. It's a square of land, like a postage stamp. There are trees on the perimeter and we've planted more. I don't let Max go too deep into the brush, because of all the rocks, but when he's climbing around he always turns around and says, "Daddy, I'm being careful." I'm already thinking about tree houses.
He sounds like a good kid. What about your daughter?
Both our kids have very strong personalities, and developed them very early. Max is outspoken and opinionated. He's a Scorpio, which apparently explains that. Soleil has already revealed herself to be so patient with her older brother's demands and everything else. She self-pacifies — sucks her thumb — which her brother did not do. He was a dee-tee kid.
What's that?
He used a pacifier. I have no idea where that name comes from. Maybe my mom was saying "binky" and he translated it to that?
Does he like it when you play guitar around the house?
He used to wave "bye-bye" to it when it got on his nerves. Sometimes he'll say, "Daddy, you're being too loud." But I understand Max's feelings about the guitar. Writing songs isn't the most fun thing to listen to. You're playing the same chord progression over and over and saying the same dumb words that you hope become less dumb as you go on. He's cooler with it now. Before, he'd gotten to the point where he was hitting it. He's very much a boy in that way: he likes hitting things. That's only really a problem with the baby. But with her he's become very sweet. He gives her lots of kisses.
©2007 Ada Calhoun and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Ada Calhoun was Babble's founding editor-in-chief. She has been a theater critic at New York magazine, an AOL News blogger and a frequent contributor to the New York Times Book Review. She has written for Time, Salon.com and The New York Times Arts & Leisure. Her first book, Instinctive Parenting, will be published by Simon Spotlight in 2010. Visit adacalhoun.com. |
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