It's tempting to dismiss the suffering of children who are pretty wealthy compared to those whose parents were barely surviving on minimum wage and then get laid off. But when wealthy children, even middle class children, have been shielded their whole lives from trauma and sacrifice, as much of this generation has, the recession can cause serious angst.
"Parental fighting is parental fighting," says Swanson. "It's very upsetting to kids."
During the school years, children are also more affected by changes in the family's spending habits, especially if that means no more music classes on Saturdays or no movies at the mall. Tweens and teenagers, meanwhile, are often devastated by drops in income because their social standing is so closely tied up with the price of their jeans and the gadgets they own.
Not surprisingly, wealthy children often respond to their family's money problems with anger. Some even steal money from their parents in a desperate attempt to regain some of their financial standing.
"Kids are feeling more slighted, they say it's not fair." says Joanna Ball, Ph.D., a children's psychologist who sees well-off kids at a private practice in a wealthy New York suburb and poor inner city kids at the Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx. "Poorer kids are more used to having to sacrifice. The recession is a different type of an adjustment for wealthier children."
Older kids are likelier to suffer from depression.
The way children express their anxiety varies wildly depending on age and temperament, but nightmares and refusal to go to school — out of fear that something bad might happen at home while they are gone — are often part of the mix. In children under five, regression — thumb-sucking, toilet accidents, separation anxiety — is common, and children are likely to become clingy.
Older kids are likelier to suffer from depression, which manifests itself in different ways.
Introverted children who are depressed sleep a lot and withdraw from others, in an attempt to hide or even suppress their feelings. Extroverted children are more likely to act out, by fighting with peers, defying their caretakers or simply behaving erratically — destroying favorite toys, for example. Stress symptoms in extroverted children are often brushed off as attempts to win attention, or worse, misdiagonesd as ADHD, says Carr.
"Children know that adults generally help them feel better, so they might seek out those interactions with adults, even if they're negative interactions," says Carr.
The good news in all of this is at the recession isn't going to last forever, and that these years offer parents a good chance to teach their children important values: that self-worth doesn't come from material possessions and that it's important to empathize with those with less money. The bad news is that the stress children experience now might haunt them for the rest of their lives.
Bruce Rabin, Ph.D., professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh and an expert on stress, says repeated bouts of stress before the age of seven can permanently damage cells in the brain's hippocampi, causing children to become more prone to depression and anxiety as adults. In addition, frequent stress during childhood makes them more susceptible to it later in life.
That's why it's so important for parents and caregivers to offer comfort and stability amid the turmoil. That doesn't mean hiding the truth from kids, but it does mean dispensing information thoughtfully and finding a way to release stress before walking through the door at the end of a rough day.
"Imagine being on a plane and experiencing violent turbulence — not knowing if this is normal or not, you look to the flight attendant," says Swanson. "This is what it is like for our children during times of financial stress. They may not understand the cause for the financial turbulence. But they need to feel secure that the plane isn't going down."
©2009 Dalia Fahmy and Babble
About the Author
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Dalia Fahmy is a journalist in Brooklyn, NY whose articles have
appeared in The New York Times, More Magazine, Parents and Parenting.
She has two kids and pretends really hard that she’s not a Park Slope
Mom. Check out her other stories at www.daliafahmy.com. |
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