To sit through a kids' movie, I need there to be a dark edge, or else a glittery glamour. I don't need those veiled adult references, like in Over The Hedge. Kid movies should be aimed at kids, not their parents. But kids are not morons! They are treated as such with the spoon-fed visual quality of sharply delineated, neon-color filled, computer graphics and plots meant to make the viewer feel really smart because they can guess every single next line. Where's the nuance? Where's the dirt? Where's the mystery? These four Halloween specials were neither trick nor treat for me — they were torture! And how could my children have been so satisfied by them? Is existentialism something we are not born with, but must first suffer and then seek?
— Lisa Carver, with Wolf (twelve) and Sadie (five)
Maggie & The Ferocious Beast: Trick or Treat
Sadie: The Beast doesn't look so ferocious to me!
Lisa: This show is pretty . . . young. Simplistic. Unfascinating.
Wolf: I think it's a good, though. Because you keep seeing those things in your house: shadows, sheets moving . . . you hear moans. I would like it better if it were real ghosts.
Lisa: You mean actors?
Wolf: No, in real life!
Thomas and Friends: Halloween Adventures
 Sadie: There's a dead monster train. But it's alive! The myth is true!
Wolf: [In the abandoned trainyard,] there's smoke that looks like spirits. Sparks. Fire. Cobwebs.
Sadie: That giant blue engine face is scared but still grumpy! Beware the Fire Duck!
Lisa: I think that says "Beware of the Viaduct." Oops . . .. they didn't beware the viaduct. Oh my god, I can't believe they let coal cars go over the edge of the cliff and crash! That is hardcore! The Thomas people go nuts over Halloween!
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: Mickey's Treat
 Lisa: Unlike Thomas, Disney is doing Halloween Light. A cute little costume party. What's your favorite?
Sadie: Daisy Duck as Little Bo Peep.
Wolf: Goofy as Metal Man.
Sadie: No, he's an armor.
Wolf: Metal Man.
Sadie: Armor!
Goofy: I'm a knight. Sir Goof-A-Lot! A giant candy corn blocking our path. Oh, shucks!
Mickey: Can we use Donald's rope to climb over the giant candy corn? You betcha!
Lisa: Do you guys think Mickey Mouse is in a bit too much of a good mood?
Sadie: Maybe he's so happy because he always gets the answers.
Lisa: Do you find that a little annoying?
Sadie & Wolf: Kind of.
Lisa: Thank god. I don't want to be the only crab in the room. But really you guys do like Mickey, and actually aren't annoyed at all, to tell the truth, right — and I am the only crab?
Sadie & Wolf: Yeah.
Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends: Bug-A-Boo Day Play
 Lisa: I can see you guys are enjoying this, but to me it's exactly like the first three. All chipper and non-threatening. Can you tell me a different kind of Halloween special that you'd like to see?
Wolf: Let's travel back in time, find our enemies' forebears, and eat their brains.
Lisa & Sadie: Yeah!!
The Halloween Children's Book Round-Up
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