My Child, My Choice

Having a baby changed my stance on abortion. by Sasha Brown-Worsham

July 19, 2007


This past October, I crossed from twenty-three to twenty-four weeks' gestation, marking the end of the period in which abortion is still legal. At that point, my bump had been growing for weeks. We knew it was a girl and I could feel the kicks and flutters inside me that signaled her growing independence. She was all we talked about: Would she have my nose? Her father's height?

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Every day, I hoped for a safe pregnancy and delivery. At each midwife appointment, I was comforted by the gallop of that tiny heart. She was still alive, still strong. I was conscious of the fact that until that point, I could have legally gone to my doctor, set up an appointment and had her removed. I had never put a face on abortion until it was my daughter's. But at six months' gestation, the question loomed large: if my fetus is actually a baby, is abortion murder?

When I was young, the topic was intellectual — a conversation about rights and freedom. When I was young, the topic was intellectual — a conversation about rights and freedom. I was taught that personal morality is fine and good as long as it does not infringe on another's. And yet: now, do I think life began at conception? Yes. My daughter's certainly did. The day two pink lines told me she existed, I already loved her.

Of course, she was a wanted, welcome addition. I wish that every baby in this country could have my daughter's opportunities for life and love. But that is unrealistic. There are many unwanted pregnancies and thousands of reasons why a mother might choose to abort. I cannot make the decision for those women, but I now understand the enormity of it, and what the pro-life side is trying to protect. I may not march on Washington again, but — to quote the ubiquitous bumper sticker sported by Volvos all over Massachusetts — I am "pro-child and pro-choice." My vote is still the same, even as my heart questions.

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About the Author

author bio Sasha Brown-Worsham's writing has been published in Runner's World, Parents, Parenting and many more publications. She also writes a marathon blog for Fit Pregnancy. She lives and works in Boston, Mass., where she also tries to keep her pre-schooler from killing her infant.

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