Babble

 

Truth be told, I am not immune to the moral barometer. To wit, showers with Mommy were at one point a special treat for my little guys. There was nothing inappropriate about this activity whatsoever, in my opinion. I washed their hair, made bubbles, and helped rinse. They didn't wash me. But one day, I noticed that they were tall enough that eye level for them was crotch level on me. And the shower stall does not leave a great deal of room for personal space. That was the day the Mommy showers stopped.

While I still hold my ground on my right to be naked around my kids, I do think there are certain parameters by which to abide:

1) I will not force my nudity on my children. Except for the rare occasion when I need to retrieve some critical article of clothing from the downstairs laundry room and decide to make a dash for it al fresco, my nakedness will remain in the bedroom and bathroom, where I have a right not to be paranoid about it. If they stumble upon me in a state of undress, so be it. If they don't want to get an eyeful — they will learn to knock.

2) I will never be naked in front of their friends. I do not aspire to be Stiffler's Mom. When guests are in the house, I will stay covered.

3) If I am going to put myself out there like that, I am going to have to be willing to answer their questions when asked. So far, there haven't been that many queries, but I probably should practice saying the word "vagina" a lot more.

4) No touching, tickling, hugging, kissing, back scratching or wrestling naked. I do not aspire to be Stiffler's Mom. While these are activities that we do engage in regularly when everyone is dressed, doing any of these things while clothes are off feels highly inappropriate. So it probably is.

5) Lastly and most important, I will trust my gut. We ask our own children to do that when it comes to protecting themselves. When something doesn't feel right — it almost certainly isn't. My choice to let my kids see me naked is always reversible. I can just simply start covering up. (For the record, I don't think the same can be said if your children have never seen you nude and you suddenly decide to expand their horizons.)

I would never judge another parent who is uncomfortable with nudity. I would ask her to do the same with me. With all the horrible things we hear happening to children, it is no wonder we have become a society of overly paranoid parents. It is one thing not to trust others with your children. It is another thing not to trust yourself. The fact that my son doesn't bat an eye at my unclad body suggests that I am raising an uninhibited child who has the highest level of comfort with his mother. And, in my opinion, there isn't anything creepy about that.

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Article photo courtesy Amanda Holden

©2008 Emily Mendell and Nerve Media