I chose not to cover up — and am sticking with that decision — because paranoia regarding nudity in my own home feels repressive. Yet, it remains an incredible quandary for me and the countless other parents who have young children of the opposite sex. My husband can walk around the house buck naked for the rest of his life without question or judgment because his parts match our children's. My sister, the mother of two daughters, can do the same. Yet, as a mother of brothers, my nakedness might be questioned. It feels unfair.
Fathers of daughters have it far worse. The stigma of who is and who isn't a sexual predator falls heavier on men. I find myself thinking often of The Good Mother, the Sue Miller novel turned movie with Diane Keaton and Liam Neeson, in which a mother's custody is threatened when her young daughter sees her boyfriend naked, and asks to touch his penis. The boyfriend, with actually the best intentions, agrees and all hell breaks loose. Clearly, in this scenario a line was crossed. But who draws the line?
Nudity in the family falls under the same guidelines as how long to breastfeed, how much TV gets watched or whether sugar cereal is available for breakfast. It varies by family and, I imagine lines up very closely to what the parents experienced as children.
Expert opinions on this particular topic may be out there, but finding them online is another story.
I remember seeing both my parents naked when I was a child — never out of context and never in an inappropriate way. I don't feel the least bit scarred by this. Conversely, married friends of ours who were both raised in conservative households never saw their parents naked. Consequently, they are never unclothed in front of their own children. I suspect they stay covered up in front of the family pets, too.
Expert opinions on this particular topic may be out there, but finding them online is another story. I went to Google "nudity, children" and then thought twice before hitting "I'm Feeling Lucky." I don't need Chris Hansen showing up in my kitchen. But my concern speaks directly to how stigmatized we have become.
©2008 Emily Mendell and Nerve Media