Bad Parent: Karate Kid
I watch combat sports with my five year old.
by Heather Kuldell
April 17, 2008
Jack gasped. "Why is he bleeding?"
"Because he got hit in the face with an elbow," I said. Then the voice in my head reminded me of the endless studies that say TV violence desensitizes children to suffering and makes them aggressive. In other words, if Jack grows up to be a serial killer, a psychologist will trace his anger to this very busted eyebrow. Shame should have overwhelmed me, but suddenly I had a thought: maybe seeing all that blood could do Jack some good.
"When you hit someone, it hurts," I said. "You can bruise them or even make them bleed." The connection is completely obvious — unless you're five. And I could see in Jack's eyes that, for the first time, he really made the connection. It wasn't me saying that someone could get hurt; the guy on TV did get hurt. Jack studied the cutman as he tried to repair the wound. He asked a few more questions — "Why's his eye all swollen?" "What happened to his ear?" — and I fielded them as best I could.
It surprises Jack — and frankly, me — how little it takes to knock out a certified tough guy.
Suddenly, Jack saw the world through the eyes of the injured. The Turtles' moves lost some of their cool.
Don't get me wrong; I like watching cartoons with Jack. I consider it a perk of parenthood. But I do have a problem with those characters' invincibility. Pro-wrestling, another popular topic of conversation in Jack's classroom, is even worse. They're still doing the old chair-to-the-back-of-the-head trick. Occasionally, the struck wrestler stays on the ground, but more often he gets up with a super-hero-like resilience to fight some more. What's that teaching kids?
Jack, the biggest and the tallest in his preschool class, thinks of himself as unbeatable, whether it's who can run the fastest or jump the highest. And as he heads to kindergarten this fall, I worry about his over-confidence. I prefer that somewhere in the back of his mind are the possible consequences of a fist to the face. Though it may seem extreme, MMA gives him that reality check. It surprises him — and frankly, me — how little it takes to knock out a certified tough guy. Just one well-placed punch can do it. It still startles him when an unconscious guy hits the mats, the ref stops the fight, and the medics rush in.
"That's why I don't fight," Jack told me after we'd turned off the DVD. "Except with pillows."
Photo by J. Heppell
©2008 Heather Kuldell and Nerve Media
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