It's more than a little ballsy for a seventy-three-year-old childless attorney to want to publish a book about parenting. But we're talking about Ralph Nader, a person hardly expected to give a rip about what would typically qualify him for the tasks at hand (2000 and 2004 presidential elections, anyone?).
Despite his latest book's sentimental language and appearance — the text is sepia-tone, chapters are illustrated with heartwarming sketches of his bucolic Connecticut hometown — The Seventeen Traditions
is a straightforward how-to manual on turning our precious blank slates into smart, worldly agitators who challenge authority, stand up for what's right, and do way more than just coloring outside the lines.
I called Nader recently to get his take on kids these days, their moms and dads, and whether modern urban parenting could possibly match the idyllic, safe, affordable setting of his own childhood. I also wanted to settle a personal vendetta: Decades ago, he ruined one of my own family's cherished traditions — cruising the open highway in my grandma's Chevy Corvair, a car Nader called "Unsafe at Any Speed" in the investigation and book that made him famous and launched his consumer and public advocacy career.
Plus, an exclusive on the 2008 elections. — Madeline Holler
What I want most for my two girls is that they learn to take risks, challenge authority, stand up for their principles and speak on behalf of themselves and others. I know from experience that can be intimidating, even alienating. It doesn't come naturally for me. Your father said, "Don't look down on anybody for their work, and don't be in awe of anybody." Is that how you can stand up to a corporation or openly criticize popular ideas or run for president two times? Not being in awe of anybody?
Well, [my siblings and I] watched our parents operate in the community. They stood up to injustice and My parents raised children who had a sense of purpose, who had an ever-developing public philosophy.falsehoods and bigotry. They weren't aggressive in any way, they were very casual about it and we learned that just by watching. There was a don't-look-down-don't-look-up approach. We weren't awed by kings or presidents or governors or CEOs. It was all about eye-level contact.
Is that how you can keep waging these monumental battles and not playing it safe?
Sure. And my parents raised children who had a sense of purpose, who had an ever-developing public philosophy and felt that their major purpose in life is to try to improve life.
You talk about consequences of self-censorship and conformity. In the parenting world, we're expected to tiptoe around our differences, lest we be accused of taking up arms in the "Mommy Wars." You write that your father engaged in political discussions with everyone who came through the door of his restaurant. How did he do that without offending people or losing customers?
First of all, he did it in a way where people felt their intelligence was being respected. There was no looking down on people. He respected their differences. He liked to engage with people though he might not agree with them. As for lost customers? He said that's the price of freedom. He did lose some business, but he came over here [to the U.S. from Lebanon] to breathe the air of freedom, free speech.
Mowing the lawn was hardly a favorite childhood activity of yours, but you say that kind of hard work was foundational. Where I live in Southern California, nobody, much less kids, seems to mow their own lawn. Even friends who are struggling to pay the mortgage always have $60 each month to pay the gardener.
That's a pronounced difference in the generations. These kids are missing out. They're not exercising their bodies, they're not getting the discipline of manual labor, which is important. Maybe later in life they'll have white-collar jobs, they won't know what goes into mowing or raking leaves or shoveling snow. In that sense, too, there's a loss. It's creating a spoiled generation, even. The discipline of work is part of being raised.
©2007 Madeline Holler and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Madeline Holler is a writer and mother of two. She lives in Long Beach, California. |
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