Creep Show
Can horror films help resolve my son's fears?
by Kevin Keck
October 27, 2008
I do not like scary movies. I do not like gore. I don't even like having a shot of Novocaine at the dentist's. My son's room looks like a dungeon year round — monster masks on the wall, shirts embroidered with pumpkins, costumes of all varieties, fake blood, fake knives, fake cobwebs, fake tombstones — it is a constant Halloween-apalooza.
When I was a kid, my room was decked out in Star Wars or G.I. Joe. My twin daughters have their room soaked in all things pink and Barbie. By contrast, my son seems a little weird. And I say this as a man who, prior to being married, lived alone with seven cats. I think I have a good grasp on weird.
I've consulted the various parenting handbooks — my son does not torture animals or play with matches, and so I have found these books to be of little help. He is, in fact, one of the most gentle children I've ever encountered. But when friends come over to visit, he comes bursting out of his room, dressed up like Freddy Krueger (in a costume he put together himself, with a glove that has bent paper clips taped to the fingertips), and pretending to slash everyone to shreds. Gavyn likes scary things and being scared.
I honestly worry about him for a variety of reasons. How much violence should I allow him to see? Wile E. Coyote is pretty violent with the Roadrunner; those old Disney movies contain a certain degree of violence (and sexual innuendo — when the old man takes Pinocchio and the other young boys to the Island of Pleasure where they indulge on cigars — that's some seriously creepy business); and in the middle of the day I can turn on the television and see the cops of Law & Order SVU discussing violent sexual crimes so depraved it makes me question the First Amendment. And we all know that oft-reported statistic of how many televised murders a child will see by the age of eighteen in the United States (16,000 according to the Senate Committee on the Judiciary in 1999). The American Academy of Pediatrics says, "Extensive research evidence indicates that media violence can contribute to aggressive behavior, desensitization to violence, nightmares, and fear of being harmed."
How much violence should I allow him to see?
Also, I worry about me. Things never turn out well for step-parents in horror films or on any of the Law & Order franchises.
But my son doesn't watch network television — we have standards of decency in my household. The only time he sees anything violent is when I allow him to watch Shaun of the Dead or Scream, and he's never allowed to watch them alone. Plus, I think those movies are sufficiently ridiculous to the point that it's clear they are not real. He and I have had extensive talks about actors and special effects and what a Foley artist does. Plus, I would never allow him to watch something like Saw; it was my dad who showed him A Nightmare on Elm Street.
"What's the big deal?" he said to me when I chastised him for it. "Johnny Depp is in it. Gavyn loves those pirate films he does."
"It's about a dude who kills kids in their dreams."
"What does he know? He's six. All he knows is that it's the pirate guy."
My dad was born just prior to World War Two. He grew up thrilled by movies featuring singing cowboys. I do not think my father has a grasp on how sophisticated small children have become since I was born in 1973.
I cannot help but recall Lenny Bruce's routine about the fact that he would rather his child watch a stag film than a movie with a lot of violence, because at least in the stag film the kids would be seeing people loving and hugging each other, as opposed to killing one another. In theory, I agree with his point. Logically, I know that there are more choices than just porn or violence.
©2008 Kevin Keck and Babble
About the Author
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Kevin Keck is the author of the memoir Are You There God? It's Me. Kevin., and a collection of personal essays, Oedipus Wrecked. Visit him at www.thekeck.com.
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