Bad Parent: Unschooling
Why my kid won't attend school this fall - or maybe ever.
by Joanne Rendell
September 18, 2008
My son Benny was out late last night at a bar in Soho. It's now ten-thirty a.m. and he's spread eagled across his bed, one long leg dangling off the mattress. His dirty bangs hang over his closed eyes, his mouth flutters open and shut as he breathes deep sleeping breaths. As ever, his socks are on, threadbare and gray at the heels.
In this pose, he's an average teenage boy, except for two things: he's just shy of five years old and today he starts un-kindergarten.
It's the new school year and while Benny's been sleeping this morning, many of his old babyhood friends have already eaten breakfast, donned their shining new backpacks and shoes, and trooped off toward their very first day of kindergarten.
Benny knows the word kindergarten. He's read about kids going to such a place in his books, many of which he insists on reading on his own these days. But he hasn't yet asked if he will be going to kindergarten. My partner, Brad, and I haven't really mentioned that he wont be.
Benny's never heard of un-kindergarten though. That's because I made up the term last night.
We were out with friends having drinks. Benny was with us, as usual. We'd hit that lull time around nine o'clock, post happy hour and pre-late night revelers when New York City bartenders don't seem to mind five-year-olds playing with cars and sipping cranberry juice near the bar.
Homeschooling is no longer (and probably never was) just a bunch of Bible-thumping Seventh Day Adventists
Our friends have no kids, but were curious about our decision not to send Benny to school. They're aware enough to know that homeschooling is no longer (and probably never was) just a bunch of Bible-thumping Seventh Day Adventists who teach their kids at home in order to avoid the heathens at public school. Our friends also understand that parents homeschool their kids in different ways and for different reasons.
Nonetheless, when I used the term "unschooling," they needed an explanation.
"There's no good soundbite to describe it," I said, "just as there's no good soundbite to describe school. But generally speaking, unschoolers don't send their kids to regular school and avoid teaching by curriculum. You won't find them at the kitchen table every morning doing math, then reading, then geography."
I went on to explain that unschoolers believe in letting a kid's curiosity, interests and natural hunger for knowledge guide their learning.
"So are you unschoolers, then?" Julie, our friend, asked.
Brad and I exchanged glances then gave vague yes/no head waggles.
©2008 Joanne Rendell and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Joanne Rendell is the author of The Professors' Wives' Club (NAL/Penguin). She lives in New York City with her family. Visit her at www.joannerendell.com. |
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