In Praise of Junk
Why giving kids only what's “good for them” is a bad idea.
by Brett Berk
March 9, 2009
I recently had lunch with my friend Amanda, who informed me that her one-year-old daughter had just discovered that the cookies she sometimes receives — when she's cranky, after dinner — do not materialize out of the ether each time they're presented, but come instead from a sacred source above the fridge, the cookie jar. This is a perfectly normal development for a toddler: when they reach a certain point, they begin to understand that life is not as a series of discrete events enacted upon them, but rather a interconnected web of objects, actions and decisions in which they are (in varying degrees) a functionary. The scientific term for this is "connecting the dots," and once kids discover it, they begin to act on it. "Now, whenever we're in the kitchen — or sometimes when we're not," Amanda said, "she'll point toward the cabinet and make that little I-want-it grunt."
I was psyched for this conversation. I'm not sure if it's because of my fascination with how kids work, my drive to rectify the self-inflicted disempowerment felt by contemporary parents, or simply because I thrive on conflict, but there's nothing I love discussing more than the intersection of children's desire and parental efforts at control. But at the time of our lunch, I was consulting for some cookie-making conglomerate — I advise companies that make stuff for kids — and whenever I work on these projects I become (briefly) engrossed in consumer behavior within what we call "the category": the product set being studied. So I sidetracked things to ask what kind of cookies Amanda was buying. "Some sort of Annie's Organic," she said. I must have pulled a face. "I know," she said, "that I'm a stereotype of this kind of mom, but I just don't want her to ingest preservatives or anything artificial. Ever."
Suddenly, in this one conversation, we'd touched on every element that informs parental attempts to manage children's intake of fun and compelling product — what I call "junk." Be it sweets, salty snacks, videos or TV, it comes down to a few core issues:
Being a kid is much like starting a new job every day.
1) Kids love junk.
2) Parents want to control the kinds of junk to which their kids have access.
3) Parents want their kids to learn to make healthy choices.
Now, we all personally know just how alluring junk can be, and how good reasonable indulgences feel. Why is this? Because life is a soul-crushing mission designed to destroy you, and moments of wanton happiness are our deserved refuge. If you think kids are immune to this feeling, you're wrong. Being a kid is extremely hard work. In fact, it's much like starting a new job every day: they're exposed to an onslaught of fresh information that needs to be integrated and acted on immediately; rules are often unstated or unclear, and then suddenly and righteously enforced; and their direct supervisors are often inexperienced, overworked, and incapable of delegation. Imagine yourself in that position. During your lunch break, or after each brutal day, don't you think you'd feel entitled to a quick burst of numbing relief? Well, kids do too. Which is why I offer the following thesis: Kids Deserve Junk.
The issue isn't whether or not kids are going to get junk. Junk is compelling, ubiquitous and readily accessible. So you can probably give up on the idea that you — like my friend Amanda — are going to be able to fundamentally prohibit its entry into your child's mind or body. More importantly, such a prohibition might actually work against you. Consider abstinence-only education, a teenage version of the same struggle. The scientific studies consistently show that attempting to place universal restrictions on a fun, pleasurable, and available action, without providing functional alternatives, is not only ineffectual, it's actually counterproductive. Kids who are exposed solely to this kind of advice actually have higher rates of pregnancy and STDs than those who are given more practical skills.
©2009 Brett Berk and Babble Media
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