Interview: Tori Amos
“Motherhood was a huge healer for me.”
by Amy Reiter
May 12, 2009
Religion is a big part of your music and how you were raised. I know you don't adhere to anything specific right now, but has it been an issue for you in raising Tash?
Tash is very aware that Granddad is a minister, but she has her own ideas of Mother Earth and God and what all that is. She's also really aware that she could be the first [female] American president and the Prime Minister, because she's checked it out.
She's very much a feminist, Tash. And she thinks Jesus is a very kind person and she doesn't understand why all those people that are in religions want to kill each other because they disagree. I think that makes a lot of sense, frankly. My personal path has
been inspired by the Native American path. My relationship with that community has grown, and a sense of a deep spirituality has been developing that has been influenced by traveling the world and seeing different cultures and perspectives. It's about being
more open-minded instead of accepting some traditional structure that got passed down from my grandparents. That seems very myopic and small-minded to me.
How do you feel about the poem Neil Gaiman wrote for Natashya, "Blueberry Girl," becoming a book? [Read Babble's
interview with Neil Gaiman about "Blueberry Girl" here.] And more important, how does she feel about it?
She is over the moon that Uncle Neil did that for her. He's one of her godfathers. We were in a bookstore in the States and bought a couple of copies to send to relatives, and she was really cute. She said, in her British accent, "Do you think, Mummy, they'll
give me a discount because it's about me?" I said, "No, Tash, that's not how it works, honey." That poem he wrote for her, it's a poem that he and I wanted him to share. I wanted to share it with all the other mothers for their children because I think it's
just the most beautiful thought that I could ever think for Tash.
"Mothers are women. We are sexual beings. That's how we became mothers."You sparked
some chatter with your last album by calling yourself a MILF. How has your sense of yourself as a sexual being changed since you became a mother?
It changes for a while, because your body is changing. I nursed, and then I wasn't producing enough milk, but I kept the night feeds up so that she could get the immunity. I'm happy I did that, but then my body changed. It wasn't that voluptuous shape anymore.
Once we got out of that time, I started to focus my interest on other women's issues, not just little kids' issues anymore. The human slave trade of women really bothers me, the idea that there are people that need to own a woman because they get off on having
power over her. I thought, well, hang on. I, as a woman who is a mother, want to explore my own idea of eroticism, but not in this demeaning perversion.
There has to be a spiritual erotica. Your partner is somebody that you respect and respects you. Mothers are women. We are sexual beings. That's how we became mothers. That's how it happens. It doesn't happen from the stork or because the angels sing or,
you know, God passes over and drops some seeds. It happens because we're sensual women and we did the most beautiful thing a man or woman can do. We have to see that as sacred but sexy. Because if we don't see it that way, somebody in the office is going to
see it that way and try and get your man.
Somebody asked me, what's the best smell you can think of? Some British paper, of course. And you know what I said? The best smell I can think of is when my husband gets off his motorbike. That's a good smell to me. I know I'm alive and I'm a woman and I
have my high heels on. Let's go! We as mothers can't be stupid. Don't be stupid. Tend your own fire, or some young girl, while your head's turned, is going to tend it for you.
What sorts of parenting lessons have you learned from your own parents?
My mother had an amazing way of asking me not "How did it go?" but "How do you feel about it?" It's not about the result; it's about how I felt about the result. That's very different. Some nights, when the performances haven't gone the way I wanted, I'll
call her up and she'll say, "Now, look, the question is not whether or not you're a champion. The question is what can Mama do for you?" Sometimes you just need a hug. That's all you need from Mom, to know that, whatever you do, she's going to love you.
Click here to download "Maybe California" — free!
Cilck here to buy Abnormally Attracted to Sin from Amazon.
About the Author
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Amy Reiter has written for Glamour, Marie Claire, The New York Times Book Review, The Washington Post, Time Out New York Kids and Wine Spectator, among other publications, as well as the anthology "Maybe
Baby." A former editor at Salon, she lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two children. |
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