Interview: Tori Amos
“Motherhood was a huge healer for me.”
by Amy Reiter
May 12, 2009
Tori Amos has never shied away from thorny subjects. The outwardly lilting, inwardly wrenching songs on the ten studio albums the singer-songwriter
has put out in her twenty-year career — her latest, Abnormally Attracted to Sin, is due out May 19th
— have dealt with
her own rape ("Me and a Gun") and the
three miscarriages she suffered ("Spark," "Playboy Mommy") before the birth of her daughter Natashya, now
eight. Her gritty-pretty music also routinely reflects on sex and religion, topics that Amos, the daughter of a minister who's also part Cherokee, has spent years exploring in her own life.
But despite the glimmering darkness of some of her lyrics and the personal hardships she's endured, or maybe because of them, Amos, who is married to
British sound engineer Mark Hawley and splits her time between Cornwall, England, and Florida, when she's not on the road, has a remarkably upbeat approach to life. "The universe never deals you a problem you can't handle," she says, on the phone from London.
"If it's on your plate then it's your time to learn this at Earth school."
In a candid, rather intense and occasionally un-PC conversation, Amos spoke to Babble about facing tough times, appreciating her husband's smell, and the pleasure she takes in sharing "Blueberry
Girl,"
the poem Neil Gaiman wrote for Natashya and recently released as a book. —
Amy Reiter
You released one of the new album's songs,
"Maybe California," as a free download for Mother's Day. What are you hoping to get across to other mothers with that song?
"All of us as mothers are pushed to the edge sometimes."All of us as mothers are pushed to the edge sometimes and need another hand or some higher self to reach out to remind us that, more than anything, we want to be with the ones we love, even if we can't make it all okay. I think it's the hardest when we can't
make things okay, when we can't give the husband his job back, when we can't make the hurts go away. Yet the truth is, we're irreplaceable as mothers. Nobody can fill our shoes. I felt like that was something we all needed to pass around to each other, because
sometimes we suffer in silence and keep our downs in private. I tend to keep them there. These have been some dark times in the last year, but we're not alone. All of us have to reground ourselves and remember that success is sometimes being able to survive
tumultuous times and to be a safe port in a storm.
Do you feel like these tough times are hitting mothers particularly hard right now?
I do. If you're a working mother and your
partner's being laid off, you have to redefine what success is, what power is, what a provider is, and still find your self worth in all that. This is not a time of economic abundance, but it can be a time of spiritual abundance. We just have to create
out of the destruction and find different ways, and mothers are amazing conjurers.
We need to find bright spots in the dark times.
Well, I've had a rough year. A lot of people have for different reasons. It's a year of change. Yet through these challenges, there have been times when it's the songs that have been there for me and reached out to me.
How has this year been difficult for you?
I don't want to go into detail. It's just been challenging and I've had to make a lot of changes. Change doesn't have to be a negative thing. Sometimes you just have to upgrade your own system and your way of thinking. You have to look at the situation with
pragmatism and know that you're capable of anything. But the universe never deals you a problem you can't handle. If it's on your plate then it's your time to learn this at Earth school. If we know that, then we go, okay, I'm ready for the next class.
About the Author
|
|
Related Articles
|
|
Amy Reiter has written for Glamour, Marie Claire, The New York Times Book Review, The Washington Post, Time Out New York Kids and Wine Spectator, among other publications, as well as the anthology "Maybe
Baby." A former editor at Salon, she lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two children. |
|
|
-
by Gwynne Watkins
Kiddie lit's prince of darkness has created the perfect shower gift.
-
by Ada Calhoun
On Supernanny, breastfeeding and her Beach Boy father.
-
by Tammy La Gorce
The singer on his Haitian childhood and suburban dadhood.
|
