Interview: Marlee Matlin
"I'd love to do the story of Octomom!"
by Tammy La Gorce
May 5, 2009
Your kids know Marlee Matlin as the deaf lady from Blues Clues. But if you've been paying attention, you know her as an actress skilled at taking the world by surprise. As a twenty-one-year-old in 1986, she won an Oscar for starring in
Children of a Lesser God, her first major role, opposite William Hurt (she's still the record-holder for youngest winner in the Best Actress category). Later, she traversed the prime-time landscape with parts in everything from Seinfeld to
Desperate Housewives to The L Word. Just last year, the mother of four wowed reality-TV viewers with a sassy and effortless-looking cha-cha-cha on
Dancing With the Stars. And now she's written a tell-all: I'll Scream Later, out this month,
lays down the facts about her onetime drug and alcohol addictions as well as her abusive relationship with Hurt.
As expert as Matlin has become at keeping fans guessing, though, she's never unpredictable when it comes to discussing her disability. Deafness,
she's quick to point out, does not define her. In a recent email exchange with Babble, she outlined how it seeps into her life as an actress and as a mom — for instance, sign language comes in pretty handy when you're out on the town with a five-year-old who
doesn't want the rest of the world to hear what you're saying. — Tammy La Gorce
You're only forty-three, but you've already had an extraordinary life — a Golden Globe (for
Children of a Lesser God). An Oscar. Wild praise for your moves on a nationally televised dance floor. Four kids! And now you've written a book.
I'll Scream Later is getting a lot of attention for the straightforward approach you took in describing
your abusive two-year relationship with William Hurt in the late 1980s, even though that may not be the part of the book you'd like readers to focus on. Why did you feel it was important to tell that story?
"I wanted people to know that deaf people like myself lead complex and varied lives."It was time to tell my truth. After having been on Dancing with the Stars, where I literally got thousands of emails and letters telling me that my dancing to music that I couldn't hear was so inspiring, I wanted people to see that there was more of me
than just that. I think it was actually playing myself for the first time as opposed to a character in a movie or TV show that allowed me to look into myself. Also, with my daughter turning thirteen — which is the same age that I began all of the addiction in my
life — I had a chance to reflect and the book was the best way to just put it out there and release what was pent up in me so long.
Sarah Rose, your oldest daughter, is the one who just turned thirteen. Has she read the book? Had you talked to her prior about your former drug and alcohol abuse, which is also outlined in
I'll Scream Later?
She is familiar with the fact that the book is out there, but my husband and I didn't want the book to distract from her studies. So we've told her that she can read the book this summer. But bits and pieces have seeped into her consciousness
as some of her friends have told her what their parents have read. My husband and I sat her down and had a very straightforward conversation on what the book was about and what to expect. We felt the best way to watch out for her was to tell her the truth.
And she was absolutely fine with it.
Are people surprised to learn about your relatively wild past? Do they typically think of deaf people as living calm, sheltered lives?
That was the point of writing the book. I wanted people to know that deaf people like myself lead complex and varied lives just as people who can hear. As I said in the book, though I am deaf, it is but one part of who I am. I have never defined
myself by my deafness. But it is part of who I am.
You've been married to Kevin Grandalski, a one-time policeman, since 1993. Congratulations! That's a long marriage, and not just in Hollywood terms. Parents with young kids are prone to marital struggles: the kids come along
and the marriage takes a back seat. Have you been able to avoid this scenario in your marriage? How?
Marriage is a commitment that my husband and I do not take lightly. We work at it. We also work at being a family and we always make sure that one of us is with the kids at all times, rather than throwing them to nannies or sitters. I had plenty
of time to make sure Kevin was the right man for me and I know he did the same. Family is number one for both of us, and though we know that work is a big part of our lives we do our best to balance both. I think we've done it pretty well!
©2009 Tammy La Gorce and Babble Media
About the Author
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Tammy La Gorce is a freelance entertainment writer living in New Jersey with her son and daughter. Her work regularly appears in The New York Times, GRAMMY and other magazines. |
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