feedback for "The Breastfeeding Conspiracy"

1. "If we inform women of the risks of not breastfeeding, and women make a different choice, they need to understand there will be repercussions."

    

   I have a 15 year-old daughter who was formula fed from two weeks old (no, not up to now.  she's since moved on to steak and mac&cheese) and I'm here to tell you that the repercussions are finally rearing their ugly heads.  She's a well adjusted, socially accepted, great teenager with a 3.8 grade point average.  Oh the humanity!

    

    

   posted by : raava on 12/13/2006 at 12:48 AM Flag For Abuse

2. This article was great!  I did breastfeed with relative ease with both my children, but my sister had much more difficulty.  She nicknamed the La Leche League the Mother's Milk Militia because of how powerful their guilt-inducing messages were to her psyche.  Her kids, now 11 and 9, are top honors students and practically professional level classical musicians.  Following in her footsteps, I was thankfully able to tease apart the faulty association between Good Mom and Breastfeeding Mom, and do what felt the best for me and my kids. 

    

   One other thing that I think plays into the whole only-breastfeeding-moms-are-good-moms charade is that it keeps dads at bay.  What a sad thing!  Breastfeeding is the one thing men can't do for their children - and when new moms take over sole duties for feeding right from the beginning, they set themselves and their partners up for inequality in parenting that can last decades.  So, if you are breastfeeding, pump, pump, pump - as much as you can!  Okay, maybe wait a few weeks to avoid 'nipple confusion' if you must, but then let your baby's daddy do at least one feed a day (while you sleep!) and let him be your equal as parents together.

   posted by : violinline on 12/13/2006 at 9:54 AM Flag For Abuse

3. True, LLL and other sources can be too militant, and probably contributed to the insane distress I felt when I had to give formula supplements to my newborn daughter, who was big, alert, and too high-strung to eat properly at first. Now, at three months, she's still hard to feed if she's tired, in an unfamiliar environment, etc., but I did finally pass the point when I felt like I was torturing both of us and am now glad we stuck with it.

   Though there are many reasons that formula feeding may be necessary or preferable for some families, society has far to go before we can say women don't breastfeed by choice. Many women are forced not to breastfeed because of their jobs or lifestyle, and unfortunately there if a class divide: an executive with an office can pump as she pleases in privacy. The woman working the fryer at a fast food joint most likely has no such opportunity.

   
   

   posted by : jonelle on 12/13/2006 at 12:31 PM Flag For Abuse

4. I breastfed my daughter for one week (hold the applause.)  Yes, I worked with a Lac. consultant.
   By day three both of my nipples were bleeding - not just sore - bleeding.  I had to bite down on a washcloth while I nursed to get through the pain.
   Bonding time? If someone were torturing you, would you want to cuddle them and stroke them and whisper sweet nothings into their ear? I couldn't even look at my daughter - I just clamped down on my washcloth and closed my eyes until it was time to switch breast. 15 hours of childbirth and 3 hours of pushing with an epidural that refused to "take" was more bearable. 
   Pumping? Try inserting an raw open wound into a sucking device and see how great that feels.  I cried the whole time. By day 5 I dreaded feeding time.  By day 7 I aquiesced, switched to formula and although I felt horribly guilty, I had to move on.
   
   Looking back, despite the agony, I still feel bad for not trying harder.
   
   

   posted by : NCMama on 12/13/2006 at 12:58 PM Flag For Abuse

5. also - don't be fooled that white collar women in offices are able to pump.  i worked in an all-glass office (no privacy.) at one point, four nursing moms took turns pumping in a tiny storage closet - sitting on an upturned trashcan because a chair could not fit through the door. it was either that or the bathroom. glamorous, huh?
   

   posted by : NCMama on 12/13/2006 at 1:02 PM Flag For Abuse

6. I toast you with a bottle of Alimentum!

   posted by : BarbaraR on 12/13/2006 at 2:06 PM Flag For Abuse

7. Thank you for a balanced, informative and humorous article.  I look forward to reading more from this talented author. 

   posted by : aka on 12/13/2006 at 2:21 PM Flag For Abuse

8. Excellent article! This discussion feels overdue. Due to severe post-partum depression, anxiety, insomnia, medications, etc., I am unable to exclusively breastfeed my son. I live in a crunchy-granola place and I felt/feel an intense amount of pressure to exclusively breastfeed for a year or more, even though my midwives, doctors and pediatrician all support my use of formula in my particular situation. I am now breastfeeding my son (he's nearly 2 months old) about half the time, and using formula half the time. The formula option has literally been a lifesaver for me, and has enabled me to enjoy my baby and my life. My husband and I share babywrangling nearly equally, and this feels very healthy for our family, too. He and I both feel incredibly bonded with our son. Continuing to insist that women always be the most primary parent by physically tying themselves to their babies for a year beyond pregnancy isn't always best for women, men, babies and families. Is formula Evil Corporate Food? Yes. Does it give women choices? Yes. Birth control is made by Evil Corporations, too, but I am not giving that up anytime soon, either.
   

   posted by : hanabel on 12/13/2006 at 4:17 PM Flag For Abuse

9. I opted not to breastfeed because I knew my daughter was better off on formula and with a non-crazy mother than she would be if I had an episode of major depression.
   
   She is now 6 and healthy as a horse, unless you count the eczema.  She may be a bit emotionally immature due to being an only child and hence not having to compete with other kids for attention, but her verbal and cognitive abilities are off the chart and she's friendly and confident (sometimes overconfident, as she already has somehow gotten the idea that she knows everything and I know nothing.
   
   Feeding times were lovely, some of my best memories.  We would snuggle up close while she fed and then she'd fall asleep on my shoulder.
   
   I'm certainly not anti-breastfeeding by any means, but I do think people need to learn to keep their judgements to themselves and understand that using formula is not child abuse.
   
   D
   
   

   posted by : denalynn on 12/13/2006 at 10:31 PM Flag For Abuse

10. Thank you for such a balanced, informative article.  I can't believe there's actually someone being honest and objective about The Great Feeding Debate. 

    posted by : bebe on 12/14/2006 at 11:23 AM Flag For Abuse

11. I'm an adoptive mom and I really hated all those "bonding" comments, even more than the constant insinuations that my baby's IQ was being compromised by forumula. The truth is that unlike many of my nursing friends, I loved feeding time - and so did my husband. It was peaceful and wonderful. Our son was also one of the few kids in our neighborhood who didn't have to have ear tubes put in, and at his pre-school parent-teacher conference this fall his teacher told me he's so smart they don't know what to do with him! So there. Thanks for a great article!

    posted by : KM on 12/14/2006 at 4:34 PM Flag For Abuse

12. If there are any doubts to breastfeeding being the best choice, ask the woman who was lost in Oregon what she thinks. Just think, you still can ask her BECAUSE she was breastfeeding her baby. She and her children were kept alive on her breastmilk.

     

    You all know that breastfeeding is the best choice for babies. There is no argument against it. It's better for the health of your child, it's better for your health (let's not forget about the fact that breast cancer rates are highest in cultures were women don't breastfeed long enough or at all), and it's better for the environment. This article is ridiculous because she's saying that those of us who successfully breastfeed our babies, and those that divulge these statistics about just what the health benefits are of breastfeeding are at fault for her guilt. When we feel guilty - it's because we know we didn't make the best choice. That's where guilt comes from. If I eat a whole chocolate cake and then feel guilty about it, is it the chocolate cake's fault? Is it the fault of my doctor who tells me that it's not healthy to eat a whole chocolate cake? Sorry - that's not how it works. 

     

     

     

     

     

     

    posted by : mom2boys on 12/14/2006 at 6:26 PM Flag For Abuse

13. I don't think anybody is denying that breast milk is the ideal choice assuming the absence of any absolute obstacles such as dire pain, bleeding, or lack of milk.  On the other hand, I also don't think the presence of those obstacles should have to prevent someone who wants a baby from having one and feeding it lovingly with formula!
    
    I was forty years old when I had my daughter, and I felt no guilt whatsoever about making what I thought was the healthiest choice for her, which was to have formula and hence not be subjected to the medication I was taking.  I was very lucky indeed that I didn't have anybody even try to lay a guilt trip on me, but maybe they just knew better.
    
    I completely disagree with the previous poster about where the guilt comes from in other moms, though.  I see it as a normal reaction to being shamed by others for something they already feel bad enough about.  If you know very well that breast milk is considered to be the healthiest choice for most babies but breastfeeding is causing you so much pain that it interferes with your ability to function or bond with your child, you have a difficult enough choice on your hands without having outside people feel the need to judge you or try and dictate what you need to do.
    
    
    
    

    posted by : denalynn on 12/15/2006 at 12:02 AM Flag For Abuse

14. Bless you for this article.  The lactation Nazis have been torturing me for years.  i am very organic and dedicated to living an enlightened, healthy,  peaceful life with my family.  I love discussing parenting and childbirth issues... light heartedly of course.  With that said I also subscribe to common sense parenting and focusing on the greater good.  i do at times feel guilty for switching over to formula on both kids but your article really made me see I'm not alone in the under production department.  i  felt it was such a cruel twist of fate to have the fabulous rack i do and not be able to produce enough breast milk, but it happened.  i never was able to get a clear answer to what my problem was, i am hypothyroid and i may have some blocked ducts.  in any case the milk never came in the way it was supposed to and with my first daughter it landed us in the hospital with her being dehydrated.  i still decided to give it a go again with the second and i seemed to produce a little more but then had latching on issues.   i found even the lactation consultants to be impatient, cold and down Right rude and i was thinking where is the love?? where is the woman empowering woman energy here?  that's why i lovingly call them Nazis because i feel the culture is very harsh towards moms and as your article points out... shouldn't we support moms and all the demands and challenges we face... from my head space,  we are to support individual choice when it comes to reproductive rights.. and let us not forget to do the same with breastfeeding rights.  brava to the moms who can, i encourage it too... but let's back down from those who already feel bad that we are unable.

    posted by : mom2bksfinest on 12/15/2006 at 8:50 AM Flag For Abuse

15. please allow me to add my voice to the chorus saying "thank you so much" for writing this article.  i'm another one who set out to breastfeed and ended up having problems with milk supply.  my baby was unable to latch on properly, due to a shortened frenulum(sp?) and we had to use a nipple shield.  i have no idea if this had anything to do with my body's inability to produce enough milk, but at the 6week checkup my pediatrician freaked at how little weight he was gaining.  so it formula supplementation from then on out.

     

    i felt pretty horrible about it, like a failure, the nagging voice inside my head saying "did you *really* try hard enough?"  but you know, my husband was working 60-70 hour weeks, i had no help with childcare,  was suffering from severe post-partum depression, and was trying as hard as i could.  not to mention going out of my mind with the marathon nursing sessions - some 4-5 hours at a stretch.  my poor little guy was so hungry he just wanted to eat all the time.

     

    i talked to some lactation consultants and they were all saying things like -- go to bed for 2 days & do nothing but nurse!  to which my reaction was:  and who's going to feed me?  who's going to do the laundry?  or any of the million things that need to get done every day?  (we were in the middle of buying a new house & moving at that time, too.  stress much?)  they also said things like:  pump more!    and i know that is a commonly given piece of advice.  but i don't know how i was supposed to do that.  i had nobody to hold my baby while i pumped, and he wanted to be held 23.5 hours/day at that point.  how do women who do all this pumping do it?  i honestly don't know.  do they have someone who helps them?  i was all alone.

     

    it was so hard.

     

    and you know what?  he's thriving on formula.  my mild dried up completely when he was about 5-1/2 months old, which was fine because it was time for me to go back to work anyway.  he has yet to be sick a day in his life (touch wood) and he's a gorgeous healthy happy smart active little guy.

     

    i've long suspected that the positive claims for breastfeeding were probably largely correlations rather than causation, since breastfeeding is definitely a luxury for the middle- and upper-middle classes.  every single health claim made about breastfeeding can be traced to social class differences as well.  coincidence?  i highly doubt it.

     

    anyway, thanks again.

    posted by : trishka on 12/15/2006 at 2:16 PM Flag For Abuse

16. All the arguments in this article and in the comments have been said time and time again.  I agree that mothers should not be beaten into submission, but I think breastfeeding and formula feeding is just one battle in the war of the mommies.  I think, in general, that moms need to support each other instead of pointing fingers.  And there is a general agreement in moms, that I talk to, that if the govenrment wants more moms to breastfeed then they need to make concessions for mothers in many areas.

     

    I breastfed my daughter for 8 months and my son for 9 months.  I know why I weaned both of them and I know how I could have continued breastfeeding.  I made the decision that I was not going to stress myself out.  There was guilt over weaning, but I evenutally got over it.  I know that I did what was best for my family at the time.  Let's face it there are enough stresses with babies that no one needs to add to situation.   

     

    Whenever I encounter a new mom, who is having problems with breastfeeding, I am supportive and do offer some solutions to the problem.  That goes for other newborn problems as well.  However, I tell them that it is okay to formula feed or do both.  I think that is an option that people forget about.  Frankly, moms should help and not hurt. 

     

    One last thing, I dont know where are all these people making comments.  I have breastfed and bottle fed my babies in public and no one has said anything.  I live in the deep South where people are supposedly less tolerant.  I think strangers should mind their business, unless a child is in danger and I dont consider formula putting a child in danger.   

    posted by : Wendy on 12/15/2006 at 3:09 PM Flag For Abuse

17. This was such a well written article. I nursed my oldest daughter until she was 15 months, and am nursing my second daughter right now (she is almost 8 months). I was so lucky to have it go well - easy latch, very little pain, they both gained weight appropriately, and as a stay-at-home mom, pumping at work was never an issue. And if everyone had it that easy - great, the world would be full of breastfeeding moms. But they don't have it that easy and it KILLS me to read some of the bloggers out there that go on and on about how horrible formula is. And how horrible the moms who use it are. I don't care what your reason - be it pain or low milk production or even just not wanting to nurse - loving your children and formula feeding are not mutually exclusive.
    
    

    posted by : mama2mia on 12/15/2006 at 3:33 PM Flag For Abuse

18. I must add to this discussion a point I have not seen made.  An earlier poster mentioned that "breastfeeding is a luxury for the upper- and middle-classes."  I disagree; breastfeeding is not a luxury by any stretch of the imagination.  It is simply a child-rearing option.  We are fortunate to live in a country where it can be considered an option.  If we lived in a poorer country, we would likely not have the option to feed anything but breastmilk.  Even in this country, formula was not an option until about 100 years ago.  Babies were raised on mother's milk, be it their own mother or another lactating woman, i.e. a wetnurse.    We are mammals; this is what mammals do.  It is how we survive.  Now that our society has produced a safe alternative to human milk, we have a feeding choice. 

       There is the question of guilt in this controversial issue, but there is also the natural tendency of human beings to question or judge choices which are different from their own.  Thirdly, there is simply the feeling - I dare not call it pity - that some mothers feel when they encounter a formula-feeding mother who was given faulty breastfeeding information, who was unjustly swayed by the pretty formula samples in their convenient bag, or who simply was not given the help or support they needed to learn how to breastfeed.  As mothers we like to help each other, we analyze and pick apart every little choice we make regarding our children, but about this one thing we are so sensitive. 

       Why is it so hard to learn to breastfeed?  There are so many reasons, but one I have not seen mentioned here is that many, many women have simply never seen it done before they have their own baby.  Before there was formula, everyone breastfed, so little girls watched it happen their whole lives.  Teenagers learned from their older sisters or aunts, cousins or neighbors.  Our culture is disconnected in many ways and our society does not support new mothers they way they need to be supported.  In many cultures the new mother is elevated to the highest status she may achieve in her entire life and everything is done for her and the baby (except breastfeeding). 

       My solution: in my perfect world, mothers who formula-feed do not feel they are being attacked by mothers who choose to breastfeed in their presence, and they accept advice or information without feeling that they are being judged or forced into doing something they don't want to do.  And mothers who breastfeed and enjoy it feel free to talk about it and believe in it without being called names like "lactivist" or "breastfeeding Nazi," a disgusting term which minimalizes the debate by demeaning one side.  It's very easy to be sensitive and take offense at everything someone says to you; it is much more difficult to accept what people say and truly consider the motives of the speaker. 

    posted by : cstar2006 on 12/15/2006 at 8:27 PM Flag For Abuse

19. 
    I thought this article was great! I went to all the breastfeeding
    classes and had a lactation consultant. I was determined on breastfeeding our
    son for the first year. However after the mastitis, bleeding, and dealing with depression.
    I still couldn’t stop breastfeeding because just like others have said the
    guilt was too strong. I felt even more guilty when all of my friends who
    breastfeed their children would say,” Hang in there; it is better for the baby”
    That is when I realized is it better for him to have breast milk or a happy mom
    that enjoys feeding and holding him? After weighing everything I made my hard decision
    and decided that it was best to stop. Now I am glad that I did because I wouldn’t
    give up all those times of feeding him the bottle and actually being able to bond with him. 
    I know that I turned out to be a better mother for our son.
    
    I do want to point out that I agree with an earlier post about women not really being taught by other women to breastfeed. Unfortunately,
    not a single person in my family including my mother, mother in law and sisters
    breastfeed their children. Therefore when I was struggling with it, instead of
    them helping all I got was the blank look. I am not saying that the Lactation
    Consultant was not helpful but wouldn’t you rather have a family member who you
    know has experience in this and truly sympathizes with you than a stranger. I
    often wondered why is it that we are taught to cook, clean, and to take care of
    our families but when it comes to nursing, many women have never seen another woman
    nurse, including me. Breastfeeding classes did not do justice to what I was
    about to experience; I know that I would have had a better chance of succeeding
    if my family would have been more pro active. 

    posted by : DA on 12/16/2006 at 6:14 PM Flag For Abuse

20. I thought this piece was a balanced, level-headed look at breast feeding/formula feeding issue. I was surprised and disappointed, however, by the choice of the title.  "The Breastfeeding Conspiracy" implies something much more sarcastic or negative. Then again, controversy does attract readers.  And judging by the number of Comments, I guess it worked.   

    posted by : Mama on 12/17/2006 at 9:30 PM Flag For Abuse

21. Great article.  My first child was premature, and I nursed her by sheer will.  I endured months of cracked nipples, pain, poor latch, etc.  In reality, I pumped and bottle fed more than actual "boob" time.  At around 3 months of age, I started loving it, and didn't actually wean utnil 14 months old when I got pregnant with baby #2.  I'm now at 10 months with this baby and going strong.

     

    I am a full-time work outside the home mommy, and I'm proud to say that my kids are 100% boobie babies.  It hasn't been easy.  I've pumped in the backseat of my car in freezing temps, as well as during the heat of the summer.  I now have my own office, and taped paper up over the windows to pump in privacy.  I'm lucky to have a female boss who supports me and allows me a place to pump, but even so its been difficult.

    posted by : ChrisT on 12/18/2006 at 7:29 PM Flag For Abuse

22. I think the guilt people felt would be less if the ingredient list of some formulas didn't include Corn SYRUP!
    I was formula fed. I turned out great. I breatsfed my 2, but watched my sister struggle with a milk allergy in her son and have to switch to formula.  Of course her son is great and bonded to her and super smart etc. I think we are lucky to live in a time and place where formula is an option when breastfeeding is not working for mother or baby, but CORN SYRUP? Corn syrup is not poison, but is it what infants should be consuming? why not just regular old sugar?
    I think we are just starting to instill fast food culture right away in our babies and it bothers me. People who formula feed should not be ashamed, but the formula companies should be striving to have only natural ingredients and should be accountable to someone other than the corn lobby....
    
    

    posted by : cknyc on 12/23/2006 at 8:57 PM Flag For Abuse

23. Some of the smartest and healthiest  people I know were 100% formula fed. Conversly, some of the beyond dumbest and unhealthy people were 100% breast fed. I wish this whole corrolation of IQ and health to breastfeeding would just STOP. Most of this is genetically determined anyway --- We live in a culture where we're constantly looking for a magic bullet. People, there IS no magic bullet to up your kids IQ to the point where s/he is guaranteed a spot at Harvard. NONE.
    
    
    
    

    posted by : arirang on 1/21/2007 at 2:51 PM Flag For Abuse

24. Some of the smartest and healthiest  people I know were 100% formula fed. Conversly, some of the beyond dumbest and unhealthy people were 100% breast fed. I wish this whole corrolation of IQ and health to breastfeeding would just STOP. Most of this is genetically determined anyway --- We live in a culture where we're constantly looking for a magic bullet. People, there IS no magic bullet to up your kids IQ to the point where s/he is guaranteed a spot at Harvard. NONE.
    
    
    
    

    posted by : arirang on 1/21/2007 at 4:06 PM Flag For Abuse

25. Another point to add to the discussion, swaying it away from the simple "blame/guilt the mother" mentality, is the reality of tongue tie. It would be great to read a follow up article on the quite possibly underestimated prevalence of tongue tie, which may be causing much breastfeeding "failure" and "low milk supply" in mothers. If your child is tongue tied you will probably have constant nipple pain, latch problems, and supply problems until the tie is remedied. And some pediatricians are very reluctant toward the issue though there is evidence that additionally later speech and dental problems can occur.   A second point, why are breast pumps such torture devices too? It would be wonderful for the money  being put forth to make formula "closest to breastmilk" to be put toward technological advances that could just effectively and painlessly get the breastmilk out for those whose circumstances nessecitate bottlefeeding.

    posted by : Gonzobunny on 2/15/2007 at 11:58 PM Flag For Abuse

26. I think this was a great, well-balanced article. Thanks for looking into the "breastfeeding --> higher IQ" studies. When the NYT article came out, I also questioned the cause and effect relationship, but I didn't actually dig into the research.
    
    FWIW, I successfully pumped at work until my son was a year, and am still nursing at wakeup and bedtime. But just because I like nursing and it's worked well for me and my son doesn't mean I should be guilted into it -- or that anyone else should make the same choice. I was exclusively formula fed, and I turned out fine. :)
    

    posted by : LizaWasHere on 3/2/2007 at 1:08 PM Flag For Abuse

27. When the pediatrician told me the medication I'm on for bi-polar disorder is "absolutely counter-indicated" for breastfeeding, I was heartbroken. I had planned from day one to breast feed.  During the very awful last weeks of my pregnancy when I had to decide whether or not to go off my medication in order to breastfeed, everyone offered an opinion, and to my great surprise, 90% of then were positive support for formula feeding (including the pediatrician).  I had been riding the wave of guilt that you mention in the article, thinking that if I did not breastfeed, people would assume I was a lazy, selfish woman who did not care about what's best for my baby.  Instead, what I heard was a chorus of women saying "Hey! We didn't breastfeed either, and our kids are fine! Don't buy into the guilt."  What I heard was, despite the hype for breastfeeding (which no one argues is the ideal situation,) many, many women still formula feed.
     
    In the end, I also decided to formula feed.   After all, having a stable mommy is much healthier than a not-so-stable one.  And any lingering guilt I felt disappeared when I saw my husband's joy while being able to feed the baby too, and I didn't have to be solely responsible for nighttime feedings. We bonded like champs (and she bonded with her father as well.) She's fine, 18 months old, smart and healthy as a horse.  Plus -- sane mommy!
    
    
    

    posted by : sarafena on 3/23/2007 at 11:11 AM Flag For Abuse

28. Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I was unable to breastfeed and was completely torn up about it.  My doctor, pediatrician, and lactation consultant all said: Give it up and enjoy your baby.   One note on the post from the woman about being lost in the woods -- I keep several weeks worth of formula around in case of disaster.  I live in earthquake country, but every area has its own type of disaster -- floods, hurricanes, tornados (riots, fires, landslides, for Buffet fans).  I heard a story, maybe apocryphal, that some formula-fed babies died in New Orleans during the distaster there, and that made me a big believer in stockpiling formula -- and bottled water.

    posted by : conina on 5/25/2007 at 8:55 PM Flag For Abuse

29. First, this is a thoughtful and thought-provoking article that does a good job of getting beyond the myths. Certainly formula is not poison and, like Reefer Madness, hysteria is not going to accomplish anything except making people look foolish and turning off others to the cause.
    
    I was formula fed and I am well-educated (two Ivy degrees) and now have a great little baby of my own--and I am still exclusively breastfeeding her.  I believe in strongly advocating a woman's right to breastfeed and encouraging mothers to try breastfeeding and, if successful, keep it up.
    
    I also advocate leaving individual women alone to make any valid choice they believe is right for their families.
    
    That being said...this article reads like a justification, albeit a well-researched and well-written justification, of one woman's decision to stop a little earlier than she would have liked.
    

    And why? Because breastfeeding has gained a little more awareness and a little more support?

    No sane person would demonize any mother for any valid choice...and bottle feeding is certainly a valid choice and occasionally a necessity.

    Her "evidence" that bottlefeeders are demonized is one nasty woman and some idiots on Amazon.  For every incident like this, surely another woman could point to an incident where an idiot walked past and hissed, "Do that in a bathroom" or "That kid has teeth, give him a steak" or a handful of ignorant columnists who ask, "Why can't you just pump if you plan to go out in public."
    

    However, the real telling part is the 17%.  If 83% of women are using at least some formula by six months' how can one possibly argue that it is the bottlefeeders who are in desperate need of more support?  They are the overwhelming majority.

    If one boy struggles with math, do we need a public campaign to strengthen support of boys in math?  Or should we look at the numbers that show it is usually girls who feel the pressure to stop enjoying and pursuing mathematics?
    

    And perhaps there is a breastfeeding pamphlet or poster in a doctor's office--or perhaps not.  At mine, there were stacks of coupons, pamphlets, stand alones, and posters about choosing the right formula--and not a single one about breastfeeding.  Anecdotal, of course, but logic would assume that given the relative difference in financing, most offices, especially those in poorer neighborhoods, would have more information about formula.

    And don't forget the free samples passed out (along with pamphlets and coupons) to every new mother.

    Not to mention the fact that this support for breastfeeding has to overcome the stigmatizing of bfeeding that has occurred over the last generation or two.

    And seriously, is mismanagement any worse than "heart defect" or "uterine incompetence"...both of which I was lucky enough to hear within 48 hours of giving birth.  Medical speak is very insensitive and clinical--a problem hardly confined to women who have difficulty breastfeeding.
    

    I still believe that while each individual woman's choice should be treated with respect and all mothers should be supported...but that as a society, our goal should be to increase the general frequency of breastfeeding.
    

    Her last quote is perfect:
    
    "How about this? Let's agree that breastfeeding is ideal. Let's agree that public policies and workplaces should support it better. But let's also acknowledge that bottle-feeding moms need encouragement too. Cruelty helps no one — not babies, not moms. Imagine if we took half the energy we spend sniping at the formula crowd and turned it, instead, toward making it easier for women who breastfeed to keep their jobs, and for women who formula-feed to keep their dignity."

    But it could easily be turned around--all mothers get sniped at for their parenting decisions...and she shows zero evidence that bottlefeeding or formula feeding women are sniped at more.  And everything I have seen, read, heard, and experienced argues the opposite--it is breastfeeding that has been under siege and the few examples of nastiness a couple of bottle feeding women in well-to-do areas (which have more than their fair share of Bfeeding advocates) have experienced are really the exception, not a rule.

    posted by : Cali on 7/5/2007 at 9:55 AM Flag For Abuse

30. I'm a grandmother now, so my nursing days are long over, but I still remember the confusion and problems I had with my first baby. the biggest problem was that breastfeeding was just making a comeback in  1969 and everybody thought I was nuts to want to do it. Everybody but my mother and my godmother and her family. Oh, and my aunt Dorothy. 38 years later and really nothing has changed, mothers are still being harassed about what to do or not do with their babies. It's like a national pastime pushing guilt on mothers who really just need to be encouraged and helped to recover. All the arguing and pompous sermons about what breastfeeding is all about avoids one glaring fact. Up until the last century, all babies were breastfed, delivered naturally, unvaccinated and by God, most managed to survive just fine. Babies weren't taken away at birth and placed in nurseries with  dozens of other babies, they stayed with the mother and were nursed from first breath. They never gave the babies a chance to forget how to nurse. And babies do forget if they are not put to breast right away. The sooner the better. If the mother, for whatever reason, couldn't nurse another nursing woman was found and she nursed the baby. They didn't have a choice so they did what they had to do for a baby to survive. The majority of babies were delivered by other women, in towns, in villages, at home and if it happened, in a field. There wasn't all the intervention that we have, they didn't treat it as a disease, they just did what seemed right. They used what had worked for generations.

    And it must have worked, or none of us would be here now. I'm not saying it was a perfect world or way to do things but they must have been doing something right.

    We have forgotten, even our grandmothers had been part of the "modernization generation". It was a plan to capture the new market for baby formula. It was treated as low class, and ignorant to breastfeed. It was seen as degrading and reckless, almost negligent to nurse. If you couldn't see how much the baby was getting, how would you know he was being fed right? Even books on child rearing ignored breastfeeding and went straight to teaching how to sterilize bottles and prepare proper formulas. The great irony is that by the 1870's so many children were being fed milk from contaminated cows, and cows fed on the waste from whiskey distilleries. This milk was so poorly handled and of such poor quality that 50% of the kids were dying from drinking bad milk. What goes into the cow is as important as what comes out. That is why milk is pasteurized today. The irony is from a new law that is due to be passed allowing dairy farms to once again, use whisky waste to feed dairy cows. I wonder how long and how many deaths will it take before this generation realizes that whisky waste is unfit for making milk.   I can't imagine paying someone $900 to do what my godmother did for free! I can't imagine charging anyone to do teach someone to breastfeed, either! Wake up women, it is natural if you let it, if you follow your own instincts and trust your own judgement and stop looking for some expert with degrees to guide you. You can't be a parent if you are always unsure of what you are doing. I say, if the poorest people, the least educated people in this world can  successfully breastfeed, then we have overanalyzed, over reacted to something that is natural. It's out of fear that we make things so complicated and hard. Like any new skill it takes practice and patience. And breastfeeding is still an uphill fight against the baby formula business. Against nursing staff too busy to help a mother, against a society still run by men who make it hard for working mothers to pump in private. And doctors who are paid to push the formulas. And mainly against ignorance, even in those who supposedly should know better, but who got most of their experience from a book and a class. Personally, I decided from the beginning that I was going to breastfeed, I didn't buy any bottles, poured out the cans of formula I was given. I fought nursery nurses for the right to breastfeed, pitched a fit when they tried to bottle fed my baby on the sly. Had to confront my own grandmother who was doing everything she could to stop me. And yes I endured mastitis, breast swollen to bursting when I missed a feeding, leaking milk, and teething too. It was all a learning experience, a flying by the seat of your pants thing, all so my 4 kids wouldn't have allergies, or ear infections or compromised immune systems. It was worth it, I learned and what I learned I could pass on to other new mothers. There are two important things that women can do that men can't, have babies and nurse babies. God blesses all the women and babies unconditionally.      

    posted by : downriverdiva on 8/1/2007 at 11:59 PM Flag For Abuse

31. I am also a crunchy hippie inclined mom, who did not expect the issues I had with breastfeeding.  After the unplanned c-section, my milk supply never came in - and we ended up supplementing with formula.  I pumped all day all the time and took a lot of herbs and drugs, to get my supply up the point where I can do half and half. I could not have done that if my husband was not able to take off time from work.  I feel guilty about not breastfeeding exclusively, but the best thing that happened for my guilt was the lactation consultant in my pediatrician office saying to me" I think that there have always been many issues with breastfeeding, we are just seeing more of them now as more moms are trying to breastfeed again. The infant mortality rates before formula were really high" I don't know if that is true - but it did help with my guilt.
    

    posted by : ginam on 8/13/2007 at 2:57 PM Flag For Abuse

32. I couldn't agree more with your last statement. ALOT needs to be done when it comes to our society and the workplace supporting breastfeeding moms. Which is why yesterday I attended a rally at my state capital in support of a bill which would make it illegal for any employer to deny a woman the right to pump at work. Having that kind of legislation in place, in my opinion would give women alot more power in being able to negotiate where and when they would pump, as well as other issues related to motherhood.
    
    However, I disagree with many of the things mentioned in your article. True, formula-fed and breastfed infants are about the same in regards to IQ and maybe other factors account of why breastfed infants do better when it comes to a wide range of different things. Breastmilk however has other benefits. Breastfed infants are less likely to die in infancy, are less likely to develop cancer or leukemia, are less likely to be overweight as adults. Breastmilk also changes to meet a babies needs, where as formula remains constant, breastmilk does have all the anti-bodies a baby needs, even if after 2 months the infant does develop some sort of immune system, it's not fully developed until early childhood. The World Health Organization now says infants should breastfeed until the age of 2 and biologically we know from our fellow primates, infants should be breastfeeding until between the ages of 2 to 6 years of age.
    
    Formula has lots of problems. Some infants are allergic to both soy and milk formulas, both soy and milk are two things many people are allergic to. Formula contains preservatives which may not be good for an infants immune system, formula cans may leach BPA which has been associated with developmental delays. Bottles can also contain BPA that leach into formula. Formula companies also have a horrible ethics record. Infants die in third world countries every year because women are told formula is better then breastmilk, but these women do not have clean water to mix the formula with, cannot afford formula after the free samples are gone and breastmilk has dried up. Formula has been pushed on consumers in America and worldwide. In many countries formula is only available over the counter, but in the US formula companies create pro-formula websites which continue to fight against moms who want free formula bags filled with propaganda out of hospitals. The also lobbied against pro-breastfeeding adds that were to go nationwide and explain some of the benefits of formula. Even WIC, which does have breastfeeding support also has contracts with formula companies. Doctors and peditraicans are generally uneducated about common breastfeeding issues and how to deal with them. Even worse they wrongly assume when an infant has not gained weight or is not gaining enough it's the mothers fault. More often, these doctors are looking at infant growth charts based on formula-fed infants and fail to look at other factors such as allergic reactions, genetics and possible conditions that could prevent the infant from growing.
    
    I would also like to point out that children under the age of one do not self-wean. They go on nursing strikes, self-weaning does not occur until toddlerhood. Also I thought your comments about milk supply were interesting. I do believe some women like older women and ones who had c-sections may not be able to produce enough milk. But generally many moms wrongly assume they aren't making enough milk because they are uneducated about what is normal when it comes to breastfeeding. Babies breastfeeding for hours at a time is normal, infants waking during the night to breastfeed is normal, infants wanting to switch between breasts is normal, infants not gaining more then one pound or so a month is normal.
    
    I've been breastfeeding my daughter for 10 months. I went through some problems, though granted I never had any issues with my nipples bleeding. I did have a clogged milk duct, I did have issues pumping at work. I got over alot of them by finding support and advice online. I don't believe anyone should feel guilty for not breastfeeding. It is a battle, or at least it has been for me, against both society, my daughter's peditraicans, my job, my boyfriends mother. But for pregnant women, I think having the right information and support, will encourage them to breastfeed and keep them going when they run into problems.
    

    posted by : dhsredhead on 10/3/2007 at 1:37 PM Flag For Abuse

33. Oooh, breastfeeding... you nearly killed me. I was pumping blood clots instead of milk a few weeks after my son was born; fortunately, he'd needed supplemental formula feedings in the hospital, anyway (he was on an IV, and then it took 4 days for my milk to come in), so he was used to bottle AND breast. Good thing, too, that my mom was there to buy a little formula while I healed (and pumped)- we sure couldn't afford it. After that, it was great... except for the blocked ducts and continuing, occasional soreness. I would probably have switched to part-breast, part-formula or strictly bottle feeding if we'd had the money... but breastfeeding it was. You can see why I don't judge moms who choose formula, though!   Incedentally, my son has a little friend who was born a few weeks ahead of him, and was only breastfed for a month or so; she's the most developmentally advanced kid I've ever met. I don't think it hurt her any.

    posted by : AllisonWonder on 10/25/2007 at 3:59 PM Flag For Abuse

34. So during the first year of life baby needs either breastmilk or formula for nutrition.  By six months, only 25% of moms are still breastfeeding.  There is simply not enough education, awareness, and cultural acceptance of breastfeeding to allow moms to succeed.  Meanwhile, the billion dollar formula industry is right there with free samples and coupons.
    Breastfeeding has not been easy for me, nor has it been for my sister.  And it's been damn hard for many many women that I know.  Yet we have persevered because we have read the staggering evidence (carefully left out of this article) that shows that breastmilk is better for baby. 
    So please, breastfeeding is overrated and over-supported?  Formula is "just like" breastmilk?  It's not.  We have to be so careful so as not to "make a formula feeding mom feel guilty" that we say "breast is best," breastmilk is better," breastfeeding reduces the risk of ..."  But really, formula is inferior, and formula increases the risk of many illnesses.  It's like comparing orange juice and sunny D - they both have a similar nutrition profile, so Sunny D is just as good, right? 
    And because breastfeeding is difficult we should all go to formula?  I'm a paramedic and ER nurse, and still exclusively breastfeed.  I pump in the back of my rig, and in hospital bathrooms.  Not ideal, but worth it.  How about improving the working conditions for parents, rather than just wimping out and saying "it's too hard?" 
    "Mismanagement" seems like a harsh term, but if we remove ourselves from the role of victim for a moment and think, it does not seem harsh.  Mothers are routinely fed myths about breastfeeding that sabotage them.  They are told that they need to supplement before their mature milk comes in; that if baby nurses frequently, they must supplement; that twins can't be breastfed; that baby has weaned when it's really a nursing strike, etc, etc.  These myths are ubiquitous, and if a mom is not armed with information, her milk supply will dwindle because of these untruths.
    And the impact of not breastfeeding goes outside of just the mom-baby couplet.  Let's say we decided one day to only use formula for the babies that actually need it - for medical reasons, mom truly wasn't making enough milk, etc.  The energy and waste produced from the production of formula, cans, bottles, etc. would be reduced - a significant environmental impact.  And what about the $60 million that the US government spends on formula for moms who simply don't want to try because "breastfeeding is gross."
    Really, there's enough misinformation out there that keeps moms from giving their babes the best nutrition possible, we don't need more.
    
    
    

    posted by : MamaT on 10/25/2007 at 5:12 PM Flag For Abuse

35. All this stuff about bottle feeding being bad for the environment?  Please!  Let me guess, you drive an SUV or a minivan.  Are you forgetting all the products that you buy from third world countries?  So many women who breastfeed try to drag others down with them or try to make you feel guilty.  Why?  Why do these women, who don't care about my son's first teeth or nap schedule, care so much about whether or not he is breastfed?  It is just so superficicial and pathetic.  You don't deserve a prize for it, honey!  Get over it and mind your own business.  Now that you are a mother, isn't it time to stop passing judgment on people, or do you want to pass that trait onto your little darling? 

    posted by : lamama on 10/25/2007 at 9:04 PM Flag For Abuse

36. Well, I drive one of those fuel efficient 'mom cars' - no need for an suv or minivan here.  And I do look at clothing tags to see where the clothes are made before buying.  Thanks for the inquiry.  I tend to find that the level of personal insults flung is indirectly proportional to the facts used to support an argument. 
    You can feed your child whatever you want.  Formula feeders are in the vast majority, and the majority of the reason is not because moms tried and were unable.  It's the formula industry whose only interest is in making money, it's the barriers both in work and social life that prevent women from breastfeeding, and it's the vast amount of misinformation out there. 
    I'm not asking for a prize for breastfeeding.  I do it because I want to give my kids the best start possible, give them every opportunity I can.  I very much believe in prevention of disease and illness, and that starts with good nutrition, which starts with breastfeeding.
    And the guilt?  I don't buy it.  As much as the above post was supposed to insult and degrade me, it didn't.  There was no reason or factual evidence to cause an emotional sway, and I stand firm in my decisions and statements. Guilt is your own thing.
    
    
    
    

    posted by : MamaT on 10/25/2007 at 11:58 PM Flag For Abuse

37. I've noticed that guilty formula feeding moms always have an excuse (I can't, it hurts, I was formula fed) for why they formula feed. To me, this is one long excuse. She didn't even do thorough research, so ontop of being a big long excuse, its not even backed up by facts. Oh, she asked one doctor their opinion and they said, well some people this and some people that. The point of this article can be compared to smoking. A few people say, hey I've smoked since I was 16 and I never got lung cancer, so then all the guilty smokers say well there you go strong evidence.   The thing about breast feeding moms being rich was too funny. My parents struggled up until I was 14 and my mom breastfed all of her children. The only reason poor people formula feed their children is because most can get it free from WIC. She says that smart moms are more likely to breastfeed than formula feed and its all because they're rich. Well I was dirt poor through most of my education and when I wasn't I still went to public school and look at me now. I'm breastfeeding and all. The reason why smart moms breastfeed is because they know better and do research and don't just say random stuff because one or two doctors said so. Formula feeding is the easy way out. You do it because you would rather have more time to yourself. I had problems breastfeeding but I stuck through it and didn't complain at all.   Just because one or two doctors say that there is no difference doesn't mean there isn't. All you people who were formula fed or are formula feeding probably have on of the following problems: stomach issues, acid reflux, lower IQ, recurring colds and or flus, colic, baby constantly spitting up or throwing up, baby with sleep issues, SIDS, weight issues, etc. etc. Please find a list of problems you get as a result of breastfeeding. EXACTLY! You can't. Breast is the best no matter how many things you add to formula that "may" have a similar result. People are so anti formula because why would you want to see a poor baby suffer as a result of something that can easily be fixed. Why is it always pro mom's choice and not pro baby's choice? Aren't you taking that right and privilege away from your baby? The right to be smarter and healthier.

    posted by : aerismama on 10/26/2007 at 11:42 AM Flag For Abuse

38. Ok, I was a little busy and didn't have time to finish my point about the uneducated thing.                 So ... People are only uneducated because they choose to be. Now before anyone goes off on a rant about "Oh, well what about people with learning disabilities, did they choose to be that way". You said it yourself, learning disabilities. They aren't uneducated in any way, they have learning disabilities which makes them unable to fully comprehend, remember, or process information. This in no way makes someone uneducated. An uneducated person is someone who was given all the tools they needed and chose not to use them.                   There are laws that require a child to go to school up until he or she is 18. Most children graducate from high school. What you choose to do with that education is what makes you intelligent or uneducated. Take for example Joe Schmo and John Doe. They both went to the same school their whole lives, had the same teachers, and even took the same classes. They both have parents with the same financial situation, and lets say for arguments sake the situation is that they're both poor. Now John Doe decides to further his educational career by finding financial aid, going to school part time, and working full time. Meanwhile, Joe Schmo decides to "screw" education and just jump head first in to "adulthood". Several years later John Doe is a successful businessman and the president of his company while Joe Schmo is working overtime at a factory and making ends meat. Thats not the end of it though, John Doe is on top of the world and can get any lady he wants and has multiple sex partners, some partners he doesn't even use protection. Joe Schmo found the love of his life and didn't have sex until they were married. John Doe dies of AIDS and Joe Schmo lives a happy fufilling life. So whose the one thats uneducated?                   Things like this happen all the time it doesn't matter what school you went to or what your upbringing was. Its how you choose to use your education. Have any of you formula feeders actually looked up information about formula feeding and breast feeding? Have you ever looked up the ingriedients of formula? Have you educated yourself in the matter whatsoever? Or did you just decide, oh its too hard to breastfeed I'll just pop this second rate substitute in my baby's mouth? The woman said it herself, people who formula feed are uneducated.

    posted by : aerismama on 10/26/2007 at 12:42 PM Flag For Abuse

39. This article is so full of misinformation. Makes me wonder if the author has been paid by Abbott Labs. Formula IS a product to be marketed, and sold, with tons of money to be made for shareholders. So there is obviously huge incentive for the formula companies to make women feel inadequate. Just like how cosmetics, plastic surgery, diet pills, etc. are marketed and sold. The author of this article clearly wants to stir shit up and be "bad". Fine. But at least give a balanced viewpoint. If formula feeding is medically indictated then maybe I can understand. But, even though anecdotal, every mom I know who has gone the formula route was because they said "it's just not my thing" or "I wasn't making enough milk" and they supplemented too early or "I just didn't feel like getting up at night." Typical Babble article. Maybe they are looking for advertising $$ from Enfamil...also look who wrote this --- someone who writes for Self magazine --- a rag whose modus is to make women feel insecure. Gross, gross, gross. Writing like this is bad news for women who have worked hard to reclaim breastfeeding as natural and right. At least only like four people read Babble. Otherwise, I'd be way more alarmed. PS. 9.5 months of nursing has made me 5 pounds skinnier than my pre-pregnancy weight. Cheers, happily breastfeeding in Chicago!

    posted by : lh on 10/29/2007 at 10:40 PM Flag For Abuse

40. Brava on the article! I was formula-fed as a baby... I turned out fine. Just like many of us, I'm sure! I chose to breastfeed, but it hasn't been easy. It's been really stressful, sometimes. I occasionally supplement with formula when I go out; I just don't like whipping out my breasts in public. That's just me- but boy, do I feel great when I see another mom BFing in public! :) I completely and totally disagree with KM who said (more or less) that the guilt over not BFing comes from "not doing the right thing." Statements like this are the most damaging to mothers everywhere who just can't do it, for one reason or another! What makes women feel guilty is the insistence of fools that every mother can and should do it, and that there's something wrong with a woman if she can't. We all strive for excellence, if not perfection, in our mothering- whether we realize it or not! When we can't give our child something, when we can't accomplish something we set out to do and then we're told we're failures, doesn't that bring up guilt? Give me a break. All moms are heroes and should be treated as such. We all make the best decisions we can. Every day.

    posted by : mommified on 12/14/2007 at 8:13 AM Flag For Abuse

41. I've got to say this article really gagged me.  Lots of people have lots of excuses as to why they CAN'T breastfeed...  I think it is more appropriate to say, why they WON'T breastfeed.  I know, I know, some women have major problems - mastitis, trouble latching, thrush, etc... - but I still feel like articles like this encourage women to give up and say "I tried, it didn't work for me.  No problem.  Let's use formula."  Breastfeeding is not the most obvious thing in the world....  but you work on it, give it time, and it becomes second nature.
    
    And, by the way.  I made the choice to power through.  2 month premature baby, had to pump and attempt difficult nursing for months, finally became wonderful.  Still nursing my precious 19 month old girl!
    
    

    posted by : elizabooth on 12/17/2007 at 1:51 PM Flag For Abuse

42. Ah, elizabooth. Let me explain something. An excuse is something you give when you want to be forgiven for something you were supposed to do but didn't. Excuses made to your boss when you're late for work, to a friend or partner when you forget their birthday, to collections agents when you've neglected to pay your student loans.
    
    Why should I need an excuse not to breastfeed, and who should I submit this excuse to? You? My mother? The baby herself? "Sorry you're allergic to strawberries, but I had mastitis." "It's Mommy's fault you're bad at math, she was molested as a child and has serious hangups about her breasts." "Sorry, commenter at babble.com, I just couldn't try as hard as you did."
     
    "You work on it, give it time, and it becomes second nature."
     
    I think that must be a grammatical error in your post. You must have meant to say "I worked on it, I gave it time, and it became second nature for me." There's no way you can possibly believe that the entire world can and should breastfeed because you still are.

    posted by : youngshay112 on 1/25/2008 at 3:45 PM Flag For Abuse

43. And why is it that we tell our kids not to submit to peer pressure in matters of behavior and fashion, but seriously fret over breast or bottle because we live in 'crunchy areas' or 'my sister never breastfed hers?'

    posted by : youngshay112 on 1/25/2008 at 3:46 PM Flag For Abuse

44. youngshay: because we continue to be our own worst enemies.
    
    Every mother knows what's right for her. For me, breastfeeding and co-sleeping would've been a nightmare. For our family, formula allowed maximum closeness for all members while normal, regular sleeptimes (which my daughter thankfully went along with happily) allowed maximum sanity. Don't let carpers talk you out of doing what you know is right for you.

    posted by : ladyv on 2/5/2008 at 2:17 PM Flag For Abuse

45. More recent studies show a positive correlation between breast-feeding and intelligence - for 90% of babies, depending on whether they have a specific gene. The other 10% get no benefit. The benefit is 6-7 IQ points. The study was done in New Zealand and Britain.
    
    Regarding the statement in this article about intelligence of the parents:
    "The scientists ruled out several alternative explanations of the findings. For instance, normal- and low-birth-weight babies carrying the critical FADS2 gene displayed equal IQ hikes when breast-fed. The same held for children from wealthy and poor families, and for kids with high-IQ and low-IQ mothers."
    and
    "Adds psychologist Jeremy R. Gray of Yale University, "An IQ advantage of 6 to 7 points is unquestionably large enough to have a real-world impact on individuals.""
    
    See http://sciencenews.org/articles/20071110/fob1.asp

    posted by : jesup on 2/18/2008 at 10:40 PM Flag For Abuse

46. When my daughter was born, I was determined to breastfeed. I live in a rural area and had no support except my OB as the hospital doesn't even have a lactation consultant. I endured clogged milk ducts, bloody nipples and all the fun stuff that goes along with it. As I became severely anemic during pregnancy, my immune system compromised at an astounding rate. It's a pattern, I'm 23 weeks along with number 2 and it's the same thing over again so far. Anyway, I got a recurrent ear infection and finally took Zithromax after assurances that it wouldn't be harmful in my breast milk. Lo and behold, my daughter got a thrush infection from the antibiotic which then spread from her mouth to my breasts. I was told by all doctors involved to supplement her with formula and pump and throw away my milk until both our infections cleared. The trouble was with the my clogged ducts, the pump never really drained my breasts and my milk production started to slow. A few weeks later, another yeast infection for both of us and repeat process until finally no more milk. Cut to two years later, she still gets recurrent yeast infections, I've been told she will until her immune system is strong enough to keep it at bay. I tried but it just didn't work out. The stress of feeling inadequate paired with a little postpartum depression really altered the closeness and bond we had. If I hadn't keep going through and been able to just say okay, that's enough and went exclusively to formula I know we would've been better. This time, I'm intolerant of intolerance and will do whatever is best for me and my child to have the best and happiest relationship possible. Ultimately, it's much more important and beneficial as far as illness and IQ to have a happy, nurturing mother than anything.

    posted by : casey799 on 2/22/2008 at 3:32 AM Flag For Abuse

47. Again, I wanted to add a thank you for this article. i had totally planned on breast-feeding, though had not planned at all on day three of being told my baby was malnourished and i was starving him if i didn't supplement formula. They wouldn't discharge me until i agreed, and then followed days of poor feeding, engorgement, under supply, mastitis, and extreme pain. I couldn't cope with it even after a natural birth.
    
    Its fine to promote breast-feeding, but where is the information that informs a prospective mother of the hardships, the hurdles and, finally, the support? With no prior experience (even from my mother, who bottle fed me), I naively believed it would be a natural process - and it was until the hospital interfered, blasting away any confidence i had in my abilities to feed my own child. Once paranoia over every scream kicked in, comfort was found in turning to the bottle (for him, not me!) and knowing I could see how much he had eaten. That caused problems with my supply, made him hungrier, and by the time mastitis set in, we were in a vicious circle. It was heart wrenching to feed through the pain for 20 mins, offer a bottle and watch the whole lot disappear. Finally, i thought it was obvious what he preferred, and gave in. I've ben plagued by guilt ever since. Possibly if I had been aware of prospective problems i might have been more prepared. As it was, my new-mum status left me feeling alone and bewildered.
    
    I can see the need to push breast-feeding, but we need good education programs, not just the benefits.

    posted by : wiley on 2/22/2008 at 10:08 PM Flag For Abuse

48. Wow, this article is total trash. Way to go, enabling the moms too selfish to do what's best for their babies. Now tell them to go smoke a cigarette and put some pop in their baby's bottle, because that's the same load as what you've written here.

    posted by : X for truth on 2/27/2008 at 3:45 PM Flag For Abuse

49. I just want to point out that a lot of this heavy pushing by lactivists can turn women off of breastfeeding, even if that's what they were originally intending to do. I have some breast hangups but I plan to pump exclusively so that my son will get breast milk. When I read some of these angry rants equating formula feeding to smoking and bashing the article, though, it makes me reconsider formula feeding. If one of the side effects of breast feeding is developing a sense of self-righteousness that makes me feel justified in judging the decisions made by other people and finding them lacking if they don't do what I did, it makes me question whether it's worth the benefits.
    
    I know plenty of women who breastfeed babies and refrain from being harsh and unsisterly, though, so maybe there's some other correlation... Perhaps more studies need to be done on the lactation nazi mentality.

    posted by : Daisy Duck on 3/7/2008 at 10:46 AM Flag For Abuse

50. Yes, the lactation nazis seemed to have hijacked the thread. All of them always go back to saying that anyone who doesn't 100% agree with them doesn't agree that Breast is Best. Nowhere does that article suggest that breast ISN'T best, just that formula feeding isn't the end of the world. Yes, there are examples of women such as the ER nurse/paramedic who can pump despite all on their job, but just because that is your choice doesn't mean that that makes your choice better than someone else's to feed formula.
    
    I do agree that breast is best. I do believe that formula company's aggressive marketing tactics, especially in other countries are amoral. However, so is cigarette marketing; or birth control. However, I like to believe that modern progress means we have better means to make choices. Yes, just because my friend's grandmother had to wet nurse her sister's baby when her sister became very ill, doesn't make it a feel-good story. She had to. She had NO choice.
    
    The ground that's being fought here isn't whether to breastfeed or not. It's that if you don't, somehow you're a bad person. Way more than bf will go into nurturing a child to well-adjusted adulthood. A whole generation of kids got fed formula (and not even today's modern formula) and I don't see a lag in IQ points for that generation... in fact, it was just in 1992, that the American Academy of Pediatricians announced that whole cow's milk should NOT be given to infants under 1.
    
    I did breastfeed my daughter until 6 months - struggled the whole time with it, as many others did; no support, lactation consultants, doctors...and had to supplement as her needs outstripped my ability to supply. yes, i pumped after every session, and in the end, i became a horrible cranky person who did feel like throwing the baby across the room in frustration. and that is not the kind of mom i wanted to be. i supplemented, then switched to formula, and dear baby girl is still thriving along the same growth curve as she was before. she is according to milestones charts and interactions in playgroups ahead of the curve - it's probably all genetics, but hey, she's thriving. and i don't feel guilty. she spends lots of quality time with dad and other caregivers who can feed her as well as i; though she still is obviously very bonded to me and sometimes won't want to take a bottle from others, but i'm not chained to a pump, and that is my choice.

    posted by : modegirl on 3/13/2008 at 10:20 PM Flag For Abuse

51. I'm sure it matters to no one in particular, but I am one mother proudly formula-feeding my six-month old son. Why am I proud? Not because I made a choice to do so. No, I am proud because my son is ALIVE!! I am proud because every morning, I get to enjoy one more day with my son. You see, my son had a heart transplant at seven days old. He was on life support for the first week and hospitalized for a month after that. He never had milk of any kind touch his lips until he was over a month old. When he did, it was formula at four times the regular caloric value to help him grow and gain weight. At the advice of every one of his surgeons, doctors, and nurses, I did not pump during the excrutiating time where we were waiting to be able to even hold him. Being at his side every minute in the ICU was more important to me than leaving him to pump breastmilk that I wasn't sure he'd live to eat. In his case, it doesn't really matter that he didn't get the precious antibodies my breastmilk would have given him because we suppress his immune system every day to prevent rejection of his beautiful new heart. Today he is the happiest baby in the world and doing well. He loves me with everything he has and doesn't care that he's drinking from a bottle.
    
    Yes, my situation is unique, and I am lucky that I have never once been subjected to any criticism (at least to my face) that my son is bottle-fed. Those who demean moms of either practice should take a moment to step off their soapboxes long enough to realize that they don't know everything about everyone. No one should presume facts or judge another based on the way she is feeding her child. It is not your place to impose your view on another. It seems many responders here failed to realize that the author of this article breastfed her children. She did not write it as a justification for her actions or for others. An interesting political reason not mentioned in this article for the government's backing of breastmilk: the federal-backed public service campaign for breastfeeding started because the government discerned it was spending too many welfare dollars on formula. It had nothing to do with health benefits originally, and there's legislative history to prove this if one cares to do the research. As with all things in government, it started with dollar signs.
    
    I happen to be a formula-baby myself. I have a doctorate degree, am perfectly healthy, and have a great relationship with my mother. For every other person like me, there is an equally successful, healthy, well-adjusted breastfed-baby. Until someone has scientific proof that a person who was breastfed is better than I am based on breastmilk alone, I cannot see wasting another minute dwelling on the subject. We all have our trials in life, and we shouldn't be made to feel guilty (or expected to feel guilty for that matter) simply because of how our children are fed. I will continue to feed my son his formula and enjoy every minute I have been blessed to have with him. There are too few of them to worry about something like that.

    posted by : transplantmom on 4/2/2008 at 6:40 PM Flag For Abuse

52. Why is it that moms seem to attack each other for a variety of reasons, breast vs. bottle, work vs. stay-at-home, homeschool vs. public/ private school? Lighten up and support your fellow moms, whatever their decision. Maybe if we just support each other then the bickering and finger pointing would just stop.
    
    By the way, I formula fed both my babies. Neither one EVER latched on to me well and they even had a very hard time latching on to a bottle nipple. My pediatric nurse mother and a lactation consultant worked with me on both kids and it just didn't work. We tried pumping, nipple shields, etc. I had such horrid guilt with my first and at my 6 week follow up my gyn told me that my baby needed a mother not a martyr. I vowed to enjoy my time with my baby and stop beating myself up for giving her formula. I encourage my fellow moms however they choose to feed their babies because frankly, it's none of my business! Let's encourage and support each other and stop being so angry about this issue.

    posted by : tcm56 on 4/21/2008 at 8:33 PM Flag For Abuse

53. I am sick to death of the self-righteous breast-is-best nazis! Like hell it makes a damn difference in how a person turns out. My brother and I (who are 34 and 35 years old respectively) were both formula-fed and we are two of the healthiest people I know of. We rarely get sick, have absolutely no allergies to anything, and seem to be reasonably intelligent people. My mother's best friend also formula-fed her two children; one is graduating from college and about to enter med school, and the younger one just had his IQ tested and is literally a genius! I realize that four examples do not prove or disprove a study, but when combined with all the other commentors with similar examples, I think it is fair to say that we need to lighten up!
    Why can't we all be grateful that we live in a time where we have CHOICES! That is something to celebrate, not malign!!!! And for the record, I breastfed both my children. I did not admit that to validate anyone else's agenda or even my own. I just believe that EITHER way is ok, so long as baby is nourished and Momma is happy!

    posted by : mommashay on 5/7/2008 at 1:27 AM Flag For Abuse

54. For anyone reading this thread looking for the answer "Do I breastfeed or bottlefeed?", just do what works for you. If you try breastfeeding, really try, and it doesn't work, try formula. Some women are not able to breastfeed, some babies have allergies, some women are unable to pump at work. I am in law enforcement. I'm sure that thug would stop running from me if I explained that it was time for me to pump. I started out trying to breasfeed, but my milk never came in well. I had an emergency c-section, didn't get to see my baby for several hours, then I was on painkillers. The lactation consultant told me to pump and dump. My baby had colic. I was disappointed. I suffered post-partum depression. The OB put me on anti-depressants. I "nursed" my baby for about 12 weeks. That is, we cuddled with my nipple in his mouth, then I gave him a bottle of Alimentum. It worked for us. We bonded just fine. Nobody ever said anything to me about my choice. I don't judge people as parents based on their decision regarding breast/bottle. My sister breastfed her 2 kids, I couldn't. We both have beautiful, healthy, highly intelligent children with whom we have great relationships. To those on the fence: Do what works for you and your baby, and tell those "well-meaning" proponents of either side that you thank them for their concern but to please mind their own business. No mother should have to justify her choice in how to feed her baby.
    
    By the way, these much-touted benefits of breast-feeding are explored at http://stats.org/stories/2006/breast_feed_nyt_jun_20_06.htm for those who are interested in the science behind the campaign. And before you judge me, I agree breastfeeding is best for babies and mothers in most cases, but for those who can't or choose not to, the rest of us as parents have no right to be judgemental of their choice. We should support each other, because being a parent is hard enough without all of the in-fighting. Lets leave that to the politicians! ;)

    posted by : WhatsRightforMe on 5/15/2008 at 2:19 AM Flag For Abuse

55. wow some people really need to get a life. I am not a mom, but I was breastfed for 2 years as a baby. I grew up to have asthma, allergies, and eczema. It obviously didn't help me! I think this article is very well balanced. I am a soon to be doctor, and I have always thought the hysteria about breast feeding was ridiculous. Millions of babies have been bottle fed over the years, and it has saved many lives. We all know that breast is best, but if you will be a happier mother by bottle feeding, so be it. There is no sense torturing yourself (or other people) about it. There is also something to be said for being able to share feeding responsibilities with your partner! Everybody take a deep breath and RELAX!

    posted by : medstudent on 5/15/2008 at 7:30 PM Flag For Abuse

56. My baby girl is two months now. Believe it or not, I just don't have enough milk for her since day1! I tried to breast feed 100% for the first two weeks, and my baby was constantly crying because she did not get enough milk! After that, I started to give her formula and she is growing well and happy. All I want to say is that as long as baby is growing well and healthy, that is most important. Whether breasfeed or formula should not be the most important issue. I was a formula fed baby myself, and I grew up just fine (I have a master degree and never had problem in school..I assumed my IQ is not lower than those breast fed babies). I really feel annoyed when those breastfeeding moms give me the "look" when I told them I feed my baby formula. I want to tell all of them that I am just as loving and caring (if not more) as those breast feed mothers! I spend 100% of my time w my baby and do whatever I can to take care of her. On the other hand, I know some breast feed mothers who don't devote as much time to their babies and go out parties a lot ..and are they still better mommies than I am just because they breastfeed their babies?!

    posted by : nataliemama on 5/17/2008 at 2:59 AM Flag For Abuse

57. I'll never be convinced that formula is just as good as breastmilk, or even nearly as good. Breastmilk is a complex, LIVING fluid that is PERFECTLY designed by NATURE to nourish your child. Adding DHA and ARA to formula and saying "now it's more like breastmilk" is like turning down an oven by 200 degrees and saying "now it's more like a refrigerator". It doesn't even compare.
    
    Those who were formula fed, just because your health is slightly better than average, doesn't mean it even comes close to being as good as it COULD be, considering the average state of health in our country is very sick.
    
    I haven't read one mother here mentioning seeking out La Leche League for help. You can get just as good help (and sometimes better) as with an LC for FREE. Not only help but SUPPORT, which makes all the difference.
    
    I realize LLL has acquired a bad reputation in some circles, but please keep in mind that each and every LLL group is different and every LLL leader is different. Please don't condemn an international organization because the personality or style of the leader or group you experienced didn't match your own.
    
    And by the way, referring to anyone who stands up for what they believe as a "Nazi" is beyond offensive, it's unforgiveable. I can't think of any other situation where that kind of language would be condoned. Please leave that term out of the debate. It does not apply.

    posted by : nataliekat on 5/29/2008 at 2:12 PM Flag For Abuse

58. Just read a story on CNN about a study that shows tha tbreastfed infants are very deficient in Vit D unless they get supplements or lots of sunshine. So breast milk is not perfect. You need a little sunshine too. The kids with the highest deficiencies were urban babies 8-24 months old. At least formula has sufficient Vit D. I dont have to worry abou tmy kids getting rickets in the winter time.

    posted by : Cassie on 6/3/2008 at 3:56 PM Flag For Abuse

59. I am a single mom of an adopted daughter, so breastfeeding was never an option. I feel a little sad about not having had that opportunity, but I am absolutely 100% grateful that there are high quality formulas available to meet her needs. No, it is not the same as breast milk, but given the situation, it's the best I have to offer my daughter, in terms of nutritional needs.
    
    Now-- the "bonding" issue--- I'm a developmental psyschopathologist (someone who studies the development of emotional disorders in infants and children), and can confidently state that the credible research literature reflects the fact that secure attachments between parent and child (which fosters emotionally healthy development) is a reflection of a safe, consistently nurturing environment. It has nothing to do with whether or not the infant was suckling from a human breast or from a bottle. To gaze into your infants eyes, stroke her, and help her feel safe and secure when feeding is what's important-- not whether the nipple is attached to a human breast rather than a bottle.
    
    Some people are going to be judgemental, rushing to inaccurate conclusions, often as a result of ignorance. I encourage mothers-- whether breast-feeding or bottle feeding, to do the research, think about what's best for you and your family, and to stand tall and confident in your decision. Oh-- and to keep a sense of humor. This can help you cope better (let go of the anger more quickly) when someone makes a hurtful or judgemental comment about your parenting practices.
    
    Just my two cents...

    posted by : Lilismom on 6/11/2008 at 11:22 AM Flag For Abuse

60. I really wish people would learn the difference between anecdotal evidence and statistical probability.
    
    Breastmilk is not best, it's the biological norm. There are risks associated with formula feeding. If you chose to accept those risks that is your prerogative.

    posted by : bib on 6/12/2008 at 12:03 AM Flag For Abuse

61. Thank you for this article. There needs to be more of this balanced information about formula feeding on the web. The antibodies and probiotic flora found in breast milk can never be fully recapitulated in formula. However, our preemie-born son is now a thriving 5-month-old having been formula fed for most of his life. He had to fight for his life when he was born at 34-weeks gestation against necrotizing enterocolitis (a life-threatening gut infection). My wife eagerly pumped every three hours while our son's life was in the balance in the newborn intensive care. The stress was intense. But her production never increased beyond one ounce per pumping. Reading information on the web, we (I) prodded our doctors for Reglan -- a mind-numbing drug that is normally indicated for adult acid reflux -- but has variable results in improving production. No significant increase occurred in her production. Then reading the "good" Dr. Jack Newman's website -- we pushed to have our pediatrician prescribe domperidone -- a drug that insurers will not cover and has to be obtained at hard-to-find compounding pharmacies. This drug had absolutely no effect on increasing my wife's production. I encouraged my wife to continue pumping -- but she could only obtain an ounce total per 20 minute session every three hours. She also did "power-pumping" (60 minute interval pumping) -- as well as herbal "remedies"; you name it. Our son would not be released from the hospital without demonstrated weight gain. I am proud of my wife's effort to pump as much as she did under such pressure. Being heavily influenced by the unbalanced opinions of breast feeding proponents on the web, however, I also contributed to her pressure. This was completely unnecessary. Formulas are quite improved. Are son has made incredible progress in growth being solely formula-fed for three of his five months. Time wasted otherwise futilely pumping/attempting to breast feed has been spent playing games, engaging our son with books, songs and hugs. I think there would be more breast-feeding mothers if more time was spent into researching milk production and problems with milk production than throwing a "suck-it-up" attitude at struggling mothers.

    posted by : MilkDaddy on 6/14/2008 at 8:03 AM Flag For Abuse

62. I stumbled across this article while reading random parenting articles on the web. It could not have come at a more perfect time for me. My son is now 4+ weeks old after being born at 32 weeks because of my severe preeclampsia. He is doing incredibly well and is now at home with us. He, Dad and I endured a life-threatening illness, a failed induction, a c-section, post-partum hemorrhage requiring a transfusion of 4 units of blood, a 2 and 1/2 week stay in the NICU, and endless hours of pumping. I tried everything in my power to increase my milk supply from what amounted to less than a third of an ounce per session. I sought advice from friends and family who were successful, did endless internet searches, talked with fellow physicians (I am a family doctor), had multiple sessions with the lactation consultants, and tried multiple herbal and medication "galactagogues" to increase my supply. Even the lactation consultants admitted that the deck was stacked against our success. All of this while trying to prepare for an upcoming move, sell our house, search for a new job, & come up with financial alternatives since I had to stop working much earlier than planned and am the only breadwinner in our household. Like many other women who posted, the stress of breastfeeding (or trying to) with low supply and a child who can barely connect with a silicone nipple, much less a human one, was ruining my confidence as a new mother. I was crying several times a day. But the guilt of formula feeding was also causing me to cry several times a day. Not a great start, but we are rocking along better now.
    
    Would I prefer to be breastfeeding? Absolutely! Will I ever get over the guilt? Maybe. Will I continue to teach my own patients that breastfeeding is preferable? You bet. Will I also continue to support my moms who choose formula (whatever the reason), just like I did before? Of course.
    
    But I count my blessings every day to have a baby who lived, a supportive husband, friends who bring casseroles, family who love us. I can now add to that list -- fair-minded journalists who spread the word and kind, empathetic posters who understand that there is more to a mom than what she feeds her child. Thank you, thank you, thank you to each of you. Reading this goes a long way towards restoring my sanity. I'll save my energy for the other moments of "mommy-guilt" no doubt headed my way.

    posted by : blueeyes on 6/21/2008 at 4:12 AM Flag For Abuse

63. Thank you!
    
    My son was born IUGR at 31 weeks. He was about the size of a typical 27 weeker, and had all the feeding issues that this implies.
    
    I started pumping well, but 3 days after my son was born I was in a car accident. Ironically, we were rear ended while bringing the first bit of my true breast milk up to the hospital.
    
    After the accident I was only able to get minimal amounts of milk and had to pump nearly around the clock just to sustain my tiny son.
    
    He began developing a condition called NEC were his intestines were dying, and I was told that he could literally die if he received anything other than breast milk.
    
    I took Reglan, saw a lactation consultant daily, and did just about every crazy "increase your milk supply" thing on the internet. Nothing worked. I was able to somehow make enough for him to get through the NEC scare, but at 7 weeks when he was released from the hospital I would pump nothing but air.
    
    To make matters worse, the one time my son attempted to nurse directly from the breast, he tried to breath as he was swallowing and ended up turning blue and having to be suctioned. Talk about trauma.
    
    Anyways, even though all of his nurses and doctors and my doctors told me that it was OK that I couldn't breastfeed, I STILL felt guilty about it.
    
    Imagine how upsetting it was then, for random strangers to come up to me and tell me that I was a bad mother because I wasn't nursing my son. There are some situations where a mother can't nurse. I just wish that some of the Milk Militia folks understood.

    posted by : no milk mommy on 7/1/2008 at 2:55 PM Flag For Abuse

64. Oh yeah, I also wanted to add that very premature babies are given special formula in addition to breast milk because breast milk does not have enough calories to help them gain weight as quickly as they need to. Only if the baby develops intestinal issues do they give breast milk exclusively.

    posted by : no milk mommy on 7/1/2008 at 2:58 PM Flag For Abuse

65. What a wonderful article. I wish I'd had it to read 16 mos ago when I was wracked with guilt for not being able to provide "what is natural" to my baby! We stimulated. We used sugar water. We had a setup with tubes where we taped a tube to our fingers to supplement. I spent more time with a breat pump than I care to think about. I cried. We persevered and yet we never really got the hang of breastfeeding. My daughter was *always* supplemented with formula. Even after I went back to work, about 2.5 months after my daughter was born, we nursed in the evenings and I pumped. Around 5 months, she suddenly refused to nurse and would scream if we even tried. I decided I didn't get to see her enough to spend so much time in conflict. I pumped for another month and we were done.
    
    Still, I've had people say things to me like "she'd be healthier if you'd made it 9 months" and other miscellaneous crap like that. Overall she's incredibly healthy (seemingly healther, I'll hedge, than some friends' babies that breastfed exclusively). And I will tell you this much. I will try to breastfeed when I have another child, but if we do not do well with it, I will not waste those precious days of infancy struggling with something that I don't have to struggle with.
    
    Thanks agin for this wonderful article.

    posted by : Jesser on 7/3/2008 at 10:53 AM Flag For Abuse

66. Pretty good article, but really infuriating title.

    posted by : hijulie on 7/20/2008 at 12:44 PM Flag For Abuse

67. I had always planned to breastfeed. I grew up in one of those crunchy-granola households, hearing about how Nestle inappropriately pushes formula to third-world moms. (I still don't buy Nestle even now --it's just ingrained in my psyche.) My first daughter was born three weeks early and, perhaps due to that or perhaps to an unusually small jaw, had a lot of trouble latching. We saw the lactation consultant in the hospital, and once per week for several months afterwards. I tried the nipple shield, supplementing through a little tube attached to my breast, homeopathic dietary supplements to supposedly increase my milk supply, everything. My lactation consultant wanted me to try this regular (i.e. non-homeopathic) drug to increase my supply, called Domperidone, which I believe has been approved in Canada but not here, but neither my regular doctor nor my OB/GYN (both female) would approve it. They just told me to keep taking the herbal supplements which I was already doing. I pumped all the time, with very little result, even though it was a rented, hospital-grade double pump. I even took my daughter to a speech/language pathologist, to help her exercise her neck and jaw so that she could latch better (at $100 per hour, not covered by insurance). Every feeding was a huge guilty struggle. I felt like a complete failure. There was no loving bonding going on during those feeding sessions --just major performance anxiety!! I struggled along like this, doing all these things (and also supplementing) until 11 months, when I got pregnant again and decided to stop nursing (I had originally planned to keep up the struggle until she was one year old). Afterwards, I really wished that I had bottle fed, so that I could relax and enjoy my baby --so that I could watch her darling face and sing to her as I fed her a bottle, instead of just trying different positions, stressing, and crying. Now, I am absolutely NOT arguing that breast isn't best, if it works, or that moms shouldn't give it a good try. And I don't think anyone can say that I didn't make a good effort. But, I don't think that it is the be-all and end-all, especially if it is actually INTERFERING with the bonding issue! Formula is not as good as breast milk, but plenty of babies grow up on it just fine. After all, we DON'T live in the Third World with no clean water! I still wish I could have breast-fed, but my daughter is super-smart and very healthy (one ear infection ever, in 4 and 1/2 years). As for the historical issue, it really isn't true that in the old days everyone always nursed. Of course, there was no formula, but there have always been "wet nurses" for moms who had health issues or who simply didn't want to be always tied to the baby. (So, was another mom's breast milk, not their own, better for the baby than formula?) And, regarding that issue, I personally think it's better to have a child who is ABLE, at least occasionally, to accept a bottle. Even as a stay-at-home mom, with no timing issues, I still appreciated being able to have Dad sometimes do a middle-of-the-night feeding, and I don't think that wanting an occasional break made me a bad mom. It was also good for the daddy-daughter relationship. I agree with the people who say that the "breastfeeding is the only way to bond" dictum is insulting to daddies (remember them?) and adoptive parents. I think that the convenience of breastfeeding and not having to lug bottles everywhere is great, but I also would worry about being absolutely the ONLY available food source for my baby. What if I were in a car accident? What I really think is sad is how vitriolic people are on this issue. Moms should be working to help each other, not guilt-tripping each other. Personally, while I do agree that breast would be best, I also think that there are way more important things to worry about with our kids. (Drugs? Gun violence? TV?) And finally, the postscript to this: when my second daughter was born (one week early) I was able to nurse her just fine with no intervention at all. But I still used to let Daddy give her the occasional bottle.

    posted by : Kathy on 8/1/2008 at 6:00 PM Flag For Abuse

68. It is a proven statistic that only 5% of women CAN NOT breastfeed. I agree with the women who say that people are full of excuses. I can personally name at least ten women who say they can't breastfeed. Hmmmmm....really? Do I know THAT many women in the 5%? I don't think so. I think they just say they tried to breastfeed and they couldn't do it so that people won't judge them. They don't want to look like a bad Mom. Which who would want to look like a bad Mom? I'm a new Mom with a 15 week old son. I always intended on breastfeeding while I was pregnant, but never judged anyone who didn't choose to breastfeed. I was formula fed, my Mom was formula fed...didn't seem like a big deal. Now I am one of those "nazis" the other women talk about. It didn't go as easily as I thought it would either. I had mastitis, bloody nipples, clogged milk ducts...I continue to pump constantly...it is not easy! I complain about it on a daily basis. But you know what? I've done my research and I know it's the best thing for my baby. So I'm doing what I have to do to get through it. And for all those women complaining about pumping at work, I have to pump in the shower at work. I work at at golf club and that's the only place they have. It's not that fun, but it's what I have to do. The easy route would be to give up and go to formula, but I'm dedicated to doing the best thing for my son. Women did this for thousands of years...why are we complaining so much now?? It is by far the best thing to do. I have to ask why a woman wouldn't want to do the best thing for their baby? Because it hurts and it's time consuming? Get over it! Toughen up! At the same time I have to say- our communities need support!!!! I have called the 1-800 line to the hospital lactation consultants at least 6 times so far and used Milk Works numerous times as well...I couldn't get through it without their support. Especially with the clogged milk ducts. I do feel bad for those Moms who are trying their absolute hardest to breastfeed and don't have any support in their community. All I can say is just stick with it, keep going when it's hard. You will be glad you did and so proud of yourself for making the best choice for your child!

    posted by : Jamie on 8/7/2008 at 10:12 AM Flag For Abuse

69. yes, I went through the same guilt, stress, exhaustion, guilt vicious circle with my son. Finally after 6 weeks of craziness and few ounces each day of breast milk, we finally made the complete switchover to formula. The only people really supportive of me were my husband and a couple of my closest friends. Everyone else was directly or indirectly pointing out at how my child may not be as strong or bright as breast-fed kids.
    
    I have one question for all of them: does that mean that all the children who were breast-fed (before the invention of formula) were super healthy and bright? Don't other factors count in the final personality and IQ a child gets? their environment, exposure to learning, patience and love of their parents, the freedom to explore? good general nutrition?
    
    if breast-feeding was the answer to it all, then children in Asia, Africa and other parts of the world would be perfectly healthy and all of them brilliant! but that is not the case - their are healthy and unhealthy children everywhere in the world, have been through centuries. and the same for brilliance and intelligence. I doubt it has a lot to do with breast milk.
    
    and the study about how breastfed kids are smarter than those not breast-fed? What parameters would they use if such research was done in parts of the world where formula is not available, and people resort to other things such as cow milk, goat milk, or cornflour mixture? It seems to me that these studies are rather self-absorbed and ethnocentric - the western cultures obsessed with their own selves.

    posted by : anotherguiltriddenmom on 8/10/2008 at 12:10 AM Flag For Abuse

70. ooh, please spare us the sanctimonious attitude and assuming that moms are looking for excuses not to breastfeed. Do you have any clue what their lives are about? Nobody goes around telling you what to do with your child, so spare your lectures to others. You have no right to question what other moms are doing, or whether they are capable of doing what is best for their kids. How do you know they have not tried their best? How do you know what their workplace situation is? How do you know what their personal issues are? So much for
    
    what a narrow-minded, militant way of behaving! what happened to "live and let live"!?

    posted by : anotherguiltriddenmom on 8/10/2008 at 12:16 AM Flag For Abuse

71. In response to the above e-mail:
    1. How do I know that women aren't trying their hardest to breastfeed? Well look at the numbers! If 95% of women have been proven to be physically capable of breastfeeding and only 17% of women are breastfeeding their babies at 6 months....are you trying to tell me that the 78% disparity are women who tried their hardest and couldn't do it?? That doesn't add up. They CAN do it, they are just choosing not to. Which they have every right to make that choice. But instead of saying "I couldn't do it because of (insert excuse here)"- they need to just say "I don't want to do it because it hurts and it takes too much time (or whatever their reason is for choosing not to)". If you are going to make that choice, then stand by it and be proud of it! If you can't be proud of your choice and you are "guilt ridden" about it then maybe you are making the wrong choice.
    
    2.I don't know what their workplace situation is.
    True. But many states have legislation that makes employers allow women to pump at work. For the states that don't have laws protecting breastfeeding mothers, do they not get a lunch break in an 8 hour day? Do they not get any 15 minute breaks during the day? Funny how smokers always find a way to get smoke breaks in, but employers really won't work it out to let a mother pump? There may be some RARE instances that a woman truly is not allowed to pump at work. Even then, you can train your body to go long periods of time without pumping. And you have to admit these RARE situations are not making up the 78% disparity. I don't think 78% of women do not get a lunch break, don't get any breaks for that matter during the day/night, and have bosses who refuse to work something out. Again, it is just easier not to pump at work.
    
    3. It is true that a lot more goes into the health of a child than just breastfeeding. Nobody is arguing that! The fact of the matter is- breast milk is better for your baby than formula. Formula can not replicate what is found in breastmilk. You can't make antibodies in a lab. And breastmilk has the unique ability to change as your baby's needs change. No powder in a can can do that! And we all know about the allergies, asthma, IQ, childhood cancers, obesity etc. So if you know all of this and you still choose formula, aren't you making the wrong choice? As a parent you should want to do the best for your child and giving them formula is not the best. This may not be the "nice" thing to say, but it's the truth.
    
    4. Another issue that was not in the above e-mail, but has been a major excuse not to breastfeed is the whole "low supply" thing. Your quantity of milk is all about supply and demand, the more you do it the more you'll make. Did you know that the first African-American woman to have sextuplets BREASTFED all six of her babies? She pumped 30-40 bottles a day. Your body will meet the needs of your child/children. You can not convince me that if this was 100 years ago all of these women's children would die b/c they did not produce enough milk. Or that there were THAT many wet nurses. They would be forced to figure it out. But again, it is easier not to figure it out. Just give up and go to formula b/c it's easier. That is the attitude.
    
    Well that is not my attitude. It is hard! My goal was to go six months and I didn't even think I could do that b/c the first couple months were so awful. But now that I've gone almost four months and I still hate it- it makes me want to go a YEAR! I'm not going to let breastfeeding conquer me, I'm going to conquer breastfeeding! I'll be damned if I give up because it's hard. Like I said in the original e-mail, people need to toughen up.

    posted by : Jamie on 8/10/2008 at 11:36 AM Flag For Abuse

72. Thanks for a great article. I, too, planned on a natural childbirth; when caving in to a doctor's pressure landed me on Pit, then (9 hours later) an epi, then (5 hours later) an operating table for a C-section, I was devastated. I clung to breastfeeding as the only way to "regain my power" as a mother. Baby is now 7 months and healthy as a horse, but I've had periods over this time where the pressure, stress, and frustrations of boob-feeding made me feel like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
    Shame, shame, shame on the mama's here (and everywhere) spewing hate at women who couldn't, or chose not to, breast feed. I had strong support from my husband and a background that has made me, personally, tough as nails - if I didn't have that, I would be sterilizing bottles and perusing ingredients labels on formula cans, too.
    We are our own worst enemies, ladies. Please be kind to each other.

    posted by : Jennifer D on 9/5/2008 at 8:15 AM Flag For Abuse

73. What a refreshing article! Both sides of the coin stated so well!
    
    If you can/choose to breast feed that's great! If you choose not to, that's great too! My biggest issue with the "Breast Feeding Pressure Group/person" is the affect on mom. I've seen so many "beat" themselves up over their perceived failure @ breastfeeding and it's disturbing. How can feeling depressed, stressed & like you've gone to the "dark" side by using a bottle/formula be positive in any way? How dare you inflict catastrophic damage on your infant but it's ok to cause you, the mom, to have a nervous breakdown? Convoluted indeed.....
    
    I personally came in contact with a few of the intense pro-breastfeeding folks and was shocked at how they embraced rudeness and a glaring lack of sensitivity. Fortunately for me, their opinions/behaviors had zero impact on my ultimate decision not to breast feed. If anything, it solidifed my wanting nothing to do with any groups of people who felt such an approach was appropriate.
    
    My 3 1/2 non-breast fed daughter is a beautiful and intelligent child. She's been on antibiotics once in her life, never had an ear infection, no allergies, no asthma just a healthy & well adjusted kid. She also slept through the night @ 6 months old awaking with a smile and continues to do so till' this day! No bonding or security issues here either. Normal & wonderful :-) Point being your child isn't poisoned by formula nor damaged by the physical act of not breast feeding. Ultimately, only you know what is best for you, your baby & your family. A happy healthy mom and environment will create a happy healthy baby! Breast feeding or not good luck to all those new parents out there! What a wonderful adventure your about to embark upon!!
    
    TG

    posted by : GGMommy on 9/9/2008 at 8:55 PM Flag For Abuse

74. Jamie - it's so sad to see someone so lacking in education about the potential problems with breastfeeding - and then to see how that ignorance is used to spew your self-righteous rhetoric. As a fellow breastfeeding mother, I'm embarrassed for you. I suggest you go onto La Leche's or Kellymom's websites and learn about low milk supply. It is certainly NOT all about supply and demand. Various medical issues, such as PCOS, hypothyroidism, and diabetes can impact supply. Breast surgeries, such as mastectomies and reductions can also impact breastfeeding. The lactation consultation cited in the article (who has done considerable research in this area)indicated that we may be seeing more and more women with hormonal issues (like PCOS) who are unable to exlusively breastfeed because these women are able to conceive because of the science of fertility treatment, which was not around 100 years ago...so that "estimated" statistic of 5% of women being unable to breastfeed will likely continue to rise.
    
    The fact of the matter is that you know NOTHING about the health, work, and personal situations of women who formula feed. To assume every women chooses to do this because it is the "easy way out" is ridiculous. To tell women who are struggling with this incredibly personal issue to "toughen up" is odious and reprehensible. What do you get out of ridiculing other mothers? What need does it fill for you? Try to be honest and answer that for yourself - for the sake of your child. Because some day, your child is going to make a different choice/take a different path than your would make/take - for their own reasons - and if you behave the same way you are behaving on this board, you'll do irreparable damage to your child - and no amount of breastmilk will make up for that.

    posted by : PhD93 on 9/11/2008 at 6:47 PM Flag For Abuse

75. Also, it is a SUGGESTED ESTIMATE that 5% of all women have medical difficulties that interfere with breastfeeding. It is NOT a "proven fact." Do you think that every woman in the world has had her breasts studied by lactation consultants and thus it's a "proven fact." Do you know anything about statistics, research design, or tests and measurement? Seriously?

    posted by : PhD93 on 9/11/2008 at 6:58 PM Flag For Abuse

76. Well said PhD93. Thank you.

    posted by : 2cents on 9/17/2008 at 11:04 AM Flag For Abuse

77. Thank you PhD93!!! Jamie really doesn't have a clue!
    
    I suffered years of infertility caused by PCOS, and finally gave birth to a beautiful little girl. I didn't know that PCOS could cause supply problems, and things seemed to be going okay till we got home and I realized my precious girl wasn't getting enough milk. I cried and cried. I wanted everything to be perfect for her. Thankfully a volunteer lactation consultant came to my house (I am VERY lucky to live outside the USA, in a city where many pregnant western expatriates come to give birth - so we have volunteer doulas and LC's from America to help us!) She told me about domperidone - DH ran out and bought a year supply (of course, I didn't use it all...). Immediately I went onto a strict 2 hour feeding/pumping cycle to try to increase supply. It was exhausting. I was one of the LUCKY FEW with my condition who met with success, and I was able to exclusively BF until DD was 6 months (when she started solids). When she reached one year, I was very happy that she 'self weaned' - partly due to dwindling supply.
    I was so determined to get it 'just right', and I'm glad that I was able to BF for so long. I loved the special times that DD & I got to share. But when I look back at the stress that my determination put on my family, was it really worth it? DH wanted a chance to feed DD at least once a day, but I never let him - cause I was paranoid about nipple confusion. I would yell at my mum for giving DD the pumped breast milk instead of waking me at feeding time. There was a period of time that I became a crazed 'lactavist' in my own home. I really hope I can be more relaxed and sane when I have my next child!
    Let me just say again, I was VERY LUCKY to have success. Every bit of research I read told me I'd have problems. Even my LC was amazed when she saw me nursing DD at 9 months old.
    One of the big problems with parenting today is that we're all in each other's faces, judging each other's decisions. It's become a competition to see who can 'out-parent' the next guy. Why aren't we supporting each other?? One thing I appreciated in the first few weeks of learning motherhood was that my LC, a counselor and my neighbour were all available when I needed them. They did what they could to support my determination to Breastfeed my girl, but they also let me know it was okay to give formula if the supply ran out. They took the pressure off. They helped to lift the guilt and feeling of failure. They gave me permission do what was best for DD, and that is part of the reason I succeeded!!

    posted by : thaigirl on 9/19/2008 at 9:26 AM Flag For Abuse

78. I plan on breastfeeding, I know I could have to work at it, since I suffered with PCOS for years. I spent 4 years on Metformin, lost 100 pounds and my periods became normal. Then 3 years later I became pregnant!! I have severe asthma, so breastfeeding is very important, as it will lower the chance my son will have it.
    It is not that I think formula is "poison" I feel that the formula industry is a giant, for profit mess. Do they really care about out kids? I have trouble believing that. I wonder about most formula's being mostly sugar, and sugar related dis-orders are on the rise. (I mean corn syrup? or even worse, high fructose corn syrup?) The fact that WIC (who does great things, I am on WIC) seems to be 'in bed' with only certain formula companies is not right. They should make more brands available to WIC customers, not just the ones they get kick-backs from. That makes them, those formula companies de-facto government subsidized.
    I would never use Nestle formula. In the late 80's a large batch of Nestle formula cans were printed with the wrong instructions, causing the formula to be too thin. Instead of reprinting the patch, they donated it to third world countries and took a tax write off. Children died from malnutrition from formula that was mixed too thin when the wrong directions on those cans were followed. My father went through our home at the time and tossed everything nestle, and still won't buy their products.
    I am glad that some smaller, organic based companies have started making formula. They seem to have better ingredients, and less marketing pressures. (Earths best)
    I don't think any mother who bottle feeds is bad. I feel we all do the best we can. But we all should hold the companies who feed our children accountable, in every way. Do they really have to push their products in the hospitals, and have policies that undermind breastfeeding?

    posted by : maratama on 9/20/2008 at 3:47 AM Flag For Abuse

79. Formula isn't poison? Really? Tell that to the Chinese babies who got kidney stones from formula. And all the babies that drank formula contaminated with E. Coli and Salmonella. And the babies whose formula had glass in it. And the babies whose formula was made up with contaminated water during hurricane Katrina. Not to mention all the babies whose liquid formula is full of BPA from the can lining.
    
    Formula is a fourth-rate substitute for mother's milk, not its equivalent.
    
    All the women who tried to breastfeed and couldn't succeed, despite asking doctors, nurses and lactation consultants for help; all the women who were forced to stop nursing after returning to work because their workplace didn't provide facilities for private sanitary pumping; all the adoptive mothers and mothers with a hormonal imbalance who did not have access to donated human milk and were forced to feed their children formula shouldn't feel guilty. They should feel OUTRAGED. Furious, incensed, mad as fucking hell.

    posted by : aelial on 9/20/2008 at 11:03 AM Flag For Abuse

80. I guess you don't have to breast feed for the whole time your baby needs milk but does not the baby get important defences from germs and is more resistant to getting sick? I was breast-fed longer than most because of my defiant attitude towards anything that was not boozy and used up less sick days than many of my classmates. I also know from working at a rescue ranch that baby animals need less medication for allergies and such in the long run if the mom doesn't die and breast feeds.

    posted by : boozy on 9/21/2008 at 11:56 AM Flag For Abuse

81. i totally agree breastfeeding isn't all u need for ur child to succeed. I was formula-fed from 4 months, as my mom had mastitis, and my IQ is 143 so please don't hesitate to bottle feed if breastfeeding is a challenge rather than a pleasure

    posted by : DaintySplendor on 9/23/2008 at 12:39 PM Flag For Abuse

82. I had trouble breastfeeding my daughter until I saw a lacation consultant, and while I know of the many huge benefits, I know that it's not the right choice for everyone. Having pumped and used formula until I could nurse, I do not believe that those who formula-feed are lazy. If anything, I feel sorry for them, because there is so much more work involved. When my daughter is hungry, all I have to do is pull out a boob, and once it's covered up again my job is done, and I never have to remember to take it with me.

    posted by : Princess Ariel on 9/29/2008 at 1:33 AM Flag For Abuse

83. 15 years ago when my daughter was born, I went through the guilt of unsuccessful breast feeding. My daughter had trouble latching on. I tried every suggestion from LLL, old family friends, lactation consultants, but to no avail. Finally, worried about my baby losing weight, I suffered though time consuming chore of pumping and sterilizing. At the time, my husband was unemployed and 6 weeks off was all disability gave for pregnancy leave. It was painful to leave my child to return to work, and that separation was more difficult because I'd spent so much time struggling with breast feeding and then pumping and sterilizing, that I felt like I hadn't had enough time just holding her. I remember asking an old babysitter who was a now a nurse what people did in other places when a mother couldn't breast feed. She said that another woman will breast feed the child, milk is wrung into the child's mouth from a wash cloth or the child dies.
    
    When my second daughter was born, I was hoping for a quick "latcher", and a more successful breast feeding experience, but I also vowed that if it didn't work out, I wasn't going to "waste" precious time bonding with my baby to try all kids of man made gadgets just to give her breast milk.
    
    It seemed a shame to me that healthy feeding vs. breast feeding is stressed.
    
    Breast feeding is a wonderful option and I encourage all the young women I work with to take as much time off as they can possibly afford after childbirth. Breast feeding seems much more successful when you're looking even 5 or 6 months off, and you're returning to work after your child is on solid food, then it does at 6 weeks.
    
    I can just tell you that looking at returning to work in 6 weeks while struggling with breast feeding, was no picnic and both my child and I suffered. However, she didn't seem to suffer more colds, earaches, etc., etc. because she was only fed breast milk for 2 months, in fact, she didn't have a "cold" until she was a year old!
    
    Our "breast is best" militants should spend more time promoting policies that would allow more women to stay home longer after childbirth which would allow those who are having trouble more time to "hang in there."

    posted by : choices in infant feeding on 10/18/2008 at 8:07 PM Flag For Abuse

84. Right... All of these "I was formula fed and I turned out great" comments are the same thing as saying "I smoked throughout my pregnancy and my kids are all healthy" and "I drank like a fish and all my kids are going to college". There isn't a one-to-one effect here and posted something so simple-minded makes me wonder just what that formula feeding did to you.
    
    This is an awesome article but I think it's mis-titled. Breast is best but it requires a lot of support. We act as if having a child is the same as buying a house. Women need a lot more than just two months of unpaid leave after having a baby.

    posted by : Maia_Mom on 10/19/2008 at 9:08 PM Flag For Abuse

85. I always find it insanely offensive to have people say I should have breastfed my child. Like they know why I didn't or how it would have been harmful to her. Yeah get this breastfeeding of my daughter would have been harmful to her! I guess it's easy for some of these people to sit on their high horses and feel morally superior when all we who didn't breastfeed did was what was best for our children and ourselves. A happy mom is a happy baby. And guess what my child is further ahead (caught up developmentally after she was diagnosed with her disorder) than all of her friends that are her age. So I guess that formula wasn't all that bad after all. Plus other than her disorder which is genetic, she's never been sick in her 2 years now. Pretty good if you ask me. Why anyone cares what I did with my daughter in regards to feeding is beyond me. It's no one's business but my own.

    posted by : PamalaLauren on 10/19/2008 at 10:21 PM Flag For Abuse

86. Thank you! I've breastfed my daughter for 5 months so far, but I am very disturbed by the guilt mothers are made to feel for using formula. My pregnancy was tough, my natural childbirth literally mind-bendingly painful, and my nipples on fire for the first two months of breastfeeding --- looking back I think, "An occasional glass of wine, an epidural, and a few bottles of formula wouldn't have killed my daughter and probably would have made me a better, happier, more pleasant mother/wife!" Having/raising children is hard -- Mothers (and Fathers!) shouldn't be made to feel guilty for doing what they need to to survive it!

    posted by : mowashburn on 10/20/2008 at 11:10 AM Flag For Abuse

87. What a great article - if only I had heard these things when I was trying unsuccessfully to breast-feed my now 4-year old daughter. I've effectively set my guilt aside with this one!

    posted by : DT on 10/21/2008 at 5:15 PM Flag For Abuse

88. Some formula is okay, that's obvious.
    It may even be _I can't believe I'm saying this_ better in a few cases than mom's milk _like, on meds_
    __
    still,
    SOME formula is toxic _ SOME formula is like giving 5 bc pills per day to the baby.
    It's so bad, that it's even bad for adults
    resulting in more BREAST REDUCTIONS FOR MEN OVER 50 years old than any other surgery for that age group.
    AND
    breast reductions for boys TWELVE YEARS OLD____
    AND
    THYROID MEDICINE for women 17years old up to ? 57___ until the thyroid gets surgically removed___
    __
    all because of m.o.n.
    yes
    .s.a.n.t.o the worse polluter on earth in earths history.....
    _spelled out and separated to avoid some automatic search engines_censors_
    to
    see which formula is KNOWN to be bad, go to drs are dangerous dot com _spell out drs , and no spaces_...
    ..
    more than a BILLION DOLLARS A DAY is at stake(for the bad guys_, so tread lightly.....

    posted by : Truth_ Jeff if you must know on 10/26/2008 at 9:42 AM Flag For Abuse

89. You are correct GGMommy, there are "Various medical issues, such as PCOS, hypothyroidism, and diabetes" and "Breast surgeries, such as mastectomies and reductions that can also impact breastfeeding". And I feel terrible for those women who have a medical condition which prevents them from being able to breastfeed. That would be horrible to want to do the best thing for your child and not be able to.
    About the estimated 5% (of women who cannot breastfeed). That number is in SO much literature out there, I'm sorry if I took that percentage as fact. Perhaps it is 7% or even a whopping 10% that are physically not capable of breastfeeding. That still leaves 90% who CAN! I'm not talking about the women who can't. I'm talking about the huge majority of women who can, but choose not to. Their babies are missing out, while the corrupt formula companies are raking in millions (probably billions, please correct me on that number too while you're at it).
    And lastly, about all the women complaining about low supply. Let's just say they have a real issue that keeps them from producing enough milk. What is wrong with giving them all the breast milk you can and substituting the rest with formula? I sure don't know any women who do that...they just use "low supply" as an excuse to quit all together because they are tired of it and don't want to do it.

    posted by : Jamie2 on 10/28/2008 at 11:57 AM Flag For Abuse

90. Well to the couple of negative nancy's who posted comments against women who don't breastfeed (especially Jamie2), you all need to mind your own damn business. I had a C-section due to fetal distress, and my son didn't take to breastfeeding. He simply didn't like the taste of the nippel or the breastmilk. Are you telling me that I am suppose to FORCE an infant to breastfeed? Jamie2 you obviously aren't a true mother and havn't gone through anything traumatic in your life because your comments are downright ignorant. If a woman chooses not to breastfeed, who are YOU to say she is wrong for that? Since you don't know a woman's situation, mind your own business. If a woman wants to spend money on formula, it's her business. Go complain to those people who spend billions of dollars a year on porn and drugs and leave us formula feeding women alone. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    posted by : FormulaMom on 10/29/2008 at 3:59 AM Flag For Abuse

91. Perhaps before labeling the next formula feeding mommy as lazy, selfish, etc, you should consider that she may have tried everything she could to breastfeed, maybe she didn't have the resources she needed to be successful... there are so many factors.
    
    I had a breast reduction at the age of 17 and then found out four weeks later that I was pregnant with my oldest son. Being young, unprepared, and still recovering from the breast reduction I figured there was no way I could breastfeed and he was bottle fed from day 1. When dh and I decided to have a second baby 3.5 years later I had done more research and found that many women were successful with breastfeeding after a breat reduction, and I was bound to be one of them.
    
    I met with a lactation consultant before giving birth and she seemed optimistic. I left the hospital believing I could ebf with no problems, and then he began nursing non stop. No breaks, as soon as I would try to lay him down he would scream again. So I called the LC and she said to let him nurse for an hour, 30 min on each side, then offer a bottle. He was drinking so much formula even after nursing it was devestating. After a week I started pumping, he would nurse for an hour, then I would hand him off to someone else to give him a bottle of fomula so I could pump for another fourty minutes (getting maybe 1 ounce each time).... and it no time it was time to start over again. I took 16 fenugreek pills a day, among other herbals supplements, I fought with the Medela at breast supplementor so even though he was getting formula it was still coming from my breast in hopes of boosting my supply. I wanted to spend the last dollars we had on domperidone which I would have had to order from another country and hope it was okay (did I mention my husband was out of work and we were going through bankruptcy and a foreclosure that were unforseen when we decided to have another baby at the same time?)
    
    I went back to work at 8 weeks, and by 9 weeks I had dried up. Those nine weeks were miserable and guilt filled. The pain of nursing wasn't the problem, it was the pain of not being able to nurse that was. Reading that even though I tried so hard and gave so much to make nursing work I am still considered lazy and selfish by those who may have seen my infant drinking from a bottle is incredibly hurtful.

    posted by : momof2boys on 10/31/2008 at 5:44 PM Flag For Abuse

92. I had a C-section too FormulaMom...say whatever you want to justify it to yourself. Every pediatrician I've ever known has said breastfeeding is best, 99.9% of articles agree with that, same with the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization, EVEN the formula companies send out their literature with acknowledgement to breastmilk being better. The fact remains, when you know what is best for your baby AND you're capable of doing what's best for your baby, but you CHOOSE not to do it- that is wrong. Like I said, I'm not talking about the women who truly have a physical condition which prevents them from breastfeeding. I'm talking about the VAST majority of women who are capable, but choose not to b/c it is painful or inconvenient.

    posted by : jamie2 on 11/6/2008 at 8:29 PM Flag For Abuse

93. Jamie - just stop. Lactivism is about supporting breastfeeding mothers - about helping women who want to learn about breastfeeding and how to succeed with breastfeeding - about promoting the rights of women who breastfeed. It is about preventing formula companies from exploiting women in developing countries. It is about demanding better and safer formula. It is NOT about maligning formula feeding mothers. You don't get to define for the rest of the world what's "painful" or "inconvenient." No one has to prove to you that they "truly" have a physical condition that prevents them from breastfeeding. Just because breastfeeding worked for you, in your circumstances, does not mean it works for every mother. You spend a lot of time talking about the "vast majority of women." It's amazing you've had time to meet them all so that you can stridently assess and judge all their individual circumstances.
    
    Jumping on a message board to shame other mothers about the way they feed does not represent lactivism. It does suggest a personality disorder masquerading as lactivism. Do you realize how many children are not being fed AT ALL? Perhaps that's a way to channel your energy. Or go donate some breastmilk to a milk bank or to milkshare. In the meantime, take a long look in the mirror and figure out why so many people on this message board find your responses to be repugnant.

    posted by : Breastfeedingmomof3 on 11/7/2008 at 2:03 PM Flag For Abuse

94. All of this come back to a women's right to choose when it comes to her body.
    I think the reason so many breastfeeding activists are so militant is because it's only in recent years that breastfeeding has become acceptable again, and even so, if a women chooses to breastfeed a toddler in this country, she is looked down upon by many.
    My son is almost 2 years old, and still nursing, friends, family, and people I barely know are starting to question how much longer he will be nursing.
    
    I do think it is important to educate about the benefits of breastfeeding, and ways you can model breastfeeding while bottle feeding. It's important for a secure attachment to, (mom, dad, grandparent, nanny), that the baby be held close while bottle feeding, and that there is eye contact. I have seen infants set down with a bottle propped up so that they are in essence feeding themsleves without the love and nurturing of their caregiver.
    
    It's time that we work together instead of putting each other down for the choices we make for ourselvess and our families.

    posted by : mranzer on 11/17/2008 at 1:56 PM Flag For Abuse

95. i think the real issue is with mothers who have no reason to not try breastfeeding but just don't. no one should scorn someone who really tried and it just didn't work. thankfully we have formula which is almost as good and their kids will be okay. but i know a few full time mothers who just didn't even want to attempt it for selfish reasons like they wanted to go back to their insane routine of coffee, cigarettes and treadmill as soon as possible.
    
    for me breastfeeding was hard at first and i got plugged ducts with both kids but it ended up working out and i nursed both to a year. but my friends who tried it and had really taxing experiences like some of the commenters, it became obvious that it was time to move on. they felt bad about quitting, which is natural considering that breastfeeding is better but the point is, it is both okay to quit and okay to feel a little bad about it but not worth beating yourself up over.

    posted by : phillymom on 11/19/2008 at 10:42 AM Flag For Abuse

96. I can't say that I've ever had the chance to meet anyone who chose to formula feed for reasons like you mentioned and I'm honestly not sure
    why I haven't. I live in Philly,too. Of the moms I know, they either breastfed, mixed breast and formula feeding (often due to job-related issues and short maternity leave) or formula fed exclusively, due to medical issues and/or due to work-related issues. I can really imagine how crazy it must look that someone chooses not to breastfeed because of coffee, cigarettes, and working out. But I guess the reasons for not breastfeeding are legion - which is why, to me, those stories I hear about strangers walking up to women bottlefeeding and shaming those women about not breastfeeding make me cringe. You just never know what's in that bottle and you never know why the person is not breastfeeding. Equally, those stories about Victoria's Secret employees kicking a mom breastfeeding her child out of the dressing room or women telling other women they should be "ashamed of themselves" for breastfeeding in public, those stories make me want to scream too. Everyone has their reasons for whether they breast or bottlefeed. Why does it become a contest or an opportunity to put other women down?
    
    It just seems like comments on these kids of forums go one of a few ways. Articles like this seem to attract responses from two sets of women 1) women who had various troubles breastfeeding and 2) women who are advocates of breastfeeding. Then, things just seem to go to h*ll. The moms who had trouble write about all the things that went wrong and clearly are in a lot of emotional pain about it. Then, another group of moms picks those responses apart, like Monday morning quarterbacking, and tell the first group all the things they supposedly did wrong - as if they were there and actually really knew what happened. Then, when both the benefits of breastfeeding and all the very real and personal reasons for formula feeding are mentioned, everybody gets defensive. Occasionally, some idiot writes something ridiculous about how "breastfeeding is gross." (I always imagine that's got to be some 13-year-old boy whose home sick from school and trolling the internet - I guess it's scary to imagine otherwise - that an educated adult would think that) That's the pattern that I see and I just wonder why it has to be this way. What do we get out of talking to each other this way?
    
    Check out the NYT article titled why women stop breastfeeding. On page 9 of the comments, look at number 223. The poster (calling his/herself "Just an excuse" is responding to a previous poster 206, who had trouble breastfeeding while she had BREAST CANCER and stopped. It's honestly the most pathological response I've ever seen. How could someone think they're doing supporting breastfeeding by writing something like that?
    
    I really hope the original poster just posted about her experience and never went back to read the comments again. I cannot imagine how I would feel after reading what psychopath "Just an excuse" wrote. Women who are struggling with breastfeeding are doing so during the time they are most obviously at risk for postpartum depression. Do people really want to push some woman over the edge into killing herself or her baby after they shame her on the internet? When people are depressed, they believe the worst about themselves. They don't need help from individuals who like to abuse people anonymously on the internet.
    
    It's just awful to see how vitriolic it gets. Parenting is hard, no matter how you look at it. This is one issue, one choice. Some people will say breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for a child. Other people will say not physically or sexually abusing your children is the best thing you can do for your child. Other people will say the best thing you can do is to love your child. I'm sure we could go on and on with this list of "best things." So many things go into being a "good parent"

    posted by : Liamsmom on 11/20/2008 at 10:55 AM Flag For Abuse

97. Oh -Phillymom - I reread my post - and please, please know that, in no way was I suggesting anything you said was about putting other mothers down - I'm responding to the general tone of breastfeeding posts out there. I'm worried it might have come across that way. I just responded to you, specifically, about the fact that I have yet to meet a formula feeding mother around Philly who chose to formula feed for the kind of reasons you mentioned/the women you know. That's just me. Maybe it's because I don't get out much these days ;)

    posted by : Liamsmom on 11/20/2008 at 11:33 AM Flag For Abuse

98. liamsmom-- i wasn't offended. and, thankfully, i don't know many mothers who are like the ones i described. one is my cousin and one is my neighbor from childhood. both with eating disorders-- undiagnosed, but obvious if you see them and know their eating habits. both told me the reason they weren't nursing was because they didn't want to "eat healthily".
    
    but i didn't choose the name phillymom to imply that moms in philly are like that! most of the women i know here nursed or gave it a good try before quitting.

    posted by : phillymom on 11/23/2008 at 1:29 PM Flag For Abuse

99. I always thought depression was something that was not a serious issue, most of the people I knew that were depressed usually had good reason to be, so I figured it something people should "snap out of." I am very ashamed to admit that now.
    
    When I had my son four years ago, I fell into a total depression and it was like a feeling I had never experienced before, I felt utterly hopeless. I was unable to breastfeed, mostly because my totally illogical mind thought he was starving to death and needed to have formula. Thankfully, he is smart and loving and thin and healthy and it all worked out fine.
    
    I now have a six month old daughter that is exclusively breastfed. I had none of the depression issues this time and breastfeeding went very well. Now that I have had both experiences I could never judge someone who it didn't work out for. I can't believe the sanctimonious attitudes of some on here, I hope that your kids don't hear you talking like that to people, that's definitely not good for them!

    posted by : happymom on 11/25/2008 at 8:41 PM Flag For Abuse

100. I don't get the breastfeeding nazis, and there are enough in the comments section here. Why does anyone else care is a woman does or doesn't breast feed? I tried to breastfeed, but I barely lactated. But boy did I try. My son was starving because the La Lecha League activist who called my house daily kept badgering me to breast feed. I was a bad mother if I didn't breast feed. Did this woman care that my son was rapidly losing weight and my nipples were bleeding? Nope, because it was that important to her that a stranger follow her belief system, despite all evidence to the fact that it was dangerous advice.
     
     After having the pediatrician plead with me to formula feed my son, I started formula feeding him. The few people with the audacity to actually berate me in public got more than an earful regarding minding their own business. I'm not sure at what point it became proper etiquette to be condescending to a stranger in public and openly discuss her breasts - oh, wait, it never did.
     
     Ladies, seriously, mind your own business. Some people can't breast feed and some choose not to. You don't know the reasons and you don't have the right to ask. It's nice that you have your personal convictions, but please, keep them to yourself.

     posted by : KittyMom on 12/7/2008 at 5:54 PM Flag For Abuse

101. As a person who believes with all my heart in breastfeeding and works hard to help women who SEEK ME OUT FOR HELP, I take incredible offense to being compared to a Nazi.
     
     I'm going to say this again because it bothers me so much:
     
     "And by the way, referring to anyone who stands up for what they believe as a "Nazi" is beyond offensive, it's unforgiveable. I can't think of any other situation where that kind of language would be condoned. Please leave that term out of the debate. It does not apply."
     
     I wonder if anyone who knew Nazis or experienced treatment at their hands would think this was a worthy comparison.

     posted by : nataliekat on 12/11/2008 at 3:35 PM Flag For Abuse

102. The biggest problem I had with breastfeeding was the horrible advice and pushing from breastfeeding advocates. They have no idea how harmful their pushing is. They insist you wake a baby every 2-3 hours to feed...so I did it, against the advisement of my own mother and mother in law. And when you combine that with a newborn who has a strong ability to suck, it can be a problem. I ended up overproducing...which caused my son to clamp down to slow the flow. The clamping caused pain and raw nipples. The overproduction caused mastitis and fevers. And the constant pushing from breastfeeding advocates gave made the whole situation that much more stressful and hard to handle. They need to realize every woman is different and every baby is different...and just back off a little. In their crusade to banish formula, some of them are actually doing more harm than good.

     posted by : Little Mrs S on 12/12/2008 at 10:17 AM Flag For Abuse

103. Thanks for writing this article. A good friend of mine was more or less drummed out of a mommy group when her daughter was small because she bottle-fed. For the record, she desperately wanted lots of kids and just as desperately wanted to breast-feed. Getting pregnant was a long tough road for her (with one tiny casket along the way) and she was overjoyed to finally get her healthy little girl. However, she didn't produce enough milk to keep her daughter alive much less thriving. So she was forced to bottle-feed. Her mommy group made nasty little comments about how she was poisoning her daughter, didn't really care about her, didn't really want children and how she simply had not tried hard enough. When I heard how they had treated my kind, warm-hearted and brave friend I wanted to kick their superior butts. So yes, educate in appropriate ways, but breast is best does not mean Torture Non-Breast-Feeders. I saw a comment once where someone commented that in olden days if you couldn't breastfeed your child would die, and a die-hard breast-feeder said well, maybe your child should die then.

     posted by : mchaos on 12/27/2008 at 2:46 AM Flag For Abuse

104. I am not yet a mother (I hope to be one day) but to me, breast-feeding seems like such a personal, private decision. I hope that I'll be able to breast-feed but if I can't, or if circumstances lead me to choose not to, I certainly won't beat myself up over it. Women need to be more supportive of each other and realize that no one can do it all, let alone live up to other people's judgemental ideal of perfection.

     posted by : Amanda B on 12/29/2008 at 10:00 PM Flag For Abuse

105. How can the author possibly draw conclusions with regard to correlations between breastfeeding and class when nearly the entire third world breastfeeds exclusively? I saw one of the comments above refer to breastfeeding as a middle and upperclass luxury - excuse me? Not a lot of formula being handed out in Africa...

     posted by : bostonmomof3 on 12/31/2008 at 5:14 PM Flag For Abuse

106. It is true that in third world countries there is limited access to formula, but as they have a much higher infant mortality rate that isn't a helpful argument. The reason poorer people often use formula in the US is because they can't afford to take time off of work.
     http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_infant_mortality_rate_(2005)

     posted by : mchaos on 12/31/2008 at 6:36 PM Flag For Abuse

107. I remember shopping frugally at the supermarket when I was going to college, and seeing a trashy looking welfare mom "buying" a case of liquid formula with a WIC coupon. The cost of that single order of formula, billed to taxpayers, was nearly as much as I paid all year in state taxes that year.
     
     In order to get free formula, welfare recipients should have to have a doctor's letter saying their baby is failing to thrive by breast feeding and/or pumping through no fault of the mother. Those who are able to either breast feed or else pump and bottle feed with expressed milk need to do so.
     
     Nursing is better for the kid, and better for the taxpayers.

     posted by : Old Poor Richard on 12/31/2008 at 7:55 PM Flag For Abuse

108. First of all, I think it is interesting how different everyone's perceptions are about what society leans toward (breast or bottle.) Yes, we all hear that breast is best, but actually most people only think women should breastfeed while the baby is a newborn. Once it is older, they get grossed out. Seriously. I nursed for 13 months, and people's comments, although subtle, made it clear that was not the norm. So many friends of mine nurse for the first month and feel like a champion. Which is fine. I'm just saying that I don't think everyone is so pro-breastfeeding as this article claims.
     
     Being "obsessed" about exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months helped me not sabotage my milk supply by giving bottles of formula. It also helped me feel like I was working hard to do something good for my baby. I think if we are honest, we realize that everybody fights about every parenting decision just because we're trying to feel good about our own decisions. I am a very non-argumentative person, so I would never argue with someone who chose formula. (And I really don't think there is anything wrong with the decision. Just be honest about your reasoning, like your friend who is disgusted by the idea.) All I ever say is that for me, breastfeeding was a wonderful part of having a baby.
     It became part of who I was, and I look forward to nursing other babies in the future.

     posted by : Not a lactivist just a mama on 1/1/2009 at 1:17 PM Flag For Abuse

109. All I have to say after reading all of these posts is that you are all doing exactly what the article is telling you not to do! Don't judge someone else for whatever decision they make. My friends and I didn't make all of the same parenting decisions and still don't, but we are there for each other. I also have to say that I resent the fact that I am considered a SELFISH mother for choosing not to nurse my son. My fabulous, four year old that I would do anything for! I love my son more than anything in the world and don't think that you should judge me for my decisions. I don't have excuses, or guilt....I am just tired of people bashing me for the way I have chosen to be a mom!!!!!

     posted by : lovemyson on 1/1/2009 at 3:19 PM Flag For Abuse

110. Hip hip hooray for this article!
     I actualy have researched many of the "claims" that are made by the Breastfeeding Natzis (as I call them) Children who are adopted in the US for the past 5 decades have shown no difference in intelligence level, and many are leaders of large corporations. They were loved, cuddled, and doted on by the parents who adopted them, and that has been shown to be a better indication of both health and intelligence than being breastfed.
     Also, some babies lay too flatly when breastfed and actually have more ear infections than bottle fed babies who tend to be in a more sitting position. One of the first majorly funded studies stating that breastfeeding was best for the baby, was funded by the US govt. to encourage welfare moms to breastfeed because it would save the US govt. millions of dollars by not having to provide formula for those babies...you get what you pay for in most studies, and the US media influenced "upper income" moms to breastfeed, but it backfieed on the US govt. because the results were supposed to be publicized to welfare women, and higher intelligence women were supposed to continue formual feeding to keep the formula companies in business. And, if breastfeeding actually produced more intelligent children, how come the adults who were breastfed for the past 50 years in 3rd world countries, haven't figured out how to bring the GNP and standard of living up in thier own homelands?

     posted by : love is better than breastmilk on 1/3/2009 at 12:38 PM Flag For Abuse

111. Concerning BPA contaminates in baby formula bottles = BPA is in nearly every plastic container you use, including the baby food that comes in the rectangular box-shaped jars. The old glass jars with metal lids are being phased out by baby food manufacturers to the detriment of all children, whether breast or bottle fed. Its best to make your own baby food from fresh vegetables instead of feeding your child babyfood from the rectangular plastic "jars". Likewise, if you buy potato salad, chicken salad, soup, or any other product in a plastic container, you are subjecting your family to BPA. BPA is most dangerous if you heat the food in the plastic, so baby formula that is kept cold or mixed only with warm water does not pose the health risks of baby formula mixed with hot water or poured hot into a BPA bottle.

     posted by : keeping up on 1/3/2009 at 1:17 PM Flag For Abuse

112. Concerning the poster who mentioned that a woman had breast cancer while breastfeeding. There is a very common type of breast cancer that strikes women during or just after pregnancy because thier hormones (esp. estrogen) triggers the breast cancer to be VERY aggressive. The cancer is not widely publicised, but there is a Cnacer foundation specicially for Young Women, and if you read about thier stories, many discovered their cancer within a few months of delivery. One thinga ll new mom must do, is have breast exams, and your OB/GYN should do this at your 6 week check-up. Many women have pain during breastfeeding, and this needs to be brought up with your doc because if the cancer is shrugged off, or not discovered, it will be a very aggressive type of cancer that is highly lethal. This is why many women die of breast cancer before thier child is 3 years old. PLEASE, don't assume that breastfeeding keeps you from getting breast cancer, because Catholic nuns have been studied, and they have a low insidence of breast cancer, and they have never given birth, nor breastfed a baby.

     posted by : we need a cure on 1/3/2009 at 1:25 PM Flag For Abuse

113. I realize that most people don't understand the difference between anecdotal evidence and statistical evidence, but regardless, there are risks associated with formula as all major health organizations have repeatedly asserted. Formula feed at your own risk. And that's what it is: a risk. Not a guarantee, but a risk.

     posted by : good grief on 1/6/2009 at 1:34 AM Flag For Abuse

114. ATTN: Old Poor Richard on 12/31/2008 at 7:55 PM
     
     Sexist and elitist in one fell swoop -- you should be ashamed of yourself.

     posted by : Young Rich Wilma on 1/11/2009 at 2:54 AM Flag For Abuse

115. I nursed for 3 months and was happy enough to switch to formula. No coupons. No big company forcing me to do it. No propaganda. Of my own free volition I did it. It allowed my husband, my baby, my toddler and me to sleep longer. It allowed my husband to do a little bonding of his own at 3am (he insisted with our firstborn, and it worked well enough that we agreed to do it the second time around). I get so tired of the breastfeeding brigade patting themselves on the back. Let's all convene in 20 years and see how they did on the health front and on the bonding front!

     posted by : letvs on 1/21/2009 at 2:37 PM Flag For Abuse

116. I understand that some mom's can't get nursing to work, but the rest of you should buck up. Your child's health is at stake here. Are you the ones that feed your kids McDonald's every day because you just don't feel like going through the work of making a healthy meal. Grow up, be the adult and do what is best for your kid. It's not about you anymore!

     posted by : mom of 3 on 1/26/2009 at 11:41 PM Flag For Abuse

117. I can never bring myself to understand why some women are so obsessed over whether other women breastfeed or not. It's pathetic. If those types of women were truly happy with their own lives, and busy and fulfilled, they couldn't be bothered with it.

     posted by : Wondering Why on 1/29/2009 at 3:38 PM Flag For Abuse

118. Clarification: If they were truly happy with their own lives, and busy and fulfilled, they couldn't be bothered with obsessing over other women's lives.

     posted by : Wondering Why on 1/29/2009 at 3:40 PM Flag For Abuse

119. Hilarious. My wife couldn't breastfeed due to the medication she needed to combat her serious post-partum depression. I was bottlefed as a childhood due to my mother's medical reasons, I did very well in school my entire life, and eventually earned a Ph.D. and am a college professor, with a happy, healthy family. Long-term family support has been more important to my growth and development than the kind of milk I received in my first year of life.
     
     You women are your own worst enemies. Why are you doing this to each other?

     posted by : Daddy1998 on 1/31/2009 at 1:34 PM Flag For Abuse

120. Ladies - quit beating yourselves up.  LOTS of money is spent on developing baby formula.  It's fine.  Give the kid a bottle and have a glass of wine.  Better yet, get your husband to feed the kid and go out to dinner with your girlfriends like you used to.  We don't mind.  My 3 year-old helped me bottle-feed the baby last night.  It's nice that I got to bond with both the kids at feeding time too.  I half suspect that some of you breast-feeding wackos need it for your own sense of self-worth as opposed to any benefit to your kid.  And, yes, I will continue to ask you if you masturbate IN A LOUD VOICE when you ask my wife if she's breastfeeding.  None of your business.

     posted by : Toronto Tim on 2/19/2009 at 1:51 PM Flag For Abuse

121. lol to Toronto Tim and AMEN!
     
     I breastfed half the time and bottle fed the other half.  My son would take the breast or the bottle.  It didn't matter to him.  He was sleeping through the night by 2 months old, probably because his last bottle of the day was formula.  His first would be breast milk, though.  It gave us both a break.  I didn't much care for the feeling pumping gave me, though.  I really did feel like a cow.  Even the idea of the sound the milk made when it hit the bottles.  I used to have to pump with the TV on to distract me or that alone might have sent me into a depression.
     
     My problem was different than most here.  My family actually wanted me to formula-feed.  My mother, who should have been my ally in breast-feeding had never had milk herself.  I think she was secretly happy to think her daughter might not be able to breast feed either. My sister-in-law complained that she didn't start to bond with any of her 3 children until she stopped breast feeding.  It was that hard on her.  And my husband, who likes to be uber-dad and do all the things that many dads try to avoid, thought it would be great that he could let me sleep on the weekends and get up for feeding duty at 2 in the morning.  God bless him, I did get a wonderful husband and father.  But through all this, the only person who told me to breast feed was the pediatrician.  Even my own doctors were okay with me bottle feeding.  Even the nurse in the hospital was more than accomodating when I said I thought I might try bottle feeding.  She even gave us extra batches of formula to take home.
     
     Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my choice, because I have a VERY SMART CHILD!  Okay, I'm biased, but he certainly didn't come to any harm from the formula.  I am also grateful that I didn't have to fight with the people who love me about breast milk vs formula.  But there are times when I wonder if I missed out on appreciating the moments I spent with my son, when it was just the two of us and he was happily suckling away.  I wonder if I denied myself some hormone or enzyme that may be beneficial to me and yes, I wonder if my son might have delayed getting his first cold a little longer.
     
     Going back, I don't know if I would have changed anything because I also have another child, who was adopted before I got pregnant.  And one of the biggest factors I had in my decision is that I felt guilty that I might be giving my second son, who was born from me, something I didn't give my first son.  I love them both so much, but I was afraid my first child would feel less loved or less favoured.  Maybe I was really afraid I would bond with my second more by breast feeding him.  Maybe I was really afraid I'd somehow lose my first son.  I couldn't do that to either of us.
     

     posted by : Maria L on 3/5/2009 at 11:56 PM Flag For Abuse

122. i'm going to keep this short and simple: Breastmilk for human babies. Cows milk for calves.
     
     Meaghan
     

     posted by : Meaghan on 4/2/2009 at 9:52 PM Flag For Abuse

123. Actually formula maybe poison:
     
     http://www.ewg.org/report/CDC-Scientists-Find-Rocket-Fuel-Chemical-In-Infant-Formula
     

     posted by : Fakir on 4/3/2009 at 11:13 AM Flag For Abuse

124. It's in Breastmilk too - and at a much higher level than formula.
     
     http://jcem.endojournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/jc.2006-2738v1

     posted by : jsl1971 on 4/5/2009 at 6:29 PM Flag For Abuse

125. It's good to see articles like this. I had grown up in a co-sleeping / nursing family and NEVER dreamed I wouldn't be able to breastfeed. My milk never came in. After two weeks of nursing on demand and pumping every hour on the hour, even through the night I had about two tablespoons of breast milk in a 24 hour period. I went to 3 lactation consultants who gave me all sorts of pumps, syringes, and herbs. Every time I had to nurse or pump I cried, the little milk I did get out were dark pink from blood. My husband and mother finally convinced me I needed to stop. (I sobbed with relief for 45 minutes.) I was wracked with guilt for months and felt totally deficient as a woman and mother. I hated feeding my son in public because I could see the disapproving and judging looks and in a few cases I even overheard comments. I'm sure it was not the intention of the LLL, doctors other "professionals" to vilify bottle feeding but it has been the salt in a very open wound of mine. Despite the disappointment and anger I felt about my situation, it has taught me to be less judgemental and more empathetic of other mothers and people in general.
     
     

     posted by : mommytimes2 on 4/25/2009 at 11:32 PM Flag For Abuse

126. PS: liked the Dad comments Daddy1998 and Toronto Tim! I completely agree!!!

     posted by : mommytimes2 on 4/25/2009 at 11:46 PM Flag For Abuse

127. I can't believe that people are rushing to defend formula, a last chance resort to keep babies from starving and having stunted growth. It is NOT a healthy food for babies, any more than bags of chips are healthy for toddlers to grow on (though they will still grow, and many may become smart adults--this doesn't make chips healthy! The anecdotes of formula-fed babies who still grew doesn't prove anything, especially for the general public). It has its appropriate uses and none beyond that.
     
     I worked at a WIC clinic for many years and saw many babies sick with digestive issues from their formula. Ask most parents to switch their baby's formula brand, and they protest: But what if my baby doesn't react well? Many don't; it's a gamble.
     
     I also saw many moms that loved exclusive breastfeeding. They took to it right away, and it was never hard for them. There's nothing wrong with moms that need support and patience. It's a behavior that many must learn (but not all!). No need to scare moms, just because it is difficult for some (not a surprise in a culture that doesn not actually support breastfeeding).
     

     posted by : Jennia on 4/28/2009 at 6:16 PM Flag For Abuse

128. To Jennia:
     
     Then what do you propose mothers who can't breastfeed do? You seem to simplify the issue as a 'not trying hard enough' thing which certainly seems to lack any kind of empathy or basis in the real struggles and medical complications that some women undergo. Some women can breastfeed (and I think that they are the majority) and some can't. If formula is, in your opinion, junk food then what do you suggest that women who can't breastfeed or who have adopted children do? You haven't actually come up with a helpful alternative and certainly haven't contributed to the discussion in a positive manner.
     
     Honestly, while I think that everyone generally agrees that breast milk is the best for babies we have to get beyond this black and white arguement of breast=good mother, formula=bad mother. If formula is so awful, then why aren't we looking at providing a better option for parents who can't breastfeed? We also need to move away from guilt tripping mothers who can't breastfeed. We need to support and educate one another not condemn someone who'se situation is unknown to us.

     posted by : LGW on 5/11/2009 at 3:38 PM Flag For Abuse

129. The Food and Drug Administration has found trace amounts of the industrial poison melamine in baby formula. This is the same substance that in larger quantities harmed thousands of babies in China and killed many North American family pets. Why is it necessary to include this poison in baby formula? I don't believe it is necessary and will not allow some fat cat corporation dictate what goes into my babies food. My baby's milk is nutritious and free of such poisons as melamine. I know, because I produced it.
     

     posted by : Natural Mama on 6/4/2009 at 2:07 AM Flag For Abuse

130. I was formula-fed.  I am healthy and happy.  I breastfeed my baby.  My husband occassionally gives him a bottle of formula.  The baby is happy, healthy, and so are we.  It's nice to know that in this day and age women who DO have issues, whether they be medically related or not, have options.  Damn the internets for providing fodder to every conspiracy theorist out there.  Just because something's on the web it doesn't mean that it's true, folks.  Relax and give each other a break.

     posted by : Chimom on 6/10/2009 at 5:50 PM Flag For Abuse

131. You should be more wary of disregarding the scientific evidence for breastfeeding.
     
     If 83% of mothers AREN'T BFing exclusively for 6 months, then who exactly is taking part in the studies?  And how can we be sure they're telling the truth about what they fed their baby?
     
     If a mum is giving her baby a couple of bottles of formula a week, or one formula 'top-up' each night, but breastfeeding the rest of the time, she's likely to answer a survey question "How do you feed your baby?" by saying "Breast".  Which then skews the results of any tests/studies she takes part in.  If researchers don't check whether a baby was EXCLUSIVELY breastfed and for how long, then the results of their studies could be off.  The protective effects of BF are probably still unknown, because not enough good quality studies have been done.

     posted by : M on 6/19/2009 at 4:22 PM Flag For Abuse

132. Thank you so much for this article....I've finally seen someone take on both sides of the coin objectively. I think too much pressure is put on moms who do not BF exclusively.
      Before my daughter was born last October, I had every good intention of BFing exclusively. However things did not turn out the way I expected.
     
     My grandmother who was close to me like my own mother, passed away 2 weeks before I gave birth. Thankfully I had a normal, painkiller-free delivery....got a tear which had to be stitched up. After the birth, my husband went back to work after a week. My mother was unable to be with me during this time. I had no one to depend on for help. So it was just my baby girl and I after the 2nd week. Try having to nurse a newborn with stiches that hurt so bad you don't know whether to stand, sit or lie down. Try going through your days living on toast, fruit, milk, leftovers and vitamins. God bless my husband for making breakfast every morning and making sure I got to shower before he left for work. And by the way.....anyone who swears that havinga normal delivery allows you to heal faster is a liar. I felt bruised and beaten for weeks after. Walking to the fridge is a hell of a challenge when you're by yourself. 
     
     Anyone who's BFd a newborn would agree that  they need to be fed almost round the clock....not every 2-3 hrs as the doctors and 'experts' tell you. When my milk 'came in' 3 days after delivery, my breasts were swollen to Pam Anderson proportions, were hard as soccerballs and had painful golf-ball sized lumps in both armpits. Great! I thought, thinking my milk would be gushing out. It was barely a trickle! I tried nursing baby religiously with minimal results. After about half hr on each breast, baby was still not receiving enough.
     
     After the pain and swelling subsided, I did have some success. However, baby would be crying soon after feeding. I know about the demand and supply principle, andso, BFd baby when she cried, hoping this would produce more milk. There were times when she would BF and last for maybe an hour at most, but the majority of times she fed every 30-45mins. I felt like I spent the whole day just feeding. There were times when i was literally starving while feeding her.
     
     I tried massage, warm water compresses, tea bags, tumeric concoctions....you name it , I tried it. Pumping produced pain and only 1-2 ounces at most. I realized that I JUST DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH as much as i tried. I was so exhausted i felt like i was going crazy.
     
     I decided to supplement baby with formula and for the first time baby seemed satisfied. used both BF and formula until she was 3  months.My husband was also able to helf with night feedings so that i could more sleep. After returning to work, I made the decision to formula feed alone. I do not regret making that decision.
     
     My baby is now 8 mths...is thriving well, having solids and is healthy and happy. She is very alert and physically active. I feel like she has gotten the best of both worlds. Looking back now, i feel that maybe my low milk production was due to being stressed and exhausted and also grieving for my grandmother. Everybody's body reacts in different ways th stress and this was how mine did.
     
     I still believe that babies should be BFd but for it to work exclusive, the mother needs alot of support and help. I do intend to BF my next baby when he/she comes along.
     
     To all the critics of formula feeding, don't cast judgement on every woman you see formula feeding her baby. You don't know her story or what situation she's going through.
     I hope that I've been able to reach out to someone who maybe went through something similar.

     posted by : IzzysMom on 6/20/2009 at 11:24 PM Flag For Abuse

133. Oh geeze.  Just what we needed, another "omg formula is like sooooo totally awesome and breastfeeding is teh sux!1!1!!" article.  
     
     
     

     posted by : Kay on 7/20/2009 at 7:39 PM Flag For Abuse

134. Breast is NOT best.  Breast is the norm; the standard, and formula feeding falls way below it.  There are NO health advantages to either the baby or the mother when feeding formula, unless you are one of the 2% of women who are physically unable to do it and the only other option is starvation.  The difference between breastmilk and formula milk is huge.  Every tiny deficiency that is ironed out in formula is advertised as a massive advance forward.
     
     "Conspiracy" implies that people who push breastfeeding are lying, and doing so for their own agenda, that their is some mysterious benefit to someone, somewhere, that breastfeeding mother's are gullibly lining some fat cat's pockets.  The OPPOSITE is true.  NO ONE makes money out of breastfeeding, and the people who benefit are the people doing it, and the people around them!
     
     I like this blog:
     
     Gone too far?

     by Lauredhel on June 25, 2009

     
     

     Those who think that society has “gone too far” in supporting breastfeeding, that mothers who formula feed are demonised and breastfeeding mothers aren’t:

     Show me the women who are losing their jobs for formula feeding.

     Show me the women who are being kicked out of restaurants, swimming pools, gyms, childcare centres, and airplanes for formula feeding.

     Show me the immigrant women whose babies are removed because, among other things, they planned to formula feed.

     Show me the women who have been ordered to cease or interrupt formula feeding by family courts.

     Show me the women who have been inappropriately ordered to stop formula feeding by doctors and child health care nurses because of concerns that the formula feeding is causing the baby to be too big, too small, too loud, too anything. Show me the Child Protection reports that ensue when mothers are sceptical and non-compliant with this uninformed “advice”.

     Show me the people who, on seeing a bottle pulled out in a public place, will wrinkle their nose and say in disgust, “Are you going to do that here?”

     Show me the people who won’t allow infant formula in an office fridge because it could be carrying disease.

     Show me the people who insist that bottles of infant formula should be covered with a brown paper bag so as not to gross bystanders out.

     Show me the people who insist that all bottle feeding should be covered with a blanket, you filthy sluts.

     Show me the people who say that women who choose to bottle feed should just stay home until their child is drinking from a cup. They made their bed, so they should lie in it.

     Show me the people who say that formula feeding shouldn’t be allowed in public because they don’t have time to explain such adult concepts to their children.

     Show me the people who won’t allow formula feeding in an area because the area is designated “family friendly”.

     Show me the women who have had a gun pointed at them for not stopping a bottle feed in a public building in which they’re entitled to bottle feed.

     Show me the women who have been accused of formula feeding because they’re paedophiles.

     Show me the mainstream media forums in which it’s just fine to call women “filthy”, “perverted”, “gross”, and “cow-like” because they formula feed.

     Show me the women who have been followed back to their workplace and questioned by police for preparing a bottle of formula in a parenting room designated for that purpose.

     Show me the shocked gasps and silences when a woman has a glass of wine, a second latte, or a painkiller while bottle feeding.

     Show me the documentaries on “Extreme Formula Feeding”, followed by an outpouring of public outrage about how those kids will be psychologically and sexually fucked up for life.

     Show me the explosion in unethical corporate advertising lies promoting non-formula-feeding on an unprecented scale. Show me the massive outpourings of free corporate-supplied breastfeeding support to developing countries and disaster zones. Show me the tens of millions of dollars donated by individuals and companies to urgently get breastfeeding support to women and children in need. Show me the giant hollow breasts used as money collection devices for children in need.

     Show me the daycare centres who charge fifty dollars more per week for formula fed babies.

     Show me all these things, and then we’ll talk.
     

     posted by : madasaspoon on 8/3/2009 at 6:36 PM Flag For Abuse

135. I fully intended to breastfeed exclusively for at least the recommended year, if not longer.
     
     To give you an idea of my background, my husband and I planned a home birth for our daughter, we planned to cloth diaper, we planned on refusing many vaccinations, and we planned to breastfeed exclusively.
     
     If there's anything I've learned from the last 7 months, plans are for people who don't have children.
     
     When my daughter was born (after a grueling 36 hours of labor and a hospital transfer--there went plan 1, out the window!), I had the support of a professional midwife, a lactation consultant, and my family.  I'd done my research.  I knew what was best for my daughter and our family.
     
     Come to find out, I have a medical condition--breast hypoplasia and PCOS--that interfered with my ability to produce and hold sufficient milk.  After a week of nursing exclusively, I watched my daughter turn into a skeleton and listened to her scream in hunger.  After 7 days, her screams turned into pitiful squalks because she was too weak to cry, and her eyes got glassy.  Eventually she stopped crying... she just slept (by that point, I did enough crying for both of us).
     
     Watching my baby starve was scary.  I find it amazing that a woman could look at her child in that condition and think, "No formula for you!  Formula is the devil's milk!  Here's a teaspoon of breastmilk to tide you over for the next DAY."
     
     So, given the choice between watching my baby girl starve or watching her thrive, we started supplementing with formula.
     
     But even then, I'm pretty persistent for an "uneducated, formula-feeding lug."  I continued to look into the cause of my low milk production.  I had thyroid tests, hormone tests, and a consultation with an endocrinologist (who basically said, "I don't know enough about this to be helpful. Try Google.").  I kept in touch with my lactation consultant.  I read kellymom and all the breastfeeding Web sites.  I pumped between feedings.  I tried everything short of driving 5 hours to Boston to see a better endocrinologist.  By the time my daughter was 3 months, my milk supply was slightly better thanks to my efforts, but still half what it should have been.
     
     I nursed my daughter with supplementation for 5 months, at which point my supply dried up because my daughter went on a nursing strike.  After that, we were lucky to receive a gift of donated breast milk for about 2 months (I was lucky to have a doula who knew a lady who knew a lady.  In Maine there is no breastmilk bank, and even if there were, I doubt I could afford it).  We've since run out of the donated breastmilk, and formula is back on the menu.
     
     I refuse to feel guilty for the choice we made.  I still remember seeing my little girl, hungry and screaming after every "feeding."  Now I look at her and I see a bubbly, active, healthy 7-month-old.
     
     Regardless of how she's fed, I know which baby I prefer to see.
     

     posted by : CMoore83 on 8/4/2009 at 3:26 PM Flag For Abuse

136. Sing it sister!
     
     I'm a breastfeeding mom, but also an adoptive mom.  And my kids are all fine.  They are just as brilliant and gorgeous as your kids are.
     
     There are forums where breastfeeding support is available without judgment.  But you make one of the best points possible when you point out that there is a lot of work to be done in creating better policies for working moms and dads nationally. 
     
     It's ridiculous to look across the border at Canadian moms and their maternity leave- and then look back at ours.  Regardless of how you feed your baby, the best gift any baby can have is the love and PRESENCE of her parents.  Daycare ain't it.  Sometimes, it's the choice you make, for excellent reasons, and daycare isn't poison, any more than formula is.
     
     But.
     
     Why on earth would we choose to make the most unfriendly policies possible to working moms?  Why would we refuse to give babies the start they need?  What on earth is wrong with creating a real maternity/paternity leave policy?  Is this really the way we want to do this?
     

     posted by : JustAnotherMom on 8/4/2009 at 11:19 PM Flag For Abuse

137. For everyone who insists that very few moms can't breastfeed... that just doesn't compute.  I have PCOS and struggled to get pregnant.  Now that my son is here, I have struggled with low milk supply.  I have read stats suggesting that 10% or more of women have PCOS; the number is on the rise, due to unknown reasons.  PCOS causes supply issues for many, though not all, women who have it.  So that's up to 10% of women right there who may have supply issues.  And PCOS is just one of many other issues, such as breast surgery or thyroid issues, that can cause a low supply, so when I see numbers like 1% of women or 5% of women have low supply, I always think they are underestimating the number of moms who truly have supply issues.
     
     Also, one poster (Jamie2) said: "What is wrong with giving them all the breast milk you can and substituting the rest with formula? I sure don't know any women who do that...they just use "low supply" as an excuse to quit all together because they are tired of it and don't want to do it."
     
     You are flat out wrong.  I pump EVERY THREE HOURS around the frickin' clock to get as much milk as possible (my son will not latch despite having worked with 4 lactation consultants!), and he still gets some formula.  I belong to a support group for low supply moms and ALL OF US give as much breastmilk as possible, but many must supplement.  So don't assume anything just because a baby must get some formula!
     
     I am full of guilt about the formula he must get, but I am so glad my son has access to as much milk as I can pump and to high quality formula to provide the calories he needs to grow!

     posted by : Low Supply Mom on 8/8/2009 at 11:05 PM Flag For Abuse

138. Great article. It's hight time to stop vilifying  formula-users. Yes, breastfeeding is the best choice, but not the only one. My mom had to formula-feed me since I was like two months old, because a bout of flu left her milkless, yet I'm as healthy as my normaly breastfed brother, and I did have a stronger bond with her than he had. But you know what? she never felt guilty about not being able to breastfeed me.
     I think guilt and neurosis is far more damaging to your baby than a bottle of formula fed with Lots of Love.
     
     PS. For the lactactivist nazis... only mothers breastfeed... does that mean no kid ever get to bond with its father?
     

     posted by : nuri on 8/26/2009 at 4:46 AM Flag For Abuse

139. Personally, I feel that the "breast feeding" insanity, along with so many of the idiotic extremes to which the "breeding obsessed" segment of out society go (e.g. refusal to consider adoption as an alternative to having a "biological" child, mutilple fertility treatments / in virto attempts, sometimes taking couples to the brink of bankruptcy due to the costs or ruining relationships due to their failure, multiple birth pregancies - ala the Octo-Mom,etc.) has nothing to do with what is best for the child.  I think it has more to do with the galling hubris of the completely self-absorbed parents-to-be and their all consuming need to control everything in their lives, including their children .
     
     The narcissitic self-indulgence of these individuals and their neo-facist zeal to impose their way of thinking onto others along with the fact that the children of this and the last generation have been raised to believe that they are the center of the universe - that they are entitled to everything and yet responsible for none of their actions - is appalling.
     
     What further appalls and downright shames me is that it is my generation that bears significant responsibility for this.  We have raised a generation and as a byproduct that generation will raise subsequent generations of children with whom they are more interested in being "friends" than parents.  Generations of children who cannot get into a car for a drive across town without a DVD or video game system plugged into the monitors in the back seats to placate them because (a) they have not be taught any manners or discipline or (b) the parents don't want to have to actually deal with them.  And we wonder why our society is losing ground to other nations?  Other nations, particularly those in the developing world, are actually educating their children and preparing them for the future - not coddling them in a womb "feel good" platitudes and "everybody wins" sports leagues while enabling them with a "don't worry Mommy and Daddy will take care of if" crutch on which they rely well into their adult lives.
     
     For the distinct minority of children being raised with a sense of accountibility, responsibility, independence and discipline, I can only hope that they can reverse the trend in which my generation has such a signficant hand and turn the tide of idiocy that is currently running rampant in the molding of the future minds and moral compasses of our society.  Otherwise we will find ourselves mired in the "socialist reform" movement that has gained a firm foothold in our society today - ala Obama and the liberal, quasi-intellectual left wing pundits who, just like the "lactactivist Nazis" seek only to belittle and bully those that dare disagree with their ideology.

     posted by : A Concerned Voice amougst the Sh on 9/13/2009 at 2:11 PM Flag For Abuse

140. Ladies, please do not attack me for asking a question.  My new husband and I are trying to get pregnant with our first child.  I just assumed that breast feeding was a natural thing.  I had no idea there were so many women that have problems with pain, bleeding, the baby not latching on etc.  I am now researching the sites listed above so I can be more prepared.  I do want to breast feed BUT if there are serious problems (mine or the baby's) does anybody know what brands of formula are "better" than other brands.

     posted by : trying on 10/4/2009 at 1:27 PM Flag For Abuse

141. Why do so many women view suffering a virtue, a pre-requisite to successful mothering? What about the health benefits of feeling emotionally stable and able to care for your children in a loving way?
     I appreciate this article because as someone who experienced tremendous difficulty with breast feeding - and ultimately chose after two months of non-stop pumping, lactation consultant visits, fenugreek, mothers milk tea, nipple shields - not to mention a screaming, hungry newborn- to feed my baby exclusively formula; it's reassuring to know there are some women who give credence to my struggle in this emotionally-charged issue. What's more, both my son and I are enjoying much happier and harmonious feeding times....and I wouldn't trade this for anything. 
     In my experience, breast feeding was presented to me as a skill, something that I would "learn" through determination and shouldn't "give up" simply because it proved difficult. And the advice, which came from all directions, made me I feel - during a very vulnerable time -  like a failure.
     Yet, in a haze of pain medication after an emergency c-section, I was sent home from the hospital with a baby who had yet latched. My child didn't eat for the first three days of his life. When I took him into the pediatrician after 24 hours of non-stop howling, he had lost over 13 percent of his birth weight. The doctor said "your baby is starving; you have to feed him" and gave me a bottle of formula. My son took the entire bottle and fell asleep in my arms; my husband and I both started crying...out of fear, happiness, exhaustion, relief. In that moment, salvation came in bottle. 
     I will not apologize to anyone for my decision nor do I believe other women have any right whatsoever to weigh in on how another woman approaches motherhood. The saddest lesson in all of this wasn't that I didn't get to breast feed my son; I would have liked to but it didn't work out - so I moved on. Rather, what's been sobering is the realization of how awful women are to one another. It seems that the self-proclaimed enlightened mamas are the first to judge any woman with  parenting techniques different from their own; so much for sisterhood! 
     
     

     posted by : Aimala on 10/6/2009 at 10:53 AM Flag For Abuse