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My first never used a pacifier, and actually would vomit every time I tried to give him one, but I'm PRAYING this next one is a thumb-sucker. All the benefits of a pacifier, but free!And two is WAYYYYY too young to give up the binky. Hold on until 4!
posted by : EllaAnne on 7/3/2008 at 12:04 AM Flag For Abuse
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Best thing about the binky (well, besides the reduction in SIDS) - when it DOES come time to take it away, you can. Last time I checked, you can't take their thumb away! Long live the binky!
posted by : jeanne on 7/3/2008 at 9:50 AM Flag For Abuse
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I think the inventor of the binky (along with the inventor of the baby swing) should get a Nobel. I wouldn’t have slept longer than a two-hour stretch in the past seven months if my son didn’t love his binky. And he’s an avid breastfeeder and hasn’t had ear infections or thrush or any of that Bad Binky Stuff. It’s really comforting to read that the binky calms your toddler’s tantrums—I’ve sort of been dreading the toddler stage, and if the binky helps, then the binky shall stay. I confess that as a kid I used a binky until I was SEVEN (I hid one under the mattress so no one would tease me), and yet I was the only one of my family that didn’t need orthodontia.
posted by : LauraLaura on 7/3/2008 at 1:01 PM Flag For Abuse
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My oldest daughter never used a pacifier...but boy, I wished she would have! I tried, but she would just spit them out. I envied those parents who could stop a meltdown just by popping in a paci.
At least my second is a finger-sucker. It's fantastic--she gets tired, she pops in her fingers, she nods off.
posted by : chyna823 on 7/3/2008 at 1:40 PM Flag For Abuse
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My youngest refused to even try a pacifier. I am not bragging, believe me. I tried and tried and tried to get her to use one but she just wouldn't take it. Now she's a toddler and is attached to a couple of objects that serve as comfort items. But infancy without a pacifier was TOUGH! So I say if your kid takes one (as two of my older ones did) - feel blessed and let them suck!
posted by : BBBGMOM on 7/3/2008 at 3:00 PM Flag For Abuse
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I wish I had thumb sucker/paci users...none of my kids went that route and so we had lots of tired crying in this house. I am sure most kids throw the paci/thumb habit while young but some actually never do. There are actual support groups for adults who still use them.
posted by : carlie on 7/3/2008 at 3:21 PM Flag For Abuse
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Of my 15-mo twins, one prefers a pacifier and one his thumb. I am much happier about the one using a pacifier! For one thing, when the binky-lover is upset, I can usually pop a binky into his mouth and calm him down, but try shoving a kid's thumb into his mouth! No can do. Also, when the time finally does come for the binky to go away, it can just disappear ... but the thumb is, of course, here to stay. Long live binkies!
posted by : Anon on 7/3/2008 at 3:44 PM Flag For Abuse
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Being told to tell your son he is a big boy now - how silly. My son soon to be 4, now only uses his pacifier(babbayeah as he calls it)when he sleeps. He has been to the dentist, and the dentist also said no problem with soothers. Call him a "big boy" I don't think so; he says "look at me I am small, I am a little boy". I am so glad you just nodded and grinned at the doctor, let your little boy be that a little boy who knows how to sooth himself. I would encourage pacifiers over thumbs...my older sister's thumb is actually smaller than her other one and her bottom teeth are very crooked. I on the other hand used a pacifier and have straight teeth. I also have friends who's 12yr old still sucks her thumb when she sleeps. With my son it all started with him sucking my baby finger...babies love to suck, they do it naturally.
posted by : LisaW on 7/3/2008 at 3:55 PM Flag For Abuse
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At three, our daughter gave her Nuks to the "Nuk Fairy," who left her a pretty basket for collecting rocks (her favorite activity) and an "honorary fairy dress, complete with wings" in exchange. Now, a year later, she still asks for her Nuk when she's having a particularly bad day, much like she clings to her blankie--because it was a comfort object. She was breastfed from day one, and given a Nuk the same day: absolutely no nipple confusion. That Nuk (and her swing) saved my sanity those first few months. From the age of about 2 1/2 to 3, she could have her Nuk to sleep, but that was it--no Nuk during the day, which she seemed to understand, because she was eating constantly anyway.
You and your son will make the decision. I do suggest that he's off it by the time he starts 4K, or things will probably be very awkward for him.
posted by : katydidmama on 7/3/2008 at 4:09 PM Flag For Abuse
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I've only come into my stepson's life recently, so who am I to criticize, but he still uses his pacifier to get to sleep and he's six. His mother used hers until she was quite a bit older so she sees no problem with it, but my partner (they're no longer together) worries that now that his son's permanent teeth are coming in, the pacifier is going to cause problems.
Peer pressure is suggested as the number 1 way to get a kid to stop using a binky at that age (ie, shaming him), but I think he knows not to talk about it with friends and we don't make a big deal out of it. It would be difficult anyway with two different households doing two different things.
I'm more concerned with the continued co-sleeping than the binky. . . But I guess every child is different and coping mechanisms vary. :)
posted by : New Stepmom on 7/3/2008 at 4:45 PM Flag For Abuse
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Hallelujah! My son (now 13 months) got his first pacifier in the hospital, and we haven't looked back. He has always been an excellent breast feeder but he has also always had a need for "non-nutritive sucking" as it was called. The day he could put the thing in his own mouth was a happy happy day. I have no qualms about him using it if he wants it. I'm thinking we'll get his daycare to restrict it to nap time (because I'm sure it'll get dragged on the ground and find its way into the mouths of other children otherwise), but other than that I'm totally OK with it.
A friend of mine mentioned one day that she is afraid her son will be one of "those kids" with the pacifier in his mouth at age 2 or 3; my response was "so what"? No harm, no foul. I think sometimes the peer pressure is more about the parents than the kids.
posted by : sd on 7/3/2008 at 10:13 PM Flag For Abuse
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Amen! I don't understand why people get all nutso over pacis and when kids should stop using them. If I have to listen to my sister-in-law crow about how, thank G*D, her three never used binkies, I'm going to throw something at her. Pacis are GOOD. Your child being able to self-soothe is GOOD. My daughter uses her at naptimes, bedtimes, and in moving vehicles (cars or strollers), plus I bring one along when we're out and about, just in case. When she's getting a new tooth, she's got one in there 24/7, and I'm grateful that such a small item can do such a world of good and keep her from hurting! She breastfed for 14 months with nary a problem and talks up a storm. At the doctor's last week for her 15 month checkup, they mentioned we should start weaning her from that, and I just laughed and said, "I'm not worried about it." And that was the end of that.
If she still has a paci attached to her shirt when she heads off to junior high, I'll be concerned.
posted by : bookmama on 7/3/2008 at 10:42 PM Flag For Abuse
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Using a pasi is lazy parenting. Caring for and parenting a human is by nature an inconvenience. Soothing a baby for a "subway ride" or a "meal at a nice restaurant" is comfortable for you and unfair to them. Just because they have a plastic gag in their mouth doesn't mean they are developing an ability to self sooth. I would be at a loss to read and understand my 5 month old daughter if she used a paci. She never cries and smiles all the time because we watch carefully for her to tell us when she is tired, wet or hungry. Putting a plastic plug in her face would be almost as disrespectful as taking her places that make her uncomfortable.
posted by : goodmama on 7/4/2008 at 1:33 AM Flag For Abuse
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As for the "goodmama" post...wow... bully for you, then, having it all figured out! If this is your first child, I would just caution against getting too smug too early because things change very quickly and eating of words becomes necessary. Things change from one child to the next, too. Just sayin'. You'll know what I mean after it's happened.
ANYWAY, my daughter started spitting them out when her first tooth popped out at 4 months and, boy, did we miss it! We have videos of her contentedly chilling out and drifting to sleep in the co-sleeper with the paci. And she was very much an attachment-parented, carried in sling, co-slept, non-cried-out baby, thankyouverymuch, and was all about the "nurses." While the paci was in action, she could stay with us through church services and my aunt's funeral, and it didn't prevent us from reading the signs of tired, wet or hungry (or the major leaking poopy during the funeral, but that's another story). Believe me, I'm a huge breastfeeding proponent (still doing it at 18 months!) but I'm not one to pop out the boob in church! It's not like she was fooled into thinking the paci was food - if she was *hungry* the paci was spit out and she was signaling for nurses. After the teeth came in, life got a lot more problematic. Combine that with the-powers-that-be saying that a paci is way better than a thumb for tooth development purposes and I'd say it's a rare winner for modern parenting tools!
posted by : CDG on 7/4/2008 at 2:06 AM Flag For Abuse
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The goodmama post must be a joke.
I always had a neutral stance on the bink. To each his own, I figure. BUT, last summer I learned how much energy some people put into this topic when a woman in my mommy group threatened to yank the paci out of another woman's child's mouth. I was completely shocked. Of course, the aggressor turned her car seat around before her child turned one, so she must know best about parenting.
posted by : WonderingWilla on 7/4/2008 at 7:17 AM Flag For Abuse
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My 7 year old, brother-in-law just gave up his 'dodi' last year, on his sixth birthday.
The entire time that he'd suck on it, he'd get teased and made fun of, put down and bullied by kids and adults. he became so ashamed of it that it became a little secret.
he sucked on it while at home, sucked on it in the car ride to school, but would hide it-or have someone he trusted keep it safe for him.
it was this treatment that I think gave him a lack of confidence.
he threw it in the bin on his birthday. every now and then he'll talk about how much he misses it, how he just wants one little suck.
why not just give this little bit of comfort and pleasure to a child? we're only a kid for so many short years-and then the rest is spent being an adult...
posted by : Starving Artist on 7/4/2008 at 11:25 AM Flag For Abuse
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Err..goodmama are you for real? Your five month old "never cries?" And you never take her places that make her uncomfortable? Even to the doctor's office if she's sick? So I guess you're never going to potty train her then...
posted by : Bostonmama on 7/5/2008 at 9:51 AM Flag For Abuse
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i was one of those mom's who was SOOO proud that my son refused a paci. now that he's 2 1/2 and has always soothed himself by sticking his fingers in MY mouth- i wish i had tried harder. oh well, we play the hands we are dealt. as for goodmama- i'm sure you'll be flamed enough for your inflammatory statements...so, as we say in the South, god, bless your heart.
posted by : ohboysmommy on 7/5/2008 at 12:38 PM Flag For Abuse
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I sucked my thumb (covertly) until I was 12 years old, and man was it hard to give it up. I had to quit because I needed braces (yes, because of the thumb-sucking -- my teeth slanted left in the direction of my favored thumb -- not to mention the shame that I was almost a teenager and still a thumbsucker). That's the main reason I can see for making a child give up his or her sucking object of choice at some point (though I don't know exactly what the point would be), because if they don't naturally outgrow it, it just becomes all the harder later on.
posted by : violetbeauregarde on 7/5/2008 at 4:24 PM Flag For Abuse
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It was wrong to post such negative and mean-spirited feedback. I offer my sincere apology to anyone that I offended. It was arrogant venting and I won't do it again.
posted by : goodmama on 7/6/2008 at 8:56 AM Flag For Abuse
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My nineteen month old daughter still takes a paci at night. She uses it rarely during the day if she is sick or teething. Sure, I could rock her and listen to her cry for hours, or I could give her a paci that offers instant relief. It's silly how people get all bent out of shape over other people's parenting decisions.
My son used a paci briefly before switching to his thumb, which he then gave up before age one. I was sort of happy about the thumb because thumbs don't get lost or fall on the floor in dirty restaurants.
posted by : Mom2Two on 7/6/2008 at 5:30 PM Flag For Abuse
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Before he turned two, I started telling my son that we had to be careful about losing his binkies because they won't sell them to kids after they turn two. I had him convinced it was like the drinking age (not that he understood drinking age...)- the store checker knows if you're over two, and you just can't buy them any more.
I had already tried the "we'll leave them under the tree and Santa will bring you extra toys" trick, but his simple response was "I don't want to do that."
We let the supply of the precious binkies dwindle, and eventually had one left at home and one at grandma's. While visiting the other grandparents the neighbor dog stole one of my by-then 3 year old's water shoes. Hmm, just like our Golden at home who stole things and had been known to chew up errant binkies and toys. So when the binky truly went missing later that day at nap time, I seized the chance and told my sad son, that the neighbor dog must have eaten the binky and it was gone forever. It took a few days of sad and difficult going to sleep times, but he finally broke the habit once and for all. (I found the binky the next day, but hid it!) After all, they don't sell you binkies once you turn two. Oh, and he did light up when he realized the other binky must be back in Seattle at the other grandma's, but mysteriously when we phoned her (advance warning via email), hers had dissappered too. It was a great tool until he was ready to be weaned of it.
posted by : Allison on 7/7/2008 at 12:43 AM Flag For Abuse
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I was alone with my baby and she was colicky and had a heart condition that required I keep her calm. I practically forced the paci on her because I needed the help.
Now, she uses it to sleep. (Or I guess I use it to sleep)
I thought it would be difficult to convince her it was for sleep only but it wasn't.
I don't think using the paci is really self-soothing, but we all have our soothing techniques and I don't mind my two year old sleeping with a paci.
posted by : CaliMama on 7/7/2008 at 8:04 PM Flag For Abuse
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My 5 month old daughter uses one, and I have mixed feelings towards it. On one hand, it calms her down in times of distress (loud noises, car rides when stuck in traffic, stranger anxiety) and it does put her to sleep in an instant when she is over-tired. However; I hate waking up in the middle of the night to pop it back into her mouth when she wakes up and finds she's not sucking on it, I have a hard time seeing it in her mouth in photographs. I limit it to naps and bedtime only, unless she has to come with me for a lunch out with friends, or a grocery shopping trip gone bad.
I will say- the pacifier looks ridiculous on children over the 2 year old mark. Fine if they have it for sleeping, but walking around at the playground or what have you it just looks really silly.
posted by : anon on 7/8/2008 at 9:53 AM Flag For Abuse
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Am unabashed paci (we call it soovy) fan, and am fervently endeavoring to get my newborn son to take it because? It's been a total boon with our 2 year old as a love object and soother and - yes - cork. Now that she's nap-resistant, it's also a useful incentive to encourage naps (she's discouraged from using it unless in bed or in car or in some other state of need, like scraped knee.)
And? Canadian medical authorities have linked binky use with reduced risk of SIDS and with helping reduce pain from gas. SO. Whatevs to anyone who disses the binky.
posted by : HerBadMother on 7/8/2008 at 3:40 PM Flag For Abuse
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I always wondered what the big deal was about pacifiers. I WISHED my daughter would use one. She was very colicky and difficult to soothe without constant walking, riding in the car seat, etc. for a good 9 months (not just normal infant fussiness). I did breastfeed her until she was 2 1/2,she did NOT have reflus and I would probably be praised for attachment style parenting as I'd pull her into bed with me to help us all sleep, so as a mother of a high needs baby, that pacifier would have worked wonders if she'd have gone for it. Having experienced true colic (we put her to sleep with the vacuum on high), I'm a mother who says if something can soothe a baby use it! I noticed that so many people would comment on how horrible the pacifier habit was...but tney never seemed to have a good reason. Great article.
posted by : msleora on 7/8/2008 at 5:31 PM Flag For Abuse
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*quote*
posted by : bookmama on 7/3/2008 at 10:42 PM
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Using a pasi is lazy parenting. Caring for and parenting a human is by nature an inconvenience. Soothing a baby for a "subway ride" or a "meal at a nice restaurant" is comfortable for you and unfair to them. Just because they have a plastic gag in their mouth doesn't mean they are developing an ability to self sooth. I would be at a loss to read and understand my 5 month old daughter if she used a paci. She never cries and smiles all the time because we watch carefully for her to tell us when she is tired, wet or hungry. Putting a plastic plug in her face would be almost as disrespectful as taking her places that make her uncomfortable.
*/endquote*
Huh. If someone pokes you with a pin, do you go screaming about the room as all the hot air shoots out of you? I bet every other parent in your neighborhood glares at you as you go past for being the self-righteous, holier-than-though, baby bjorn bitch that you are!
posted by : tweak on 7/9/2008 at 6:43 PM Flag For Abuse
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PS. It's not exactly a gag or a plug. If they don't like it, they can spit it out.
posted by : tweak on 7/9/2008 at 6:44 PM Flag For Abuse
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That's pretty strong - tweak. goodmama already apologised for her post.
posted by : cocoa on 7/11/2008 at 2:44 AM Flag For Abuse
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Goodmama, that was cool that you came back and apologized. I'm sure you're not the only one to ever get in a fiery mood and dash off a blog comment that you later wanted to erase. :) Usually people just dig in and keep going though, so I appreciate what you said. It sounds like your baby is a peach so really appreciate that. I just spent a week with my 3 month old niece who has that same kind of calm, smiley, easy personality, like I barely heard her cry the whole time and was amazed. She sucks her two fingers, FWIW. :P
posted by : CDG on 7/13/2008 at 2:00 AM Flag For Abuse
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I remember having to give up my pacifier around the age of 4 because it was time to go to nursery school. I remember trying to sneak it into school with me and all the kids laughing. I loved that thing! Now, as a Dental Hygienist I definitely see the ill effects it can cause to kids teeth, more so the shape of the dental arch and how the mouth grows to accomodate the 'binky'. The teeth will actually grow to form an opening in the front of the mouth, teeth will not come together and it does cause quite a lot of orthodontic problems in the future (aka thousands of dollars for braces) I understand the feeling of security it gives to kids and don't think there is any harm in using it as long as it's not doing damage to the mouth. That said, from my experience most kids start showing definitive growth abnormalities after 3-4 years old (sometimes sooner everyone grows differently in spurts). As far as I'm concerned as a Dental Professional I counsel my patients to try to get their kids to wean off of it as soon as we start noticing an open bite or growth discrepency. So three cheers for a pacifier, we can wean away from it, but to those parents who have to deal with weaning off the thumb or fingers... ugh.. much more difficult, fingers will always be with us!
posted by : Lissy07 on 7/16/2008 at 10:48 PM Flag For Abuse
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This article cracked me up. God bless the binkie, AKA “The Shut Up Plug”.
posted by : binkielisous on 7/18/2008 at 5:48 PM Flag For Abuse
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My grandson is "that type." I only babysit him, he and his mom do not live with me...but when I watch him I pin it to his shirt so he can't put it down and forget where it is. The shut up plug is always at the ready.
posted by : Anon on 7/24/2008 at 4:57 PM Flag For Abuse
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My youngest used a pacifier for 8 months. Then he lost it and I didn't replace it. Mostly because I didn't want to be one of THOSE parents. You know the ones: who make up myths to convince their four year olds that the magical sucky fairy needing to reclaim the soother for new babies. That's just really...sad.
posted by : Joy Filled Girl on 1/18/2009 at 1:10 AM Flag For Abuse
