feedback for "Return to the Home Front"
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This story was beautifully written. I was almost in tears.
posted by : tiffer on 10/5/2007 at 8:08 PM Flag For Abuse
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I read your article this past spring and had been hoping for an update. Your story is beautiful and I am so happy and relieved that your family has been reunited. Bless you all.
posted by : BBBGMOM on 10/6/2007 at 10:39 PM Flag For Abuse
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*sniff* What? I...I've just got something in my eye...I need to go get a Kllenex...
posted by : chyna823 on 10/7/2007 at 9:01 AM Flag For Abuse
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I am sooo very happy for you. What a joy that you are all back together again. How many times have you breathed a sigh of relief? Enjoy every second of your time together. All the best.
posted by : Karen523 on 10/9/2007 at 1:09 PM Flag For Abuse
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Thank you for sharing your story. We're facing the possibility of my husband being sent for RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) training for 6 months shortly after #2 arrives, and it's so good to read essays by temporarily-single parents who are willing to be honest about the experience. Best of luck to all of you!
posted by : AllisonWonder on 10/9/2007 at 3:52 PM Flag For Abuse
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It so nice to hear about other people's quiet struggles. It does seem like the cumulative impact of little victories and moments of joy is what it's all about. I have one child and a second on the way, and can only imagine what it would take to raise three children alone, even for a few months.
posted by : chattydaddy on 10/10/2007 at 9:35 AM Flag For Abuse
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Thank you for this. I am on month three of a year long deployment, home alone with three kids ages 6, 4 and 2. Frustrating, exhausting but somehow it must be making me stronger. I dream of the day my husband comes home and life can get back to "normal". Thank you again and I am happy for you!
posted by : me and the three on 6/13/2008 at 11:04 PM Flag For Abuse
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As far as the dilemma of who is being "selfish"--you for wanting your husband to stay home, or him for wanting to possibly go back and continue making a difference in the world--I think "selfish" is the wrong word. You both have very real, legitimate wants and needs, and neither of you is wrong for wanting what you want. Maybe a new word needs to be invented for that very situation.
Please tell your husband THANK YOU for doing the job he did. Our soldiers are the best for the selfless sacrifices they make, and we deeply appreciate the work they do.
posted by : supporter on 6/14/2008 at 3:19 PM Flag For Abuse
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Wow not one anti war response.its a sad day when very few in this world can judge truth from falsehood and right from wrong.May God lead us to the straight path.Theres nothing else to hope for when people have been misled to such a degree.When wil we ever live in Peace when folk like yourselves are being fooled into believing u r doin a noble thing wen lives r being destroyed on both sides of the world.And no i dont think u r bad people just misguided and being led by the embodiment of evil and injustice.peace loving mom
posted by : Peace loving mom on 7/4/2008 at 10:52 AM Flag For Abuse
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This article kind of disgusted me. It was almost as if you didn't care that your husband was risking his life for his country, just as long as you didn't have to be bothered by your kids by yourself anymore. I'm reading this over and over again trying to see if I had read anything wrong or something like that, but I don't think I had...
Your husband comes home from war, and you're relieved that you don't have to do laundry anymore? ...what? Adjusting from being in combat to normal life is hard enough, much less having a wife push all of her problems onto you after you've just had a traumatic experience.
I could just be totally miscontruing this, but this was the reaction I had.
As for you husband, tell him I said thank you for protecting our country.
posted by : Anuharada on 7/21/2008 at 12:21 AM Flag For Abuse
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To Anuharada:
I appreciate what you're saying, but the point of my essay was to show people who aren't aware of how the stress of deployment affects some of us at home. Of course I understand how hard it was for my husband to be in Iraq, but he told me regularly that of the two of us I had the harder job. Maybe most families get through such an experience better than I did, but I suspect there are a lot of hidden stories of anxiety like mine. The mere fact that my husband was at war made my situation nothing by comparison, but that just added guilt to what were real struggles. Because such struggles don't get discussed people don't imagine they exist. My husband recognizes his sacrifice doesn't compare to that of a lot of other soldiers--does that mean his struggles didn't count or don't matter? I'm thankful every day my husband is home and that we can live and parent as partners again.
One of the things I like about Babble is the willingness of its writers to discuss openly the complications of parenting today, even when it makes them look selfish or petty or less than perfect. We are human even as we parent. Recognizing we are not alone in our worries and flaws should make us more compassionate.
Do you really want to thank soldiers for protecting our country? Find a family like mine and offer real help. Doing laundry doesn't sound like much but it can mean the world to someone who feels stretched to the limit and alone. And support the USO--My husband said they were the only group in that regard who really knew what they were doing.
posted by : Korinthia on 8/24/2008 at 1:08 PM Flag For Abuse
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It's been almost exactly a year since my husband returned home from his 18 month deployment. I just wanted to say how nice it was to read this article, as people so often have an idealized version of what it must be like when a soldier returns home.
I have lived and breathed those same feelings, with four young children at home. Out of milk or bread at the wrong time, I've been the mother in the supermarket line with the crying baby, overtired toddler, and older children who are having a sad day thinking about Daddy. I've gotten the unsympathetic stares from strangers, and learned not to share that Daddy is deployed after being verbally assaulted with my children in tow... with angry announcements that my husband is a murderer.
And yet the number of people who were supportive of our family far outweigh those who aren't. The small gestures of kindness and tokens of gratitude were so appreciated. And yet, sometimes all we really needed was someone to help with the overwhelmingly real things of everyday life. The laundry, dinner, or a quick trip to the store by ourselves to pick up diapers at 11pm when you're unexpectedly out and have to take all the kids with you to pick up such a basic necessity.
Readjustment, too is not something people factor in, when thinking of a deployment. Quite honestly the first 3 months were the hardest, and after a year, we finally feel whole as a family again. And orders came in for another deployment. Thankfully the last set of orders, which came last month, and would have had him sent immediately were still within the one-year period when he was non-deployable, and this set of orders is still a long way out...
But thank you for sharing the all too real slice of life, and being open about your feelings. Maybe it will help others to see a less idealized version of what things are like for those of us left at home. My husband also says it was a much harder job for me to be here than it was for him to be there.
posted by : A fellow army wife on 12/22/2008 at 8:33 AM Flag For Abuse
