feedback for "Older, Wiser and Pregnant"

1. thanks for the article. it was like reading about myself and, not that it matters, i totally support the choices you made.  i really, really identify--i got pg at 40, at 41 delivered an awesome boy who is now 11 months old (and presently glued to baby einstein or i wouldn't be able to be sitting here typing).  so please do not take the following as a flame or a judgment.  on your "logical checklist" i hope you included something that you didn't mention in the article along with health insurance and the means to get a bigger apartment: a really good shrink. 
   
   you probably already have one, i know i do.  you must know that your need to become a mom suddenly, after so long, was probably triggered by issues related to losing your mom and your best friend.  no "soul sister" to call?  now you have a child, you deliberately made a connection that can never be broken and will, god willing, outlive you.  you got pg to meet your needs, and to some degree, we all do.  but think about it:  you have no mention of your thoughts on the value of a father to your child (not husband or boyfriend to you).  on the contrary, the father is immaterial as long as he is "smart and kind."  he won't be immaterial to your son.  you even literally objectify your son at one point.  (i'm not saying you don't love him.)  all this is to say, be careful.  when it's that much about you, it's hard to let them (and help them) be who they are, not who you want them to be.
   
   congratulations and enjoy every second.  parenting is miraculous.
   
   

   posted by : ffp on 7/26/2007 at 2:00 PM Flag For Abuse

2. I think if you're going to write an article like this, you have to reveal your age. I don't know why the writer didn't and why the editor didn't insist on it. It makes a huge difference whether she was 36 or 44.

   posted by : passerby on 2/6/2008 at 4:42 PM Flag For Abuse

3. I agree with passerby that the actual age of the writer makes a huge difference. I gave birth to my first baby at 36 and twins at 38. I also had genetic testing with both pregnancies, but wasn't anxious about it at all despite having three miscarriages along the way. I live in a New York suburb and "elderly primiparas" as we used to be called, are absolutely no cause for comment by anyone, including medical professionals.

   posted by : ancient mama on 3/10/2008 at 2:51 PM Flag For Abuse

4. I was 41 when my son was born and he's almost 2 now. I had all of the testing and I too held my breath until all of the results were in. I worried and fretted, but deep in my heart I knew it was going to be ok and I told my husband I was pregnant before I even had my panties back on in the examining room! (then I called all of my friends) I know, I broke the rules but I felt that no matter how things turned out I'd share it with them and I wanted everybody to know how happy I was at that moment.
   
   I'm not sure where ffp is coming from, that's an awful lot of presumption and projection based on very little information.

   posted by : SCMama on 4/21/2008 at 9:39 PM Flag For Abuse

5. The more I read about "ancient mamas" and mothers of "advanced maternal age," the more astounded and grateful I am for my son.  I was 45 when I got pregnant naturally. My son was my first child and he was born 8 lbs. 15 oz. and perfectly healthy.  I had no complications--no nausea, no diabetes, no constipation, only a bit of heartburn and in the last month, swollen feet.    I, too, felt the heightened anxiety all the way through the fifth month when finally I was no longer being sent to a specialist and was considered to be having a "normal pregnancy."  Until then every doctor would mention my chances of having a baby with genetic defects.  I felt like a freak and an imposter.  Who was I to pretend I was pregnant like those other young women I saw in the waiting room?
   
   I hope  that ob/gyns  get some sensitivity training.  More of us "older" women are getting pregnant and we are very concerned about what might or might not be happening in our wombs.  To scare us, to constantly alert us to the realities of what could go wrong is not all that helpful.  In the end, I felt a bit robbed of the excitement of pregnancy.  I concentrated more on the potential complications than on how exciting it was that there was life growing inside of me.  When I think back on my pregnancy I remember the fear.
   
   My son is now 21/2, his father and I are married, and we have started to build the family I always wanted but couldn't start because I didn't have the right man in my life.  I feel blessed and I hope that more women get blessed.  "Older" women make wise, responsible, and exhausted mothers....

   posted by : mother of 2 year old son on 3/19/2009 at 1:06 PM Flag For Abuse

6. I find it slightly ironic that the acronym used for advance maternal age is the same as against medical advice.  My aunt was 32 when she got pregnant and her OB/GYN in Phoenix categorized her as "high risk".  I think that was crazy.

   posted by : chellyelizabeth on 4/29/2009 at 11:59 AM Flag For Abuse

7. Hmmm, where to start.  Here I sit having just read this article - I will be 47 this summer and I have a 5 year old (born just before my 42nd birthday) and I just put my almost-2.5 year old down for a nap (born when I was 44).  I chose not to have any of the testing - I knew the risks, all explained to me by my lovely Ob-Gyn who also totally supported my choice to opt out.  Sometimes, too much information is not a good thing.  Maybe I am a freak of nature, I don't know, but I just knew these babies were fine - and they are more than that - they are gorgeous, smart and gifts from God.  My second was born in less than an hour on Christmas Eve; I went home on Christmas Day in time to stuff and cook the turkey for our dinner guests, cradling my beautiful newborn in my arms.  I was back into my size 4 jeans a week later.  Yes, other women used many descriptive words to describe my experience (I think one started with b and ended with h) but nobody ever said much about my age - my doctor laughed and encouraged me to have another.  I know people who are 35ish and talking as if the sky is falling.  I think our society is nuts.  Just let people live their lives and stop analyzing and obsessing so much.  I think people forget that age can be an arbitrary thing - some people peak in their 60s in terms of artistic output.  Many people really come into themselves at 50.  And I still turn heads when I walk into a room - even at my "advanced" age.  And lets not forget that advanced can also mean "ahead of the game"....

   posted by : stillayummymummy on 6/12/2009 at 2:13 PM Flag For Abuse