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Great article! I try to breastfeed just about everywhere with a little bit of discretion. My baby does not like to have her head covered, so I do not use a hooter hider or blanket. I worked in southern Africa and breastfeeding was also done very publicly. We are a backwards culture in many ways! There is nothing obscene about breastfeeding and it is our duty as mothers to spread the word by doing it publicly and not judging other mothers if they do not use a cloth or an $80 hooter hider.
posted by : Jelly09 on 6/15/2009 at 9:05 AM Flag For Abuse
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I moved to Mexico a few months ago, and when I nurse my baby in public, or even in private, the only people who seem to have any reaction at all are visiting American relatives. Every time my brother brings friends to my house or introduces me to friends in public he apologizes in a fit of embarrassment for the fact that I am nursing. My sister and my teenage children have freaked out when I didn't shroud my baby's breastfeeding activities in secrecy. There are at least four statues and sculptures of breastfeeding women around town here in Ensenada. Aside from my American family members, no one here seems to pay any attention to the fact that I am breast feeding at all. I think my relatives are too busy uncomfortably trying to avert their eyes from my boobs to realize that they are the only ones looking.
posted by : Gina Cochina on 6/15/2009 at 10:44 AM Flag For Abuse
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Hooter Hiders cost $80? Holy crap! My SIL has several. What kind of awesome stuff could she have gotten instead and just used an apron with no strings, or made one herself. This is ridiculous!
(I get the feeling I'm outraged about the wrong thing, LOL)
posted by : SamanthaH on 6/15/2009 at 10:51 AM Flag For Abuse
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SamanthaH, I think you're absolutely right in your outrage! How ridiculous that women are encouraged to spend unnecessary amounts of $$ (that could be put to much better use) in an effort to hide something so natural!
I am a breastfeeding mother and while I have also made use of the grungy ladies' lounge in department stores, I have yet to feed in the open. I don't know why. I would like to think that I'm not embarrased, but maybe at my core I really am. I have heard so many derogatory (sp?) comments spewed forth by people I know who have seen women feed in public. It's so stupid. I think I'll slap my friends the next time I hear one of them say something negative about a breastfeeding mom and her baby. Or maybe I'll just whip my own boob out and slap them with that instead.
posted by : Millertime on 6/15/2009 at 10:58 AM Flag For Abuse
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Millertime, that mental image of you slapping your negative friends with your boob made my day. Priceless.
I loved this article. I agree with the above commenter in saying that we are a backwards culture-why are we ashamed to feed our children? People aren't afraid to use a bottle in public, but they scorn those who are feeding their child. I always feel so sad for women who are hiding in a corner with a giant blanket over their head.
People need to wake up and realize what a convoluted view they have. They are not shocked by the blatant sex we see being marketed in movies and tv, but the idea of a mother providing sustenance to their child is horrifying to them. How sad.
posted by : LadyJayne on 6/15/2009 at 11:34 AM Flag For Abuse
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The author is seriously suggesting the Ivory Coast as a model to be followed regarding the perception and treatment of women? Is the author aware that 60% of the women in this country have undergone female genital mutilation?
Is it a co-incidence that in this society in which the breast is de-sexualized, is also a society in which women are forcibly, surgicallly, truly de-sexualized? Perhaps. But then again, perhaps it makes more sense to consider the entire set of culture mores of a society together, rather than trying to pick and choose bits from each - like items off a salad bar.
Overall, the west African treatment of women is probably not something we really want to import.
posted by : ALittleContextPlease on 6/15/2009 at 11:40 AM Flag For Abuse
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("Peals" of laughter. Not "peels." Unless, you know, a carrot scraper is involved.)
My experience in the Sahel was similar with regard to breastfeeding - no one thought twice about a woman's exposed breast in such a context.
But there were plenty of other prohibitions and constraints on women's behavior. Menstrual "uncleanness." Genital infibulation. The sometimes disadvantaged positions of second/third/etc. wives. And even a strong negative reaction to women crying out in pain in childbirth.
I think it's a real mistake to take West Africa - which is hardly a monolithic cultural entity, by the way; practices differ from subregion to subregion, and some are far more liberal than others - as any kind of model for women's public and sexual roles.
posted by : Laura Harger on 6/15/2009 at 12:12 PM Flag For Abuse
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I guess I am lucky, living in San Francisco nobody ever gave me a problem when I nursed in public. In France, where my family is from, it is absolutely unheard of to breastfeed in public. However, they have better maternity leave policies.
My point is that there is no perfect place. (Seriously, West Africa is far from perfect as far as women are concerned.)
posted by : Cali mom on 6/15/2009 at 1:40 PM Flag For Abuse
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Although I agree that the other commenters have correctly pointed out that West African females have a whole host of challenges to face (genital mutilation, etc.), I'm not sure the critique is entirely fair. It seems to me that this author is simply using the contrast between the two cultures to highlight the perhaps overtly objectified breast in the West.
I enjoyed the article overall, it really brought back memories. I must admit, I would rather nurse in a dank restroom than have to set up my breast pump (the horror is still with me). I remember doing a residency in New Orleans when my son was about 5 months old and I had to feed him balanced in a high school bathroom toilet without a proper seat. I got really good that week at using hidden abdominal muscles I had no idea I still had to retain my balance. I cannot imagine what young high school males would have done had they seen my breast out at recess.
posted by : Tiff H on 6/15/2009 at 2:29 PM Flag For Abuse
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Great article. Thanks for sharing. I think most of us can relate to this. I, for one, did find myself in dirty dark corners of bathroom ladies lounges on more than one occasion. But when I had visitors over to my home, the baby ruled the room. Of course it was in my home, but it didn't matter who was there. If the baby was hungry, she ate comfortably at home in front of family and friends. Either way, I do agree that babies and moms should be able to breastfeed where and how they feel most comfortable.
posted by : babysok on 6/15/2009 at 3:45 PM Flag For Abuse
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Breasts: decorative and functional too.
All the breastfeeding cover-up acoutrement are not only expensvie, I think they draw more attention to the nursing pair. I won't go on about my NIP experiences, but moms, next time you see another mother nursing nervously on a bench in the mall, out in the open, give her a warm smile.
posted by : roxieridgie on 6/15/2009 at 3:48 PM Flag For Abuse
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I know this is not everyone's experience, but I breastfed my son openly in public places and never heard a word of criticism. I whipped out my boob, occasionally flashed a nipple, and never used a hooter hider, though I did try to be as discreet as possible, in malls, airports across the "conservative South," airplanes, museums, movie theaters, public parks, restaurants (even nice ones, even at dinner!), and Catholic churches during Mass, and never had one person say boo to me for over a year. I can understand if you don't feel comfortable with this yourself, but if you're a nursing mom feeling frustrated with where you're feeding your baby, just do it. You're doing a great job. :)
posted by : Mhristie on 6/15/2009 at 3:55 PM Flag For Abuse
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i loved this essay. can't wait to read the next one.
posted by : Sheila on 6/15/2009 at 4:21 PM Flag For Abuse
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I see people here in the comments talking about how West Africa is a poor example to use in this argument because of how much better it is in general for women in the U.S. than it is in West Africa.
I actually think the fact that women face more hardship in West Africa makes West Africa great example to use. Perhaps instead of defending our own culture by pointing out how much worse things are for women in another place, we should be wondering why our attitudes toward breastfeeding women here are worse than they are in part of the world where women are so otherwise mistreated. Even in West Africa, where girls are mutilated and men take multiple wives, they do not shame nursing mothers as we do here. Western attitudes toward breastfeeding sounds exceptionally pathetic to me when I think of it that way.
posted by : Jaelithe on 6/15/2009 at 4:41 PM Flag For Abuse
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I had a much different experience. When my son was born he had a very difficult time latching on, so we needed a lot of quiet, which resulted in me wanting a private space to nurse. I kept getting comments from my friends and family to not be afraid to nurse in front of them. Although that was not the reason I was going in the other room, it really encouraged me to not worry about nursing in public once we got the hang of it.
I nursed practically everywhere, and never got one negative comment. It shows how different each part of the US is.
One thing I would like to comment on - maybe some people are a little shy the first time they see a mother breastfeeding her baby, but that does not mean they want you to go hide yourself. Often, they just don't know if it is proper for them to look, or if they should give you some space. I think most people want to do the right thing, but are not clear on the etiquette of how they should act.
posted by : Laure on 6/15/2009 at 4:47 PM Flag For Abuse
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I agree completely with Mhristie. With my first child, I was so concerned about feeding the baby in public, I often either avoided going out at all or nursed in my car. I also spent alot of time in ladies lounges, though I drew the line at nursing in a toilet stall. But I had a friend who lived in Manhattan and was much more confident about nursing and her baby was born after mine. She often just nursed her son when he was hungry - no matter where we were and who we were with. And, guess what? It was no big deal. It was fine. No one made rude comments. If anyone was uncomfortable, they just had to deal with it. I never saw or heard anyone make nasty comments.
So with my second child, I decided that is what I would do - when he was hungry, I'd feed him. I wouldn't leave the room and go sit by myself. I've nursed him in restaurants, in the mall, at the zoo, even walking through Target (I've gotten good at nursing him while I walk around). Most of the time, no one notices. The only comments I've gotten have been from other nursing mothers who have told me - wow, that is great that you are able to just feed him here. If you are a nursing mother, just feed the baby where you are comfortable - with a cover or without. You'll soon realize that if you don't make a big deal out of it, others won't either!
posted by : Mom of Two Sons on 6/15/2009 at 4:59 PM Flag For Abuse
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I think the most interesting part of this story is that you REMEMBER
your aunt nursing. Imagine how much more comfortable women would be
nursing in the open if, as girls, they had seen it happen all the
time. Imagine how comfortable men would be if, as boys, they had seen
it happen all the time. It actually would be completely normal and
natural instead of the fake normal and natural (lip service) that
everyone pretends it is. It would not have the power to derail a
dinner conversation taking place amongst seemingly educated,
open-minded folks... or uneducated, closed-minded people for that
matter... It would just truly be the norm.
Perhaps.
posted by : Mama Rati on 6/15/2009 at 5:05 PM Flag For Abuse
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..."The rights of the breast belong to the baby. It is simply not an erotic part of the body."...
I found this to be such an interesting quote. Perhaps one could complain about the de-sexualization of the breast, reducing it to "only" a nutritional instrument, and perhaps such a critique would be somewhat justified. But in the US the general population seems to have such a problem imagining breasts as *anything other than* sexual that it gets in the way of the breasts' natural function. I don't know anyone personally who has complained about the desexualization of her breasts, but it seems that more than a few baby/parenting magazines have articles dedicated to women who are totally turned off to breastfeeding only because they don't want their breasts to be "not sexy."
My friends and family have never given me any grief about nursing, because all of us nurse. I do tend to use some sort of coverup around males (receiving blankets are way cheaper than Hooter Hiders!) when the baby doesn't mind, but unless I actually need to leave the room because the baby's having a hard time concentrating, I stay put. I should say, too, that I belong to a conservative religious group of friends, and I actually think that this has something to do with the lack of discomfort on the part of my male friends. The majority of my female friends stay home with the kids full time, and our husbands totally support breastfeeding as a "natural" part of the family. I wouldn't be surprised if this is true across a lot of conservative Christian circles, and I think that the author's implicit digs about this (apparently, it's only because her friends are enlightened hippies that they wouldn't be uncomfortable around a breast), as well as some comments above and some I've seen in other threads, reflect at least some measure of ignorance as to how *real* conservatives might behave. Granted, not all conservatives, but at least a good few of us.
posted by : ChiLaura on 6/15/2009 at 5:08 PM Flag For Abuse
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ChiLaura, your comment on Conservative Christians was pretty funny. It reminded me about an article abot nudists that discussed the fact that they are generally very religious conservative Christians for the most part and not the crazy hippies most Americans assume they are.
I showed my husband the Hooter Hider on Amazon and to say the least it has been the one thing that I have been forbidden to buy. He was kind of astounded by the idea of spending so much money to pretty much draw attention to the fact you are breastfeeding when you get down to it. Maybe it has something to do with him being Swedish. His only problem with women breastfeeding is that he is never sure whether it is rude to look at the baby while it is attached (I am always pointing out cute babies to him). Otherwise, he really seems to not care either way.
posted by : Shana on 6/15/2009 at 5:22 PM Flag For Abuse
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Like many of the others here, my experience was quite different. I nursed in public, at the table at dinner parties, nearly wherever. My friends never cared, in the public I never had comments or surprised reactions. Or maybe I just didn't care enough to look around and see who might be disapproving.
posted by : April C on 6/15/2009 at 6:38 PM Flag For Abuse
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Great article
I was surprised by how easy it was to nurse my second in public. With my first baby I was too nervous, too self conscious etc. I even nursed in the middle of a funeral a few months ago. I've never had a single negative comment.
posted by : Spartic on 6/15/2009 at 7:57 PM Flag For Abuse
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Great article. In response to ALittleContextPlease's argument -- I think it's true that the larger cultural context of West Africa (and we should probably be more specific than that, given that it's a large and culturally varied region) is important to consider.
But I don't think it's reasonable to suggest that because a culture has some (or even many) practices that we view as unfavorable we shouldn't be able to celebrate those that we *do* view as favorable.
Look at it from a foreigner's perspective: if someone in West Africa wrote an article celebrating the (relative) sexual freedom of women in the U.S., would you say that they shouldn't / can't, because in the U.S. women and their bodies are also highly objectivized in much of our popular culture, advertising, etc.? Or because our culture imposes unrealistic expectations of beauty / thinness / etc. on women?
I mean, sure, if you're going to write a book on the subject, that's one thing. But a 1000-word essay about attitudes toward public breastfeeding for a parenting website? A little context please!
posted by : Jane Roper on 6/15/2009 at 8:36 PM Flag For Abuse
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Great article. I had a similar experience to the author's when I breastfed in "public" for the first time, in front of my rather conservative in-laws. I was so tired that I forgot to bring a blanket to cover up, so I just whipped out the boob and fed my screaming kid. I vaguely remember my sister-in-law asking me several times whether I'd be more comfortable in her spare bedroom (which was freezing cold and crowded with junk), and I'm sure my father-in-law was mortified, but it didn't occur to me to care. What mattered was that my kid was hungry. After that, I fed my son wherever we were in public, sometimes covering up, sometimes not. The only comment I ever got was at a museum, where an older woman told me that she was happy to see someone breastfeeding in the open and she wished more women would follow suit so that people would get over their discomfort with what's an incredibly natural act.
posted by : csnjca on 6/15/2009 at 8:37 PM Flag For Abuse
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Interesting article. I spent a year in Zambia working as a missionary nurse and had a similar experience. Moms would nurse their babies anywhere- it was quite common for several members of the church choir to have babies latched on while singing at the front of church during a service. However, most rural Zambian women were very modest in other ways- for example they would never show their legs down to the ankles. Even in the hospital if a patient needed to show a part of her leg she would keep the rest of it covered. So taboos often exist whether they are about showing breast, legs, or other body parts.
posted by : NPMommy on 6/15/2009 at 9:00 PM Flag For Abuse
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I thought it was an excellent article. I breastfed my baby multiple times in public and she was one of those babies who yanked any type of blanket off her head. I did what I had to and although there were multiple looks of discomfort, I figured it was their burden to bear. I wasn't going to be uncomfortable with a hungry baby for their comfort.
It was weird to see my own dad uncomfortable when I breastfed my daughter. My male friends seemed a lot less uncomfortable than him. Hopefully attitudes are changing as more women breastfeed and are involved with activities outside the home necessitating feeding in public. We can educate our families and children so our daughters don't feel obliged to feed our grandchildren in bathrooms.
It is legal to breastfeed in public and it is illegal for an employer to expect you to pump in a bathroom. (Who prepares the family meal in a bathroom?! Gross!) The author was trying to make a point that in West Africa, the breast is for food but, ultimately, who cares what they do in any other country? We, as American women, should strive to change attitudes so that, if not in our lifetime, in our daughters' lifetimes they will benefit from our persistence and insistence on breastfeeding when our babies need us to.
posted by : JB on 6/15/2009 at 9:14 PM Flag For Abuse
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I nursed my son for a year and although it was uncomfortable at first, I was determined to nurse him almost anywhere. I covered up occasionally, but depending on what I was wearing, I often did not. When I was in a very public and/or crowded space, I would sometimes turn towards a wall or sit in a less-crowded area, at least while the baby latched on, but that was my only concession. My husband, friends and family where uber supportive, and if strangers had a problem with it, they never vocalized it. All this, and I live in Alabama! Like so many things in life, I think the response you get depends largely on your attitude about it. Perhaps my casual no-nonsense approach dared anyone to say anything to me. If they had, they likely would have have been met with a polite, "F*** you."
posted by : terram on 6/15/2009 at 9:31 PM Flag For Abuse
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In many African cultures, breasts are simply not sexualized. They're organs for feeding babies and that's it. In the American culture, for better or worse, breasts ARE sexualized. I don't think that just because something is natural that it ought to be done in public. I breastfed my daughter for almost 4 years, but always had a bottle of expressed breast milk with me when I went out with her. I don't begrudge any nursing mother the right to breastfeed in public, but it is just something I've never been comfortable with.
posted by : modest mom on 6/15/2009 at 9:37 PM Flag For Abuse
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After nursing once in a public restroom, I decided that I would never, never do that again. I try to be modest, and I don't act embarrassed about what I'm doing, hoping that non-breastfeeders will be chill about it and that maybe I'll inspire another breastfeeder. I'd rather get into an argument in public though, about my right to feed my child than ever, ever sit on a toilet to nurse my baby. I don't bring food for myself into the bathroom; why would I do it for my child?
posted by : baby1st on 6/15/2009 at 10:14 PM Flag For Abuse
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You cant have it both ways. One minute women want to have their boobs shoved in a push up to entice men then the next they want everyone to ignore them because they want to breastfeed. In the US women and men have sexualized breasts. Period. You cant change it. In W. Africa women' bodies are not sexualized since they are not allowed to enjoy sex at all. Sex is for men. These sorts of arguments are just as stupid as the family bed and home birth arguments. People in other cultures do things differently. You cannot pick and choose what to admire about a culture and ignore the rest of it. It is all connected. People have famliy beds in Ghana because they have no place else to sleep. Women have more homebirths in England because their socialized medicine is so crappy they are afraid to go to hosptitals. If you do need 30 minutes of adult conversation then hand the baby to your husband with a bottle. Giving up grown up time is a price we sometimes have to pay to care for our young. It wont last long.
posted by : Ali on 6/16/2009 at 12:19 AM Flag For Abuse
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Ali- considering most of the commenters have remarked that they've had very supportive people in their lives who DON'T have a problem with them breastfeeding, I don't know why you felt the need to make negative comments about women breastfeeding in the US- unless you mean to point out that You have a problem with women breastfeeding in public. In which case I would recommend you staying out of public to shield your delicate westernized pornified breast eyes.
posted by : marywho on 6/16/2009 at 12:37 AM Flag For Abuse
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Just wanted chime in that I also freely nurse in public and have never had any weirdness or comments, either from my companions or from the general public. I try to be discreet but my baby won't tolerate any covering on her head. I used to be a little uncomfortable with that (I always used a blanket w/ my first), but I got over it. I figure my screaming child is more disruptive than a possible nip slip. And I'm not sure why I'm supposed to go to the bathroom, per Ali? Almost none of my breast is ever showing at all. I guess people are uncomfortable seeing this sexual object as food and in proximity to children? I mean, I manage to see things as sexual in one context and not sexual in others. If I find a co-worker attractive, I might have a little fantasy, but the minute we have to work together, that's all gone. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, you know? Are people really so challenged to behave differently around breasts-as-food than around breasts-as-sex-object? If so, I'd say it's their problem, not mine.
posted by : patricia on 6/16/2009 at 7:28 AM Flag For Abuse
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Ali, I just re-read your comment and realized I attributed something to you that you may not have meant. You didn'i specifically say that a nnursing mom should go to the bathroom to nurse, though I think the implication was that a nursing mom should absent herself if the baby won't take a bottle. Anyway, I just wanted to be clear about what I took away from your comment.
As to wanting my boobs to be ignored while breastfeeding, that's really not it. I don't care if people look- there isn't much to see. And if any man came up to me all "Hubba hubba!" because I'm breastfeeding, that's just his own weirdness. It would annoy me, but no worse. I think again, it gets back to everyone else's hangups. They are ot my problem. I'm not sure why they should be my problem.
posted by : patricia on 6/16/2009 at 9:45 AM Flag For Abuse
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You don't have to travel as far as Africa to witness this. One of the greatest culture shocks for a Scandinavian travelling to the US is the attitude towards nursing.
In Scandinavia, where I currently live, no one bats an eye if you breastfeed in public. Breastfeeding woman even have the right (by law!) to 1 hour off work every day to continue breastfeeding for as long as they like. I NEVER sunbathe in public, and would never pose for a nude photo, but found myself breastfeeding at dinner parties (with non breeders present& males present), at work (when my husband, on his paid parental leave, dads get at least 8 weeks, stopped by with our daughter) , at gourmet restaurants, even in church with my parents on Christmas Eve.
In the US I feel it´s kinda like with gays kissing in public. The more people do it, the more normal it will become, and in the end hardly anyone will bat an eye. You can't stop doing things that is natural and normal just because someone finds it "icky".
Like Nike I'll say: JUST DO IT ;-)
posted by : Scandinavian Mom on 6/16/2009 at 12:15 PM Flag For Abuse
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Loved the article!
I breastfeed whenever and wherever, nursing tops make it easy and discreet. I always felt that cover ups make what you're doing more obvious.
I have a very religiously conservative father-in-law and before the baby came I wondered how he was going to feel about my open attitude toward nursing (I nursed until age three and my brothers nursed to age five--never under cover!). Well, I think his religious conservatism actually makes him more accepting. To him I am using my breasts for what God intended. He's even suggested I nurse my little one when she fusses at the table during prayers!
I don't mind nursing in public, and now that my little darling is 6 months I miss it--she's so distractible that I have to remove myself to a quiet corner to get her to eat a full meal. I have found that my local Nordstrom has the nicest ladies lounges and I appreciate the quiet space they provide for mothers even though I miss being out and about in the action!
posted by : NJ mommy on 6/16/2009 at 9:30 PM Flag For Abuse
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I dunno, it does seem a bit odd to want breasts completely desexualized one moment, then stuff them into a sexy low-cut dress the next. At that point you're telling everyone they should only have reactions or emotions based on what you want them to have at any given moment. You can't control other people's reactions like that. Fact is, culturally, breasts have been sexualized in many, many cultures for centuries. When there are no more sexy dresses, and no more porn, then the boobs = food culture will have won. To some extent it seems the best way to do it would be to see the body as completely non-sexy, it's just a baby-making factory. That can get complicated though.
Also, I agree that every bit of a culture is connected to the other apects of that same culture. Cherry-picking what you like doesn't tend to work because what you like is often sociologically connected to things that you don't like.
That said, although I always avert my eyes from a woman breast-feeding, and am embarassed and will often break off conversation and leave the room...I would never begrudge them the choice to do it. I would never say anything rude to them. It is their right to do it and be unabashed. It is just also my right to be uncomfortable. And no, I'm not a conservative Christian. I'm a liberal, gay-marriage supporting atheist.
posted by : Marj on 6/16/2009 at 11:12 PM Flag For Abuse
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"women have a right to breastfeed and babies have a right to be breastfed and because we lead busy lives, we have to do it in public." Damn straight! I deleted the modifier, because I think the right stands on its own.
Whip 'em out, strong mamas!
I guess I'm not that modest, or I just couldn't be bothered to cover up when I was nursing. It seemed to hot and claustrophobic to cover up.
I remember thinking before my baby was born that surely there'd be some men I'd feel self-conscious nurising in front of (my father, my father-in-law), but when the time came I didn't. It just felt natural and right to feed my baby when she was hungry, period.
I think the Talmud compares the nursing breast to an elbow. In other words, not any more or less erotic than other functioning parts of your body.
This subject merits more discussion. In particular, it bums me out that American women (more than any others on the planet) spend so much time and $$ pumping breast milk instead of nursing their babies. Sure, breast milk is pretty magical stuff. But how much of the benefit is in the liquid as opposed to in the contact? And for that matter, wouldn't it benefit mothers and babies who choose not to breast feed just to spend more time together? Laws should aim at protecting our right to have the time as well as the space to feed our babies the way nature intended, rather than shutting us into depressing little "nursing rooms" in offices (which are better than nothing - I don't mean to totally knock 'em).
If you spend 20 minutes pumping 2 or 3 times a day at your office... wouldn't you rather spend that extra 40-60 min with your baby? I sure as heck would. Work is important, so is nursing. We shouldn't have to sacrifice either.
posted by : Imama on 6/17/2009 at 10:58 AM Flag For Abuse
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I have been thinking about what Chilaura said, and I think she is absolutely right. We assume that conservative religious people will be against breastfeeding in public, when I have found the exact opposite. My in-laws are religious and pretty conservative and were all for nursing when the baby was hungry and never wanted me to hide. However, like I said earlier, my family is from France, where people have no problem with breasts exposed on the beach, but would be horrified at someone nursing in public. (They actually have much lower breastfeeding rates than here in the US.)
Also, I remember watching Bill Maher, who is normally making fun of how prudish Americans are are talking about how nudity is no big deal. However, on one of his shows, he went on this long rant about how awful it was that women nursed their kids in public, and how they were doing it just to get attention. (Huh?)
Maybe it has more to do with people's attitudes towards children?
posted by : Cali mom on 6/17/2009 at 12:46 PM Flag For Abuse
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I enjoyed breastfeeding but didn't do it in public much, because I thought it was an intimate activity, and I didn't particularly want anyone else involved. I also didn't like anyone seeing my boob. And not because I was afraid they would sexualize my breast -- that's the weirdest notion ever offered as the reason people don't like public breastfeeding and I believe it's very wrong -- but I didn't want people thinking about my breasts in any way. Not even as baby food.
But honestly, I also wasn't crazy about being "the nursing mother." I think having a child is awesome and I love my daughter, but there's no reason the rest of the world needs to bow down to her needs. She's hungry? That's my problem, not the entire restaurant's. I'd find a quiet place, like a bench, to sit and feed her, and make as big a deal out of it as I would with a bottle or a jar of fruit.
People in this country come from different cultures and religions and backgrounds, and we have certain levels of protection. I do think public breastfeeding should be protected, and we shouldn't feel bad for that protection. But it's too much to require everyone to like or believe the same things and I wish people would stop trying.
posted by : nursedandcovered on 6/17/2009 at 4:26 PM Flag For Abuse
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My understanding is that, anthropologically speaking, the reason large breasts are considered attractive is because heterosexual men are hardwired to associated them with successful breastfeeding - i.e. men seek out women with great breasts because these breasts will ensure the survival of the species. Although western cultures have taken this to a ridiculous extreme, it's unfair that some commenters have said you can't have it both ways. It's not one or the other - they're inherently connected. However, while a non-nursing breast is considered attractive in our culture, a nursing one? I've never heard anyone thinking that's sexy! That's crazy.
If you don't want to nurse in public, then don't.
If you don't want to see someone nurse in public, then look away.
At the centre of this debate isn't actually a woman's right to breastfeed in public. At the centre of this debate is a baby's right to be fed in the way nature intended. Unless women are to be sequestered until they're finished nursing, the only way forward is for everyone to crack open those minds and realize your personal hangups should not dictate public policy.
Especially in a country that bores everyone endlessly about its commitment to 'family values'.
posted by : Voice of Reason on 6/17/2009 at 5:43 PM Flag For Abuse
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What great timing! There's a Blog Carnival of Breastfeeding going on right now - on the subject of nursing in public!
You can read my post (and get links to other posts) here:
http://whozatshrike.blogspot.com/2009/06/carnival-of-breastfeeding-nursing-in.html
posted by : Beth Shupp-George on 6/19/2009 at 4:31 PM Flag For Abuse
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Nursed and covered, I hope you can see how your personal ideals would work best for 1) women who don't have very many children, and can mostly seclude themselves for a year or two, or 2) women who have large families but stay in their homes and don't go out for most of their childbearing lives. For women who have large families and spend many years nursing young children, and for women who want or need to be engaged in public in any way, the right to nurse in public is essential. It is a feminist issue and a public health issue - and the public health part means that when your child is hungry, it is in some small way everybody's problem, not just yours.While you can't "require" other people to believe these things, you can at least lay out your reasoning and hope that you can persuade as many people as possible. If you "stop trying" to do that, then someday you may find that some of the rights we enjoy have evaporated, simply because there is no longer public support for them.
Voice of reason is absolutely correct.
posted by : catmom on 6/21/2009 at 10:49 PM Flag For Abuse
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I agree with babysok that perhaps some public nursers get attention because they DRAW it with hooter hiders or visible discomfort/nervousness. I have nursed two babies in public quite a bit and never gotten so much as a stare (hostile or lascivious). Maybe this is because I barely break my stride when popping my babe on the boob. I lift my shirt from beneath, quickly let the baby latch on, then let the hem of my shirt rest on her ear. The breast is hidden by my shirt and the baby's head, and my bare midriff is hidden by the baby's body. So I don't feel self-conscious and thus, nobody else seems to either. It's simply no big deal. Recently on a road trip, I nursed my 8-month-old in a booth in a Waffle House in southern Alabama. There I DID expect some good ol' boy fish eyes, but got none. Nurse with nonchalance and confidence, in my opinion, and you'll be rewarded with respect. Or indifference, which is just as good!
posted by : mamascribe on 7/1/2009 at 3:22 PM Flag For Abuse
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Guiana [sic] is in South America, Guinea is in West Africa. Very interesting discussion. Other cultures can learn a lot from each other.
posted by : france f on 7/4/2009 at 5:57 PM Flag For Abuse
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Late to the party but I would LOVE a hooter hider with a picture of a mud flap girl or a Playboy cover printed on it. I think that would be hilarious with the tagline of "that's what they're for!"
Like so many of the previous posters I only had positive comments made to me when I nursed my son. I am hoping that I will be able to nurse the next one with as little problems. We will see.
posted by : Heather Forehand on 7/9/2009 at 6:33 PM Flag For Abuse
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I don't have kids yet, but hopefully will soon, and I CAN'T WAIT for someone to give me sh*t about breastfeeding in public. I am *psyched* for the moment someone questions my right to feed my baby while being part of adult human society, and for the can of whoop-ass I will then open on that person.
Seriously, it is one of my most treasured parenting fantasies!
posted by : JustTryMe on 7/31/2009 at 3:08 PM Flag For Abuse
