feedback for "Five-Minute Time Out: Ralph Nader"

1. I think Madeline was a little soft on Ralph. I can't believe he thinks that his mother never complained about her job. If I had heard him say this:
   
   "It was a different generation, they didn't complain. They knew it was part of the job — just like a doctor doesn't go to work and complain that they have to take care of patients. Mothers were active in the community, they were raising kids. These were fulfilling tasks."
   
   I think I might have had a follow up question for him. Parenting is hard and not all of it is fulfilling - sometimes it's irksome, sometimes it's boring. I think since he doesn't have kids he can't have this perspective and he is just looking at his own childhood with some rose-colored glasses.
   
   

   posted by : jackiebp on 9/7/2007 at 12:29 PM Flag For Abuse

2. Damn right, I bet his mother complained.  She probably had a best friend or a gang of coffee friends and I would bet my foot that she bitched and moaned just like the rest of us do.   On the other hand, Ralph has a point that kids don't know anything about basic things like mowing the lawn, washing dishes by hand, etc, because there's always someone or some machine to do that for them.  I myself am dealing with this now, because I want to learn how to sew.  That's something that all girls learned at one point, and now I can count on one hand the number of people I know who can sew.  I also would like to learn how to bake bread without my bread machine.  It's these basic, little-house-on-the-prairie skills that I don't have and I feel like I should.   And which is why I fully intend to teach my daughter how to sew.  How to knit.  How to bake bread.  How to change a tire.  How to change the oil.  How to mow the lawn.  How to take a hammer and some wood and some nails and some paint and build something.  I'd rather she learn these things than learn how Mama became so good at Tetris.   So I think Ralph is kind of right on with saying that our kids need to learn these things.  I'll fit them in between violin practice, soccer, French lessons, tennis lessons, ballet, and fencing.  ;-)

   posted by : RachelZ on 9/7/2007 at 3:40 PM Flag For Abuse

3. Madeline- This is your second article I've read (the first was how you were so embarrassed that your second child was so much dumber (i.e. slower) than your first... disgusting)... I'm not impressed nor do I consider you worthy of interviewing anyone if this is how you talk to them. It's fine to disagree and critique this book, but have you no pride in yourself to even be considerate of someone and treat them with respect? Grow up.

   posted by : sophiesmuma on 9/8/2007 at 6:03 PM Flag For Abuse

4. I would bet Nadar  never heard his Mom complaining about being a mother or a housewife but perhaps she did complain about the tasks she had to do.  My parents are in their 80's, my grandparents would have been about about the same age as Nader's' parents.  My grandmother, a farmer's wife,  never complained in all the years I knew her about her status as wife or the drudgery of her everyday life. She marvelled at the handiness of a having a small washboard for travel, the existence of a washing machine ( and the absolute miracle of the self wringer ( spin cycle) and of course the dishwasher. She had a college education but she expected manual labor to be a part of her life.  She never owned a TV . Her chores were difficult, she canned all her own food until well into her 90's. She had many female friends who uncomplaining  excepted life to be difficult, surprised when it was not but were always grateful for having loving spouses and indoor plumbing.   I wish I could say the same about myself.

   posted by : skeptic on 9/9/2007 at 9:39 PM Flag For Abuse

5. Maybe Ralph's mom was like my mom and my grandmothers, who felt their role was to provide meals, clean homes, safety, occasional merriment, etc. to their families without kvetching.  If RN to this day thinks his mom never complained then maybe that is a function of his never having been a parent (and experienced the sheer exhaustion etc.) and his general naivete.  My mother and grandmothers never complained to US, which, frankly, I am trying to emulate with my own kids.  But I have no doubt they complained to their sisters, friends and neighbors.  I have been happy to learn (after becoming a mother) that my mom bitched about my insolence and irritating habits, not to mention my dad's laziness around the house, to her best friend and my aunts during my childhood.  It is my job to work with my spouse to provide a clean, safe, enjoyable home to my kids.  I do not think the kids should be burdened with my whining.  I whine to my girlfriends over wine (haha) and on date night.  It is definitely a balance - raising appreciative, respectful kids (which does require their increasing awareness of their caregivers' contributions) who also feel cherished.  And I agree w/ RN and posters that it is part of my job to teach the kids (when age appropriate) how to mow the lawn, shovel the snow, wash the clothes, and make meals. Why would you want a kid to feel he/she was too much trouble?  I hope that by eighteen each child of mine feels he/she was loved and cared for every single day and is now able to love and care for him/herself... at college!

   posted by : BBBGMOM on 9/10/2007 at 12:46 PM Flag For Abuse