Babble

Should baby boys be circumcised? What do you think?

I obsessed over this quite a bit when we found out -- on the same day, alas -- that we were having not one but two children, and that both would be packing foreskins.  My wife left this one up to me entirely as the sole possessor of a penis in our household at the time.  I read all the arguments on both sides, and was left more befuddled than ever.  We were planning a home birth, so if we wanted to circumcise, we would need to bring in a hired gun.  I ultimately contacted two local pediatricians who did home birth circumcisions -- one Jewish, one Muslim.  They both told me that, if we weren't doing it for cultural or religious reasons, not to do it.  That clinched it for me, and Porter and Miles evaded the unkindest cut.

We chose not to circumcise our son and have met several other mothers who have boys born around the time as my son and they too have chosen not to cut.  It is a relief to me since so many people of the old school have said they were afraid their son would be made fun of in the locker room... I always wondered "Who exactly ARE these kids making fun of other people's penises?"!!  I'm not so sure that really exists and feel more that it is a projection from a well intentioned parent.  When I told my mid wife that we would be keeping my son's penis intact, she said "Good.  Out of all the things I see and do in this practice, circumcision is the part I like the least.  In fact, I hate it."

We really struggled with this.  My father is Muslim.  Although I was brough up in the US and consider myself American, I definitely group up in a cultural milieu that included a lot of traditional aspects and values.  Plus my whole family on Dad's side is cut.

 But my wife and I are not traditionalists.  Yet I finally decided to circumsize my son (now 10 months) because it's our tradition and I assumed most Americans are circumsized and I didn't want him to feel different.  Maybe this sounds like a dumb reason, but I really felt that I was doing the right thing for him.

Since then I have really reflected and thought about it and realized that if had to do it again I would NOT do it.

It's a complicated thing.  I don't necessarily regret the decision because I felt it was right at the time and I can't go through life regretting this act.  Yes - I look back and think that it was probably a mistake.  But he has to live with it and I have to live with the decision and I won't beat myself up over it.

 But now it's even MORE complicated!  If we don't circumsize the next boy (if we have one) what do we tell them!

One thing I have decided is to be honest.  If it comes down to it, I'll tell my first son what I wrote above.  It was our tradition, I felt that it was right at the time but I since have changed my opinion.  That's why your brother looks different.

But I am not looking forward to that.

We're Jewish and the decision to circumcise was still an issue for me. My husband felt strongly about having a bris and therefore the circumcision would have to happen. I was still uncomfortable with the idea of my 8-day-old getting circumcised, so I stood at the back of the room where I couldn't see or hear what was happening. I do have to say our mohel was fast and though my little boy screamed bloody murder, he calmed down after just a few minutes.

I absolutely would not (though it hasn't come up since we have two girls) and I encourage anyone who asks for my input to forego it unless it's for religious reasons.  Where we live, I understand it's a 50-50 thing with baby boys now a days, so I don't think there would be any issue with being "different."   My husband (who is circ'd) doesn't want to circ either. 

We grappled with this one too.  My husband did not feel strongly about it (even though he is circumcised) so we decided to leave our son intact.  Had this been important to either of us, maybe we would have done it.  I don't have a problem with parents who do this but I certainly have no regrets about our decision.  My family (Jewish) was slightly upset when we told them, though....

Married to an Irishman, due in July, if a boy there will be no cutting.  I don't understand how circumcision became so routine . . . . . unless for religious reasons of course!

Wow-surprsied at how crunchy it is here. We decided to circumcize after the RN at my OB told the story of her eight year old child who had numerous urinary infections due to problems with her foreskin. There actually are benefits to a circumcized penis: there is less of a risk of specific cancers, infections, and hygene is easier. There are reasons why so many people in society have made this choice for so many years: and those reasons are not all to do with religion or ethnicity. I think a lot of people who opt against circumcision do it to save themselves discomfort; not necessarily their dear child. Ask for the topical anesthetic.

wondering if any of you read this:

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=healthNews&storyid=2006-12-13T205927Z_01_N13463413_RTRUKOC_0_US-AIDS-CIRCUMCISION.xml&src=rss&rpc=22

 

my plan was to circumcise our little troublemaker simply because, well, at the end of the day, i thought it nice for him to look like his papa. and i thought, what is a moment of excruciating pain in order to perpetuate the delusion that in having a child i am cloning myself. i am joking here, but not entirely -- i think it is appealing to have that commonality. but the more i talked about it -- and talked to the nurses and doctors, all of whom were against it (and this at a very old school and prestigious nyc hospital) -- the more clear it was to me that is elective plastic surgery. Two things really clinched the decision for me: (1) learning that the foreskin not only has lots of nerve endings (not that more sexual pleasure will do the kid any good) but also secretes lubricant (now that may do him some good), and (2) my own personals experience that if you wallk around a lot, you may find that your little friend gets chafed. You may conclude that your little feller could use a turteneck. which is exactly what our privates evolved to have.  The simplest assessment, from my perspective is "when in doubt, don't second guess evolution."

One thing that's clear in the article mentioned above, although not specifically stated, is that the research was done in areas that are very different from our circumstances in the west. These studies are being done in countries where there is not ready access to condoms, healthcare, etc. If I understand correctly, most men with HIV in the US are circumcised, so it didn't do them much good. And if lack of foreskin were any protection against transmission, our rates of STIs would be lower than they are in other industrialized nations. As far as I know, our rates STIs are higher. But I'm not a social scientist or medical professional so take all that with a grain of salt.

 We didn't know the gender of our baby before birth and we decided that since we had no religious imperative to circumcise then there would be no reason for us to choose elective surgery. On the other hand, while I personally see no persuasive reason for circumcision, all the circ'd men and boys in my life seem unaffected by it so I don't believe that it's this barbaric practice some folks would have you believe.
 

We couldn't imagine any good reason to put our son through unneccessary pain and suffering, against his will and without his consent. His body is intact. If for some reason he wants to cut skin off the tip of his penis, he can choose to do so when he is an adult.

We chose not to cut simply because once it's done, it's done. If, when he got older, our son would have chosen circumcision, we would have made sure he was making an informed choice but not stopped him. We would have never considered circumcision for a girl-child so it seemed unwise to make life-long alterations to the genitals of a boy-child.

I was pro for a while, but then had my mind changed slowly over time thanks to another parenting bulletin board. So when we had the boy we did not circ him. I felt especially sure when I saw his teeny tiny little penis for the first time. It was so little! I couldn't imagine taking a knife to it!

But I do have to add one caveat: If my Jewishness meant anything to me, or if my husband was going Jewish and we were going to raise the boy Jewish, I would have done it for sure.

I'm sick unto death of debating this topic so I won't be back, but did want to give my perspective.