Babble

Just a moment to vent....anonymously! 

1. Opens cupboard doors but refuses to close them.

2. Leaves wet towels on the bed after showers

3. Leaves dirty socks on the floor or tucked into shoes.

4. Pretends not to hear the baby crying.

5. Doesn't understand what it means when I say please help.

sounds a wee bit familiar .... ! hang in there. at least the baby part gets better as the baby gets older, the other stuff you'll just have to somehow find endearing.

Stopped being in love with me the moment he laid eyes on my daughter. Wasn't there to hold my hand when I was throwing up on the operating table during and after the c-section. Hasn't held my hand since.

that's terrible! have you spoken to him about this?

Anonymous:

Stopped being in love with me the moment he laid eyes on my daughter. Wasn't there to hold my hand when I was throwing up on the operating table during and after the c-section. Hasn't held my hand since.

oh. my. gosh. I'm sooo sorry. This is terrible. You two really need to talk.

Oh, sure, but you can't make someone love you, and there's nothing less lovable than a spouse griping to his or her partner about feeling unloved. The more I try to talk to him about it, the more I'm pretty sure I sound like the voice of the teacher from those Charlie Brown tv specials: waaah wah waaah wahh wah wah wah.

So I think all you can do, if you're me, is carry on with your life and try to be a reasonably attractive and interesting person and hope, someday, that your spouse notices. I'm not there yet -- the baby ate both my brain and my waistline, at least temporarily -- but that's my strategy.

I'm sorry if nobody else will say it but, you can do better. If you don't feel a connection to the person you are sharing your life with, then you need to do something about it. This is YOUR LIFE!! Don't waste it on someone who doesn't appreciate you. I saw my parents do it for their 20 years of marriage, just so my sisters and I could have a "family" Well it won't do much for your child in 20 years when you two decide to call it quits because you raised the baby, and now you don't have to be together. That is more disturbing to me, when couples stay together only for the childs sake. How is that a good home to grow up in, when you later find out your parents hated eachother, but just stuck it out for them? I don't agree with that. You can do better honey. If your're not happy, only you can make the nessecary changes to become happy. And don't wait on him to change, because it won't happen. Forgive me if you don't like what I'm saying, but I just had to say what came to thought when I read your bulletin.

I'm sorry if nobody else will say it but, you can do better. If you don't feel a connection to the person you are sharing your life with, then you need to do something about it. This is YOUR LIFE!! Don't waste it on someone who doesn't appreciate you. I saw my parents do it for their 20 years of marriage, just so my sisters and I could have a "family" Well it won't do much for your child in 20 years when you two decide to call it quits because you raised the baby, and now you don't have to be together. That is more disturbing to me, when couples stay together only for the childs sake. How is that a good home to grow up in, when you later find out your parents hated eachother, but just stuck it out for them? I don't agree with that. You can do better honey. If your're not happy, only you can make the nessecary changes to become happy. And don't wait on him to change, because it won't happen. Forgive me if you don't like what I'm saying, but I just had to say what came to thought when I read your bulletin. If you want to talk email me

soccergurl_311@hotmail.com

Hey, please try a little patience! We went through waves of resentment, battles of wills, etc. over the first couple of years. At times it seemed we were doomed, but I think, with some incremental changes, we've come through stronger, after all. Theoretically, we could ALL do "better" ... but splitsville might be less fun than you'd think.

I believe your husband was in complete awe of his baby girl, and just couldn't take his eyes off her - That's beautiful!  My husband reacted the same way. Also, sometimes a husband needs more direction from his wife, as my husband often does.  Express what you need in detail, don't leave him guessing.  Also, be the first to gently take his hand and let him know how holding him makes you feel.  I think you need to express what you need from him.  Give it a try!

what is a spouse

I went through the same thing. I promise you it does pass but the experience was raw and painful for a very long time. If this guy is worth it, you need to talk to him - let him know that you will try to forgive him for disapointing you and then try to move forward. Rebuild your relationship with him (go out on dates- try to remind yourselves of why you got married), and with yourself (do things that calm and nourish you). This is a really challenging & scary time for everyone, know that you will get through it.