Babble

Some people I know are insisting that there is nothing wrong with having another baby shower for my second child. I personally didn't like the idea of having my first baby shower but a second one? Isn't that a little bit too much. I mean my guest list is the same (except for a few of the new mommy friends I've made.) I don't want to offend the people who want to throw it for me, but at the same time, I don't want to look like I'm begging for loot...especially since I already have everything I could possibly need for the new baby already. Am I alone here?

i don't think you're alone. here's what i'm wondering, though -- is your second child the same sex as the first or different? if different, then i don't think it's so strange. if the same, then yeah, i can see why you feel awkward. why are your friends so insistent on having a shower for you? do you not feel comfortable telling that it you feel a little awkward about it?

Anonymous:

why are your friends so insistent on having a shower for you? do you not feel comfortable telling that it you feel a little awkward about it?

 OP here. I actually don't know the sex of the second baby. But we have plenty of gender neutral stuff for newborns etc. and my family and friends will likely send stuff after the baby is born. I don't feel uncomfortable saying I feel awkward, but I don't want to offend these people since they truly believe they are doing something nice. Showers feel like begging for gifts...and I honestly can wait for new stuff until after the baby is here. 

I also don't really want a shower for #2 - didn't really want one the first time around...... Sure, we got stuff that came in very handy and it was very nice, but I just find it odd to get all this stuff before you actually have a baby. What if things go wrong? I know someone whose baby died in utero a couple of days after her shower....

Anyway, we have everything we need for #2, even though we seem to be having one of the opposite sex. I think I'd much rather get home-cooked freezable meals for the first few chaotic weeks after the new monkey arrives.

 

Why is this in anonymous, it's not really something to hide, is it?

I don't get why this is anonymous either. I say, why not have a shower but consider it more a party to celebrate the upcoming kid and enjoy friends and family and good food and laugh and talk and not have it be about gifts, registry, etc. i think it's a GREAT idea to ask whoever is organizing it to spread the word that the only "gift" you'd like is frozen premade meals for after the baby comes. I'm sure with a new baby and an older kid to take care of, that would be greatly appreciated!  -- Mim

I think it's fine being in anonymous, it's clearly something that the person posting feels a little awkward  about / uncomfortable with, especially how it might reflect on them (how having a second shower might appear as though they are looking for gifts). Anyway, normal concern ... I think that if I were having a second who was the opposite sex, I might be okay with my friends hosting a shower for me, but would probably extend the invite out to only very good friends and family.   

OP here. I put it here b/c I haven't yet signed up for a user name etc. But I wanted to "test" join the community!

If you aren't the person hosting/throwing the shower and therefore it is not your idea, where is the awkwardness?  I say a party is a party and it's a nice gesture for someone to throw one for you.  Of course, there's nothing wrong with sitting down with the hosts and saying "you know, I really have all the basics for the baby, but I could really use some frozen meals/housecleaning/babysitting/laundry help so could you let people know that?"

 It just seems - well, not rude, exactly, but not-nice - to take someone's generosity and toss it back at them because it seems like you're "looking for gifts."