Babble

My daughter, 14-months-old, has issues with separation anxiety.  I work from home as a freelance writer, but I need more time to work, so we started looking into some childcare options.  We just tried a small home daycare on a part-time basis.  There were three children there apart from my daughter, three adorable, well-behaved little girls.  I really felt that I connected with the woman caring for the children, and was so thankful that I had found her.  Not to mention, her rates were more than reasonable. We decided my daughter would stay with her for three days a week, and we would start out two hours at a time.  

The problem we ran into, however, was that my daughter had such severe separation anxiety that she would cry almost continuously while I was gone.  She would get so worked up she would have diarrhea, and would also refuse to eat while she was there.  This was very stressful for me, very stressful for the caretaker, and ulltimately, after about a month, she decided that she could not sit for my daughter. 

Now I feel like I am back to square one trying to find someone I trust, but more importantly, someone my daughter can trust.  I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through this, or if anyone had any suggestions as to how we can improve the situation when we find someone new.  I really wish we could afford a nanny, and we are looking into a nanny share, but I don't think that at this time this could really be an option for us.   

I feel your pain as my daughter went through a similar adjustment period just last month.  She was turning 1 and I was getting ready to go back to work full time.  Although it never got so bad that she had diarrhea, she did cry continuously for hours on end.  She's a screamer so it made it worse for the daycare provider. It was very disruptive to the other kids. 

Like your daughter, mine was enrolled there 3 days a week.  The adjustment period might actually be prolonged if the child is exposed to the new environment on a part time basis only.  If the option exists, perhaps place her at a facility which will allow her to attend full time (but on a graduated bases - 2 hours, 4 hours, 6 hours, etc) until she's adjusted and then at that point, pulled back to 3 days a week. 

 I also put together a photo album of familiar family members and friends which she took with her to daycare.  The 'anxiety book'', as we liked to call it, seemed to distract her.  I also made sure I spent a lot of time chatting with the daycare provider when I went to pick up my daughter.  I read it's important for her to see that interaction.  She's fine now but it took about 12 exposures before she stopped crying when I dropped her off.

 Not sure how much help this is but just know that eventually, she will outgrow this.  Hang in there!

My husband and I are going through the same thing with our almost 9 mo old son. His father and I work opposite schedules to avoid daycare and to be there for Oscar but the trade off seems to be the total inability of having anyone else watch him (we have no family to help with babysitting duty). 

In fact, my 40th birthday is tomorrow and we had to cancel the babysitter and our dinner plans because he was so hysterical when we left him alone for 2 hours last week for a Christmas Party.  I've kind of resigned myself to this problem until we put him in full time daycare in about a year.