Babble

Thanks so much for writing this. The worst is when people ask my 4 year old when she is going to have a sibling - like it's her choice!! Adn my daughter, too, is the most secure of all the kids I know. She is friendly and caring and I see that it takes other kids much more time to warm-up to her or me even if we've known them for years. 

Would you mind if I use your reply to that "oh-so-intrusive" person? I have learned to not allow guilt to govern whether or not we have another child. In addition, other people have no right to guilt someone into having another child. Usually, people openly disagree with your life choices and try to persuade you to see it their way, the best way of course, when they are looking out for themselves whether it is justifying their own life choices or molding you into their life picture. The latter reason, in my experience, seems to hold true for pushy relatives. What it all comes down to is what is best for you, your spouse, and your child. My active four year old has plenty of friends, and we are more stable financially than if we had another child.  My husband, son, and I are healthy and happy...that's all that matters.

I have one younger brother and I have to disagree that it is 'intrinsically better to have a sibling'. I think I would actually have prefered being an only child and have kind of always felt like one anyway as we didn't really do much together when we were kids, maybe because we weren't the same sex? I don't know. Perhaps it would have been different with a sister, maybe we would have related more or something. I rarely see my brother, we get along okay, but I find him annoying a lot of the time and can only handle him in small doses. We are just very different people and if we weren't brother and sister we would definitely have nothing to do with each other. I dread the day we have to deal with the death of our parents together. I would much rather be an only child in this instance actually. I think it would be easier. Anyway.....I have an only child myself and plan to keep it that way. Not because of my experience growing up or my husband's either. He is from a family of 7 kids and is quite close to a few of his siblings and they all seem to get along well. There are various issues affecting my decision to have one child, health being one of them and the fact that I and my son almost died when he was born, so that is definitely a contributing factor in our decision. Also....my 4 year old is a happy, well adjusted, caring, funny and social little boy and I really do not have the desire to push my luck! I feel blessed to have such a wonderful and sweet little guy and our family just feels right for us. Everyone has their own reasons for and against having just one child and there is no right or wrong and as most have said on this board, whatever works for you and your family is the right decision. -Trish