Babble

We live in a California beach town that I wouldn't characterize as either.  It's certainly not the "real big city," but it is a University town and has tons of cultural offerings that you might find in the city.  Also, most people are progressive-minded here, which I also might expect in a more cosmopolitan area.  Plus, there's the beach!  We have a small house and tiny yard, but with the beach so close and a temperate climate, you don't need a big yard.  We love it here and couldn't imagine living in either a real city or the suburbs.

While from a being-able-to-afford-a-backyard perspective, I sometimes toy with the idea of moving to the 'burbs, the reality of the segregated Chicago area is that by doing so, I'd be consigning my child to the "lonely only" life I led as the sole black kid in my almost lily-white town growing up. With the exception of Evanston and Oak Park, there don't appear to be many suburban options for those of us who want our kids to grow up with friends (not just classmates, or people you pass on the street) of all different backgrounds. Though on the real side, the city of Chicago is definitely no bargain in that respect, either.

Having said that, it's not so much city vs. 'burbs for me as it is north side vs. south side. Here's a bit of the back and forth that goes on in my head:

Pros

North(west) side, where we currently live: Not far from dtown; reasonable proximity to city attractions; ability to easily access other cool 'hoods via public transport; organic groceries; service professionals and restaurants that will actually deliver to my place.

South side: Ability to afford a single family home for what we're paying for our condo; close proximity to family/friends (code for babysitters!); easier access to cultural institutions that will become more important as the babe grows (church, playgroups with kids who look like my child, hair salons that know how to do her hair, etc.)

Cons

Northwest side: Few families that look like ours; UNAFFORDABLE single family housing; and, tragically, no decent jerk chicken or rib joints.

South side: All the cool shops, restaurants, services, etc. are afraid to locate there, because the assumption is that anyone living 'out souf' is too broke, too violent, too (don't make me say it, yall); lack of nighttime mobility via public transport or cab; few family-friendly resources; and sadly, no decent Polish bakeries.

 Anyone in Chicago facing a similar dilemma?

i feel like we live in both. we live in los angeles...a sprawling city of suburbs, kind of. we live in an area called los feliz which is about one mile east of the D in the hollywood sign at the base of the hill. so we do have the best of both worlds i think. we live across the street from Griffith Park (the largest city park in the US) and we're literally 5 minutes from the corners of Hollywood and Vine. But Los Feliz does have it's own "main street type stree" two really, walkable with shops and restaurants, many of which are very baby friendly but at night are also great non-kinds places.  our block looks pretty suburban but at the end of the block it's where thai town meets korea town meets armenian town with drunks in front of the crummy Rite Aid, yet we live in a 1920's colonial that looks like we're in connecticut which gives us the added bonus of being able to rent our house out for commercials which helps pay the mortgage. we have a mini park backyard and so i feel very blessed. we're 10 minutes from downtown la, 3 minutes from silverlake, 15 minutes from downtown pasadena and 20 minutes from beverly hills, yet, i like to stay in our own area most of the time because of the horrific traffic in la. otherwise...i love la. and love it for kids. well at least for my 8 month old baby. there are mommy and me yoga classes all over our neighborhood. a stroller strides class across the street in the park. etc.

We both prefer the city, but in our neck of the woods, the tech jobs (our industry) are out in the suburbs. We were commuting 3 hours per day with a baby and it was ridiculous. So we sold our adorable bungalow and moved closer to our jobs in the suburbs. We now have a 15 minute commute.

Our current neighborhood is as diverse as our previous one. In fact, as white folks, we will be the minority within 5 years. So I have no diversity concerns out here.

I definitely feel a lack of community out here. People aren't as friendly. Everyone drives everywhere. People are going all different directions. I'm finding it difficult to find progressive friends out here. We have a larger house than we used to, which is nice, but we have to get in the car to go to the playground because there's no sidewalk along the busy road to the playground. It's kind of depressing.

 BUT we have 2.5 hours of our day back to spend with our daughter. We have a lot less stress. The crime rate is much lower. I just wish I could walk to the library, stores, the coffee shop, etc. and run into people I know. I honestly don't care where I live, as long as there is culture, diversity, and community. We're batting 1 for 3 in that area.

So yeah. Mixed reviews on the 'burbs.
 

For us its either city, or country; suburb is a dirty word.  We are moving out of Seattle (too expensive, too rainy) and will try another sunnier city first, but I'm ready for the farm.  You can always drive into the city, or stay with friends there when kids with grandparents (which is about the only time we go out).  I would sorely miss the spur of the moment ability to go see a band-- but I dream of a yard with kiddie pool, barbecues, and beer.......

As mentioned in an earlier post my wife and i live in new york (east village) with our 22 month old and second child on the way. Like some people above, i was a single person new york for some time and find that life entirely untranslatable to my current conditions -- no more meandering hours in cafes and blurry endless nights. However, one of the most important city experiences -- that of the flaneur, the pedestrian -- is arguably better than it ever was armed with a stroller. Much like a puppy on the beach, a stroller in the city is the most effective ice breaker imaginable -- it makes the city a far more friendly place than one thought it to be beforehand (steven johnson is good on this in a babble article -- see http://www.babble.com/content/articles/features/personalessays/johnson/streetwalkers/).

If you stay in the city with kids, you graduate to a different phase -- more dinner parties and kid focussed activities, punctuated with the book readings and art openings (a few times a year in my case but still the presence of the possibility makes a diffference to me) that i always enjoyed.

I worry about the teenaged years -- i am not sure the city ideal for kids over 8 or 10 -- but i am completely sold on the city as a location for the early years.
 

 

 

 

We're in the process of moving from Toronto to Nashville. I've always lived in downtown Toronto, which is relatively safe and clean. I love being close to shops and pubs. I'm a walker or cyclist, I prefer getting around that way.

Now that we have two bambinos, it only makes sense that we move to a bigger home, thus the move to Nashville, which is also closer to my wife's family and friends (who have kids, unlike mine).

The truth is, downtown Nashville is nice, but we're going to have to live a bit outside of the city probably. The drag is you have to drive every where. I hate that.

What's a guy to do? Anyone know Nashville very well?

Dave
 

bethb2:

For us its either city, or country; suburb is a dirty word. We are moving out of Seattle (too expensive, too rainy) and will try another sunnier city first, but I'm ready for the farm. You can always drive into the city, or stay with friends there when kids with grandparents (which is about the only time we go out). I would sorely miss the spur of the moment ability to go see a band-- but I dream of a yard with kiddie pool, barbecues, and beer.......

 Nothing against the country at all, because I definitely see the appeal, but one of the strikes against it in our area is the horrible schools. In fact, if you want good schools, you have the options of private school or suburbs because the city schools are as bad as the country schools. Additionally, country living for us would mean a long, congested commute to work because there aren't many jobs in the country; they're all in the 'burbs and the city. Country life would be nice if we could find a progressive, diverse area, with jobs. I'm all for quiet stretches of strip mall-free living though. As long as there's broadband. :-)

 I'm interested in where you're considering looking after your sunny city adventures are through?

 

When you say "Greater Boston" do you mean you don't actually live in Boston?  Also, are you sure Boston is a "city."  I've been there on business.  Its pretty small.  Reminds me of Hoboken.

If you have a wife, who the hell are you "breaking ice" with?  Also what cafe are you "meandering" in?  Why don't you lay off the hackneyed bohemian references, put down the french dictionary and join the world of adults.  It's fun out here!!

We have a yard, can walk to downtown (which means a few shops, theatres, library, parks) and to school. For the first few years, it was perfect. But ten years on, and now that Mommy has to find work which actually covers the cost of gas and is above minimum wage for this area (say, more than $10 an hour), we are not so thrilled: there is very little, and as our area attracts more people due to its increasing reputation as one of the Best Places in America to Live, there is even more competition for the few jobs that are out there.

raisenormalkids:

If you have a wife, who the hell are you "breaking ice" with?  Also what cafe are you "meandering" in? 

As a stay-at-home mom, I love going to cafes and meeting other people. I have a husband and I'm not trolling around looking for romance or anything like that, just adult conversation. I found that this was particularly important when my son was still very small and hanging out in the park was not really an option for us. Now that he's bigger, I tend to meet other adults in our local parks - our kids play together and I've made some really good adult friendships. Both reasons I love living in the city! 

We live in South Philadelphia and I think we have the best of both worlds.  Our neighborhood is culturally diverse with lots of families, and we're very close to center city so we have quick access to museums and theatres and all that good culture stuff.  The big issue we have is where to send our son to school. Our son is only 17 months and in a great daycare, but I would love to be able to send him to public school when he's older.  The public schools in our neighborhood aren't too good.  So, do we spend the money on private school or move to the burbs and spend more money on taxes?  We haven't decided yet, luckily we have some time!

Washington, D.C., is a great place for kids, primarily because almost all the attractions and museums are free (or, more accurately, paid for by taxpayers who are not lucky enough to be able to access them daily).  Not only does this make a museum trip easy, it makes a SHORT museum trip easy.  My lads love the National Gallery, the Air and Space Museum, and the Natural History Museum -- for about 20-30 minutes each.  The great thing here is that you can dip in and out of museums in keeping with your child's attention span.

There are also lots of young families with young kids here, and, unlike many cities, the rural world is only about an hour away by car.
 

We see the same on the Near West Side of Chicago, though not through the same eyes I guess. Though I believe the same thinking...

We have a nice place in the West Loop (a neighborhood worth checking out by the way - clean, quiet, 15 minute walk to the edge of the Loop, and almost all the restaurants you could want - Greek Town, Little Italy, Randolph Street... though sadly no local jerk chicken or rib joints ; ).

But like anything, nice is relative. Our home, while big by Loop standards, would be laughably small if we were to move it to Plainfield, McHenry or Northwest Indiana. We don't have a yard, or a driveway. We don't have great school options (public are some of the worst in the city, and private are tough to get into and $$$)... the suburbian experience certainly could fix that...

But then I think, for all the space we give up (square footage and grass), and the additional cost of education (a sub-two year old is not ready for school quite yet...), we get --- Chicago! One of the best cities in the world. From my front door I can see the Sears Tower almost completely unobstructed. I can walk to great coffee places, libraries, and museums. My son sees an amazing range of people, languages, and just plain 'stuff' on a daily basis. He's been to most museums a few times, and this will be his third Cubs season. He sees his parents AT LEAST a few hours a day more than if we lived in the 'burbs. We walk to our doctor, our church, parks, work, and the grocery store. We get to spend time together that is lost to most people who are forced (choice...d??) to commute.

City living isn't for everyone. It's essentially trading quantity for quality. Drive through the Northwest suburbs, and you'll see the SAME businesses, repeated every 15 minutes. For better or worse life outside the city is just less exciting to me. Don't get me wrong though, lots of great places to live, work, and just see, reside outside our great cities, but I think they do to satisfy economic want, not true necessity (do you really NEED a media room!?). I think we could all make do with a little less personal space, and a little more personal interaction. Maybe we'd learn a little more from each other.

Of course the more people who move to cities means even smaller places... so maybe just forget what I said : )

My two cents.