Babble

Though Babble bills itself as a magazine and community for the new URBAN parent, clearly urban is a state of mind, and the site is attracting quite a few people living in the burbs. Despite comments i have seen in response to some of the articles here, i don't think everyone is open to the range of lifestyle options ... it's really a matter of what is right for a particular family at a particular moment in time.

 My pregnant wife and i live in New York with our 22 month old and we love it -- its very stroller friendly, we have a great community of friends, and we love the access to cultural events and career opportunities. That said, when we visit my mother in washington DC and drive to the grocery store, and as we arrive at her house push a button on the ceiling of the car and watch a garage door magically rise, i can't help but think, damn, this is pretty nice !

I have to think that most people living in cities with kids feel a tug to the burbs, though clearly the pull of the city is still the dominent one for those people. If you live in the city do you feel a tug to the burbs? If in the burbs, do you feel a tug to the city? What do you like and not like about your current family living experience? I am interested to hear everyone's take on this.  

I'd refer you to the fun column on "The New Nightlife." After all, isn't where you live a moot point when you never go out?

Oh, we're a mess.  I grew up in a small town and my husband grew up in the Jersey 'burbs and we would both just LOVE to live in NYC but it is wildly out of our price range.  Sigh.  I guess that's why PATH trains were invented.

I'm of two minds, now that we have the baby.  My husband and I both grew up with back yards to play in and the relative safety of a neighborhood full of kids.  I would LOVE for Jillian to have that kind of wild and free childhood and not have to rely on "playdates" and structured play areas.

On the other hand, not living in NYC means there are probably thousands of things that we're missing out on, simply because it's a giant pain in the ass to go anywhere these days.  Sigh.

Eventually, we will probably end up in either a small-ish town or the 'burbs because all I want out of life right now is a house with a yard.  Maybe later we'll change our minds.  Besides, as the baby gets bigger, it will be less hassle to schlep her around and we can start going back to the city more often.

City. Because I want my son exposed to a wide variety of people, and because I grew up in a cow pasture and my life changed enough when I became a parent without being isolated on a nice little cul de sac someplace.

I may not always avail myself of everything Greater Boston has to offer these days, but I like knowing the option to is just a few minutes away.  Except for occasional, fleeting Yard Envy when we visit friends in the 'burbs, I never feel a tug.

We currently live in downtown Boston and LOVE it..however, the problem for us is space, which hence is related to cost issues. If we could just afford more space..which we can't...we would stay here forever. Right now a myriad of extra STUFF ( think baby swing to too small clothes) are stored in my parents garage. But the  quality of life in the city is miles beyond suburb living, in my opinion...if we could only win the lottery!!!

We lived in a small city/university town when our 2.5 yr old was born and it seemed like the best of both worlds.  Then my job took us to another small city which really sucked other than the great job and the multitude of parks and playgrounds.  (Not even enough nightlife to meet our very limited needs, which is pretty pathetic.)  Now we're in what can be best described as the 'burbs (2 towns over from said university town.)  It hasn't been since before kids that we lived in NYC.  Much as I'd like to, I couldn't afford the kind of lifestyle we would want there.  (OK, I couldn't afford any lifestyle there.) 

Where we are now we have a beach a block away, safe places to walk, tons of good eats of every possible ethnic offering within a 15 minute drive and even a few good options even closer.  And most importnatly (alas, the thing that brought us here) our kids' grandparents 20 min away! 

It's all tradeoffs but life's pretty good in the burbs.  (though props to the "small city", too.)

I think we get the best of both worlds living in Brooklyn. Our neighborhood is small enough where I feel like I know my neighbors but big enough to have all the conveniences of a big city. On my block, I have a great restaurant, a cute coffee shop, a drycleaners, and a bunch of boutiques. Not to mention 3 or 4 kiddie parks within a four block radius. It's great. I wouldn't change a thing.

I lived in New York (Manhattan, Brooklyn) from the day I graduated from college until I was 28 or so--basically all my young adult life.  I am from the (rural) west coast, but I had always wanted to live in the city, and I loved it.  The urban lifestyle has always appealed to me and still does, even though I have returned to California to raise kids.  

Since coming home, I've realized the things I miss about the city are things that I would never be able to do again anyway now that I have kids.  On one hand, it would be nice to have access to the cultural events and the job market, as you say.  On the other hand, my favorite memories of the city all involve being alone and carefree, things that I have forfeited in having children, at least for the next ten years or so: bar-hopping; jumping the fence at the Sheep's Meadow for a 3 am Thai picnic; grooving to my iPod on trains (unencumbered); jogging in the park (unencumbered), or just walking down the street (unencumbered), a single cell in the one, big, beating heart of the city. 

As much as I love city life, I don't see the point in putting up with--and exposing my kids to--all the bad stuff about it (the stress, the expense, the lack of space, crowds, garbage, crazy people, etc.), when I can't enjoy the good stuff.  Of course, "the good stuff" is different for everyone.  But where I live now my kids have a nice house to live in, a giant backyard all their own, and a brand-new super-safe Subaru wagon to ride around in, all for about the same price I would pay to live in a 2-br apartment in a nice area of Brooklyn.  And I'm only two hours from San Francisco, so when I need culture or I want it for my kids, it's no problem. 

I love city life.  But if you have kids, I think 'burb life is preferable, PROVIDED you are close to a great city.  What terrifies me is the idea of living somewhere that's far away from any big, fun city or really isolated--like northeastern Utah or central Iowa or something (no offense, folks). 

I have to jump in, located as I am in terrifying Iowa, southeast though.  No offense taken, you've never been here before so I don't expect you to know what it's like (but don't knock it til you've tried it!).

 We're lucky enough to live in a mid-sized university town with a rich cultural scene and neighbors and friends who share our liberal politics.  We have lots of theatre, music, and restaurants and ours is a community that is devoted to family oriented events such as outdoor music and arts festivals.  We're neither city nor suburb, but town and- as someone else stated from living in a university town- it is truly the best of both worlds. 

I've lived around cities most of my life (mid-atlantic cities). However a couple of years ago I decided to move down south where the real estate was less expensive. I moved to Charlotte, NC and loved it. I lived in the city for the first 2 years that I was here. It isn't as congested as a lot of the urban areas up north that I was used to, however it still offered similar diversity and cultural experiences. Recently I just gave up city life and moved to the 'burbs where as a single mother I was able to afford to buy a house with a yard. I miss having everything so accessable... but it is worth it to own my own home and have a yard for my son to play in when he is a little older. Luckily the downtown area is only about a 15 minute drive, so I shouldn't have a problem exposing him to the experiences that I so value in city life.

My husband and I lived in NYC for the first few years we were together and loved it.  We walked everywhere or relied on subways to get around.  Then we moved to the 'burbs in anticipation of a family we were yet to have.

Now we have twins and while I truly miss the city sometimes, I cannot imagine being a parent of twins (especially the first few years with the double wide stroller) in NYC.  It was hard enough acting as "roadie" in the suburbs to them and all their gear.  I don't know how we would have managed had we stayed in the city.

That said, I'm glad we live as close as we do (about 35 minutes north) because we can still go into the city with friends (individually or, god forbid, as a couple).  And I'm looking forward to my girls getting a little bit older so we can take them to all the great things the city has to offer.

I am torn between the two.... Both my husband and I were raised in NYC. We currently live in south florida (Boca), living the burb life. We have the cars the pets and all the responsibility that comes along with it!!! Yes the back yard is nice, owning your own home is nice....But it is so much damn maintaintence! At times we long for the ease of apartment living...Public transportation on the other hand not so much :) Perhaps one day we will be back in NYC longing for the "ease" of the burbs.

In so far as cultural exposure. I feel as parents we are responsible to make that available to our chilidren. No matter where we live. Wanting culture and diversity is a state of mind, not which state we live in (or city, or burb).

I grew up in the suburbs of Detroit, but I came to appreciate city life attending junior high and high school in Detroit proper.  We now live in Arlington, Virginia, and work in DC.  While not exactly urban living, we rent a house that is just over a block from a little downtown area (Westover), so it doesn't feel at all like suburbia.  We hardly ever go beyond the beltway, and I can't imagine living that far out.  We take the kids to a private preschool in the District, so they get to experience city life just as much as we do.

Living in or near a major city offers so many exciting opportunities.  Just yesterday my older son's class took a field trip to the White House.  They walked there.  Every field trip I ever took as a kid involved a bus, and a sense that venturing beyond the playground was entering foreign territory.  Here they're immersed in a varied and rich environment, where history and art are within easy reach.  I expected the transition from suburban life to be much harder than it's proved to be.  We love it here.

Schools were our primary concern in choosing where to live.  We would love to live in DC, but the public school system is simply intolerable.  Our neighborhood schools are among the area's best, so we may very well stay in Arlington for some time.


 

i have to echo completely what fiddlemama wrote above, except the part about iowa because i've never been there.

 but we live in a small-ish college town in the PNW, about an hour and a half from portland.  it's absolutely terrific.  it's got all the convenience of the suburbs without the soul-crushing conformity & boredom.

 i could see raising a family in portland, but not seattle, and definitely not in any large northeastern city.  i lived in NYC for four years immediately out of college, but would not, could not, go back there to live again.  it was great as a young single person, but it doesn't have what i want for raising a family and has too much of what i don't want.