Babble

I'm 31 weeks pregnant with my first child and obsessed, but perhaps not surprisingly with various "watch the baby get born" television shows on basic cable.  The thing that is starting to really bug me is that it appears in almost all of these videos, when the time comes for the woman to push, there's like at least 4 people around saying things like "push!" "you can do it" etc.

I know myself and when I'm concentrating on a difficult task, the last thing I need is several people voicing their opinion.  Whenever I see one of these birth videos it reminds me of trying to parallel park a moving truck on a city street with two friends and a husband shouting instructions at me.  I wound up putting the thing in park, getting out of the vehicle and refusing to continue until everyone promised to stop hollering at me.

 Not sure what the equivalent action would be during childbirth, but I feel like I'll be sorely tempted.

Is this a legitimate concern or were you so swept up in the effort at that moment that you really didn't notice or care how many folks were blathering at you?  I know I can explain this to my husband, and perhaps my OB but there's no way of knowing which nurses (or whoever the hell all those people are) will somehow end up in the room acting as cheerleaders. 

 

 

i could not agree with you more ... i thought that I was the only person thinking that all those people on TV were nuts. I find the behavior irritating and I'm not the one in labor. It's enough to *almost* make me consider one of those crazy silent births. I'm hoping that the various nurses and doctors are mute.

That would make me crazy, too!  That being said, I have absolutely no recollection of what was happening when I was in the pushing stage of labor.  I only remember my husband actually saying out loud that his back was hurting.  Every single person in the room at that time stopped moving and just stared at him.   LOL  I honestly don't think you'll notice when the time comes.  If it bugs you, though, simply tell the staff that you can't concentrate with all the noise.  I imagine most people will be as respectful of your wishes as possible. 

 I do worry a bit that telling the staff I can't concentrate with the noise will take the form of me screaming "everyone shut the f**k up right now!" or something like that.  I mean, I've cracked under less pressure.  I know that birthing room staff are pretty thick-skinned from dealing with all sorts of women but I guess I'd prefer, you know, not to totally freak out on people.  I imagine in the moment I won't actually care.

Love the idea of your husband saying his back hurt!  I mean, I bet it really did, right? And then you just say something like that and can't take it back.  Was he embarassed? 

You know, I've had two labors, one long, one short, and I had worried about so-called "cheerleaders" in the room with me, b/c I'm pretty business like (but also felt like I would need more than "gimme a 'P'!" to get me to push.

 I actually found the nurses at each hospital I delivered at to be very helpful in sensing just what information I needed in order to get the job done. They actually were firm and straight-forward

For my first labor, I invited a 65-year old friend of mine who is a straight-talkin' shoot from the hip kind of lady (a transplant to Texas, but totally Texan all the way), and as my first son was born, her cheer was the most joyful sound that anyone could have uttered, and was totally appropriate for the moment - it was genuine and from someone I love...the lesson from that - choose the people who will be with you carefully - the reactions of some might not match your own mood.

I found the post-partum nurses to be much more annoying, especially in Delaware (where I delivered my second baby) - JHACO standards or whatever required them to go through a long diatribe about how I shouldn't leave my baby alone or allow anyone who didn't have 9 forms of ID access to my baby, even though the ward was double locked and my baby had an anti-theft device attached to his belly button, because someone could steal him, etc. as well as all of these other lectures about how to care for a baby, how to use a sitz bath - I just wanted to be left alone and to be told when lunch was coming and to go pee in peace...ugh!

Anyway, I think the "cheerleader" thing from Sex and the City really created a fictional issue out of a rare "cheerleader-y" nurse - but how many of us are as cynical as Miranda, anyway?

i feel totally the same way.  In fact, after four hospital births with doctors, of varying degrees of exasperation (my second was in a darkened Catholic hospital where the people in the room played cards most of the time, but they also tried to "help me wait" till dh could get there from cross town - i didn't much care for waiting :) - and then a hospital birth with just a midwife and a nurse (and a large degree of actual silence), i realized that what i really wanted was to not have anyone there except my husband.  So we planned an unassisted homebirth for baby #6 - my mom was also there, but it was good to have an extra pair of hands afterwards, and with #7 my mom came again, but baby came during the day, so she took care of the littles downstairs while dh and i had the baby upstairs in our bedroom.  I had one song playing over and over that i really was focussed on (Psalm 23), and my husband prayed aloud during contractions (he didn't have much choice - as soon as i started the contraction i'd order him to PRAY!) - but nobody told me what to do, or how, or talked to someone else in the room - in between was just quiet music, my husband sitting close by, trying to read a book :) and then the baby was there, and my body pushed by itself (which it does, you know :)) - and the baby was coming out in the warm pool in the afternoon sun...  it was so much better to not have a bunch of dirty strangers breathing at me and telling me what to do.  (don't i sound bratty?  but that's how it feels... and then you're stuck in the hospital with all the sick people in a 100 mile radius... and your brand new perfect baby...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXMiI1hh_yc

My own experience was that the nurses in the room, midwife, husband, and best friend were all very supportive, any information they gave me during labor was concise and helpful.  ("Try shorter breaths while you push," or "the burning sensation your feeling is the baby's head crowning.")  It was kept to a minimum and always helpful, but never annoying or excessive.  My husband and my best friend did chit chat for a moment, but I shushed them loudly.  Normally I'm pretty diplomatic, but in labor I was very bossy.  Which is, I think the way it should be.  It's your labor, your in charge.

I knew that I wouldn't want a bunch of people talking to me. That's my personality. My solution: I did most of my laboring in the bathroom--on the toilet. (The lazy woman's birthing ball!) People leave you alone in the bathroom! My husband was there, peering in the toilet making sure no one fell out. = )

 Hmm, well I've only had the one boy but there was a little of that in the room. We could only have five people in the room while I was giving birth so naturally we picked my husband, my parents, and my husband's mother. They did a lot of preparation for me which I'm not sure if they do in other hospitals. (I delivered at Parrish Medical in Titusville, FL) They would have two people, one on each side holding my legs as I pushed and the nurse stretched me out which really helped with minimizing the tears. (Only two tiny ones on the inside) Might be something to ask about. ^^ But when the actual birthing part came my mom tried to chip in with the whole 'Push, push now!' about ten seconds after the doctor/nurse said it. I couldn't say much but I did glare, hiss, and try to say it. My husband got her out of the way thankfully because I was really trying to swear.

So just don't be afraid to tell people off for trying to do it if you don't like it. The nurse/doctor can help moreso because they are down there with their hand in you feeling the baby to know when you need to push. I needed the help because I had an epidural which they then cut with picodin at the end to help me feel when to push. I actually had a moment when I was trying to hiss through the oxygen mask, 'Don't wanna feel the pain...no more picotin! Want a break with crackers!' Ah but at least I delivered my big boy safely...even though he ripped my cervix up pretty badly because it wouldn't open right. 14 inch head, 20 1/2 inches long..and nearly 10 pounds. God...and this is only my first.

Oh, and take adantage of the fact that people will forgive what you say in the room because afterwards some people's attention will go only to the baby. Never be afraid to speak your mind! It will make the nurses smile to hear something different. Like, 'I feel like my balls just dropped' when describing the feeling of the baby dropping low and pushing the cervix out. Or 'I have balls!' when seeing how puffy your nether regions get RIGHT after birth. All the pushing and such...^^ Hope I helped some! Don't forget to ask about the preperation stretching though, it's a godsend.