Babble

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Over 40 Mamas

Last post 08-14-2007 2:58 PM by heysway. 9 replies.
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  • 03-02-2007 9:54 AM

    Over 40 Mamas

    I'm 41 yrs old. Even though I have a 19 month old daughter and two older childen, I can't seem to relate to the ladies in my mommie's group? Can any older moms feel my pain??

    Mocha Mom of 3
  • 03-02-2007 1:04 PM In reply to

    • squawks
    • Joined on 01-30-2007
    • boston, ma

    Re: Over 40 Mamas

    40 years old here, with a 14-month-old. Having a very hard time connecting with moms of ANY age, but I'd especially love some fellow 40-ish mom friends. We're confronted with the decision of whether to try for #2 now, and we have no time to waste.
  • 03-06-2007 12:26 PM In reply to

    Re: Over 40 Mamas

    I will be 40 in a couple months.  I had my first at 34 (almost 35) and my twins at 36.  It's difficult connecting to some of the moms at my kids preschool - they are mostly late 20's early 30's.  I feel like I am planning retirement and college at the same time! 

     I would go for #2!  It's fun!  Mine kids are 14 months apart, it is challenging at times but for the most part it's a blast!

     

     

    Auntie Tam
    Check us out at
    www.AuntieTam.com
  • 03-09-2007 4:49 PM In reply to

    • Mim
    • Joined on 01-09-2007
    • Portland, OR

    Re: Over 40 Mamas

    Older here as well. Had son a 39, am now 40 and he just turned one. I think part of my problem with the new-moms groups I've attended and other new moms I've met is we just don't have much in common, age being only one factor. Here in Portland, most of the new moms I meet are still "older" by US statistical standards... 32-36 seems to be average age. Still, they at least have a few more years to decide about future kids, and they won't be almost 60 when the kid graduates from high school, so defintiely the age  difference seems to put some things in sharp relief in a way that age differences never did for me in the past (I seem to have a lot of friends pre-kid who are 5-10 yrs younder than me and it never really came up).
  • 03-29-2007 5:09 PM In reply to

    Re: Over 40 Mamas

    I will be 39 in a few months with a just turned 2 year old, can I come hang out with you kids? Or should I come back next year? :-)

  • 03-29-2007 5:14 PM In reply to

    • Mim
    • Joined on 01-09-2007
    • Portland, OR

    Re: Over 40 Mamas

    oh, what the hell, come on in! Pull up a rocker and grab your ear trumpet and we'll have a nice chat!
  • 03-30-2007 5:54 PM In reply to

    Re: Over 40 Mamas

    I am 39 with a 21 month old, 6 year old, 8 year old and 17 year old. And I do know what you are going through.

    With my 6 and 8 year old children I fit right in with other mom's at school and activities and still do :) These are my core friends. 

    I find with the moms of my youngest childs peers I don't fit in quite so well. BUT, I fit in even less when my eldest was young. We live in a fairly affluent community and when I took her to 1st grade the rest of the moms were late 30's early 40's (my moms age) and I didn't fit in (I was early 20's and looked 15) and was never included -- it was awful.

    Now with the baby I am experiencing some of the same experiences. This time it is not so much about being excluded ... the other mom's are really friendly, I am just not on the same page. I care less about fashion (mine and the babies), I am pretty confident about my parenting skills (they are pretty worried about what is OK and what isn't), I don't like to compare my babies weight, skills, talents or lack of with other babies, and I have a lot less time than many of the other moms, so I find it hard to find the time to join them for the coffee mornings and outings they plan.

    As long as I don't get called "grandma" I'll be happy. Oh please don't call me grandma ... don't call me grandma ...

  • 04-03-2007 12:20 PM In reply to

    Re: Over 40 Mamas

    Almost 38 (not quite a spring chicken either) with an almost 2 year old daughter and knocked up again with 3 months to go.

    I'm with mommyknows about not being on the same page with a lot of the other moms. We are not fashionable either, are not interested in pink and girly everything and though we don't mind talking about what the kidlets can and cannot do, it really doesn't need to go on endlessly. I am still a first time mom, too, but I don't get that parents of similarly aged tots as mine are still freaked out about so much stuff. I guess we never were the freaked out types to begin with, but I'd really hoped that by the time your kid hits 1 you'd sort of be getting over the jitters...

    Anyway, we are part of a group that works for us, but it just doesn't meet much. People are generally a little older and calmer, but what holds the group together is that we all speak the same language (which is different from where we all live) and want to pass it on to our kids. Other than that, I work full time and don't have a lot of time for mommy groups - this is about to change as I go off on mat leave for a year, but I'm hoping that I'll meet some others or get to know the stay-at-home ones better from the group we already belong to.

  • 04-18-2007 4:25 PM In reply to

    • tracykk
    • Joined on 04-18-2007
    • South GA

    Re: Over 40 Mamas

    40 here....and new to this site.  I have a 19 year old, 5 and 3...all girls.  I wouldn't say that I don't fit in with the other moms, they're all 'nice' to me.  I guess I just don't have the same interests and having the older child has made my perspective change over the years.  I can relate to things that pertain to my younger two but not so much the oldest.  That and I get tired of answering the same question as to the age difference in my kids....lol!

    Tracy

  • 08-14-2007 2:58 PM In reply to

    Re: Over 40 Mamas

    For the love of god are we all drinking napping? What's new in the old and decrepit world?

    I unfortunately watched my 2 year old fall down our cellar stairs over the weekend. I have never been more afraid in my life. I just could not move fast enough (and not because I am old....) Thank GOD he bounces. No ER visit this time, but a fat lip, cuts and bruises aplenty. Anyone else have some trauma they want to share?

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