Babble

When I was a kid we were spanked when we deserved it. Sometimes we would get hit with the belt and sometimes my mother would have to try to catch us as we were running away so we got hit on the back of the head with a slipper. Now that we are adults I and my siblings have spanked our kids. Not as a first resort, but when it has definitely been needed. I don't feel at all guilty about it b/c I have never hit any of them with enough force to injure or bruise and I always give them lots of chances before I go that route. Therefore, I would never judge someone for spanking their kid. That being said, I don't think it's such a good idea to smack anyone in the face. My mother taught us all that hitting someone in the face is a serious sign of disrespect and we were never to do it, and she never did it to us. If she needs a spanking every now and then, you shouldn't feel bad about it, but I do believe location is key.

Yeah... I defenitely have been hearing a lot about location. I told my own mother about it, who when I was a child also did all of the above (spank, use the belt, and the slipper, not to mention pulling of hair and twisting my skin underneath the table if we were sitting at a table), and she, to my own surprise, said I shouldn't hit her on the face. I always told myself that I would never hit my kid, just because I will never forget what it felt like going through it myself. Then again, I was hit until I was about 16- then I tunred on my mother. Needless to say, while I still don't want to take the route my mother did, for fear of my child hating my guts, I am torn. I don't want to be the mother who cannot control her child either. (As a side note.. my mother and I have a wonderful relationship these days regardless of the past).

 I will continue on my search for alternative methods nonetheless, and resort to spanking AND NOT SMACKING as a last resort. My daughter does continue her attempts at hitting when she doesn't get her way and has even started to pull my hair too since this thread began. Now, that... I didn't teach her. She's lucky she is cute!

Just because it is common practice does not make it an acceptable practice.  Spousal abuse was common practice not so long ago, but women stood up for their rights.  Now we protect women whose husbands hit them.  Why not protect a child who is unable to protect themselves?

 I was "smacked" as a child and painfully know the physical and emotional impact.  Now that I am a parent it is my duty to learn more effective ways to deal with both of our emotions. 

If this parent was truly seeking alternatives, and not approval, she/he should have sought expert advice (doctor, psychologist, etc) not put a post up on a website.

There seems to be this suggestion from pro-spanking folks that they rationalize their spanking of the child as the moment occurs. "Little Johnny, I'm spanking you because I've thought about it and I find that I have no other alternative.  I've done all the research and have determined that this is the best method for parenting. This will hurt you more than it hurts me, but you'll get over it (or not) when you go to therapy in 30 years or so". Whack!

 Bullocks.  

Spanking come from anger, frustration, and exasperation.  People simply can't admit that they spank because they feel at a loss for alternatives; get pissed and angry and react accordingly; and because their parents did it and well..by golly...that alone makes it ok.

If the so-called experts can't agree on corporal punishment, I wonder how parents can be expected to agree.

This parent has already said she doesn't hit regularly - which would lead me to believe this isn't a case of an abused child being beaten to a pulp on a regular basis. That said, Mom, it's up to you to decide what you should do with your child. If you don't feel comfortable, don't hit. If you don't think you're affecting your child in the long run - well, I wouldn't say beat her to a pulp, but . . .

Every child is different just as every parent is different. We were all raised differently - and our parents were raised differently. There is no right answer - as much as some people like to act indignant and climb on their high horses, they don't have the right answers either. Because there are NO perfect parents. For that matter, there are NO perfect children.

Our job as parents is just to do our best. Frankly, I'm not big on spanking. My husband and I were hit by our parents on a frequent basis with some nasty objects (the wooden spoon, the hairbrush, a switch he had to cut himself). Has that played into the way we act with our daughter? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean we're any more right than this mom.

Just to play devil's advocate - I wonder what some of these people think of parents who respond to their children's actions with an equal action a la Hammurabi's code. I've seen more than one mom bite a biting child and have some amazing success! So can a smack on the tush cure a hitting 2-year-old? Only her own mother knows.

The "If it stops the behavior, it must be a good thing to do" logic is tiresome. If all parents had to do in their role was stop unwanted behavior, then hell...tie the little brat up and sit em in a corner all day. That will stop just about everything. Oh..except the screaming and crying. But maybe a gag will take care of that. Oh..wait..that's not good for the child. That sounds like abuse. No problem though. I'll just have the little one hike down his pants and I'll wack away with my belt or hand. Yeah..that's it! Eh..F it. Sarcasm off. Back to my own non-spanking world.

Anonymous:

Just because it is common practice does not make it an acceptable practice.  Spousal abuse was common practice not so long ago, but women stood up for their rights.  Now we protect women whose husbands hit them.  Why not protect a child who is unable to protect themselves?

 I was "smacked" as a child and painfully know the physical and emotional impact.  Now that I am a parent it is my duty to learn more effective ways to deal with both of our emotions. 

If this parent was truly seeking alternatives, and not approval, she/he should have sought expert advice (doctor, psychologist, etc) not put a post up on a website.

Wow... it just keeps getting better and better... it's pretty lame that some people insist that posted for aproval.

 

Once and for all.... the reason I posted this in the first place was because I wanted to HEAR ABOUT THE METHODS THAT OTHER PARENTS PRACTICE REGARDING DISCIPLINING A 2 YEAR OLD.

Yes, I FEEL GUILTY about having smacked her. DOES THAT MEAN I CAME ON THIS BOARD FOR APPROVAL OR TO HAVE ANY SO-CALLED WOUNDS LICKED? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

My child is a happy, healthy, and loving human being. I am human, and I do feel that I have made a mistake by having smacked her on the face. Rather than find approval, I thought that I would find some parents who could RELATE to the frustration I felt and who could give me some insight as to how they deal. I though most, if not a lot, would relate. I am certainly appreciative of those who did respond with positive feedback and suggestions. But I obviously did not expect the amount of negative responses that were purely judgmental and like someone else responded plain venomous. GET A LIFE!  If I were abusing my child, I wouldn't be here in the first place. You people are insane! I should go to a doctor because I smacked my kid? Common people... ridiculous!

 Wow, if you get this angry at a bunch of strangers on an internet forum, then I can only imagine what kind of "smack" your daughter is getting. And if you really believe that "I thought most, if not a lot, would relate"., then you really do live in a world in which hitting is an ok thing.

And how in the world could you not expect a lot of negative responses? Geezus, you're basically relating a situation to us about smacking a small  defenseless child  in the face because she's being a typical toddler. And if you're daughter is healthy and happy now I urge you to get some anger mangement, education, support, something ,  before you smack the healthy and happiness out of her.

You can respond defensively if you like, or ignore that, but the fact is that you can beat the spirit out a child and by crossing lines like that and trampling her little dignity already, you could be on your way.

If you do love her and really want answers, then quit wasting your time on the internet and get some real help.

Poor little baby. I hope you do right by her.  

Wow, I bet your clients are just falling all over themselves awaiting your words of wisdom. Anyone else think that Anonymous Venom is a jr. in HS who is procrastinating instead of doing their homework?I know you should never feed a troll, but sometimes you just can’t help yourself. Apparently I have not left high school either.  

 

Is anyone having issues with their toddler hitting themselves? My son is doing it when he is angry with me, but knows if he hits me there will be no TV. He has only been doing it for a few days. This happening to anyone else?

 If I were your kid, I'd hit myself too.

heh

Anonymous:

 Wow, if you get this angry at a bunch of strangers on an internet forum, then I can only imagine what kind of "smack" your daughter is getting.

 Who said I was angry? I think you people are lame, and by no means does that mean you are making me angry. I wouldn't waste my time getting angry at these comments. I am simply surprised and I was just trying to get a point across. 

 

Anonymous:

 Wow, if you get this angry at a bunch of strangers on an internet forum, then I can only imagine what kind of "smack" your daughter is getting. And if you really believe that "I thought most, if not a lot, would relate"., then you really do live in a world in which hitting is an ok thing.

And how in the world could you not expect a lot of negative responses? Geezus, you're basically relating a situation to us about smacking a small  defenseless child  in the face because she's being a typical toddler. And if you're daughter is healthy and happy now I urge you to get some anger mangement, education, support, something ,  before you smack the healthy and happiness out of her.

You can respond defensively if you like, or ignore that, but the fact is that you can beat the spirit out a child and by crossing lines like that and trampling her little dignity already, you could be on your way.

If you do love her and really want answers, then quit wasting your time on the internet and get some real help.

Poor little baby. I hope you do right by her.  

Ok. I read the rest of your post, and now I am laughing! Ha! Go get laid lady!