Babble

I ask, because we are in a predicament of having chosen the worng person for the 'job'. He is never around and doesn't seem to make our child a priority whatsoever. It's not about the religion factor to us. It's about having someone who we feel we an trust and can guide her in the right direction as far as moral guidance, someone she can trust to go to should she not be able to talk to us about something, someone who will be there and someone who has shown they will be there when necessary. If anything happens to us, we want this person to be there for her unconditionally. Not as a guardian, but as support and "father-figure" type person we can count on.

We wanted what I think you want -- a serious safety net. Our son (now 5) has three godparents, each chosen carefully for reasons to balance us. What we have found is that they put into it more or less what we do. Our level of expectation and commitment leads theirs. While that may not be how it is supposed to work, it is how it is. The past 18 months have been really bad in terms of their communication and involved-ness: true, one has opened a Broadway show, one has helped run the elections in Pakistan, and one has gotten tenure/had a baby/bought real estate in Brooklyn BUT their godson has been through a great deal where he would obviously need them, and they have been just not present. Back to what I have put into their relationship with him.I now know that I need to concentrate more of myself on building these relationships, but I fully expect this to pay off when he is older and I really need it to.. . .