My baby is almost 6 months old, so I went through the baby shower fairly recently and have had a decent amount of time to evaluate my choices.
The book, Baby Bargains, by Denise & Alan Fields is a great reference to help you sort through the overwhelming options. It gives an overview of everything baby and then reviews the major brands. It will give you a basis to go shopping and make better decisions.
Where do you live? City, suburbs, rural? Do you drive, walk or take public transportation? Do you plan to breastfeed or bottlefeed? Do you plan to co-sleep? What type of climate do you live in? Will you work or stay at home?
All of these questions are important when deciding what you need. After you answer these questions, do some research, especially on topics like co-sleeping and breastfeeding to get to specific products. Some products are dependent on your baby's personality, which you won't know until the birth. If you answer these questions and read the Fields book, you can make much better choices for yourself about specific products and spending your money wisely.
For example, if you live in the city and walk or take public transport, you should probably skip the infant carseat and just buy a convertible carseat. A baby carrier like the Ergo www.ergobabycarriers.com or the Beco www.ecobabies.com or sling or wrap will be much lighter to carry the baby around than the carseat carrier. However, if you live in the suburbs and have to drive to the store, it is easy to pop the carrier out and put it in the shopping cart for the first few months. I would still recommend a baby carrier like the Ergo or Beco for around the house, walks and after the baby gets to heavy for the carseat carrier (which happens quickly).
Mothering Magazine had a great article on babywearing in the Jan/Feb 2007 issue. You can get a copy from their website www.mothering.com. Some other sites for information on babywearing are www.nineinnineout.org, www.thebabywearer.com, www.askdrsears.com.
I am a stay-at-home mom. My son was born in the States but we live in Cairo, Egypt. I breastfeed and co-sleep.
Here are the things I have that I like:
1. Trumpettes Socks. They are cute, bright colors with a little bit of stretch and they stay on a newborn. My son is still wearing them at 6 months. They jazz up any outfit and are really fun. They are expensive $22 for 6 pair, but they are worth it. These socks are a great shower gift. (In my opinion shoes or slippers before your baby can walk or at least crawl are a waste of money. They don't seem to stay on, either).
2. Robeez Shoes. They are expensive $25+, soft-leather super cute shoes. Good thing to register for, but I suggest registering for at least size 6-12 months, if not bigger. Target has Robeez knock-offs for about $12.
3. My Brest Friend, breastfeeding pillow. I like this a lot better than the boppy. It is flat on top with contoured spots for the head. It straps on and is very convenient for the first few months. It supports your arms while you baby is little and needs to be held up to feed.
4. Ameda Purely Yours Double Electric breastpump. It has the same features as the Medela Pump in Style Advanced, but costs less. If you are a stay-at-home mom, you don't really need this. Most hospitals with give you a manual pump free at the hospital and that is probably all you need if you are going to be home. That said, double electric pumps are much more efficient at milk extraction, so if you have the money to spend, I would recommend the Ameda or the Medela.
5. Beco or Ergo Baby Carrier: Soft structured carrier. The Beco comes in very beautiful in fun prints. The Ergo comes in more man-friendly solid colors and one print. Both have a waist band, two padded shoulder straps that a connected by a chest strap (like a camping back pack). You can wear your baby in front, on the side or on your back. They also come with sleeping hoods. I prefer the two-shouldered baby carriers because the weight is evenly distributed and they are easy to use. Some people have great success with slings and wraps, but unless you have an experienced friend to help you, they can be hard to use. The soft-structed carriers are extremely easy. The carriers require an infant insert to use with a newborn, but most babies won't need the insert beyond the first few months. I also have a Bjorn, but these carriers are much better than the Bjorn. Many of the Bjorn styles do not have a waist band. The waist band is critical. Also, these carriers are easier to adjust than the Bjorn and easier to get the baby in and out of.
6. Diaper Champ. It just uses normal kitchen trashbags, so it is cheaper than the Diaper Genie which requires special liners. Of course, the Diaper Genie does seal of each diaper, unlike the Diaper Champ, but I haven't had odor problems. Of course, you could just use a regular trash can, but the Diaper Champ holds in the odors better than that so it is nice to have.
7. Graco Snug Ride Infant Carseat: cheap, good quality and easy to get in and out and not too heavy. I lived in the suburbs the first few months of my son's life and this came in handy when running errands because he didn't wake up. Just park by the cart return you don't have to carry the seat. Again, if I had my Beco or Ergo, I would have probably just gone with a convertible carseat (I like Britax for convertibles) to start with.
8. Ingelsina Zippy stroller: one-hand fold, 4-position recline, universal carseat adapter, sun bonnet, rainhood, snack tray, storage and cup holder. I really like this stroller, but I don't use it much because I use the Beco or Ergo. Additionally, Cairo has horrible sidewalks and crazy drivers so I find it easier to get around without a stroller. Think about where and when you will be using a stroller to determine which type to buy or if you need one at all. While I really do like my stroller, I don't need it.
9. The Baby Book by Dr. Sears and Martha Sears. I really like the Sears' approach to parenting. They are Attachment Parenting APPROACH. They acknowledge that different things work for different families and common sense above all else. The book is a good reference and with 8 children they have had a lot of experiences.
10. Dr. Brown's Wide Neck Bottles. If you are going to bottlefeed, these are nice bottle, but they do have a few more parts than others to try to reduce the amount of air in the stomach. The wide neck is closer to the breast. I have these for the times I am out, though I breastfeed most of the time.
11. Breastfeeding resource books: La Leche League's Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, Kathleen Higgins and Dr.Jack Newman also have good books. If you are planning to breastfeed, it is a good idea to have one of these books with you. Also, see a Lactation Consultant before the birth and as often after the birth as it takes to get it right. Trust me, breastfeeding is a lot easier than bottlefeeding once you get things established. It took me two months, but now it is great, especially for traveling. Contact your local hospital breastfeeding group or La Leche League group for advice and help if you plan to breastfeed. Go to a meeting before the birth to try to find one that suits your personality.
12. Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper. I don't have one, but everyone I know who does loves it.
13. Nursery Decor: If you co-sleep, you don't any of it. If you are breastfeeding, co-sleeping is much easier for night feedings, or at least having the crib in your room. In any case, all you really need is a fitted sheet. Crib skirts are nice for decoration, but not necessary. Pillows and quilts (or stuffed animals) shouldn't be in the crib with an infant. Sleep Sacks are great, or swaddling blankets. I made a crib skirt and thin quilt and I am not an experienced seamstress. But, since I don't have a crib here in Egypt and I co-sleep I don't use the crib skirt. (I had a crib in the States and was planning to use it, but it felt more natural to have him sleep with me).
14. Medela no-wire nursing bra. One hand release, good support. I wouldn't register for this, but I would buy one before you deliver. Start with one that fits towards the end of your pregnancy. That will get you started. Buy a few more after the birth when you know what size you are. Some people change dramatically. Condessa has some sexier bras, some with underwire some without, but for everday, I'd go with the Medela.
15. Onesies. They are great and you can use them everyday, if not as an outfit, under an outfit to help contain leaks or layer for warmth. For my shower, we had onesies in sizes from 0-3 months up to 18 months. Stencils, fabric stamps and non-toxic fabric paint were provided and the guests decorated them and signed them. Some of them we dyed with non-toxic dye before the shower so I have colored ones as well. It is much more fun than just plain white and makes a great shower activity as well. Hang them on a clothesline to dry and they serve as decoration for the rest of the shower. Also, as many cute two-piece outfits as there are out there, babies look better in onesies with pants than a shirt and pants because the shirt will constantly be riding up.
16. Burt's Bees Baby Wash and Baby Apricot Oil or lotion. They smell so great and you don't use very much so it is worth the indulgence. You don't need powder or diaper ointment unless your baby has a problem, but the Burt's Bees powder and ointment are nice as well.
17. Fisher-Price Space Saver High Chair- small, fits on a regular chair so it won't take up additional space. Has an adjustable seat,5 point harness and safety bar between the legs.
18. Bumbo Baby Sitter: It is a small, soft moulded seat to help babies sit up as soon as the baby has head control. Great for taking pictures.
19. Contoured diaper changing pad. Do not get a cover. The cover will just need to be washed all the time. The pad can be cleaned much easier without a cover. You will be tempted to get one, but you really don't need it. It is more of a hassle than it is worth. You don't need a changing table. Just use this pad on a dresser to make a changing station. Speaking of changing station, you don't need a diaper caddy or accessories caddy. Most people don't use them. You might just want one anyway for the look, but a regular dresser with things stacked is easier. You could also just change your baby on the bed or the floor, but I like having a permanent changing station, at least to store things.
20. Exergen Temporal Artery Thermometer. It is pricey, but it is supposed to be as accurate as a regular one and can be used on infants. Ear and pacifier thermometers can't be used on infants and are supposed to be less accurate. The hospital I delivered at gave me a regular digital thermometer, so you don't need an Exergen, but, again,nice to register for. You could just buy an inexpensiive thermometer.
21. Clothes and blankets. DO NOT BUY CLOTHES OR BLANKETS BEFORE YOUR SHOWER! You will get tons of each, so try to restrain yourself until afterwards so you know what you need. I agree that baby robes are unnecessary. Hooded towels are nice because they are usually softer than regular towels. If there are specific towels, clothes or blankets that you want, go ahead and register for them.
22. Diaper bag. If you breastfeed, a diaper bag isn't as important. You can just get whatever decent sized purse or bag you like and throw some diapers, wipes and whatever else you need for the baby. Bottles take up more space. I got one from www.chesterstyle.com. They come in fun prints, have inner compartments and a changing pad and are only $40.
23. Eurobath by Primo. Tub can be used by a newborn or toddler. It is bigger than most tubs which can be a disadvantage in a small space, but is good for bathing a newborn because it has a reclined back rest with a bar between the legs to stabilize. Most of the time I just take him in the bath with me, though. When he gets bigger i will probably use it again.
24. The On-the-Go Dress from Motherwear in brown or black. Great nursing dress that is flattering for the post-partum shape and can be worn to many occassions. Motherwear has great sales and wonderful resource information for breastfeeding.
25. felicite.com is a registry site that allows you to register for things from all over the web. It is a good idea to register at Target, Babies 'R Us and Burlington Baby Depot for the coupons. Especially, Target. Register now and you will get some good savings in the mail.
You might want to look into having a doula. You can find one on www.dona.org. A doula is a labor assistant who is there with you the whole time during your labor. Doctors, nurses, even midwives with be in and out. A doula supports the husband as well and does not takke the place of the husband but serves as a trusted third-party to help you remember what you learned in child birth class and make sure you understand your options and that your wishes are carried out. A doula can help during the pregnancy as well by answering questions, suggesting reading materials and putting you in touch with local resources like pre-natal yoga or maternity photographers. I had a doula from about 3 months into my pregnancy and she was a great help tp me. My baby was breech and would not turn even after Webster technique, breech tilt, visualization, etc. so I had a cesarean, but even atthe cesarean so was a calming influence on me, my husband and family and she took pictures of my son's first moments so my husband could concentrate on the actual event instead of taking pictures.
One last recommendation is the book Birthing from Within by: Pam England. It really gets you mentally ready for labor and birthing. If you are concerned with the actual process of natural birth or have been freaked out by all the descriptions of what can go wrong, this book will ease your mind.
Congratulations and good luck!
