Babble

 my baby girl is about to be 1yo. she has a willful & strong-minded personality (i love strong women and i see this as a positive personality trait later in life, BUT). for now i can see the beginnings of future tantrum-throwing behavior! so far its small potatoes, like i'll remove a pencil from her hand, SCREAM!... or preventing her from bullying her older brother (!!) she grabs his lovey and actually plays "keep away" and if i step in to help him or if he gets it back for himself, SCREAM!... but i dont know how to teach her that this is not an acceptable form of communication. she is already trying to talk, and is otherwise quite friendly.. 

its about 50-50 on whether she gets her way or not. depends largely on what it is.. food? have it, one spare car or track in her brothers train set? okay, learning to share. but grabbing pencils or computer wires? climbing the bookshelves? NO! although i have learned if i say gently "no no no!" it works better than a stern one.

my older son (2.5yo) has a quiet & shy temperament and never threw a fit until he was past 2, and it was easy to know what to do because he was at an age to be learning about talking and expressing feelings and such.. and learning who's the boss (me, haha)

anyone have experience with this? what kinds of things can i do to help her early-on, before the REAL tantrums kick-in? do i just have to wait until shes older?

Guess what? My name is Bethany too!

 As the mother of two boys ages 3 and 5, I can tell you, tantrums are a pain in the ass and, at least for me, better nipped in the bud while young. My 5 year old started at about 2 and I would just let him throw a fit while I sat quietly 'ignoring' him. I remember one time we were walking to the park and he wanted me to carry him, but I was very pregnant and I just couldn't muster the strength, so I told him 'no'. Well, he collasped on the ground and began to throw a fit. I just sat near him and let him have his fit and I didn't budge. People staired and it was totally embarrasing, but I held strong and let me tell you, that 5 minutes of suck was awesome because after that his tantrums got less severe and didn't seem to happen as much in public.

My now 3 year old is just starting to throw fits (he is hitting is terrible 2's late) and I just tell him if he is going to throw a fit he needs to cry and scream in his room because I dont want to listen to it.

As for your 1 year old, I would say if you are home, I would just tell her that behavior is unacceptable and then put her in her crib or highchair or stroller or playpen and that she can get out when she calms down. If she uses a blanky or passy or stuffed animal as a lovey I would let her have it because it can be used to self soothe. Then, when the fit is over, give her a hug and kiss and go on with your day. If you are in public then I would take her to the car and buckle her into her seat or stroller or whatever and when she is done, do the same thing. It totally sucks the first few times you do it, but if you stick to your guns, you will find it works.

Good luck!

Yes, my one and a half year old has recently started throwing temper tantrums.  If I am at home I generally remove him from whatever the situation is and we have some quiet time, maybe rocking in the rocking chair or just sitting quietly -- sometimes with a pacifier.  It isn't so much a punishment in our household as simply a chance for him to calm down.  It usually involves me holding him gently but firmly and takes a few minutes, but he usually calms down and we get on with our day.

Hope that helps! 

 

 I agree with most of this but if you use a crib, highchair, stroller, or playpen for punishment or time-out or whatever you want to call it, that child will raise hell when you try to place him in that gear for it's nitended purpose. I ignore my son's tantrums unless he's doing something  dangerous, or hitting, then we stop, look him in the eye, say "no hit" or whatever, then resumewhat we were doing with a matter of factr attitude. Strictly business until he calms down, then smiles return.

I have a 14 month old who started to have tantrums.  I would pick her right up or give her what she needed and realized I was just giving in to the tantrums and not stopping them from happening again.  I have started to ignore her after I made sure she was not hungry/thirsty, dirty, or hurt.  Seems walking away helps and the tantrums last a short period of time.  She is still throwing them but not as many.  I make sure she knows that it's unexceptable by saying no, no, no, and shaking my head with a serious face.  Hopefully they will end soon.

 

Good Luck too all!

You are doing the right thing, and if she starts throwing things you can always put her in a playpen till she cools down.  It works for my 19 month old, and now all I need to do is ask if she wants to go in... but ending soon, sometimes, and sometimes it comes back again in waves.  Truth is the terrible two's is a myth it starts when they are one...they lied!

I have a 15 month old and nothing that you all are suggesting works. I have tried timeout, looking the eyes and saying no hitting, if we don't let him get want he wants he will walk away and find something to throw at it or you. If you tell him no or make him stop or try to hold him when he's mad he'll sling back and try and hit you with his head or hit you. Sometimes he hits playing and sometimes it's becuase he's mad. I don't know what else to do to get this to stop or atleast get better. It's been going on for months now even before the 1 year. Any ideas?

 I also have a fiesty 15 month old.  He usually throws a tantrum if I take away something he liked (a medicine bottle, the camera, etc.).  I usually ignore him, but if he is overly worked up I try holding him tight.  He bites me when he is especially mad.  I tell him I  understand his frustration.  Like the previous poster, it seems I am getting nowhere....

I think at that age it is more about prevention than anything. For example, if you don't want him or her to have the camera then keep the camera out of reach. They are so young that there is absolutely no way to reason with them. Prevention, prevention, prevention. And, if that doesn't work and they do get something they shouldn't have then redirection, redirection, redirection. If you take something then replace it with something else or move them to another location in the room. Make it positive. For example if she takes a siblings toy then take it back and say in a very excited voice "Oh, look at this ball over here!" As they get older gradually talk more about it saying something like "Your brother is playing with that train right now but look at this ball over here!" Holding them tight, placing in playpens, etc will not work because they just don't yet understand. Teaching sharing is a wonderful thing but a child that young has no concept of what sharing means. Dont give in when a tantrum starts because that reinforces the tantrum but if one does start say "You cannot have that but you can have this..."

Holy moly, my son is doing this too!  He just turned 1.  I think he's just really started to grasp the word "no."  So whenever I say it -- like, "No, you can't eat the cat food!"  He gets so annoyed ... seriously, like banging his head on the floor annoyed.  Oy.  I'm trying to ignore him, but also don't want him to hurt himself!

We have been through this as well, and several people have made suggestions that have worked for us as well: if they can't have it, try not to leave it where they can reach it, be consistent, take their hands away from things that are "no" while telling them "that's no" (later you can explain why, but for now she won't understand all that anyway). If she's becoming verbal, try face time when she starts a fit and quietly say "we don't pitch fits", then leave her be until she calms down. Taking away the audience frequently quiets the fit as well. With my then-4 year old stepson, when he would pitch a tantrum, I would tell him to go to his quiet place (in his room) until he was done because I didn't want to see that behavior. Once my then-8 year old stepdaughter decided to throw all of her brother's stuff out of their (then shared) room. We let her get it out of her system, then made her put it all back. After that we had a sit-down and explained why they had to share. End of tantrum.