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Is praise too much of a good thing?

Last post 03-12-2008 4:43 PM by csigel. 3 replies.
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  • 11-05-2007 12:00 PM

    Is praise too much of a good thing?

    I ran across this Parenting column from the BrevardCountyMoms website in Florida. Fascinating topic by a very good writer. Here's the link and first few paragraphs...

    http://forums.brevardcountymoms.com/viewtopic.php?t=2354

     Need a second home just to store all the trophies and awards the kids keep getting?

    You'll want to read this month's cover story at Scholastic.com, which asks the heretical question: Is too much self-esteem a problem for American kids?

    Our family has enough certificates of glowing praise for participation in this, that and the other activity to wallpaper the Taj Mahal.

    Commendation from then-Education Secretary Charlie Crist for a top FCAT grade in math? Got it. Two years later the algebra grade was a D.

    Warehousing a gazillion trophies for everything from showing up at bowling league to superb performance rounding the tee-ball bases in the correct order? Yep.

    The kid who specialized in picking daisies in right field got a trophy, too, of course.

    "Everybody has won, and all must have prizes," as the Dodo said in Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland."

    America is a self-esteem-crazed wonderland, according to critics who say what's called "the happiness factor" in education and our culture -- or praise for every little accomplishment -- is doing more harm than good.

     

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  • 11-11-2007 9:08 PM In reply to

    Re: Is praise too much of a good thing?

    I believe I read that article, and the point was that praise should be specific and for actual accomplishments.  Instead of making over a child for things he has to do each day and does without effort, offer praise for his hard work.  For example, praise a child for the craft she brought home by saying how much you like the colors she chose and acknowledge how much time she must have spent on the project.  Don't gush that she's the best artist in her class.  Praise should be warranted to keep its worth and to have positive impact on a child's self-esteem. Makes sense to me.

     

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  • 02-19-2008 4:10 PM In reply to

    Re: Is praise too much of a good thing?

    I am old -- so I am just sharing from my experience.  There used to be a day when a child/teenager/adult would do their best and be satisfied with that.

     The question is asked if too much self-esteem is a problem for American kids, and I think yes -- you bet.  And here's why.

     A child shouldn't have to be praised for doing what's expected. A child indeed however should be praised for things they give their "all" too and work very hard at -- great grades, competing in sports, working hard in their community etc... They shouldn't need to be praised for taking out the garbage, or making their beds, especially when family participation is expected.

    Do we all like to be validated and patted on the back.  Yes, and I am all for that -- but I really think that praising for every little accomplishment is indeed harmful.  Kids need to learn about rejection, consequences and choices.  If they don't how are they ever going to survive in this big world of ours?

    We aren't going to be there forever wiping their bottoms and cutting up their food.  You know what I mean? 

     

    "It's Tough Being Fabulous -- God Knows I Have Had Almost 100 Years Practice"
    WCD
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  • 03-12-2008 4:43 PM In reply to

    Re: Is praise too much of a good thing?

    Bravo,  someone finally stating that giving praise for the sake of "self-esteem" is just plain stupid.  I am not going to praise my kid for doing what is expected, is their responsibility, and for accomplishments that are just not praise worthy.  There are indeed WRONG answers,  and I can not stand it when they give out golden stars for wrong answers,  or for rounding the bases so elegantly.  That is setting a child up for some real hard lessons when it comes to the real world, and a real job, and real life.  It also creates an egomanic adult.  Only give praise for real praise worthy events,  and give criticism if the answer is wrong,  an wrong answer is not a praiseworthy attempt,  its simply a wrong answer.

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