Babble

We went through an agency to hire our Nanny being new parents. We interviewed a number of people and ended up with our present nanny. In the interview, being she was 23, we asked if she had plans on getting pregnant. She assured us that it was not in the plans for a few years and we hired her. Things were great, you pay the additional amount for personalized attention from a nanny but how can you put a price on that? We were blessed with twins and a wonderful nanny. Four months after being hired she came to tell us her and her husband were going to start "trying" for a baby, 3 weeks later she was pregnant. She wanted to bring her child to work with her once she was born and we had some decisions to make. We were not sure if our kids would get the same attention as they did before. We were not sure if she could handle 3 infants. After numerous discussions, my wife and I decided to keep her and things have seemed to work out. We notice a few things here and there but overall she is wonderful to our kids and we are happy.

My question is this...... Is this essentially a Nanny Share now? Should we have dropped her salary now that she is bringing her child to work and essentially getting free childcare. I feel no matter how you look at the situation her time is now divided between 3 children. We have been torn on this so I am asking for some opinions on the matter.

In addition to this issue, we recently found out my wife is pregnant again. Now we have to answer the quesiton all over again is 4 too many? Do we increase her salary being we never lowered it when she brought her child to work? If we do increase it how much?

If your a Nanny or are taking the view point of one let me say this. There is no price tag I can put on a Nannies job. If I was wealthy I would pay her as much as I could but reality is we are not, we just want to be fair. There are alot of jobs that are important that is difficult to put a price on, I feel I have one of them as a Firefighter/paramedic so please do not respond with your how dare you....I really just want to be fair without going into nanny debt.

 congrats to you and the wife!

 first i want to say i was a nanny before having my own child so i can see the difficulty of this situation from both sides of the fence but i will respond as if i were still nannying

..if i were bringing my child with me to a nanny job i dont think i would look at as if i were getting free childcare but rather as bringing him to work. personally i would be a bit miffed if my pay were decreased for bringing my kid with me since i would be doing the same amount of work for your children as i would without my child along (does that make sense?)

generally speaking her wages should increase with the new child since she will be looking after more kids(doing more work) i dont know how much to suggest as every city/person  is different in what they can afford etc.maybe a raise equal to half of what you are paying now (since you are paying for two kids now, increasing by half should be fair since you are adding one child) if you find that four kids are indeed to much maybe you could increase her pay in such a way that she could in turn hire someone for her own child

I can only offer some insight from my particular situation. We hired a nanny who has a child that is just 4 weeks older than ours. I was hesitant at first. I had all of the normal worries -- not enough attention for my child, favoritism for hers, etc. I've found all of those to be unfounded. Hiring a nanny with their own child was one of the best things I did for my child. I work from home so I am able to 'listen in' and I'm always pleasantly surprised at how wonderfully she is balancing things. That balance also benefits the children tremendously. Also, the benefit of companionship for the children is priceless (which might not be as much of an issue for you since you have twins) . One unexpected benefit in my book; a nanny is good -- but a nanny who is a mother is better.

We never considered paying her less because she brings her child. For us, it was just part of the deal. I would, however consider increasing her compensation if you have another child. Additional children are additional work whether it is her own child or yours. The most important thing is that you are happy with your Nanny and she is a good fit with your family. I would pay anything to keep my current Nanny -- she's the right one for us.

Good luck!

 

You should also know that asking a woman if she is pregnant or planning on getting pregnant and then using that information to discriminate in hiring is illegal. 

Craftymmerkat:

You should also know that asking a woman if she is pregnant or planning on getting pregnant and then using that information to discriminate in hiring is illegal. 

If you read my first post you will see that wasnt even apart of anything but I appreciate your legal advice. In asking with her plans on getting pregnant we could have further been able to ask questions to see what her plans were, discuss maternity leave, expenses, us getting a replacement while she was on leave etc etc etc.All of which I think are questions that need to be answered when put in this type of situation. Questions that we had to answer at a later time, one of which she just assumed bringing her child to work was going to be ok.

I think we are getting off the subject though a little bit. I was curious if anyone had or would consider this a Nanny share, but the last part of my question and probally most important ..... Is having 24 month old twins, a brand new infant and a nanny with a 9 month old too much for one Nanny? We had never planned on dropping her pay or not paying her more we just wanted others thoughts on the nanny share.

Thanks!!

Thanks for keeping us on topic, lol!

Anyway, I wouldn't consider it a nanny share. Whether or not a nanny can handle 4 children is something you likely need to consider on an individual basis. I know plenty of situations where one care provider is responsible for multiple children -- but I am sure that job is not cut out for everyone.

Hi there - Four young toddlers/babies with 1 nanny is a tough ratio -- however, in many places, including Massachusetts where I live, it is VERY common for "family daycares" to have 6 children to one nanny. In fact, my eldest son was in just this situation for a year and it worked out enormously well. Here's what I suggest: - you increase her pay with the addition of baby nubmer 3 (yours) but perhaps not as much as you would have if she wasn't bring her own child to work. I think this is fair -- I would happily trade some of MY wages at my job if my work allowed me to bring my child with me. So, let's say you are paying her $1000/month for your twins (you probably pay her more, but let's keep the math simple). Rather than pay her $1500/month when your third child arrives, I'd offer her $1250 or so. - get incredibly organized. Four kids with one person means you need to really get your house in order. Go order catalogues that daycares use to buy furniture/toys, etc. That way you can give your nanny the equipment she needs to appropriately handle 4 kids of varying ages at the same time. Proper activity tables for toddlers, dual high chairs for babies, etc. Make her life as easy as possible so she doesn't spend her day just trying to get the kids organized. I would consider your house a mini daycare and treat it as such --- with cubby holes for each child and ways for her to write down who did what/ate what when and who pooped or whatever you think is necessary. Hope this helps

I just read an article on this, at enannysource.com; here's what it says: Also, the nanny’s salary will be impacted and you will need to have an idea of how much less you will pay her. Unfortunately there are no salary figures that we can provide you. We suggest that it should be on a case-by-case basis. here's the link to the article: http://www.enannysource.com/nanny/should_nanny_bring_child.aspx The main thing is, being able to bring your own child to work with you; regardless if your job is providing childcare or not is a BENEFIT. The vast majority of daycare workers are required to pay for their child's daycare expenses, if they enroll their child in the daycare they work at. Even if their child is in their own classroom. As a parent, with a nanny, I find it unprofessional for a nanny to think it's okay for them to bring their child to work. I'm hiring you to do a job, just like any other job you could get; I would never dare asks my employer if it was okay for me to bring my child to work with me, especially not everyday or on a routine basis. A nanny's job is to care for the children in the household they were hired- plain and simple. And, I totally disagree with the former nanny's comment above about the nanny doing the same amount of work; whenever more children are added to the equation , each child is given less individual attention. Regardless of it being the nanny's child or the employers additional children. So each child isn't given the same amount of attention they were given before the nanny's child was brought into the equation. And, I'm paying for my child to get attention. I'm paying for my child to sit on the nanny's lap all by themselves during storytime, to have the nanny's sole attention while playing with the blocks, etc, etc... I think far too often, women decide to have children and stay at home with their child; then when they want or there becomes a need to bring in an income, they believe they can have their cake and eat it too and just become nannies for other people while still having the freedom of being with their own child all day. And, they believe they should be paid as much as someone who isn't bringing in a distraction from the nanny's primary job responsibilities; caring for the children they were hired to care for.

I completely agree.  I am dealing with this situation right now and it is an absolute disaster.  I have a two year old son and a six month old daughter.  I work from home and hired a nanny who has a three year old son.  She asked if she could bring him to work, and I agreed (I was desperate at the time with a HUGE deadline).  It has been three weeks and it is not working out.  I cannot leave the house (unless one of them is napping) and her son is truly disruptive.  My son is extremely mild, reads alot, plays quietly and doesn't yell or scream often (remember, he is two-year old so it does happen -- just rarely).  My husband and I have worked very hard at positive discipline and being consistent.  Now, our nanny just says "No" to her son all day long with no consequences, raises her voice at him, and gets upset when she sees that I am getting upset.  Her son has hit my son, taken his toys -- even his special lovey -- and thrown it, hidden it and laughed maniacally when my son cries.  He jumps all over the place, screams on the top of his lungs, crashes his cars into my walls and furniture and is completely unruly.  My son has become clingy when he had been independent and my daughter gets NO attention from the nanny because she is consumed by trying to keep her son calm.  While I understand that my nanny has her own discipline issues with her son, and that she has particular childcare needs of her own, they are not my problem and I am not paying her to bring them into my home.  My only advice to anyone is not to risk your child's sense of security and your sanity on this arrangement.  Maybe it can work out but the risk is just too great that it woould not.  I am letting her go this week.

Anonymous:

Now, our nanny just says "No" to her son all day long with no consequences, raises her voice at him, and gets upset when she sees that I am getting upset.  Her son has hit my son, taken his toys -- even his special lovey -- and thrown it, hidden it and laughed maniacally when my son cries.  He jumps all over the place, screams on the top of his lungs, crashes his cars into my walls and furniture and is completely unruly.  My son has become clingy when he had been independent and my daughter gets NO attention from the nanny because she is consumed by trying to keep her son calm.  While I understand that my nanny has her own discipline issues with her son, and that she has particular childcare needs of her own, they are not my problem and I am not paying her to bring them into my home.  My only advice to anyone is not to risk your child's sense of security and your sanity on this arrangement.  Maybe it can work out but the risk is just too great that it woould not.  I am letting her go this week.

Yikes, sounds to me like the problem is due more to the nanny then of the situation.  If I knew someone mothered their child in this manner I would not want them to be a nanny to my child regardless of whether or not she brought her child with her.