Babble

This sounds like a totally bizarre question and was not something I had even considered.  However, I think I may have set a dangerous precedent and am wondering what others do for their nannies.

We just hired a nanny for our baby and I am going back to work next week.  She worked with me a couple of days this week so she could observe our routine and get to know my son.  Along the way, I asked her if there was anything she wanted me to buy to keep in the house for her (I was thinking drinks, maybe a few snacks, non-perishables, etc.)  She suggested we go to the supermarket together so she could show me what she wanted.

Fast forward to yesterday.  As we were leaving for the market, I noticed she'd left her purse at home and asked her if she needed it.  She said no.  When we got to the market, she proceeded to pick out about $40 worth of things, many of which (three kinds of bread, etc.) are perishable and will need to be replaced every week or so. 

This might actually be ok with me if a) she were buying things to cook for and/or eat with my son or b) we ate these things too and she was having what we keep around the house anyway.  However, my son is too small for real food, and most of what she bought (or I bought) were things that we don't eat in our house.  (We are very conscious about "bad" carbohydrates and prefer not to eat them in our home - yes, I know this will change when my son is older but that is a ways away).  So, this food will be hers and hers alone.

I am now unsure as to whether I've set a bad precedent.  I think that I have essentially bought her breakfast and lunch for her first week of work (which I was more than happy to do on a one-time basis), but I'm not sure if I'm now expected to continue doing so.  My employer does not pay for my meals, after all.  I don't mean to sound selfish or mean, but I had a budget for childcare and it did not include an extra $160 a month in groceries that are dedicated entirely to her. 

For those of you with live-out nannies - do you pay for two of their meals a day during the week?  If not, how do I extricate myself from this situation?  Do I simply be honest and say that while I was happy to buy her the initial items to "stock up", she will need to bring her own things to keep at the house?  How do I say that in a polite way? 

I feel like it is one thing if I am buying a little extra of things we buy anyway and sharing it with her, or buying the kind of soda or cookies she likes (the equivalent of offering free coffee, soda, snacks at an office job), but this seems a bit extreme.  I realize that happy nanny=happy baby, but where do I draw the line?

Any thoughts?

I feel your concern about the additional cost.  Childcare is not cheap.  I almost fell in the same situation you are in now.   I have a live-out nanny and she brings her own lunch.  She comes at 9am and leaves at 6pm.  She eats at 1pm when my 16 month old goes down for his nap. 

When I interviewed her, she requested that I have sandwich ingredients at home so she could make herself sandwiches to eat.  But when I called her references, I asked her previous employers if they provided lunch for her and they all said no.  So on her first day of work, I provided her with sandwich ingredients but I told her nicely that I had called her references and they all told me that she brought her own lunch when she worked for them.  She played it off by saying that she was just asking me to provide her lunch for the first day of work in case she or I did not want to continue employment.  Since then, she's been bringing her own lunch.  I provide her with sodas, teas, etc.  and I tell her that she's welcome to help herself with anything in the fridge.  She's been working for us for a year and she has only eaten from our fridge 4 times.  Like you, I don't have a problem with our nanny helping herself to anything that we have but to have to spend an extra $160 a month to feed her is alot!  That's almost $2000 a year!

It sounds like you may still be able to get out of it since it's still early.  Have you tried calling her references and asking them if they provided her lunch?