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• Upscale Mommy

  "Upscale" as in -- OMG!  How the cow did I gain 4.5 pounds in a week?!  Yes, spring has sprung, and so apparently, has my posterior. To recap last Monday's weigh-in... I had lost 3.5 pounds with diet, exercise and a late-breaking stomach virus.  I felt my clothes slipping off of me.  I has lost a total of 6.5 pounds.  I felt my goal to lose 20 by 6/17 was perhaps too easy.  I got Weight Watchers hubris telling myself I was obviously healthy for life with a metabolism that just won't quit.  FOUR POINT FIVE POUNDS.  How?  Why?  I dieted! OK, there was my husband's birthday extravaganza meal at Devi which saw me eating everything that wasn't nailed down.  Oh and last night I had Chinese food while visiting my mom's house on Long Island -- what, you want that my mother should cook?  Oh and also a couple of two-bite thingy's from Whole Foods, originally bought for the babysitter who's so skinny she doesn't cast a shadow.   I exercised! OK, only four out of seven days... I think.  Also I listened to way too many NPR, Bill Maher and Coffee Break Spanish programs on the treadmill, which made my workouts kinda intellectual &  slow.  But still... I HAVE A THEORY!  Obviously, my husband is pumping nutella into my veins as I sleep.  Bad husband! I think I saw a Lifetime movie about this. In the photo you see here, my man unit looks happy enough, probably because his diabolical plan is working. Of course what his motive in this wife-fattening via hazelnut IV scheme might be, I haven't figured out yet but... COME ON PEOPLE, I'VE GOT TO BLAME SOMEONE!  Good, glad we're on the same page. Hey so here's my Hugo this evening at the park. Don't miss his grand finale trick at the end of the vid. Night Internet. Please offer a prayer for my rump to get serious and skinnify itself this week. xoxo, Susie Posted Apr 14 2008, 10:24 PM by Susie Felber with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: npr, playground, weight watchers, weight gain, blame, coffee break spanish, nutella

• The Not-So-Great Outdoors

  That's Hugo at a beautiful playground you've never been to. Now here's video, followed by some thrilling info about this stunning locale.   This playground is in West New York, a town whose name betrays the fact that it dearly wishes it wasn't in New Jersey. The playground is awesome, although when we were there it only had a few teens loitering, boys and girls lying on the ground next to the swings, insulting and punching each other ever so happily. Oh and a guy came in look like he wanted to do something shady, but saw the security guard there and shoved off. West New York has amazing views. But it also currently has a guy who's assaulting women at gunpoint, which sounds bad until you remember the guy who killed a woman and left her in a dumpster.  But West New York isn't all bad. Besides the sex fiends and the murderers it also has great views and smells like exhaust 24/6.  Not 24/7 because it honestly abates a bit on Sunday.* The best part about living in this part of New Jersey?  Even though you're a stone's throw from Manhattan, you never have to worry anyone will drop by unexpectedly, or ever.  Think of the money we save on guest towels.  Why it almost makes up for living in social Siberia!  All the best, Interweb friends, and kisses to you. Next time I'll have pics and photos from a weekend in the truly great outdoors --  the Catskills . Until then, I remain, Susie  *Note to shocked British relatives: I am exaggerating for comic effect.  We do not live in a crime-ridden hell hole.  It does, however, smell.  It's actually a New Jersey law that all towns and cities must smell bad.**  **OK that thing about the smelly town law is not true, but it sure seems like it could be. Posted Mar 21 2008, 11:42 PM by Susie Felber with | with no comments Filed under: baby, weehawken, louisa park, playground, west new york, murder, assaults