"Upscale" as in -- OMG! How the cow did I gain 4.5 pounds in a week?!
Yes, spring has sprung, and so apparently, has my posterior.
To recap last Monday's weigh-in... I had lost 3.5 pounds with diet, exercise and a late-breaking stomach virus.
I felt my clothes slipping off of me. I has lost a total of 6.5 pounds. I felt my goal to lose 20 by 6/17 was perhaps too easy. I got Weight Watchers hubris telling myself I was obviously healthy for life with a metabolism that just won't quit.
FOUR POINT FIVE POUNDS. How? Why?
I dieted!
OK, there was my husband's birthday extravaganza meal at Devi which saw me eating everything that wasn't nailed down.
Oh and last night I had Chinese food while visiting my mom's house on Long Island -- what, you want that my mother should cook? Oh and also a couple of two-bite thingy's from Whole Foods, originally bought for the babysitter who's so skinny she doesn't cast a shadow.
I exercised!
OK, only four out of seven days... I think. Also I listened to way too many NPR, Bill Maher and Coffee Break Spanish programs on the treadmill, which made my workouts kinda intellectual & slow. But still...
I HAVE A THEORY!
Obviously, my husband is pumping nutella into my veins as I sleep. Bad husband! I think I saw a Lifetime movie about this.
In the photo you see here, my man unit looks happy enough, probably because his diabolical plan is working. Of course what his motive in this wife-fattening via hazelnut IV scheme might be, I haven't figured out yet but... COME ON PEOPLE, I'VE GOT TO BLAME SOMEONE! Good, glad we're on the same page.
Hey so here's my Hugo this evening at the park. Don't miss his grand finale trick at the end of the vid.
