Trans Community Worries About “Pregnant Man” Bad Press

re: Trans Community Worries About “Pregnant Man” Bad Press

Treespeed — Wed, 07 May 2008 18:43:56 GMT

Looking at the comments from the previous post it obviously doesn't take much for some folks to throw the Love thy neighbor philosophy right out the window. I think some people need to go back and READ that book they keep shoving down our throats.

re: Trans Community Worries About “Pregnant Man” Bad Press

Sarah — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:30:01 GMT

Hi, I just feel the need to jump in: I am female born and identified, but my partner is part of the trans community. I am the one who is pregnant - so we don't have the same struggles that Thomas's family did - but nevertheless, I have a little insight into that family's situation.

First, in response to chyna823 - most female-to-male transgender folks only have what is called "top" surgery, to remove breasts. Phalloplasty (the creation of a penis from other skin) is *very* rarely done, mainly because it doesn't work - the penis is not functional. Some transmen do have a form of bottom surgery that "unhooks" the clitoris, allowing it to appear more like a penis - but even this is uncommon.

Secondly, Thomas is certainly not the first transman to become pregnant. He's the first to seek this kind of publicity - he is trying to sell his book - but many trans families have made similar choices in the past.

Lastly, as part of the trans community I understand the mixed reaction from "within". Personally, of course I support Thomas and his family and wish them much love and little adversity from those less accepting. I do think he was an articulate and gentle spokesperson. However, the way he has portrayed his situation as unique, with the accompanying "freakshow" reaction - is hard to hear. I fear more for the safety of all transmen's families now that Thomas has gone public.

re: Trans Community Worries About “Pregnant Man” Bad Press

Margaret — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:04:00 GMT

I just thought I would put out there that I live in the same area as this couple and from what I have seen/heard things have seriously died down here. I think that the initial shock of the news has worn off and people are back to living their lives. They seem to have a good network of friends, neighbors and colleauges that care for them and did a pretty good job of protecting their privacy when the paparazzi starting showing up. Hopefully it will remain that way after their baby is born so that they can be like any other family with a new baby and revel in the joy and love they are about to experience.

re: Trans Community Worries About “Pregnant Man” Bad Press

chyna823 — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:54:30 GMT

I do hope for the health and safety of this family. When two adults love each other, I don't see anything wrong about bringing a child into the relationship.

However, when I saw them on the Oprah show, I had a question: Why is Thomas legally considered a man now, when he still has all his girly parts? He didn't have gender reassigment surgery--he had his breasts removed and he began taking testosterone. And now that he's not even taking testosterone, he's as biologically female as any woman who's had a mastectomy. I don't really see why he's being called a "man," other than that's how he identifies himself.

re: Trans Community Worries About “Pregnant Man” Bad Press

mistress_scorpio — Tue, 06 May 2008 13:53:20 GMT

How is it that the least accepting and tolerant among us claim to follow a man who accepted all?

I hope this family stays safe and can raise their child in peace.

re: Trans Community Worries About “Pregnant Man” Bad Press

Manjari — Tue, 06 May 2008 13:48:47 GMT

I just read the comments on your first article about this. I can't believe how many people said such ugly things. This is why I have such a problem with religious zealots. Those people (who wrote the mean comments) talk about God so much, but they are the members of society filled with the most hatred. Is that what they are getting out of religion? Hate thy neighbor?

I also don't understand why people care so much about what anyone else does. If you think the couple is trying to get too much attention, or that their child might be teased, that's one thing. To say that anyone "should be shot" is just so over the top.

re: Trans Community Worries About “Pregnant Man” Bad Press

Daisy Duck — Tue, 06 May 2008 12:48:30 GMT

I see this as a very positive, very loving, very moral situation. And I think Thomas is amazing to have made a decision to undergo gender reassignment (which is a huge, difficult decision and one requiring a lot of thought) but to then be willing to take a temporary step backwards to bring a child into their family. Psychologically, this has to be a real challenge and I admire him for being willing to do it. I'm pregnant at the moment and Thomas and I seem to be at roughly the same stage, so I'm identifying a lot (despite being a heterosexual female).

The comments from the previous article, which I missed, seem mixed, but I think it's interesting how many of them were from self-identified Christians who expect others (whether Christian or not) to live up to their idea of morality. If I were attacking Oprah, or Thomas, or 'lidia' for not being a good Wiccan or Zoroastrian or Taoist, that would only make sense if they were members of that religion. Trying to make an entire, varied society live up to the tenets of a particular religion, just because that's your religion, doesn't really make sense to me.

I hope things go very well for this family and that they bring inspiration to others in similar situations.

re: Trans Community Worries About “Pregnant Man” Bad Press

JaySaint — Tue, 06 May 2008 05:28:07 GMT

I admit to feeling a little spun by the "pregnant man" story. It's got a kind of bizarre attraction.

I saw the Oprah show and I'm terribly concerned for the safety of that family. They struck me as a little bit naive about the implications of their revelations. I would not be surprised to hear that they had become the victims of hate crimes.

I'm not saying they shouldn't have come out. I think that's entirely their call. But I worry for their security and I hope that's been taken into consideration.