4 Ways Birth and Breastfeeding Will Ruin Sex

re: 4 Ways Birth and Breastfeeding Will Ruin Sex

Baconsmom — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:31:21 GMT

I had none of these issues. Logistically, I was just too damn big for sex during the last month or so of pregnancy, so by the time my c-sec incision healed, we were both starved for it.

I've also never seen myself as a mother first. If I do my mothering properly, my child will be gone in another 13 years. My husband, on the other hand, will be around long after that - and if I don't take care of him now (as he takes care of me, and doesn't see himself as a father first), what will happen then? Nothing good, IMO.

re: 4 Ways Birth and Breastfeeding Will Ruin Sex

Manjari — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:19:48 GMT

I had a very strong sex drive during my pregnancy, but my ob wouldn't allow it. I couldn't wait until 6 weeks after the babies were born to go at it again. Once they arrived, sex was pretty much the last thing I wanted. It's been over two years, and it still isn't easy. I think I'm still dealing with 2, 3 and 4.

re: 4 Ways Birth and Breastfeeding Will Ruin Sex

Evie — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 18:39:12 GMT

I completely lost my sex drive while pregnant, and 7 weeks after giving birth I was ready and raring to go! It has been hard though, because our little one hates being put down ever.

re: 4 Ways Birth and Breastfeeding Will Ruin Sex

gpgirl — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 17:15:22 GMT

Great post. #4 was probably the biggest issue with us. When you can hardly rest, how can you possibly find the energy for sex?

Some people might give you a hard time for saying birthing and breastfeeding are anything but perfect. I remember before I gave birth I heard these kinds of things, and then when it was so difficult after my son was born it was very discouraging. I almost gave up on breastfeeding because I felt I was just too lame at it. When I found other women that were having the same kinds of issues, I felt so much better and was able to continue.

re: 4 Ways Birth and Breastfeeding Will Ruin Sex

Lucy — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:55:24 GMT

All four applies to me. Also, having a mirror on the wall that you're facing while you give birth does not help your libido afterwards.

re: 4 Ways Birth and Breastfeeding Will Ruin Sex

Melissa — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:49:15 GMT

I have experienced all four of those reasons. I think reasons 2 and 4 are still operating. Once I get going, we have great sex. It's just that getting going is really, really hard for me. I'm just wired most of the time and when I wind down, I'm ready to sleep. Sigh.

re: 4 Ways Birth and Breastfeeding Will Ruin Sex

taztagore — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 17:36:00 GMT

I feel so fulfilled as a mother--with the love that I give and receive from my child--that sex is the last thing on my mind. So many moms feel this way--and yet sex experts try to tell us that we should feel sexy and want to have sex. I say that until we really want to have sex, we shouldn't try so hard.

laboroflove.typepad.com

Taz Tagore

re: 4 Ways Birth and Breastfeeding Will Ruin Sex

aniz — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 04:51:45 GMT

I'm breastfeeding and had a vaginal delivery and i was afraid I would have no desire after the birth if my son as I had little desire during the latter half of my pregnancy. It turns out I'm more up for it than before I got pregnant- I guess I have more of an appreciation for my body now.