My Daughter Says She's Fat: My Daughter is 5

re: My Daughter Says She's Fat: My Daughter is 5

Karen Murphy — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 03:31:08 GMT

It's not just the girls. My 11-year old son, built like a very tall stick insect, keeps wondering if he's fat. Could it be because his father, my ex, clutches his stomach (flat) and moans about being "fat"?

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re: My Daughter Says She's Fat: My Daughter is 5

Emily — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 21:49:47 GMT

So my daughter isn't the only one who has said this!

She's talked about weight gain a LOT recently, and I think I know exactly where it came from. All I can do is reassure her that she is perfect the way she is! She is only 4! It's possible that at 4, she has a slight case of parrot-syndrome. However, it's not right that kids are facing these kind of situations at any age, let alone before they even hit puberty/high school when it normally gets to be a problem.

Maybe the sooner it happens, the easier it is to guide them back into positive thinking, and then it will help to avoid some trouble down the road.

One can only hope.

re: My Daughter Says She's Fat: My Daughter is 5

squawks — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 20:37:49 GMT

yuck. what hath nicole richie wrought.

re: My Daughter Says She's Fat: My Daughter is 5

CK — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 20:18:03 GMT

Wow, I think I'm more scared by the smiles on those Benetton models (the cords in their necks are sticking out from the effort!) than by their thin-ness. Yuck.

re: My Daughter Says She's Fat: My Daughter is 5

pat — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 20:14:58 GMT

Dear Crank and Vicious,

Yes and yes. My daughter is four and rowdy. In the US she'd probably be called hyper and put on medication. She likes to play soccer with her friend Oskar, but she doesn't like to practice kicking, so, well we're working on that. So far she has not said anything about her weight, but I'm bracing myself for it.

Speaking of weight issues, have you all seen this unbelievable new Benetton ad? I had a little trouble finding it because I wasn't sure if the females in it are meant to be women or girls.....

http://www.benetton.com/html/en/woman/catalogue/03.shtml

....I've been walking by a poster of this ad on our street for a week now and the models look so sick I'm starting to feel ill too. I've started grumbling to my daughter as we walk by, but I'm not sure what to tell her. The fashion industry sucks? Patriarchy's a bitch? I dunno....but I'll come up with something by the time she's five, I swear.

thanks for your words!

pat

re: My Daughter Says She's Fat: My Daughter is 5

viciousrumours — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 18:00:47 GMT

My daughter came home from her father and stepmother's home one day when she was seven and said she needed to go on a diet. I calmly asked her why she thought that and she told me her stepmother had said something to the effect that she was "putting on a little to much weight."

I smiled, sent my daughter off to play and called my ex. He and his wife were promptly informed that if I ever heard such a thing come out of my child's mouth again it would be the last time she went to their home. I made it clear that while the new wife may be obsessed with "thin", it's not the body image I want my daughter to have.

They were angry that I would dare to say anything like that to them, but to this day, my daughter has never been told she needs to "lose a little weight".

You have more control over that kind of thing than you may think. Don't be afraid to assert it.