Strollerderby : wtf

New American Girl Doll Shares Name With Fugitive

Brett Singer — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 21:00:00 GMT

You've heard about the new American Girl doll. Rebecca Rubin. Nice name.

But it turns out there's another Rebecca Rubin out there. She's a fugitive.

Not just any fugitive. One of the FBI's most wanted fugitives. An eco-terrorist, if you will.

The real-life Rebecca J. Rubin was part of a group called the Earth Liberation Front. Perpetuators of "the biggest act of eco-terrorism in U.S. history," according to some. Here is a video report of one of their more notorious acts:

So why pick the same name as a suspected terrorist? (What's next? Barbie Bin Laden? The New York Times quotes American Girl spokesperson Julie Parks as saying that, “Rebecca was one of the most popular names for Jewish girls in 1905, when Rebecca [the doll] would have been born. When researching last names, Rubin was on a list of a handful of other names that would have been appropriate for a Russian-Jewish family but, honestly, Rubin rose to the top because we liked the alliteration and knew that girls could easily pronounce it.” (As opposed to one of those really Jewy names, like Schlemielowitz.)

To be fair, "the company originally applied to register the name [Rebecca Rubin] with the United States trademark office in 2004," according to the Times. Suspected eco-terrorist Rebecca Rubin was indicted by a grand jury in 2006. Still, maybe the next time American Girl is about to launch a new doll, they might want to Google the name. Just in case.

Source: New York Times

Image: FBI (first time that's ever been an image source for me)

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No Hugs For You At Some High Schools

Brett Singer — Fri, 29 May 2009 16:30:00 GMT

According to this New York Times article, hugging is very popular among high school students. A video on the site mentions Hug High School, and calls teenage hugging a "sociological phenomenon." (Hey, whatever floats your sociological boat.)

But at some schools, the big bad grown-ups decided that enough is enough. The Times tells us that "schools from Hillsdale, N.J., to Bend, Ore., wary in a litigious era about sexual harassment or improper touching — or citing hallway clogging and late arrivals to class — have banned hugging or imposed a three-second rule."

First of all, a quick personal note. I'm not that young and when I was in high school boys and girls kissed each other hello. Boys tended to slap hands, either as a high-five or as a slap-into-handshake. I don't remember boys hugging, but boys and girls did, and girls hugged other girls. So I'm not so sure that this "phenomenon" is terribly significant.

Now, back to the issue at hand. If the kids are hanging all over each other in the halls, that could be problematic I suppose. But the problem isn't the hugging, it's that they're standing in the halls. The three-second rule is nuts and won't work. At summer camp, I remember a "6 inches rule" (which now that I type it, sounds vaguely pornographic). Boys and girls had to be that distance from each other at all times. The rule was even enforced by some (though not all) couselors and especially the camp owners, who felt very strongly that the sexes should remain at opposite sides of the room at all times. Because as we all know, closeness leads to touching, and touching leads to... well, you know. More touching.

My children aren't old enough yet but I don't think I would be in favor of a "no hugs" rule. What would be better is teaching kids about boundaries and personal space. Maybe someone doesn't want to be hugged. Maybe it makes them uncomfortable. Maybe you need to stop hugging and get to math class already. I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that if you tell a teenager not to do something, especially something that seems to be very much a part of their daily lives, all you're going to do is make them want to do it more.

What do you think? Is banning hugs a good idea? Or should the grown-ups just, well, grow up?

Source: New York Times

Brett Singer is the editor-in-chief of DaddyTips.com. You can follow his tweets at Twitter.com/brettsinger.

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Baby Toupee Creator Speaks

Brett Singer — Tue, 26 May 2009 21:00:00 GMT

If you made something as dumb as the Baby Toupee you might think keeping quiet would be the best course of action.

But you would be wrong!

TruTV interviewed Graham Farrar who did indeed come up with the idea for a line of baby headgear. Not just hats -- these puppies have hair.

Here's a sample:

Q: Who’s your typical customer?
A: Nuts with kids.

What a card.

Now, I suppose if someone wants to buy this sort of thing -- you know, a "nut" with a kid -- go for it. Apparently Farrar's customer base is mostly reggae fans, since his Bob Marley-esque model (aka "The Bob") is his biggest seller. (One of my colleagues wanted me to say that she feels the jokifying of Black hair is racist -- anyone agree/disagree? Let us know in the comments.) And in this economy, I don't want to bash a small businessperson.

Yet, bash I must.

Personally I'm not a fan of this sort of thing. Babies are cute enough on their own. OK, maybe Halloween. But these wigs look kinda nasty to me. I picture baby food getting stuck in those fake dreads... excuse me, I'm a little nauseous.

What do you think? Cute, not cute? Irie? Offensive? A great big plate of who cares?

Source: TruTV Dumb as a Blog

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Dad Charges Daughter With Grand Theft Auto

Brett Singer — Fri, 22 May 2009 21:00:00 GMT

A girl in Fort Lauderdale, Florida took her dad's car while he was visiting her much younger sibling (19 months old) at the hospital. She's 12. She drove around without the headlights on and hit a police car.

Her dad isn't messing around. He asked police to charge his daughter with grand theft auto. Not the video game -- the crime.

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, this is the second time the girl has stolen her dad's car, according to the AP. On the other hand, it's your daughter. Do you really want her to rot in jail? Is that likely to help?

Something similar happened on 'Gossip Girl' this season. (Yes! I know. You think I'm nuts. Stay with me for a moment.) Lillian Van der Woodsen gives her daughter Serena an expensive bracelet, which is a family heirloom. Then, when Serena does something Lily doesn't like (it's not worth explaining what that was), she calls the police and tells them Serena stole the bracelet. Serena goes to jail. Not exactly the same situation of course, but similar enough. Choosing whether or not to send my kid to jail is a choice I hope I never have to make.

(Side note: what the heck is in the water in Florida? Crazy juice?)

What would you do if your kid were a repeat offender? Turn them over to the police or try something else?

Source: AP via Fox News

Image: SXC

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Single Mom Sells Ad Space On Her Body on eBay

Brett Singer — Fri, 22 May 2009 16:30:00 GMT

One of the things I've always admired about myself (stay with me here) is my ability to work. Ever since I was 16, I've had a job of some sort. Part of that is my skill set -- being able to yak on the phone enabled me to have an embarrassing number of telemarketing jobs, for example -- and part of it is my willingness to find a job and do it, even if its not something I have any interest in. If you need money, you get a job. This isn't to say that this is easy, especially in the current economy. But my feeling was always that no job was beneath me.

My point here is not to toot my own horn. But I was thinking about my job experiences when I read this story on MomLogic about a single mom, BillieJean Irizarry, who tried to sell advertising on her body via eBay. In her mind, this was the best way to make money to support her family.

That can't be the best way to make money. It just can't. I find it hard to believe that there is nothing woman can do. This is someone who, in my opinion, wants to be famous. Now she's "the single mom who tried to sell ad space on her body." Whoo-hoo. Mission accomplished.

Proving my point (sort of) is this: BillieJean was asking $2000 but only got offers of $250. I guess that's a faster way to get $250 than working for minimum wage, but how often can you do that? She has accepted this, telling MomLogic "This idea isn't selling, so I am thinking of doing something else to make money." Oh! Great news. BUT... "I am not sure what it is at this moment, but stay tuned to my eBay page."

If you need money, get a real job. Sorry. Yes, there are circumstances -- living with her who have health problems and are unable to help her watch her three children. But there is absolutely no way that the only option available is eBay. Maybe if she were trying to sell her possessions online, that would be better. But that's it? That's your idea?

What do you think?

Source: MomLogic

Poolside Breastfeeding Violates No Food Rule

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Giant Gummy Bear On A Stick

Brett Singer — Mon, 18 May 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Babble's Food Week has passed but I couldn't resist this one.

It is indeed a "Giant Gummy Bear ... on a Stick. Nearly 90 times larger than a standard gummy bear." 88 times larger, to be precise. Which means that each Giant Gummy Bear is the same as 88 regular gummy bears. Which is a lot of candy. Available in blue, green, orange or red.

Now I love candy. But looking at this photo makes me a little sick to my stomach. That's an enormous pile of corn syrup and carnuba wax. (The folks at Vat 19 posted this information after people requested it. Because you need to know if the giant Gummy Bear on a Stick is healthy or not.) I think this might even make my kids gag, although I'm not sure. One of them is currently eating Ring Pops, which are pretty vile. But they aren't anywhere near this large.

Luckily the company seems to have a sense of humor about their gummy endeavors. Here's a video promoting the product:

Would you eat this? Or let your kids eat it?

Source: Vat 19

Baby Asleep On Dad's Head

Children's Books You Will Never Read

Japanese Potty Training Video

Hot Dogs With Spaghetti Inside - What's NOT For Dinner

Boy With Toy Gun Shot By Deputy

Brett Singer — Tue, 12 May 2009 21:00:00 GMT

You hear about things like this happening from time to time but you always hope it will stop. But it doesn't.

A boy was "playing cops and robbers" in Palmdale, California when he was shot by a Los Angeles County sheriff's deputy. He is now in the hospital in stable condition.

The police were responding to complaints from neighbors that someone was "riding a bicycle and brandishing a handgun." Deputies arrived on the scene, told the kid to drop the gun, and he pointed it at them instead. According to the report, the boy is 15, which seems a little old for that sort of behavior.

This quote, from sheriff's spokesman Deputy Ed Hernandez, is disturbing: "The deputies, fearing for their lives, shot him once. Later on, they determined it was a juvenile playing cops and robbers." I'm not blaming the police, especially since if the boy was really 15, he should know better. But the idea that a kid can have a gun that looks enough like a real one (the photo above is of a toy gun you can buy at Amazon.com) for a trained police officer to fear for their life...

Source: LA Times

Image: Amazon

10 Year Old Author Alec Greven Is Back

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Japanese Potty Training Video

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Women Switched at Birth Find Out 56 Years Later

Brett Singer — Tue, 12 May 2009 18:00:00 GMT

In the Rolodex of Potential Parental Nightmares, having your baby switched with someone else's at the hospital is definitely in the top 10.

Now imagine that happening, but you don't find out until 56 years later.

From Fox News:

On a spring day in 1953, two baby girls were born at Pioneer Memorial Hospital in eastern Oregon. They grew up happily, got married, had kids of their own and became grandparents. Then last summer their lives were turned upside down.
Kay Rene Reed Qualls found out that she and DeeAnn Angell Shafer were switched at birth.

I mean, what the hell? Amazing story of course. But would you even want to know? Fox News says that "a woman who knew both their mothers called Qualls' brother with her suspicion" that the switch had occurred. So they went out and got a DNA test, and yep, the yenta was right.

After the test, Ms. Qualls said "I cried...I wanted to be a Reed — my life wasn't my life."

But it is your life, isn't it? I've never been in this situation before, but it comes up a lot on television. For example, on "Gossip Girl" (stay with me here, and spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen the show and is planning to watch it on DVD) Rufus finds out that his ex-and-now-current lover had a baby that she gave up for adoption. It was his. So he becomes obsessed with finding the kid, insisting that the child needs to know "his true father." They eventually find the family that adopted him, and they lie to Rufus and tell him that the kid was killed in an accident. Why? Because they don't want this "fancy New York couple" to take their son away from them. WHY? Because they lost their biological son in an accident, the same one they told Rufus killed his biological child, whom they adopted and can't bear to lose. (It's a good show, I'm not describing it well. Trust me.)

I know the situations aren't the same, but it's the same general idea. Does it matter what's in your blood? The people who raised you are your parents, right? Or does it matter? I'm not passing judgment. (Unless you tell me "Gossip Girl" sucks and I'm too old to be watching it. OK, I'm a little too old for the show. But it doesn't suck.) This is one of those situations I've never been in so I don't know how I'd feel if I were.

Would you want to know your "real" family? Would it effect how you felt about the one you grew up with?

Source: Fox News

Did This Woman Commit Suicide Because She Couldn't Breastfeed?

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Crocheted Doll Gives Birth

FEMA Coloring Book Features 9/11 Image

Boy Accidentally Shoots Self With Forgotten Gun

10 Year Old Burned By Tanning Bed

Brett Singer — Wed, 06 May 2009 15:00:00 GMT

This makes me mad.

ParentDish tells us about a 10-year-old Welsh girl named Kelly Thompson. Kelly spent 16 minutes in a tanning bed and suffered burns over 70% of her body. If she had stayed in the bed for two more minutes, she would have needed skin grafts, according to the Daily Mail. The girl has been told to stay out of the "direct sunlight" for 10 years because her skin is now much more susceptible to skin cancer.

10 years! It's like she became a vampire.

The tanning salon is unmanned, and the tanning beds are coin-operated. Also from the Daily Mail is this quote: Julie Barratt, of the Chartered Institute of Environmental Health, said: "Allowing this industry to self-regulate is not working. Unmanned suntanning salons are a particular problem as they are subject to no controls at all. The only way we can protect young people from this sort of self-inflicted damage is to control the use of sun-tanning facilities by legislation."

Well, maybe. There's something else that will help. Telling kids that tanning is a really bad idea. I know, that won't always work. But that photo is of Kelly and her mother, Sharon Hannaford, who is demanding a ban on unattended tanning. Not to be catty, but where do you think Kelly got the idea that tanning was something she should be doing?

Source: DailyMail via ParentDish

Japanese Potty Training Video

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OctoMom's Kid - Bite Mark And Black Eye

Brett Singer — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:30:00 GMT

This is disturbing.

Social Services paid a visit to Nadya Suleman's home the other day. Surprisingly, this isn't a regular occurrence. They were there to investigate because one of the OctoMom's children, Aidan, had gone to school with a black eye and a bite mark on his back. After a 45 minute interview, investigators left without taking action.

Orange County Child and Family Services and La Habra police did not comment because, you know, things like this are supposed to be confidential. Nadya, however, did an interview with her exclusive outlet, RadarOnline. (Remember when Radar was this hip and cool magazine? Yeah, not anymore.)

In the interview, she managed to make me question her parenting skills even more than I might have previously, which is impressive if you think about it. She tells the interviewer that the social services visit was her fault, because she didn't see the note that Aidan's teacher had pinned to his backpack asking about the injuries. To be fair, I've missed notes as well, but they weren't asking me if my children were participating in after-school cage fights. The scariest line to me is that Aidan's black eye is from "falling down," something he does because he has autism. There's a moment where Nadya says the black eye is from his meltdowns, and "in the process of throwing him... throwing himself on the floor..." I know, it's just a slip, but it's creepy.

As for the bite mark, Nadya says it's from one of his siblings. (To borrow a line from Robin Quivers on the Howard Stern Show, "They're eating each other!")

In the video, you get to see Ms. Suleman attempt to discipline one her kids as he first hits his sibling, then hits the camera. "We're just starting time outs," she says. Seems to be working great. She also tells us that the officials told her they were impressed with how well the family was doing, and "how well-organized her home was." Wow. I don't believe that statement one bit.

I know. It's not fair to criticize parenting skills. Right? Except that she's making these videos on putting them online. Mostly I just feel bad for the kids. There's no way they could possible be getting anything resembing a decent amount of attention from their mother.

Source: AP via Yahoo and RadarOnline

Suleman Cashing In - Trademarks Term Octomom

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FEMA Coloring Book Features 9/11 Image

Brett Singer — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

Maybe it doesn't matter which party is in charge. FEMA is just clueless no matter what.

The latest head-scratcher from the agency that brought you the Hurricane Katrina fiasco is a coloring book that features the following image.

Yes. That is a plane flying into two buildings that are side by side. Twin Towers. Remember them?

After an outcry (translation: someone noticed), FEMA took the image off of their web site and issued the following statement, according to MomLogic:

"We removed the content from our website after reviewing www.FEMA.gov for appropriate material. FEMA for kids assists children in understanding disasters and we will continue to post appropriate material that supports its mission."

Does that mean that they usually don't review their materials before they get posted online? Wouldn't that be a better method?

This isn't the first weird kid-related thing FEMA has given the world. My personal favorite is the "FEMA for Kidz Rap," which features the following flow: "Disaster prep is your responsibility / And mitigation is important to our agency." This little ditty makes Vanilla Ice sound like Ice Cube.

Over at MomLogic, two commenters don't see what all the fuss is about. "I like it. How else are kids going to learn about 9/11?" Well, let's see. For one thing, they could learn about it from their parents. Or their teachers. Or are government-issued coloring books the preferred scholastic method in some communities?

I'm not saying that 9/11 has to be kept a secret. But what purpose does a coloring book like this serve?

What do you think? Should FEMA put the page back on their web site? Or should it not have been there in the first place?

Source: MomLogic

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Family Awarded Millions For Circumcision Mistake

Octo-Mom Home With All Eight Kids - VIDEO

Brett Singer — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 18:45:00 GMT

Nadya Suleman, the Octo-Mom (do we really need to say that anymore?), has "finally" brought the eighth and final octuplet home to roost. Jonah is his name. (Someone less sensitive than I would make a whale joke here. But I won't.)

RadarOnline has the EXCLUSIVE video of Nadya and the children. The kids are cute. There are a lot of them. She already has six. That makes fourteen.

We know all of this, of course. The question is, do we still care?

Is anyone else surprised at how quickly we seem to have become uninterested in Mme. Suleman? I wonder if whoever signs her up for a TV show is prepared for "Denise Richards – It's Complicated" level ratings. I mean, would you watch an Octo-mom show? Maybe at first, but for how long?

Anyway, here's the video for those who are interested. I sort of am. But I think I've reverted to feeling sorry for the kids, and even slightly sorry for her. Not that I think she didn't create this situation, but, as Hannah wrote, she seems like she might be "crazy in a way that requires compassion and serious psychiatric treatment, not a media campaign, and definitely not a fertility clinic." Well put.

Source: RadarOnline

Another Day, Another Dollar, Another Octomom Exclusive Interview

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Suleman Cashing In - Trademarks Term Octomom

The Secret to Octomom's Expensive Pregnancies

Open Letter To The Woman Who Pushed Me While I Was Picking Up My Kid

Family Awarded Millions For Circumcision Mistake

Woman Will Go Free If Son Comes Back To Life

Man Jailed For Spraying Urine On Food And Children's Books

Brett Singer — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 22:00:00 GMT

So. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I should never – NEVER – say "I've seen it all before." Cuz d-d-d-daddy you just ain't seen nothing yet.

Londoner Sahnoun Daifallah is an "unemployed chemist", which I believe means "pharmacist" in London language. (They talk funny over there.) He was found guilty of "four counts of contaminating goods."

What does that mean? Oh, you want to know. Don't pretend you don't.

Daifallah, who one assumes is mentally ill and rather upset about something, was walking round with "a mix of his waste in a container of weed killer concealed in a laptop bag," according to the AP. By "waste" they mean the stuff you find in diapers. The liquid kind. And the not-liquid kind as well. But mostly the liquid kind.

Why liquid? Why, the better to spray stuff with, my dears!

First began his rain of terror by, um, marking his territory at The Air Balloon pub, leaving behind a "horrendous smell," according to pub worker Kate Rochead. Before he was through, he hit the frozen french fries at one supermarket (prefers them fresh, one assumes?), the wine section at another, and then a bookstore. For reasons not discussed, he focused mostly on the children's section.

How do you pee on Pooh? That's just wrong.

Daifallah is Algerian and will likely be deported, according to the article. I mean, I'm all for potty humor, but this just isn't funny.

What will tomorrow bring? I don't know but let me say this – I'll try not to be surprised.

Source: AP via StarTribune.com

Image: Amazon

Wolverine Blow Up Toy

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Peeper Madness - Control Your Wii With Peeps

Brett Singer — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 23:00:00 GMT

In a very real way I don't want to think about how this is possible.

Do Peeps contain some substance that acts as a conductor for Bluetooth, the wireless technology in the Wii-motes? If so, could you use a Peep as a cellphone headset? Could a Peep replace your wireless mouse? And if you eat too many, could some nefarious ne'er do well control you? The mind boggles. Or perhaps I've just eaten too many Peeps.

Source: Gizmodo via Buzzfeed

More Peeper Madness

Peeper Madness – Nude Peeps

Peeper Madness - Peeps On The Pole

Peeper Madness - Supeep Court

Parents Get Eyebrows Waxed For Jonas Brothers Tickets

Brett Singer — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

Note to self: if my son ever asks what I will do in order to get him tickets for a concert, the answer is "pay for them, if the price is not too unreasonable."

The correct answer is NOT "have my eyebrows waxed."

Watch this. Not entirely safe for work, since it features EYEBROW WAXING. (Unless you work at a salon, in which case you probably see stuff like this all the time. Except people are paying for the service and they don't expect to get Jonas Brothers tickets.)

The event/stunt/proof of the coming apocalypse was set up by a DJ on radio station Y100 in Miami.

The scarier thing is that this isn't the first time parents have done stupid stuff to get Jonas Brothers tickets for their kids. I guess the shows sell out so getting in requires extraordinary measures.

To all parents who are considering doing something extreme because your kids really really really want to see the Jonas Brothers (or any other concert for that matter) I have a suggestion. Tell them no.

Source: TMZ

Image: Amazon

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Open Letter To The Woman Who Pushed Me While I Was Picking Up My Kid

Another Hospital Baby Mix-Up, Now With Added Racism!

Baby Snuggie

Brett Singer — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 03:00:00 GMT

Sweet Christmas.

You are probably familiar with the Snuggie. It's a blanket with sleeves. It sort of looks like a robe. Here's the ad if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

The Snuggie has been featured in The New York Times, more than once. It was recently embraced by conservatives such as Joe the Plumber and Tucker Carlson. (The sad thing is I don't know which one of those guys has a better career at the moment. But I digress.)

So what's an entrepreneur to do? Well, in the words of the great Homer Simpson, take an existing product and put a clock in it. Or, in the case of the Baby Snuggie, a second head.

OK, now let's be specific. This product is actually called the Peekaru, from a company called TogetherBe. And I think it came out before the Snuggie. Can't tell.

Also -- don't care. Because when I look at that photo, all I can think of is the alien fetus thing from 'Total Recall'. Kuato. Remember him? (I'm not posting a photo for fear of offending any delicate sensibilities. If you want to see Kuato, and see how right I am, click here. But don't say I didn't warn you.)

One more thing from TogetherBe's website. If you click on "Learn more about the Peekaru™ today!" you get this page.

Opening for baby! Or Kuato. Whatever works.

Would anyone buy this? I mean, it's only 80 dollars. OK, OK, $79.95. Plus tax. And shipping. And possibly YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL...

Source: MomLogic

Jimmy Kimmel And The Octomom

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Surrogate Agency Disappears With Potential Parents Cash

Open Letter To The Woman Who Pushed Me While I Was Picking Up My Kid

TV Is Neither Good Nor Bad For Babies (unless they see infomercials, then it's very, very harmful.)

Family Awarded Millions For Circumcision Mistake

Brett Singer — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:00:00 GMT

I know there are lots of people out there who regularly scream about how trial lawyers are destroying the world through lawsuits. And doctors are having trouble keeping up with their malpractice insurance payments. But here's a case where I think you'll agree the award isn't enough.

Four years ago, a boy had part of his penis cut off during a circumcision. The part could have been reattached if his pediatrician had acted quickly enough to do so, according to the plaintiff. A Georgia jury agreed and awarded $1.8 million to the boy and $500,000 to his mother. Their names are being kept private, but the doctors' names aren't. They are "Haiba Sonyika, the obstetrician who performed the circumcision, and Cheryl J. Kendall, the pediatrician who treated the child later." The hospital was not found to be at fault.

See, this is a big screw-up, especially the part about the pediatrician not doing enough to re-attach the, um, piece. This is assuming that the jury's verdict is accurate; I don't know the specifics of the case, so I'm going by the article I read.

I'm always curious how a jury comes up with an amount of money in cases like this. This time, the mother received $500,000 for psychotherapy, and the $1.8 million for the boy "was based on a per-day formula for the child's life expectancy."

The attorney for the plaintiffs, David J. Llewellyn, "has been representing victims of wrongful circumcision and genital injury since 1995." So calling him "some dickhead lawyer" isn't an insult. (Sorry. But sometimes they make it so easy.)

Also interesting was the defense team's strategy of loading the jury with women. Another attorney for the plaintiff, Craig T. Jones, thought this wasn't going to work. "I figured if you have one man on the jury, he can explain to the women -- if they don't know -- how important a penis is to a man's self-image." Yeah, even if they don't, I would say cutting off anything that you weren't supposed to during an operation is a bad idea.

Source: Law.com

Image: SXC

Texas School Accused Of Student Cage Fighting

Abortion Ads On Television?

Parents Forgo Circumcision to Save Money

Woman Will Go Free If Son Comes Back To Life

Brett Singer — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 13:30:00 GMT

In what has to be a first, a Maryland court has accepted a plea bargain where she will testify against her fellow cult members and plead guilty -- unless her son is resurrected.

22-year-old Ria Ramkissoon is accused of refusing to feed her son Javon because "he didn't say 'amen' before breakfast." Ramkissoon and other parents were allegedly ordered to do this by a woman named Queen Antoinette, the leader of a group called One Mind Ministries. Queen Antoinette is charged with murder and child abuse resulting in death; in exchange for her testimony, Ramkissoon will plead guilty only to the latter charge.

Prosecutors do what they have to do to get convictions, so I guess the deal makes sense. In fact, they included very specific stipulations, claiming that the rebirth "would need to be a Jesus-like resurrection…It cannot be a reincarnation in another object or animal." So if Ramkissoon brings in a cabbage and says, "this is my son," no dice.

The only question I have is this: if Ramkissoon said that she believed her son had only traveled to Mars and would return in a year, would the same deal have been offered? Would that belief be any less sane? Is it possible that prosecutors are taking advantage of a mentally damaged individual? Or is this reasonable because the resurrection deal (which hopefully won't become commonplace in our courts) falls under the category of religious beliefs?

That's a tough question to answer, of course. For now, hopefully the people responsible for this horrific crime will be brought to justice.

Source/Image: Washington Post

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Texas School Accused Of Student Cage Fighting

Brett Singer — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Next time you have complaints about your children's school, remember this story. Because things could be worse.

According to a report obtained by the Dallas Morning News, school officials at South Oak Cliff High in Texas (ironically known as "SOC", pronounced "sock", as in "sock it to me") had students settle their differences by fighting. In a cage. This did not happen last Tuesday. It happened back in 2003 and continued until 2005. And no one did anything about it.

Listen to this quote:

"Superintendent Michael Hinojosa told the newspaper that there were 'some things that happened inside of a cage' and called the fights 'unacceptable.'"

See, the only thing that should be happening "inside of a cage" at school is a hamster being fed. Maybe a little jog on the ol' exercise wheel. The hamster, I mean. Perhaps a bunny. I'm thinking cages at schools are for class pets. Students generally should not be doing ANYHTING in a cage. Especially at school.

In a blog entry at The Dallas Morning News web site, Kent Fischer digs up a few facts about former SOC principal Donald Moten. Moten allegedly "not only allowed [the fights] to take place, but that he egged on the participants." Hey, at least he wasn't just picking up a paycheck, right? Fischer points out that Moten's other "accomplishments" at SOC include "An athletic grade changing scandal, times two," "Allegations of credit card abuse," "Allegations of inappropriate sexual relations with students' mothers." Oh, and of course -- "Cage fights." The piece questions why Moten was even hired for the $92,000 a year job in the first place, since his employment history includes a stint as a police officer where he faked his own kidnapping.

When I was a student at a New York City Public School, people would always ask me how horrible it must have been. Sure, there were problems. But we never had anything like this. Well, as far as I know.

Source: Yahoo! News

Image: SXC (stock photo)

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Gloria Allred Sits On A Booster Seat

Brett Singer — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Reading this headline might cause you to think that we're being mean. Before you darn me to heck, though, consider this -- it's true.

W Magazine developed a fascination with Ms. Allred not dissimilar to our own. A key difference is that W Magazine's office is in the same building as Allred's, so staff members at the mono-syllabic-named mag popped in on a recent press conference she had regarding the OctoMom. (Nadya Suleman, perhaps you've heard of her?)

Anyway, among other amusing observations, the editors noticed that the "small and compact" attorney (their words) was seated on an actual booster seat. This one.

What seems odd to me is why Allred wouldn't just get a phone book, or a more grown-up version of a booster seat. Like maybe a pillow. The W editors wonder if "Maybe it's something she picked up from the Suleman kids?" Either that or product placement. Only time will tell.

Image: WMagazine.com

OctoMom's Second Publicist Quits

AUDIO - OctoMom 911 Calls Released

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OctoMom Says Denis Beaudoin is Not OctoDad

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UPDATE - Josef Fritzl Sentenced To Life In Psychiatric Institution

Brett Singer — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:35:00 GMT

UPDATE: Josef Fritzl has been sentenced to life in a psychiatric institution. While onthe surface this seems like justice has been served, The Scotsman says that the ruling means he could be free in 15 years if a doctor says he's been cured of whatever they decide is wrong with him. Basically, Fritzl is eligible for parole in 15 years. It's not a big chance, but it could happen. Which would be bad. The Scotsman's Stephen McGinty does say that, "It is likely...that [Fritzl] will die in prison," since he is 73 years old.

Earlier posts follow.

*-*-*-*-*

Josef Fritzl's daughter Elisabeth testified against him on Tuesday, according to CNN. Thankfully, it was by videotape. Elisabeth and the children she had as a result of her father's abuse are living in an undisclosed location with new identities.

How do you go on after something like that? I'm amazed and oddly impressed that Elisabeth has the strength to go on living, much less testify against her father. Of course, I imagine she would like nothing more than to see him go to prison for the rest of his life.

The case has become a major media event in Austria, with crowds gathering in and out of the courtroom. Press has been barred from certain parts of the trial, including Elisabeth's testimony.

*-*-*-*-*

CNN is reporting that Josef Fritzl will plead guilty to rape and incest on Monday. He will not plead guilty to charges of "murder, enslavement and assault." Fritzl's lawyer says that his client "expects to spend the rest of his life in prison." Um, yeah, that sounds right. That said, the charges he's pleading guilty to carry relatively short prison terms -- five to fifteen years for rape, one year for incest. The biggest is the murder charge, which, as discussed below, some experts think will be tough to prove. I guess it's a good thing that Fritzl will definitely be found guilty of something, although if he goes to jail for only a couple of years, that would be tragic.

Original post follows.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Josef Fritzl, the man who kept his daughter locked in the basement for more than 20 years and impregnated her multiple times, is finally going on trial.

Disturbingly, he may spend only 15 years in jail. Or less.

According to London's Times Online, the "Austrian incest monster" is about to stand trial for "murder, incest, unlawful imprisonment and enslavement." Fritzl thinks that he could receive less than 10 years in prison.

He may be right. Some lawyers feel that the murder charge, which is based on the fact that he allowed one of the children he had with his own daughter to die, won't stick. That leaves rape as the biggest charge, which under Austrian law carries a 15 year sentence. Parole, good behavior -- he could be out in five years.

I know that everyone is entitled to a defense, but the one that Fritzl and his lawyer are offering is almost as disturbing as what he did. Fritzl is "claiming that his daughter was having sex when she was barely out of her teens. She smoked. She took drugs. She drank. He wanted to save her." His lawyer, Rudolf Mayer, says of his client: "He is not a monster. He loved his daughter in his own way." The father also says that he took good care of his "captives", citing the fact that the bird he bought them lived as evidence of good air quality in their underground prison. (This is at least consistent with the insane statements he made last year.)

As a quick reminder, Fritzl kept his daughter Elisabeth in the basement, along with some of the children they had together. Three of them were allowed to live upstairs -- the "upstairs children". The cellar was equipped with soundproof walls. Elisabeth was forced to write a letter saying that she had run away and joined a cult. This was a well thought out crime. Fritzl says that he is "not normal," but that's as close as he's come to an apology.

Making matters worse, prosecutors may cut a deal that will allow Fritzl to choose the prison where he serves his short sentence. One that lets him sing in a choir and take cooking lessons. When he gets out, he wants to go back home and live with his wife.

According to the Times, many feel that this situation could have been avoided if social workers had done their jobs. That may be the case, but the idea that this monster could get off with a light jail sentence in a country club prison is horrible. Not as horrible as what he did. But it's pretty close.

Source: timesonline.co.uk

Image: BBC

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Jimmy Kimmel And The Octomom

Brett Singer — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Now that I'm a parent I find that I don't have time to watch late night TV, but Jimmy Kimmel seems to have gotten pretty funny while I was busy with my brood. Luckily I can catch it all in dribs and drabs online. (Note: these are only sort of safe for work/the eyes and ears of your kids, so proceed with some caution.)

Like the rest of us, Kimmel has been taking pot shots at Nadya Suleman, aka the Octomom. Unlike the rest of us, he has a staff of writers and video people. (None of these are examples of tremendously complex comedy but it probably helped to have, you know, help.)

This video is really all about the wax lips that Jimmy puts on (and eventually eats) when he "plays" Nadya Suleman on his late night talk show. So it's a cheap gag, but still kind of funny.

It is a little gross when Jimmy/Nadya pulls out a Mason jar of embryos and sits on them. But again, it's kind of funny in a Beavis/Butthead sort of way. I'm also not sure whether he's talking about Nadya or Dr. Phil when he says he wouldn't "give money to that lunatic."

Jimmy also has video of the birth:

The babies are flyin'. Look out!

And Jimmy looked at the video of Nadya and her mom:

That little edit at the end didn't happen. It's kind of like the scene in 'True Lies', where Ah-nuld imagines punching out the car salesman who was lusting after his wife. Wish fulfillment. Something tells me Nadya's mom wouldn't mind having a DVD of that clip to watch when things get tough.

Image: DailyTube

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4 Year Old Brings Pot To School, School Bans Backpacks

Brett Singer — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 02:30:00 GMT

When I was young and went to summer camp, people were always amazed when I said I was from the Bronx. I remember one kid actually took two steps back when I told him. Because people from the Bronx, you know, they were scary.

Clearly those guys didn't know what they were talking about. The really dangerous kids are from Florida. The 4 year olds.

Check this out:

A 4-year-old at a Tamarac preschool caused a furor when police say he pulled a plastic bag of pot from his book bag and casually told a classmate, "That's my brother's weed."

Can you imagine? What do you say to that? How does a 4 year old even know what "weed" is? His older brother, who is 21, must have told him when he hid his baggies in junior's bookbag.

The pot, by the way, is "scheduled to be destroyed." Wouldn't want to rush into anything, guys.

Here's the funny part. The school, in a reaction that I like to call "I have a headache THEREFORE I have a brain tumor", has banned bookbags. All of them. Because clearly, the backpacks are the problem. (Dora the Explorer had no comment.)

Source: Sun Sentinel and TRB.com via DetentionSlip and ParentDish

Image: Amazon

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The Dr. Phil And OctoMom Show

Brett Singer — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 01:30:00 GMT

Who needs a publicist? Dr. Phil seems to have decided that he's going to ride the OctoMom Express as far as it will take him.

First, he convinced Nadya to accept help from Angels in Waiting. They may be sketchy, but if Dr. Phil says it's the right thing to do, then that's what

Then he visited the octuplets. Here's a clip:

I like the part where he says, "Oh, of course you see them all the time." Because we need to be reminded of that.

And now he's going to reveal what the arrangement is going to be -- but not until his next show! Because he cares about... ratings.

I understand that Dr. Phil is a TV host and he wants to make money. That's fine. But he pretends that he's being somehow helpful. That's not fine. I mean, he has exactly the same license to practice therapy that I do – none. Nadya Suleman needs actual help, and I don't just mean changing all those diapers. I mean, Angelina Jolie can't adopt all eight of her kids, right?

Source: All over the freakin' Internet

Image: Me and Photoshop

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OctoMom Video Blog at RadarOnline

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Gloria Allred Offers To Help OctoMom

OctoMom Says No Dating For Her

Video: Homecoming For Octomom's Babies!

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OctoMom's Second Publicist Quits

Brett Singer — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 03:23:00 GMT

Victor Munoz, the second publicist to take on the OctoMom as a client, has quit. He's also talking smack.

From Us Magazine:

"It just got to be too much," he says. "It's pretty much a free for all over there right now. They are freaking out right now.
"Not to sound arrogant, but those people depended on me for everything," he continues. "You have no idea what I’ve had to do for these people.
"Nadya got real greedy. This woman is nuts," he adds. "This I can say: what ultimately destroyed the business arrangement was personal reasons."

Here's the best part:

Munoz -- who plans to meet with his lawyers Monday to go over the terms of his contract and confidentiality clause -- did not go into further detail.

Oh! Well thank goodness he didn't go into any further detail. And I'm sure we're all thrilled that he's going to see what confidential information he can share.

It was never clear to me why Nadya needed a publicist. Anyone who worked for her should have realized that they were getting involved in a situation that was unlikely to end well. Having worked in PR, I can honestly say that sometimes a client is not worth it. In fact, the only thing that can make a difficult client more bearable is money. In this case, how could there be any money to be had? Suleman's previous flack, Joann Killeen, claimed that she was doing the job gratis, and bailed when she received death threats. Now maybe I'm the crazy one here, but when I hear that about an available job that pays nothing and comes with death threats, my first thought isn't, "Hey! Job opening! Cool!"

I guess Nadya's not the only one who likes the drama.

We now return to... the neverending story...

Source: Us Magazine

Image: Me and Photoshop