Strollerderby : work family balance

More Power for Women in the Household: Feminist Progress or Yet a Third Shift?

Shannon LC Cate — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 16:46:00 GMT

Though it purports to be about remote controls and television habits, this article in the Washington Post on a recent Pew poll of control in families is really about the work women are doing for their families, many of whom are already working all day away from their families.

Now, in addition to a paid job, housework and manager of the children's lives, women are gaining power in the four areas of finances, weekend activities, big-ticket purchases and television. (The television category is misleading, however, given that most people have multiple televisions and are retiring to separate rooms to watch them rather than squabbling over a family set.)

Finances? Read: balancing checkbooks, researching mortgage refinancing, budgeting for school supplies, winter coats and shoes. Weekend activities? You mean soccer games, dance recitals and religious observances? Big-ticket purchases? Oh, washer/driers, refrigerators and dishwashers?

Sounds like the usual round of women's work to me.

It strikes me as odd that the pollers are acting as if women being responsible for these things is some kind of fabulous feminist progress, because it wasn't like this half a century (and more) ago. Says Andrew Cherlin of Johns Hopkins University, "It's not the same as the 50's and '60's, where 'father knew best'."

Can I get a "duh?"

In this world, women doing more work is not really news. That work--or "control"--as the article calls it getting compensated in the same way men's work is compensated would be real news and real progress.

TV- and Parent-Free Activities For Kids. Help!

Madeline Holler — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 00:05:00 GMT

I promise myself every year (every month? every day? every hour?) that I'm going to buck up and quit relying TV to numb the kids' minds and keep them away from me in half-hour increments. But it's hard, so hard. Because sometimes, a mom just wants to sit and email!

So I was excited about Parents magazine's 25 TV-Free Activities, which I figured would freshen up some of the options (go outside! draw a picture!).

Problem is, these 25 activities all include me! Argh! They suggest a tickle party (sob!), having friends over (the work!), have a dance party (the noise!), fix the sink (who's got time?), family letter writing party (but I want to email!), museums, the library, doing something for someone else (but what about me!). Actually, we do these things kind of. What we don't do is sit quietly on the couch with our hands folded, while Mommy surfs the web.

I think Parents has missed the point of TV for parents: it's the replacement parent, not the supplement parent, at least in our house. I use it to numb their minds, quiet thier mouths, kill the dead time between afterschool and dinner when I really, really, really want to get something done. So 25 TV-free activities need to be parent-free too.

Hey, I'm not looking for handouts here, just a little peace and quiet. So help me out with this, readers. What are your favorite TV(and parent-)-free activities. And hiring a babysitter doesn't count.

Photo: Telegraph.co.uk

Work Family Balance is Crap

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:58:00 GMT

Work-family balance often seems like the domain of the ~~crack-addict~~ super cheerful tailored clothing parents. You know the ones. Well-groomed. Peaceful. Soft-voiced and centered. Attendees of weekend tantra workshops and instigators of afternoon craft projects with children that actually turn out. Where I come from, work-family balance is more like "you work, I'll have a family" and balance doesn't really come into it. Besides, who needs balance (and really what the hell is balance anyway?) when one enjoys the temperamental things in life -- the hurry-scurry of a million little peanut-buttery feet and stepping on very sharp toys at 2AM.

According to Working Dad this is what it's all about anyway...

...and he is one mega-sharp blogdaddio. He rightly points out that "... the work-family balance debate is a dangerous sport. It implies there is some magical formula, a mix of just the right amount of job hours, family time and date nights, that creates a harmonious family."

Like the rest of us with very young children, Working Dad has discovered that chaos is more in play than order or balance. because of this, most parents would be well-advised to surrender idealized notions of work-family balance in favor of something softer and more covered in spaghetti: real life with small kids.