Strollerderby : weird news

Dad Charges Daughter With Grand Theft Auto

Brett Singer — Fri, 22 May 2009 21:00:00 GMT

A girl in Fort Lauderdale, Florida took her dad's car while he was visiting her much younger sibling (19 months old) at the hospital. She's 12. She drove around without the headlights on and hit a police car.

Her dad isn't messing around. He asked police to charge his daughter with grand theft auto. Not the video game -- the crime.

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, this is the second time the girl has stolen her dad's car, according to the AP. On the other hand, it's your daughter. Do you really want her to rot in jail? Is that likely to help?

Something similar happened on 'Gossip Girl' this season. (Yes! I know. You think I'm nuts. Stay with me for a moment.) Lillian Van der Woodsen gives her daughter Serena an expensive bracelet, which is a family heirloom. Then, when Serena does something Lily doesn't like (it's not worth explaining what that was), she calls the police and tells them Serena stole the bracelet. Serena goes to jail. Not exactly the same situation of course, but similar enough. Choosing whether or not to send my kid to jail is a choice I hope I never have to make.

(Side note: what the heck is in the water in Florida? Crazy juice?)

What would you do if your kid were a repeat offender? Turn them over to the police or try something else?

Source: AP via Fox News

Image: SXC

13 Year Old Alfie Definitely Not A Dad

Not Every Kid With a Mother Has a "Mommy"

Baby Asleep On Dad's Head

10 Year Old Burned By Tanning Bed

Colbert to Food Movement Guy: Yes, But Were YOU Breastfed?

Single Mom Sells Ad Space On Her Body on eBay

10 Year Old Burned By Tanning Bed

Brett Singer — Wed, 06 May 2009 15:00:00 GMT

This makes me mad.

ParentDish tells us about a 10-year-old Welsh girl named Kelly Thompson. Kelly spent 16 minutes in a tanning bed and suffered burns over 70% of her body. If she had stayed in the bed for two more minutes, she would have needed skin grafts, according to the Daily Mail. The girl has been told to stay out of the "direct sunlight" for 10 years because her skin is now much more susceptible to skin cancer.

10 years! It's like she became a vampire.

The tanning salon is unmanned, and the tanning beds are coin-operated. Also from the Daily Mail is this quote: Julie Barratt, of the Chartered Institute of Environmental Health, said: "Allowing this industry to self-regulate is not working. Unmanned suntanning salons are a particular problem as they are subject to no controls at all. The only way we can protect young people from this sort of self-inflicted damage is to control the use of sun-tanning facilities by legislation."

Well, maybe. There's something else that will help. Telling kids that tanning is a really bad idea. I know, that won't always work. But that photo is of Kelly and her mother, Sharon Hannaford, who is demanding a ban on unattended tanning. Not to be catty, but where do you think Kelly got the idea that tanning was something she should be doing?

Source: DailyMail via ParentDish

Japanese Potty Training Video

12 Year Old Knocks Em Dead On Britain's Got Talent

UPDATE: Jamie Foxx Apologizes To Miley Cyrus

Does Madonna Spank Her Kids?

Parents Get Eyebrows Waxed For Jonas Brothers Tickets

My Dad, the Zodiac; Woman Claims She Helped As a Child

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 11:02:00 GMT

I've heard of take your daughter to work day, but this is ridiculous ...

A woman has come forward to claim that when she was just 7 years old, her dad took her with him while he committed murders that would be called the work of the Zodiac Killer.

Says Deborah Perez:

“There were strange events with my father,” she said. “I would hear shots and my father would say it was firecrackers. I would see a woman running and then hear shots and he would tell me someone threw firecrackers at her.”

The Zodiac Killer scared the ever living jesus out of the San Francisco Bay Area in the late '60s and '70s -- and any kid growing up in the Bay Area in the '80s will surely remember that one Halloween when a prank Zodiac letter nearly cancelled the whole holiday. The killer was never found, the murders stopped, suspects seemed to materialize out of nowhere.

Now, a group of lawyers and private investigators claim they have unmasked the killer -- and they trotted out Perez as an unwitting accomplice during the spree. When she was as young as 7. In a news conference, Perez said she wrote some of the infamous letters that taunted police and the media during the time, and she even claims to have the eye glasses worn by one of the victims.

uh huh. I'll believe that when I see it. I guess there is an upside to this bizarre story, however. As my colleague Brett said in an email: This makes anything we do as parents seem like nothing.

Agreed.

Thank you Zodiac ... Killers?

Man Jailed For Spraying Urine On Food And Children's Books

Brett Singer — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 22:00:00 GMT

So. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I should never – NEVER – say "I've seen it all before." Cuz d-d-d-daddy you just ain't seen nothing yet.

Londoner Sahnoun Daifallah is an "unemployed chemist", which I believe means "pharmacist" in London language. (They talk funny over there.) He was found guilty of "four counts of contaminating goods."

What does that mean? Oh, you want to know. Don't pretend you don't.

Daifallah, who one assumes is mentally ill and rather upset about something, was walking round with "a mix of his waste in a container of weed killer concealed in a laptop bag," according to the AP. By "waste" they mean the stuff you find in diapers. The liquid kind. And the not-liquid kind as well. But mostly the liquid kind.

Why liquid? Why, the better to spray stuff with, my dears!

First began his rain of terror by, um, marking his territory at The Air Balloon pub, leaving behind a "horrendous smell," according to pub worker Kate Rochead. Before he was through, he hit the frozen french fries at one supermarket (prefers them fresh, one assumes?), the wine section at another, and then a bookstore. For reasons not discussed, he focused mostly on the children's section.

How do you pee on Pooh? That's just wrong.

Daifallah is Algerian and will likely be deported, according to the article. I mean, I'm all for potty humor, but this just isn't funny.

What will tomorrow bring? I don't know but let me say this – I'll try not to be surprised.

Source: AP via StarTribune.com

Image: Amazon

Wolverine Blow Up Toy

Kate Gosselin Dreamt Of A Husband and Children - Did You?

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Baby Bikini and Pregnant Man Top 2008 Weird News List

Brett Singer — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

About.com has posted their list of their list of 2008's Top Weird News Stories. Some are parenting/kid related, and some don't seem all that weird, frankly. Let's take a look:

10. Thomas Beatie, the so-called pregnant man

Yep – I guess that qualifies as Weird News. Personally I always questioned what the health risks were of someone like Beatie giving birth – lots of hormones and other drugs are involved in a sex change operation, right? Might that not do something bizarre to your insides? I mean, Beatie can do whatever he/she likes with his/her body but are there health risks to the children that he/she gives birth to? Also, "pregnant man" isn't quite accurate. But it does make for a good headline.

Another weird item that Wolf mentions which I hadn't heard of was the 3rd grader who got suspended for getting high in school – from sniffing a Sharpie. If sniffing markers to get high is wrong, I don't want to be right! Just kidding. We all know writing implements are a gateway drug.

6. Dumbest Ideas: The Baby Bikini, Condom Measuring Tape, GPS Lingerie

When I first saw the words "baby bikini" I thought maybe we had another Heelarious on our hands. But no, it's just a two-piece baby bathing suit. It doesn't seem all that bad, actually. The high heels for infants were, in my view, much dopier. And I’m guessing the author, Buck Wolf, hasn't seen the Baby Announcement Panties Packed in a Fake Ice Cream Container. The GPS Lingerie was definitely dumb, and if they sell more than 10 of the condoms with measuring tape, I'll be shocked. But the Baby Bikini didn't really register that high on the weird scale for me. Maybe I'm jaded.

What do you think? Baby bikini – weird or not?

Image/Source: About.com

They Say -- Kids Who Skip Breakfast and Hate Mom Have Sex Sooner

Announce Your New Addition With Panties: Male Perspective

Nature Lovers Also Annoyed About Children's Dictionary

A Girl's Take: Announce Your New Edition With Panties

Hitting the Bottle: We've Got Your Alibi

Disney Bails on Narnia

Stuff You Never Thought You'd Say -- Winter Edition

Nature Lovers Also Annoyed About Children's Dictionary

Brett Singer — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Who knew kiddie dictionaries were so controversial?

First Christians were peeved because the Oxford Junior Dictionary removed words such as "bishop" and "abbey." But they also removed "beaver", "heron" and "magpie."

I could maybe see getting rid of magpie. Other than Heckle and Jeckle, one doesn't encounter too many magpies, and as far as I know, Heck and his homie are not in heavy Saturday morning rotation. But otter? Not that I see them in the wild but otters are at the zoo. They're on Bob the Builder all the time. Plus they're cute.

It's the same problem as before. The publishers took out the nature words in favor of "modern" terms like mp3 player. My feeling on this hasn't changed — it's a dumb move. But it does show that, despite what some in England were saying, that the changes are not an attack on the Christian faith. It's just plain stupid.

Methinks some smart publisher could step in with a better kid-friendly dictionary and take away some of Oxford's business. I know I won't be buying a dictionary that thinks mp3 players are more important than otters.

Source: Canadian Press via Google News

Image: Amazon.com

No Christmas Specials for Some Jewish Kids

Stuff You Never Thought You'd Say -- Winter Edition

Christian Words Removed From Oxford Junior Dictionary

Review: Unstable Fables Goldilocks and the Three Bears Show

Kids Stay In Car While Dad Gets A Lap Dance

Brett Singer — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Being a father is very stressful. You have to find ways to relax and enjoy yourself.

Note to self: this is not a good way to relax.

Keith Dodson of Barberton, Ohio is being charged with two counts of endangering a child after he popped into a local strip club for a lap dance. Problem is, he left his two kids in the car. And if that's not enough for you, the kids are very young – a six year old girl and a two year old boy. He told police that he was only in the mammary mecca (apologies to whoever it was coined that phrase) for "a few minutes", but witnesses said it was more like an hour. One dancer said he was with her for 30 minutes.

Now the kids are staying with relatives (no mother was mentioned in the news reports I read), and Dodson could get a year in jail (six months for each kid). To top it all off, he can't even go back to the club, which is called Francois Lounge. What a dope. Hope the kids will be OK.

You know what's scary? This isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened. In fact, it's happened a lot. (Here's one, here's another.) I mean, OK, men are pigs, we know that, oink oink. But guys – maybe get a sitter next time, 'kay?

Source: Ohio.com

Image: woio.com

Babysitter Made Pornographic Film With 2 Year Old

Explaining Plaxico Burress To A Seven Year Old

Nebraska Butt Bandit Caught

GPS Lingerie Upsets Some, Entices Others

Christian Words Removed From Oxford Junior Dictionary

Brett Singer — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:00:00 GMT

This is a very odd story.

The Telegraph is reporting that Oxford University Press has removed a number of words from their Junior Dictionary. The words were removed "to reflect the fact that Britain is a modern, multicultural, multifaith society," according to the publisher. So "mistletoe", "goblin", and "minnow" are out. "Celebrity", "broadband" and "tolerant" are in.

Many of the words relate to Christianity, such as "bishop" and "abbey." Professor Alan Smithers of Buckingham University (could he have a MORE British name?) is quoted as saying, "We have a certain Christian narrative which has given meaning to us over the last 2,000 years. The word selections are a very interesting reflection of the way childhood is going, moving away from our spiritual background and the natural world and towards the world that information technology creates for us." While I understand Professor Smithers' (that name!) point, it ignores the other words that got axed. "Minnow" isn't specifically Christian as far as I know.

I'm all for multiculturalism. But how is it multicultural to remove words that relate to existing culture? Why not add some? And "celebrity"? I'd be perfectly happy if my kids didn't learn that word until they were old enough to be irritated by it.

Interestingly, the changes were discovered by Lisa Saunders, a Northern Irish mother of four. Apparently she "painstakingly" examined various editions of the Junior Dictionary and noticed that many words had been taken out, mostly since 2003. Ms. Saunders is particularly upset about the Christian word deletions. "The Christian faith still has a strong following...To eradicate so many words associated with the Christianity will have a big effect on the numerous primary schools who use it." Hopefully even schools that aren't as concerned about Christianity as she is will consider a different dictionary. Plenty of time for kids to learn the word "mp3 player" on their own.

Regardless of whether or not you feel this is an attack on the Christian faith, I think this may be a book to avoid. (It's meant for children 7 and up.) The Junior Dictionary from the storied publisher (keep in mind that this is Oxford University Press, not Johnny Bluejeans Books N' Crap) still contains 10,000 words. But the words they took out and added seem like really dumb choices.

Source: telegraph
Image: Amazon.com

Joe Biden Is Our First Catholic Vice President

Babble's Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide

Cheetah Girls Banned From Macys Thanksgiving Parade

Suri Cruise: Most Powerful Child On The Planet

A Quiverfull Of Kids

White House Sends Chanukah Card With Christmas Tree On It

Mini Baby Sculptures Not Edible, Selling Like Hotcakes

Teacher Has Affair With Student, Parents Say Keep The Door Open

Brett Singer — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 17:00:00 GMT

OK, I really really really need to never say, "I'm beyond being surprised" EVER AGAIN.

From our big blog sibling Scanner (at Nerve.com), comes this little item.

Anna Louise Thompson, 28, was a "maths" teacher in Brisbane Australia (They says "maths" in Australia, I guess). For three years she had a sexual relationship with one of her female students, beginning when the student was 14. When the student fell in love with a fella, she turned her former lover in and Thompson was fired.

Apparently this was quite the affair to remember. It began "when Thompson proposed the 14-year-old girl go to lunch with her. It soon escalated into sleepovers and racy text messages... while Thompson continued to be married to her husband." Eventually they experimented with various sex toys and other things that sound like these two had a more interesting sex life than I ever will.

Here's the kicker:

But the couple were found out when the parents discovered them having sex one evening. Their reaction was simply to request that their daughter keep her door open when she had visitors. (bild.de)

Um, hi. If I come home and discover that one of my kids is having "relations" with someone their own age (forget about an adult), we're going to have a little chat. I definitely don't want them to do it in my house WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE I'M THERE. And did the parents not notice that Ms. Thompson was just a teeny bit older than their daughter? And that's giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming that they were unaware that Thompson was their daughter's "maths" teacher.

The remarkable thing about all of these sex scandals is how often they seem to occur. When you were in school, did you know anyone who was getting a little, shall we say, extra credit? Just based on the odds, I'd say somebody must know of a situation like this.

(Thanks to Brian Fairbanks at Scanner for the tip.)

Source: Scanner

Image/Original story: bild.de

Is Barack Obama Anti-Video Games?

Woman Swings Crowbar At Trick Or Treaters

Mississippi Students, Postal Worker, Punished For Wearing Obama Shirts

Guy Changes Name to Captain Fantastic

Brett Singer — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:30:00 GMT

The Telegraph is reporting that a "teenager" named George Garratt has changed his name to – wait for it – Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. I think "The Flash Combined" is a Jewish name that means, "Please don't hire me for this job."

I'm putting "teenager" in quotes because the guy is nineteen. When did we decide that it was still OK to call nineteen year olds "teenagers"? Is it based on how immature they are?

Anyway, The Nitwit Formerly Known As George Garratt changed his moniker because he, "wanted to be unique." The thing is, Elton John already used the name Captain Fantastic, something the Telegraph article oddly doesn't mention.

The Captain's grandmother isn't speaking to him anymore, which seems a little shortsighted. If there's one thing this kid needs, it's a good talking to.

What would you do if your child came home and said they had changed their name to something dopey like this? Or this?

Source: Telegraph

Video of baby panda playing

Another non news photo

Unusual toddler gifts

The Singer Family says these people can't call themselves Singers anymore

Mom blackmails daughters ex with nude photos

Babble Podcast for November 3, 2008

Disney movie to feature black princess

Woman leaves toddler in car while she goes to a bar

Is The Incredible Flying Baby Video Real?

Sarah Palin Gets Pranked By Canadian Radio Hosts – Video

The Candy That Time Forgot

A photo that has nothing to do with the news

Mom and son barbecue grandma's remains

Brett Singer — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 19:30:00 GMT

A 50-year-old woman and her 30-year-old son in Corning, California have been accused of barbecuing the remains of Ramona Allmond, their 84 year old mother/grandmother. The creepy, kooky and altogether ooky pair also allegedly cashed her social security and retirement checks after she died. More specifically, after they CREMATED HER ON A BARBECUE.

Although the cause of Ramona Yolanda Allmond's death may never be known, her daughter and grandson allegedly allowed her body to lie on the bedroom floor for a week until moving it to a concrete culvert behind their residence, Hosler said.
The culvert had been used by the family as a makeshift barbecue, he said, noting that the family had used it to cook their Thanksgiving turkey several weeks before Allmond's death.
It's not known if they used it after the alleged cremation.

EWWW!!!!

But, as game show hosts used to say, that's not all. The mother, Kathleen Allmond, "made a necklace with a portion of her mother's skull, which she wore around her neck…[and] posted a photograph of herself wearing the necklace on her MySpace page."

In the understatement of the century, the Captain Paul Hosler of the Tehama County Sherriff's Department said, "It gets really weird when you have a piece of mom's skull hanging around your neck." Yes, Captain. Yes it does.

I have to point out that at least the son, Tony Ray, looks the part. Maybe his defense strategy could be, "Dude! I was just trying to get Rob Zombie to put me in his band…" I also think that the markings on his forehead make him look like a Klingon. (I'm assuming they are markings or a tatto, but I suppose it's possible that he really is a Klingon. Unlikely, but possible.)

This wins my award for yuckiest story of the year. Maybe the decade. Well, there's still time left. But if the vote were held today…

Image/source: Redding.com

Bill Murray asks about the Cubs

Unusual toddler gifts

The Singer Family says these people can't call themselves Singers anymore

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Mom blackmails daughters ex with nude photos

Boy Grows a Second Skeleton

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They Say: no cold medicine for kids 4 and under

“Bee Boy” Born With Bee Heart

Cole Gamble — Thu, 01 May 2008 16:04:00 GMT

When new parents are awaiting their first child, they get very concerned about numbers. All they want is a child with five fingers on each hand, five toes on each foot and five chambers in their heart.

Oh, wait a sec.

Russian baby Vanya Maryin was born with a five chambered heart, a structure only found in bees. Oddly enough little Vanya comes from a family of bee-keepers.

Of course, such a condition is not a desirable one. Being perpetually doubled over was the only way Vanya’s heart could pump oxygen to the rest of his body.

Fortunately, a six hour heart surgery was able to transform Vanda’s bee heart into a four-chamber and little Mr. Maryin into a normal boy.

What is it with Russia and its animal boys? Like the boy raised by birds.

Oh, and if you were thinking this post was about a “B” boy, as in a kid into break dancing, well only time will tell if Vanya Maryin grows up to Bust A Move.

Photo: www.simpsonstrivia.com

Grass Grows on Baby's Lung!

Karen Murphy — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 17:49:00 GMT

I admit, I'm a bit of a sucker for bizarre news. C'mon, admit it: your eye was caught by the headline, wasn't it? I mean, isn't it a bit of a WTF moment?

But in addition, it's a bit of a cautionary tale, as well. After all, if one 10-month old baby can somehow inhale a grass seed that then takes root on her lung and causes breathing difficulties necessitating surgery, it could happen again, right?

Grass seed is some weird stuff, and it'll grow anywhere. In my second apartment (not the first in which I broke the lease twice, by having an illegal cat and then by moving out suddenly and leaving my security deposit as rent, which was ironic considering it preceded what was to become a 10-year career in property management), I was astounded a couple of weeks after moving in when grass started growing in a corner of the bedroom. After some serious freaking out followed by investigation, I found out that the lady who had lived in the apartment before me had a bird in that corner. Bird seed = grass seed, apparently. Wet carpet from having it cleaned = rain to water the lovely carpet of grass. Once I mowed it, everything was fine.

But back to the baby. Though no one seems to know how she inhaled a grass seed, I'm thinking that there's something to the beans-in-the-nose theory. And some kids are just prone to having weird accidents.