Strollerderby : urban living

Best Place to Raise Kids Depends on What Kind of Kids You Want to Raise

LilySea — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 16:49:00 GMT

In June, an article in Forbes.com offered a top-ten list of the best places to raise kids. The article goes on about the process of selection, but in the end, it seems to add up to “uniformly white and middle-class” when you look closely at both the criteria and the final list. The article even suggests that proximity to shopping malls is a plus, because hanging out in them is important to teenagers' social development.

People in my former town used to say “but it's a great place to raise children!” after gripe sessions about the lack of diversity, over-abundance of fundamentalist churches or minimal opportunities for adventure. But I never agreed. I knew I wanted to raise my children in a city, and the “great place to raise kids” line always seemed to imply, “unlike a city where we adults might find many other things to enjoy but our children would suffer.”

It all depends on what parents want for their children.

Shopping malls aren't on the short list of what I want for my kids. What I do want is for them to feel that art, music and literature are theirs to make and own, not the special purview of a few special people. I want them to speak more languages than English and feel confident as global citizens. I want them to be just two more faces in a sea of friends without a dominant race or other social type. I want them to know that they aren't the only kids in the world with two parents of the same gender; or with parents of a different race than theirs; or who came into their families through adoption. I want Black adults in their lives to give them comfort in their own skin. I want somewhere interesting to go when there are 16 inches of snow on the playground and the wind-chill is negative five.

After their first two weeks in the city, my children have helped a professional artist with a piece for an upcoming show. They have met a dozen kids at the playground behind the loft where we're living and no two are in the same demographic. They have a French-speaking baby sitter and many Spanish-speaking friends and neighbors. They have a membership to the aquarium and have been there three times. There are two playgrounds within easy walking distance and an independent book store with a fabulous children's section and a weekly story hour across the street. True, the cost of living here is higher, but almost everything on that list is free.

When I opened the front door of the art gallery we are living above to a breathless young man introducing himself as “the drunken [expletive] that stole your bench last night” I was struck by how perfectly the event contained both the upside and the downside to living in an urban neighborhood. It seems the young man had a few too many and woke up with a new bench in his apartment. He recognized it as the bench the gallery owner keeps outside to accommodate the community of artists, art fans, neighborhood friends and homeless locals who gravitate towards her place.

I know that for some parents, the potential hazards of drunken revelers on the front steps is not worth the benefits of city life, but for my family, the limitless opportunities for reaching across difference and making friends out of those who might seem threatening at first glance, is more than a fair return for an occasional wandering piece of public furniture.

Pollution is as Bad for Kids as Secondhand Smoke

Karen Murphy — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 17:34:00 GMT

Let's talk about ways to lower kids' IQs: one thing that works pretty well is smoking in utero, and another is exposing them to lead. And still another is simply living in a high traffic-pollution area. Ouch.

Sad-but-true: kids living in high-traffic areas rife with pollution were measured IQ-wise, and the resultant IQ drops were consistent with those found in kids exposed to secondhand or in utero smoking or lead exposure.

Sadder-but-true: kids living in high-traffic-pollution areas likely have little choice about it. Urban living, even when it's a firm lifestyle choice, has its tradeoffs. I think I might choose the myriad cultural opportunities offered in most cities over an average 3-point IQ drop, or at least I'd not be so dissuaded from urban living with so little an actual effect, but I'm not sure how clear or well-defined the research has been in this. They do know that memory and cognition are also affected.

Still, I don't like the idea of high-traffic pollution anyway. Surely the effects are greater than we're presently aware, and isn't that enough reason to cut down on emissions?

Oh, and the worst-offending high-pollution cities have populations that can less afford ill effects in kids. Here's a late-2006 list of the world's worst:

Dzherzhinsk, Russia
Norilsk, Russia
Rudnaya Pristan, Russia
Linfen, China
Haina, Dominican Republic
Ranipet, India
Mayluu-Suu, Kyrgyzstan
La Oroya, Peru
Chernobyl, Ukraine
Kabwe, Zambia

*Cough*

Photo: www.pedestrians.org

Strollerderby Playdate: Mired in Misery? Not So Much.

Amy Kuras — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:33:00 GMT

Misery index? I'll give you a misery index!

Karen wrote this week about the fact that Forbes Magazine recently released a list of the most miserable cities in America, and guess what? I'm living in the worst one! Whee!

Admittedly, right about now it’s hard to disagree. We're embroiled in a huge political scandal, my neighborhood streets are so icy I can hardly negotiate them, and there are for sale signs just everywhere, including on the homes of some of my favorite neighbors. Boo.

But there is so much reason to be optimistic, including that some of the best parent bloggers out there live in my very own city. Melissa from Suburban Bliss is one of the leading motherhood bloggers, to the point that she vacations with Dooce and has taken on Meredith Viera and everything. And she's smart, funny, insightful and generous with her success; she's been nice enough to link to me and you should see the spike it gives my blog's traffic numbers. Plus I got to vicariously live through the horrors of the Detroit real estate market with her – and they actually sold the house! Hope is alive!

And then there is Sweet Juniper. Bloggers (alias) Dutch and Wood moved here from San Francisco a little over a year ago, and I love seeing this city I have lived in almost my whole life through their fresh, creative eyes. They are both uncommonly graceful writers, although Dutch makes me feel like the slackest parent ever with the cool things he finds to do with their daughter.

And there are some excellent non-parenting bloggers as well – check out Detroitblog for an interesting perspective on life in this city and Model D for development news and neighborhood profiles that counteract all the gloom.

That'll show you, Forbes Magazine.

Babble Talk: Interview With Mary-Louise Parker

Karen Murphy — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 20:34:00 GMT

I admit, I've always had a bit of a thing for Mary-Louise Parker ever since I saw her in Fried Green Tomatoes. Mary-Louise seemed quirky and eccentric yet strong, just the sort of person I'd be if I was shorter and a brunette. And famous. (And buff! Have you seen her lately? She does "over-40" proud.) And Ada Calhoun's recent interview with Mary-Louise does not disappoint; in fact, the actress seems to be living an idyllic life with her three-year-old son, playing the urban mom while introducing him to the joys of art through frequent museum trips and walks through the park while at the same time trying to provide him with balance and down-time. In short, Mary-Louise Parker seems to be doing what we all aspire to: enjoying our children, teaching them about the things we feel are important in life, while at the same time remaining true to ourselves.

Toy Rooms: Suburban Myth?

MetroDad — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 12:37:00 GMT

One of my best friends, James, has the uniquely distinct ability to separate the chaff from his life and focus on the truly important things in life. His general philosophy revolves around the fact that, as America has become a more affluent and suburban nation, people have lost perspective and tend to spend a lot of time bitching about their "high-class problems."

Needless to say, James' words were at the forefront of my mind when I read this article telling me why I absolutely needed to have a "toy room."

First of all, I didn't even know what the fuck a "toy room" was until I read this article. Apparently, a toy room is "a special place where children can escape and get lost in their own imagination...because every child needs a special, magical place." It's a separate private room in the house where a child can keep all his toys so that the entire house doesn't become overrun with them.

Bwahahaha!

I laugh because the first thing any of my single or childless friends says when they come over to our apartment is, "Holy shit, dude! What the fuck happened to your apartment?" Needless to say, our entire apartment is a "toy room." I'm constantly stepping on crayons, wiping play-dough off my clothes, or spiking my foot with Legos.

Yes, it's true. I live in Manhattan, a city where 750 square feet of apartment can run well over a million dollars. However, I have friends who live in the suburbs whom I think would also find the concept of a "toy room" equally laughable. For most of us, having a "toy room" is like one of those legendary parenting myths...like affordable daycare or safe public schools.

I don't know. Maybe I've just been living in the concrete jungle too long. Do you people actually have "toy rooms" for your kids?