Strollerderby : the view

Elizabeth Hasselbeck Thinks Everything (Including Aerial Wolf Killing) is About Abortions (PLUS VIDEO)

Cole Gamble — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 17:30:00 GMT

If you’re ever invited to a dinner party with Elizabeth Hasselbeck, I’d avoid the topic of aerial wolf hunting or any topic really, because Mrs. Hasselbeck seems to think everything comes back to abortions. And I hate making polite abortion talk at dinner parties.

Recently Ashley Judd appeared in a PSA denouncing the practice of aerial wolf hunting, brought into the public spotlight by vice presidential nominee and nature-raping advocate Sarah Palin. Most would agree that aerial hunting is a completely unsportsman-like practice in the already brutal hobby of hunting. Elizabeth Hasselbeck thinks Ashley needs to get off her high horse; after all, 260,000 abortions are performed each year! (Her number, not mine)

Can you follow the leap in logic? Neither can I. Apparently in Elizabeth's world you cannot speak about any death or atrocity without dragging a woman’s right to choose through the mud.

Whoopi: Today on the view we have Simon Mendlebaum, a holocaust survivor who will share with us his incredible story…

Elizabeth: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Holocaust, Schmolocaust! Why are we talking about that old news when 260,000 ABORTIONS TAKE PLACE EVERY YEAR!

Whoopi: Okay, Elizabeth. You’re right. Maybe we should talk about the hundreds of thousands of innocents killed in our current war in Iraq. That is a terrible and preventable waste of life. Surely on par, if not vastly outweighing these troubling abortions.

Elizabeth: Well, uh. Those deaths are patriotic.

Oh and don’t disagree with her or you’re a socialist! Elizabeth Hasselbeck: Black Hole of Logic and Common Sense.

More by this author:

Musical SpongeBob Rectal Thermometer. Fun for Your Kid’s Butt?

6 Reasons My Toddler is a Total Buttwipe

5 Second-Grade Boys Found with Heroin

Woman In Labor Calls Radio Station To Find Husband

Did Salma Hayek’s Breastfeeding an African Child Mean the End of Man’s Inhumanity to Man?

Should Cookie Magazine Get Killed?

10 (Dumb) Ways to Get Pregnant

Ann Coulter Says Single Moms Are Bad For Society

Brett Singer — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 04:31:00 GMT

Ann Coulter, the woman who once called John Edwards a "faggot" and then defended it by saying that it wasn't a gay slur, has now turned her warped mind to single mothers.

Coulter has been out promoting her new book, "Guilty: Liberal 'Victims' and Their Assault on America." She is a bizarre creature who appears to exist purely to spew venom at the world. It's not clear what possible purpose she has on this planet other than to sell her own books and appear on talk shows, which, in turn, helps her sell her own books. The promotional pattern is the same every time – "make outrageous statement in book, repeat statement on a channel other than Fox News, then go on Fox News and defend the statement." And it works – her latest tome is currently number 21 overall on Amazon.com.

One of her latest "points" is that single motherhood has now become "acceptable," despite the "fact" that it is "a recipe to create criminals, strippers, rapists, murderers." Nice.

Over on The View, Coulter was her usual charming self. She attacked Barbara Walters for the way she read the book aloud, and actually did a very nice job of playing the victim, accusing The View co-hosts of attacking her while she wasn't there. Unfortunately, everyone on The View talks at the same time so it's hard to tell what was being said during most of this clip. But it does mark the first time I can honestly say that I agree with Elisabeth Hasselbeck. (Thanks to Sassy Smith for posting this clip over at Famecrawler.)

As someone who was raised by a single mother, I have nothing but respect for any parent, male or female, who is raising a child alone. I'm married, we're lucky enough to have grandparents who live nearby, and I'm still exhausted. I often ask my mother what the hell she did with me during school vacations and half days. She always says that she "figured something out." In other words, she did what she had to do because she was a mother. That's it. What exactly would Ann Coulter like these single mothers to do? Give their kids up for adoption? Get a mail-order husband?

There are one or two words that I don't like to use. One of them fits really Coulter well. It starts with a "c". And I don't mean "cookie".

Source: Famecrawler

Image: Amazon.com

Video: Ann Coulter Makes Elisabeth Hasselbeck Seem Sane

Linda Ellerbee Says Kids Should Skip School To Watch Inauguration

Parents Criticize Schools for Celebrating Inauguration

New Pro Vaccine Book Author Getting Death Threats

Kid Named Hitler Taken From His Parents By Family Services

Babble Podcast for November 10, 2008

Brett Singer — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 02:00:00 GMT

Here is the third Babble Podcast.

You can either listen right here

or download the MP3 file by clicking here.

On today's episode:

1.   Quick news update
2.   The Week in Blog
3.   Comment of the Week
4.   The Last Word

Notes on this podcast:

Songs parodied:

- Mamma Mia, Abba
- Only The Good Die Young, Billy Joel
- Welcome to the Jungle, Guns N Roses
- Copacabana (At The Copa), Barry Manilow

Posts mentioned:

Do Men Really Have a Pregnancy Fetish?

Morning News: Yes, He Did!

Sarah Palin Gets Pranked By Canadian Radio Hosts – Video

Star Kid: What Did Malia Obama Wear On Election Night?

How to Get Something (Free) for Conception

AirborneMini Tuning: The Ultimate In Pimp-My-Bugaboo Stroller Style

Is Brad Pitt Cheating on Angelina?

Vanity Fair: Kate Winslet Bares It All

Ashlee Simpson Gives Birth?

The View Feud: Who Goes? Joy Behar Or Elisabeth Hasselbeck?

UPDATE AGAIN: Palin Prepper Defends The Gov

Mississippi Students, Postal Worker, Punished For Wearing Obama Shirts

Have you ever told your kids to shut up?

11 names for private boy parts

Unusual toddler gifts

Past Podcasts:

Babble Podcast for November 3, 2008

Babble Podcast for October 27th, 2008

Today, a Good Cry With Sherri Shepherd

Madeline Holler — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:04:00 GMT

We'll go back to making fun of The View's dingbat mom Sherri Shepherd after today. And also screeching at the TV screen over Elisabeth Hasselbeck's wisdoms.

But today, let's see if you can hold back the tears during Sherri's recounting of what Barack Obama's win means to her and her son and no more limitations.

(Though, we're also as incredulous as Barbara that it took her up until late last week to decide on a candidate). Now grab a tissue.

Also, don't forget to take a look at Hasselbeck's gracious acceptance of Obama's win.

Video: You Tube, ABCNews

Campaign Dream Team: Sarah and Liz!

Madeline Holler — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 23:54:00 GMT

Oh, who do we have to thank for this? No, I mean it ... who?

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is packing up her own $150k wardrobe and makeup artistry -- hell, maybe even the kids! -- and she's hitting the campaign trail with Sarah Palin!

Hasselbeck has made no secret of her adoration for the VP pick, including adopting the candidate's own special take on logic and reason and suddenly really being into energy policy and the gravity of overseeing the Alaska National Guard.

John McCain's campaign asked The View co-host on Wednesday whether she'd be willing to introduce Palin at some rallies in Florida. Oh, John, of course she would!

Think she'll get to hold Trig? Will she offer to be Bristol's labor coach? Most of all, will she have the effect McCain is hoping for -- recapturing a portion of the female vote he and his running mate have managed to scare away?

Liz promises to bring in some stories on Monday to the gals. We can't wait! Have you set your DVR yet?

A Primer for Undecideds

Morning News: Palin's Not Just a Snazzy Dresser ... She's a Voracious Reader!

Photo: NYDailyNews.com

Political Nanny: McCain Gets Grilled on 'The View'

Madeline Holler — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 18:25:00 GMT

The women of ABC's The View grilled John McCain in a way we haven't seen before (which, for many, is rather depressing). They did let him redirect the conversations more than once.

For example, Joy had him going on having approved the ad accusing Obama of wanting Kindergartners to take part in comprehensive sex education and suddenly Barbara's talking "lipstick on a pig." But at least some of those questions have been put out there to the Senator himself.

Watch a collection of the videos via Huffington Post (sorry, ABC makes it a painful to link and you have to watch commericals).

Think this made a difference to undecideds? Wish they would have pushed it just a bit more -- the veins in his head were starting to pop -- to get some of that famous temper flaring? Or did he handle this with ease?

Morning News: Sarah P. Soothes Some, Induces Spit-Takes in Others

Morning News: More Sex, Some Drugs, and Rockin' Oil

Morning News: The Daily Grind of Sex and Politics ... and Lipstick on Pigs

Morning News: Fully Caffeinated With a Hint of Sarah Palin

Photo: huffingtonpost

Political Nanny: How Obama's Daughter Handles the Arena

Madeline Holler — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:02:00 GMT

Okay, okay. This clip finally showed up online, and it's the one to watch from yesterday's episode of The View (when, you'll recall, Michelle Obama was guest host).

Ignore the first part where Whoopi launches into an unfortunate discussion of black women with gold teeth. And go grab a snack as they dumb it all down to discuss a Barbara Walter's obsession: whether to wear pantyhose. But there IS a pay-off (sorry, still not a cat fight).

Michelle tells a story about the 10-year-old Obama girl, Malia, and how she handles all this time in the spotlight. Awwww.

Obama Intent on Enslaving the White Race

Video: Redlasso

Political Nanny: No Cat Fight, But Liz Sheds Some Tears

Madeline Holler — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 21:02:00 GMT

Michelle Obama was guest co-host this morning on ABC's The View. It was her first appearance on the show. The other hosts -- well, those who didn't burst into tears (more on that in a sec.) -- we're visibly thrilled to have her on.

So there was fist bumping, and Matthew Broderick interviewing, and Laura Bush-praising. But, for those with a love/hate thing for Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the show was ultimately disappointing. No meltdowns, no cat fights, no pro-Iraq War diatribes, no talk of the Democratic candidate being "not brilliant."

However, ABC News reports behind the scenes that Hasselbeck cried hard between segments:

At one point during the show's commercial break, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the most conservative of the co-hosts, burst into tears while talking about how she was about to leave her new baby alone for the first time since his birth.

Sitting on the couch, Obama noticed Hasselbeck was trying to compose herself and asked Sherri Shepherd if she was okay.

Hasselbeck, who supports the Iraq war and spoke at the 2004 Republican Convention, grilled Barack Obama during his appearance in March over his association with Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

During Wednesday's show, Hasselbeck said it was ridiculous for people to anticipate a "girl fight" between herself and Michelle Obama.

"We must be enemies because we disagree politically?" Hasselbeck asked rhetorically.

On the air, Obama said of Hasselbeck: "This girl is solid, she's got great kids, she's funny."

Hasselbeck Thinks Obama 'Not Brilliant'

Hasselbeck's Boobs are Hard

Cindy Says John McCain Doesn't Have a Temper

Obama Tells GOP: Lay Off My Wife

Political Nanny: Hasselbeck Thinks Obama 'Not Brilliant'

Madeline Holler — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:32:00 GMT

Likewise, Elisabeth, likewise.

The View Hot Topic indeed got heated, this time (or is it everytime?) about how nobody will let Elisabeth finish her sentence. All of it couched in "intelligent" political "discourse," naturally.

In a nutshell: Joy says Obama's brilliant. Liz says she doesn't think so. Whoopi says we don't know anything about the candidates yet. (Really?)

Antics ensue.

Here's Political Nanny's problem with the entire segment: none of the women seems more than superficially informed, each just kind of parroting the talking points of their favorite personality.

On the "where American's get their political news" hierarchy, Political Nanny is hoping The View ranks way, way lower than Comedy Central and, say, the Lincoln, Nebraska Penny Saver.

Photo: ABCnews.com

Elisabeth Hasselbeck's Boobs are Hard

Madeline Holler — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 20:31:00 GMT

The View hostess and resident babymaker Elisabeth Hasselbeck told the audience this week that her boobs were hard. Seems she's experiencing a bit of engorgement due to the weaning of her second child, son Taylor.

Hasselbeck does a hint of fondling early on in a video of the segment ... but it's Whoopi who steals the scene with her lack fo sympathy for formerly nursing mother or frustrated baby. Co-hosts Joy and Sherri are slightly more sympathetic and understanding when Hasselbeck calls it "withdrawal."

Sure wish Barbara had been on the show that morning. Isn't she a huge fan of breastfeeding?

Photo: Gawker.com

Political Nanny: Cindy McCain Says Husband Doesn't Have a Temper

Madeline Holler — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 22:09:00 GMT

Posted by Political Nanny

Cindy McCain played co-host on ABC's The View this morning where she told the ladies -- including a silent and reverend Elisabeth Hasselbeck -- that John McCain doesn't have a temper. And he's never unleashed that non-temper temper on her (so the c-word was a term of endearment ... now we get it.)

Oh, Cindy, come now. Political Nanny has watched your Johnny enough to know that his nickname "McNasty" isn't irony.

She also says the biggest misconception about her is that she doesn't like her role as campaigning spouse. She loves it. Then goes on to say, kind of aw-shucks-y, who could imagine a girl from Phoenix ... growing up ... being in her position.

Lady, you're a beer distributor magnate's daughter. You're rich. On behalf of all able-minded people, Political Nanny would like to say WE could have imagined it. It's actually very imagineable.

Still, it's fun to hear her talk. She hasn't been terribly vocal, like the other spouses. So it's nice to put a voice/speaking style with the face.

Political Nanny will search for the video and post it, and also try to uncover what Whoopi was so anxious to ask. Go here to watch the video.

Hasselbeck says wives need to bring sexy back

Brett Singer — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:15:00 GMT

I take it all back. Everything I said. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is the most amazingly wonderful woman in the history of the world. She is a true intellectual, a raconteur of the highest order, and above all: she knows that men need sex.

Of course, Elisabeth doesn't think this applies to "Tainted Guv" Eliot Spitzer and his wife. Of course not. That's why she mentioned the fact that wives need to keep their hubbies happy in the sack while she and her "View" pals were discussing that particular topic. But in general, her attitude is:

"If your guy needs sex, OK, I may not be in the mood, but we're gonna have sex?"

I mean, that's how it is in my house. Isn't it that way in yours?

Another Reason To Hate Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Brett Singer — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 21:15:00 GMT

I'm going to dive right in here:

First of all, she spells her name with an "s". Who does that? (Probably lots of people, but when she does it, its annoying.) Second, she's a big dope who is only on "The View" because she was a contestant on "Survivor" (although she does seem to know that the world is round, unlike newer "View" moron Sherri Shepherd). Now she's pimping her new baby out to the highest bidder, and encouraging parents to take their underage offspring to the theater:

Week of January 28: FINALLY! A DATE!

With Grace! We hit Broadway running, as Disney's THE LITTLE MERMAID filled our afternoon with magic. I had Grace on my lap for most of it, and for two hours, my otherwise independent little girl was my baby again. Just to have one on one time was the greatest gift.

Where to start?

Let us begin with a question: why is your ~~infant~~ under 4-year old child (thanks to commenter Christina for the correction) at the theater? Imagine paying upwards of $400 ($100/ticket, family of four), not including dinner or transportation, to see a show and have it be disrupted by a petulant rugrat. I'm all for introducing young people to the arts, but (a) a huge Disney production is so commercial that it's only nominally "art" and (b) at that age they won't remember the experience. I don't want to be a "hater," but it's just inconsiderate. UPDATE: In fact, it's the theater's policy that "Children under the age of 4 are not permitted in the theatre."

Next: unless I'm missing something, the wife of the less-talented of the two Hasselbeck brothers (Matt Hasselbeck plays for the Seahawks and went to the Super Bowl a couple of years ago, Tim is a career backup who was dumped by the Giants and is now the third-string guy on the Arizona Cardinals – not a lofty position) seems to be saying that, in order to have "one on one time" with her baby girl, she needs to be in a dark room with a thousand other people. Much like this drawing (don't go there, it's one of those things you can't "un-see"), that's just disturbing.

And another thing: "I had Grace on my lap for most of it." So the rest of the time you checked her with your coat?

By the way, I found Hasseldreck's blog on Strollerderby; Madeline Holler agrees that it is awful, but also somehow draws you in, like a restaurant with terrible food and portions that are too small. FYI, Elisabeth is done posting, but we're fairly certain she'll find some way to annoy us again very soon.

Hasselbeck and Her Super Tuesday Foibles

Madeline Holler — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 23:36:00 GMT

Poor Elisabeth Hasselbeck suffered the worst of all indignities when she went to vote this morning. After her babyweight management morning run, she zipped into her designated polling place, was escorted to her district and asked her name and address. So far, so good.

However, her name was not on the list.

So they handed her a paper ballot. She grabbed it -- clock ticking -- and went to a corner to vote. Behold! It was a Democratic ballot. As if!

She describes the shock (!) the horror (!) of everybody else in the room when she returned to get a Republican ballot. Seems poll workers had to do a bit of scrambling to come up with one.

Elisabeth, it's tough out their for an Upper West Side Republican.

For more campaign musings, check out Political Nanny's election scrapbook -- we have candidate baby pictures!

Strollerderby Playdate: The Awful Blog I Can't Stop Reading

Madeline Holler — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:32:00 GMT

How can it be that I am a regular reader of this blog? I mean, you could hardly call it a blog -- she posts only once or twice a month, it's not terribly interesting, it's surrounded by ads for gentle yet overpriced baby laundry detergent that you don't even need.

And it's her! Her! I don't even like her! I am not interested in her! I do nothing but criticize and disagree with her. I didn't watch her on TV before and, now that she's back, I still don't. I won't! Yet, I read her blog. I check it for updates, feel let down when there are none. I find myself identifying with her truly mundane stories and smiling at -- and I mean this in the rudest ways -- the very unfunny funny things she strains to write. Please, what is wrong with me?

Somehow, I have let Elisabeth Hasselbeck get under my skin and into the heart of my web browser. Bafflingly, I don't consider the three minutes I put in each month checking out her posts -- she doesn't even have links or games or a photo album to look through! -- wasted time. How could I? I love reading it! But shouldn't I hate myself a little more for loving it? Shouldn't I want to soak in a tub of scalding hot water and gentle Dreft soap bubbles?

It's like the playgroup I go to again and again. The membership is dwindling, the only mom who shows up is the one you have nothing in common with. Nothing! But I keep going -- once or twice a month -- to not connect, to not agree, to not enjoy. Why go? Why not.

Best of FameCrawler: Note to Britney: DON'T. Just Don't.

Karen Murphy — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:27:00 GMT

Posted by Karen

Getting married? To this guy? WHY??!

Britney Spears is not heeding lawyer's advice to get a pre-nup as sources claim she wants to marry cling on Sam Lufti (didn't they elope?).

Her lawyers "begged her to at least get a prenup, but she didn't seem to be listening" a source told Star Magazine.

Federline, who did sign a pre-nuptial before marrying Britney, is not happy. Federline is not comfortable having Sam near his kids, due to a bad temper that Federline has seen first hand.

"Kevin has seen Sam lose his temper," says a source. "We hear he swears a lot and makes very derogatory statements when he's alone with Brit."

Sam once dangerously slammed his car into another vehicle to prevent Britney from being served.

"Kevin has forbidden Britney from having Sam around the boys. In fact, Kevin has threatened to get a restraining order. She'll lose custody if she allows Sam around them, Kevin will make sure of it," the source adds.

Britney seems unfazed that this recent development may cost her Sean Preston and Jayden James for good.

"Britney is completely under Sam's spell. Everyone sees through him, except her. I hear that he stays with her most of the time, and she pays for his food, his bar and restaurant tabs and his clothing. She takes car of everything," the source told Star.

If this is true, I'm not surprised she doesn't care about losing the boys. She has yet to prove she wants them in the first place. This whole senario reminds me very much of Anna Nicole Smith -- not that Anna didn't care for her kids but she sure was controlled by men. Weird.

Also on FameCrawler today:

Sherri Shepherd of The View has issues with education. (But we already told you that.)
Nicole Kidman = Ooh! Shiny!
Scary Spice strips in Vancouver

The View's Shepherd Won't Let Her Son Wear a Dress

Madeline Holler — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 23:20:00 GMT

Should I just start watching The View, because I’m telling you, that Sherri Shephard is just the kind of train wreck that makes me slow down and crane my neck to look. I'm holding up traffic on YouTube because I stop so often to stare, dumbfounded, at her daily collisions with the outside world.

This time, Shepherd is unwittingly (witlessly?) sucked in to a discussion on trans-gendered children. Sort of. Sherri says she would not let her son wear a dress, not even for make-believe. Not until he's 18 (the age of fashion majority?). Whatever. We know some people like that, so, granted. Go for it, Sherri.

Incredibly, though, she would also expect a teacher to ask him to remove the dress were he to try one on over in the dress-up corner. Even when there's a play dough fight across the room? Or a light-table glitch? What about butterfly wings? Or the patent leather belt meant for a Madeline costume but which also fits the firefighter's jacket? Should the teacher be discrete, or just call him a sissy and get it over with? (Incidentally, Sherri should never let her son play with my girl, who manages to get every little boy that comes over to drop the trucks and stuff a doll under his shirt yelling, "Mom, I got pregnant!")

The gals on The View, who won't leave this discussion alone, get diverted into a lot of irrelevant talk of Scotland and man skirts and premarital sex in your mom’s house, before finally coming back around to the teacher’s responsibility to make sure children are reminded of gender roles.

For the record, Shepherd would still love her son if he were gay. But dressed appropriately, we assume?

Would you expect a teacher to step in if your son put on a dress (or your daughter a cowboy hat)? Don’t answer that. But feel free to give us your take on Sherri Shepherd's conversations with America.

Related on Babble: Little Boy Pink.

The View Host Sherri Shepherd Doesn't Get the Whole 'B.C.' Thing

Madeline Holler — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 23:01:00 GMT

I realize that over on Political Nanny, I said I wouldn’t be watching The View today (or, ever, really, except when someone like Michelle Obama is scheduled to co-host).

But I didn’t make any promises about clips from YouTube, and thanks to Huffington Post for directing us to this one:

Sherri Shepherd, mother of a boy who I hope is paying extra-close attention in school, treated viewers today with her insight on world history. Namely, that Jesus was here before just about anyone else. Just watch.

Now, what I love is watching Whoopi and Joy try to talk over her, cover her, save her ass on this one. Sherri should recognize this, learn to yield the floor, quit digging herself in deeper with her hopeless explanations, which always come down to what she believes not what she knows. Remember her explanation of how the earth might be flat?

Good for her that she has beliefs, because that would only leave speech recognition and directions home to bounce against the emptiness of her brain. She might want to take her son to the library to get a little more info on this one too.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck's Maternity Leave Brings Second Showers?

Kelly Mills — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 15:32:00 GMT

It is very important that you know this: Elizabeth Hasselbeck is going on maternity leave from The View in early November. Something about toxic fumes... Okay, I don't begrudge her the leave at all even if she is utterly stupid, I think working while pregnant sucks. And those of you who have come to rely on her wise words to carry you through the day will just have to read tea boxes or pamphlets the government dropped out of planes or something for a while to get you through. But of course there is a big dilemma facing the ladies she's leaving behind--since this is kid number two, is a shower in order?

Now, Jessica told me she's heard the second-child shower referred to as a "sprinkle" (gack) but whatever you wanna call it, many folks have very strong opinions as to whether it is appropriate or not. I'm more Ms. Ill-Mannered than in the Judith Martin camp, so I always think a party is fine, even the ever-awkward work shower, just make the gifts optional. But other people believe the expectation that they should have to visit the baby registry for the same person on more than one occasion is gauche. I'm guessing Babs will oppose the idea, Whoopi will be good-naturedly in favor of the second shower, that Sherri thing will bump into walls a bunch, and Rosie will make a special guest appearance and leap out of the cake shaking a rattle. Remember, you heard it here first.

But feel free to weigh in on shower for second and third kids: yea or nay. And whether you think she's about to kill Elmo with her eyes.

Best of Famecrawler: Elisabeth Hasselbeck Makes Pro-Lifers Look Like Total Idiots

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 15:02:00 GMT

Posted by HerBadMother

I don't have anything personal against Elisabeth Hasselbeck, I really don't. I'm not sure what it is, exactly, that she has to offer the world, but I also wondered that about Star Jones, so whatever. So I generally don't pay much attention to the crap that she spews. It's not crap on a level with the fecal spewage that escapes the likes of Ann Coulter, so it's pretty easy to ignore.

But then she had to go and start spouting nonsense - apropos of nothing at all - about the reasons that women get abortions, and as much as I tried to plug my ears and chant LA LA LA LA LA LA to block the grating din of her asshat opinion, I just couldn't STOP. THE. NOISE.

According to Elisabeth Hasselbeck, it should be difficult for women to get abortions. Women, she says, get abortions for superficial reasons. If abortions were harder to come by, then women wouldn't just, you know, kill babies for no good reason.

As Whoopi Goldberg so astutely pointed out in response to Hasselbeck's nonsense, unless girlfriend has been in a position where she's had to contemplate such a decision - because of poverty, because of social sanction, because of sexual assualt, because of lack of support, because of fear, because of any one of the innumerable, painful reasons that pushes women and girls to make such a terrible decision - she can just shut her mouth. It is the very, very rare woman who makes that decision lightly, and it is the very, very rare woman who leaves that decision lightly: most women go into it gripped with sadness, and come out of it the same way, save for whatever measure of relief has been afforded them for being able to escape circumstances that they feared would be far worse. Nobody wants to get an abortion, Hasselcrack. It's not a weekend in Vegas. Oh, hey, I think I'll go get an abortion this weekend - I could use a coupla days of rest, and I didn't want this baby anyway!

It's one thing to be 'against' abortion (which is fine, but isn't everybody 'against' abortion in the sense that we all wish that it didn't have to happen? Nobody is FOR abortion; they're for the right of women to access it if they need it); it's quite another to suggest that women who get abortions are vapid, self-absorbed twits.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a vapid, self-absorbed twit. Whether she's an evil one, or a stupid one, I haven't quite figured out yet. I'll keep you posted.

More celebrity bad behavior today at Famecrawler:

A View From "The View": Earth Might Be Flat

Madeline Holler — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 13:33:00 GMT

I don’t look to ABC’s "The View" for intellectual debate or insight. A good thing too, because they never feature any. (Just Google “O’Donnell Hasselbeck The View” for past examples of hostesses pushing around words and making hand gestures in place of fact or reason.)

The latest example of ignorance parading as a respectful, point-counterpoint, relevant discussion is this clip of their new host Sherri Shepherd confessing, with no signs of shame, that she doesn’t know whether the earth is round or flat.

“I’ve never thought about it, Whoopi” she repeats for clarity. “But what I’ve thought about: how I’m going to feed my child.” On behalf of moms with stocked fridges everywhere, I’d like to state for the record that it is no burden to make a sandwich while also knowing the earth is round.

The flat-earth debate (truly, I never thought I would type those words) was co-host Whoopi Goldberg’s follow-up challenge to Shepherd’s earlier acknowledgment that she doesn’t “believe” in evolution. Whoopi lays out her own merger of round earths and heavenly fathers (“I believe that!” co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck chimes in off-screen) and gives Shepherd a chance to back-pedal. She doesn’t.

The whole damn thing is a two-and-a-half minute, five-person demonstration of the failure of American science education. It’s disheartening that these notions – flat earth, non-“belief” in evolution – have a platform on a mainstream television program.

Joy Behar thinks it’s a load but she won’t say it. Barbara Walters wants us to know her abiding respect of The Bible, not wanting to upset, I suppose, the new co-host after she quickly parrots fundamentalist dogma regarding evolution. The camera lingers a moment on poised, thoughtful, smart, smart Elisabeth Hasselbeck, as she leans forward to consider the “question,” weigh the “dilemma,” really feel the gravity of these “issues.” (Wait, did I say gravity, because that brings up another issue of, well, “science.” Who needs “gravity,” Mr. Newton, the world is flat!)

Is it truly possible that a discussion questioning the earth’s shape and evolution’s validity took place -- between literate adults on a television show with a national audience -- and not a single person stood up, pointed at these people and screamed, heckled or laughed? True, true, it wasn’t funny enough to laugh at. It really wasn’t funny at all.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck to Produce Another Young Republican

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 01 May 2007 18:29:00 GMT

Amidst confetti and courtesy smiles, Elisabeth Hasslbeck, the co-host on The View who sits opposite Rosie O'Donnell on all things political, announced she's expecting a second child. She is mother to two-year old Grace Elisabeth and is reported to have long wanted to add to her family with New York Giants QB hubs Tim Hasselback.

What's creepy/predictable about the announcement is that Barbara Walters seemed most excited that the birth will take place in November, just in time for sweeps. And since the attention-starved ratings-hiker herself Rosie O'Donnell will soon leave the show, I imagine Babs fuhreaking out about who or what will bring in The Viewers.

I personally abandoned the show when the only interesting and non-nerves-grating woman (love you almost as much as Matt and Ann, Meredith) bailed on what seemed on all counts to be a sinking ship. Strangely, people kept tuning in to see Star's abrupt resignation (firing, "contract blunder," whatever"), a revolving door of guest co-hosts to fill her chair, Joy's supposed comic commentary and regular looks of complete disinterest, self-promotion after self-promotion for Barbara's slow-dying specials, O'Donnell's fourth grade rants and, of course, Hasselback's mini-soapboxes as scripted by the conservative Right.

Dang it. Clearly, I know way too much about this show that I really can't even stand to flip past as I make my way over to Martha Stewart cooking up croissants with a bumbly Josh Duhamel. Truth be told, I'll probably even read the write-up in Us Weekly when Hasselbeck is wheeled off in her green gown to give birth to baby #2. Don't worry, though, all this attention giving will be duly countered by a rising sense of self-hatred for semi-celeb gawking addiction.

[photo credit: Heidi Gutman/ABC]

Alec Baldwin to Write Book on Parenting. I'm Serious.

Kelly Mills — Tue, 01 May 2007 11:30:00 GMT

Everyone’s favorite daddy has big plans for the future. During his big damage control push over the voicemail tape (you know, calling his daughter a pig, threatening to get on a plane and straighten her out) Alec Baldwin told Babs, Rosie, and Co. on The View that he wants to write a book on the damage ~~having an asshole for a father~~ divorce does to children, and how dads get the shaft. In related news, Paris Hilton will be penning a book on the virtues of celibacy. Call me crazy, but if I was campaigning for fathers’ rights during divorce, I don’t think I’d want Baldwin to be the official spokesperson.

He went on so long about the book that Madame Walters had to remind him that his first priority should be repairing his relationship with his daughter. When Barbara Walters tries to get you to say the appropriate, sensitive thing, you know you’ve entered a special zone reserved for the insanely boorish.

Baldwin also took the opportunity to lay into his ex-wife, Kim Basinger. He only mentioned his poor child as an opening to spew more hate and to blow hard about his goal to be the next Dr. Spock. Right now some PR person is hurling coffee at their assistant and shopping online for muzzles.

Maybe I’ll buy a copy of the book and put it on the shelf next to the Joan Crawford book on positive discipline.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Puts Rosie Feud Rumors To Rest

Alisyn — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 21:18:00 GMT

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, by far the most annoying member of the hideous View roundtable in my opinion (and that's saying a lot), put to rest rumors of a rift between her and co-star Rosie O'Donnell. Since Ro took over for the sorely missed Meredith Viera, she's been mouthing off left and right, and even when what she says is true, which it often is, she's so obnoxious. Elisabeth takes the bait every time, butting heads with Rosie and standing up for conservatives everywhere in her simpering, captain-of-the-debate-team little voice.

But talking to People magazine this week, Elisabeth admitted that even she was suprised when she and Rosie developed - gasp! - friendly feelings for one another. "I've been to Rosie's house. We went swimming with the kids. We hang out. It's a nice friendship, and it's one that no one would have expected - even us."

Aw. That's kind of nice. Putting aside their differences for the sake of the kids and the show. Good for you, gals! I had a higher opinion of Elisabeth after reading that. Then I read the part of the interview where she talked about "prepping" her body for another pregnancy (daughter Grace is almost 2), which pretty much canceled that higher opinion out. "I just need to get to a place where my body is ready to have another child. I think I'm the only TV person who's trying to put on 10 lbs.! I tend to train really hard."

She went right back to being annoying.

[Via CBB]