Strollerderby : thanksgiving

Mom Gets Hate Mail for Ending Kids Thanksgiving Party

JeanneSager — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 16:08:00 GMT

The mom who put an end to the kindergarten Thanksgiving traditions at two California elementary schools this year has been getting some pretty nasty holiday greetings. Racial epithets, wishes that her daughter (a member of one of the kindergarten classes) would be beat up.

I shared Michelle Raheja's fight and her comments here on the 'Derby right before Thanksgiving, opening up the question to the readers of whether the old standby "Pilgrims and Indians" recreations in kindergartens are really racist or not. A host of opinions came down on either side of the fence, but I'm happy to say not one reader took Raheja's defenseless five-year-old to task.

You can read the original post for the whole story, but basically the professor who spends a portion of her teaching focusing on Native American literature told the school district that the four-decades old event was racist. She likened kids from one school dressing as "Indians" and walking to the other school where kids were dressed as "Pilgrims" to enjoy a meal was like replicating a meeting of the Jews and the Nazis and trying to put a happy face on it.

It's an emotional issue, to be sure, and one that gave me conflicting feelings (thus my original headline, Are Elementary School Thanksgivings Racist Or Just Outdated?). There are members of my own family who are Native American, who live on reservations, who are feeling today's affects of yesterday's injustices visited upon their culture as a whole. We can't brush the more sordid bits of American history under the rug. On the other hand, these are five year olds learning about multi-culturalism. You do have to simplify things a bit. And dressing up to break bread doesn't have to be entirely devoid of teachable moments regarding Native American history.

Either way, I thought I wanted to hear other opinions as I tried to make my own. But even in thinking there might be some merit to these sorts of traditions - even if they are updated to be more racially appropriate - I'm with the readers. I didn't think Michelle Raheja deserved to be have her daugher threatened, to be maligned for her own Native American heritage.

Have we really gone so far that we vent our frustrations on other parents by bashing their kids? I'm not defending the racial comments, but at least they were attacks on an adult. To focus your most hateful thoughts on a child is disturbing, but to do so because you hate their parents' decisions simply makes no sense.

My daughter is only three at this point, so I am only beginning to navigate the world of "other parents." I've tried my best to separate kids in my daughter's nursery school from what I might think of their parents. But is this kind of attitude what I have to look forward to?

Image: Los Angeles Times

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Urlacher Paints Son's Toenails: So What?

JeanneSager — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 15:02:00 GMT

If he weren't in one of the manliest professions on the planet (professional football player? come on testosterone), I'd still laugh at the claims against Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher. His ex-girlfriend says their son comes home from Dad's house with nail polish on his toes and Cinderella Pull-Ups 'round his waist. I say, who cares?

Urlacher says he took his baby mama to court for violating a January court order that was supposed to guarantee he'd have their son, Kennedy, every Monday afternoon through Tuesday evening. Then her name started showing up in newspapers, claiming the football player's been painting Kennedy's toenails with blue polish and sending him home wearing princess Pull-Ups. Urlacher says its true - the boy's sisters paint his toes, and what kind of Pull-Up ends up on the boy - or his three-year-old sister - is simply the one he grabs from the pile.

I'm sure Urlacher's fame plays a role in all of this. As one of those non-football watching Americans (sorry guys, I did my shuffle to the couch after Thanksgiving dinner and settled in for a chick flick), I don't know much about the guy, how he plays or what he's done. But this is sounding more and more like a "nothing" case with each story I read. There are no reports (that I've read anyway) saying he hits his child, denies him food or clothing. As for shelter, the guy is actually taking Tyna Robertson to court so he can spend MORE time with the boy under his roof.

Could these really be the kinds of accusations used to prove someone's an unfit parent?

I'd hardly call this gender bending. My three-year-old daughter prefers the "boy" dress up box we picked out to the "girl" box. She immediately donned the cowboy vest and hat along with a Batman face mask and pirate sword and pronounced herself Super Larry (your guess is as good as mine). Most parents would congratulate us for opting to give her the choice instead of presenting the typical box of pink tutus and shipping the pirate garb to a cousin's son. Shouldn't it work both ways?

Image: Joliet Herald News

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Some Obama Thanksgiving Awwwwww

Madeline Holler — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 20:03:00 GMT

If you missed the Obamas' interview with Barbara Walters last night, the clips are worth it. The president-elect and his wife talk about their Thanksgiving plans (Michelle's taking a pass on cooking this year and, yes, Michelle, that's quite OK!). In this clip, the president-elect once again channels what so many of us Americans are thinking and feeling: Barbara Walters is totally ridiculous.

In this instance, she's putting the hard sell on for the Obamas to get a dog just like her pup Cha Cha. Barack wisely asks/asserts that Cha Cha is a girly dog (and yappy). Walters is putting the hard sell on for the Obamas to get a dog just like her pup Cha Cha. Barack wisely asks/asserts that Cha Cha is a girly dog (and yappy).

We also get to hear how Michelle has reconciled leaving her job to support her husband.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Video: HuffPo, YouTube

Blogging Moms Find a Kidney For Teen on Dialysis

JeanneSager — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 17:02:00 GMT

If you've ever doubted the power of the Internet, just imagine the motivation of helping a kid in need thrown in. This is one of those happy holiday stories to make up for all the bad stuff we ended up writing about here on the 'Derby, but I warn you. Get out the tissues.

"Domestic Diva" mom blogger Lisa posted in early November that she could barely keep posting as she watched her teen daughter, Marielle, suffer through her kidneys shutting down. The family was making a drastic move. They were pulling Marielle out of a Philadelphia hospital and heading to New York's Columbia Presbyterian in hopes that the living kidney donor program there could save her life.

Two weeks to the day later, yesterday, Lisa was back online. Blogging mothers across the country had picked up her story and blogged about it, tweeted it on Twitter and shared it on Facebook. Calls poured into Columbia Presbyterian from every state in the U.S., from Africa, from Saudi Arabia. Marielle now has a donor. A friend her mom met through Ebay called the hospital, went through the process and has come up as a match. The teenager is home, still on dialysis, but home for the holiday as doctors work to bring her body to a state of health that will enable them to proceed with surgery.

Yesterday, the day before Thanksgiving, the family released this announcement to the world:

"Thank you to EVERYONE who sent in donor forms, called, blogged, twittered and help spread the word…BUT WE DO NOT NEED ANY ADDITIONAL DONORS AT THIS TIME. I am amazed by the power of the web and the hearts of those who helped make a difference."

Now wipe your tears and get back to that turkey.

Image: Domestic Diva

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History Channel Debunks Thanksgiving Myths

Brett Singer — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 15:00:00 GMT

You know all that stuff you thought you knew about Thanksgiving? Silly person. You're wrong.

The History Channel's "Thanksgiving minisite" (translation: a page on history.com) has tons of Turkey Day content but the part that seemed best to share with your kids is the Mayflower Myths page. For example: you thought that the pilgrims wore exclusively black and white clothes with buckles all over them? Survey says: WRONG. According to History.com, "Buckles did not come into fashion until later in the seventeenth century and black and white were commonly worn only on Sunday and formal occasions." So there.

Also check out the Fun Facts section, which tells us that the cranberry is "one of only three fruits…that are entirely native to North American soil," and that one fifth of the nation's turkey consumption happens on Thanksgiving. (The latter fact comes from The National Turkey Federation. I thought that was another name for Congress. Ba-dum-bum.)

Check out the site for a few tidbits to share with the kidlets in between eating giblets.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Source: History.com

Image: wswstudios.com

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Five Foods Your Kids May Toss Under the Table During Thanksgiving Dinner

Jen Chaney — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 13:02:00 GMT

Ah, Turkey Day. An excuse to loosen the belt and indulge in full-on gluttony. Sure, the holiday is a celebration of family. But it's also a celebration of food and all its pleasures.

Unless ... you're a kid. And a finicky eater. And some of the dishes prepared by dear old Mom kind of, um ... how to say this nicely? ... taste like warmed-over dirt piles on a nasty paper plate.

As wonderful as most Thanksgiving meals are, there are certain offerings that tend to be less savory to the younger set. These are the five most likely to be clandestinely fed to the dog, tossed under the table or slyly slid underneath a napkin come dinner time today:

5. Turkey: Weren't expecting that, were you? Turkey may be the centerpiece of the Thanksgiving meal, but it's often the least tasty part, especially if it's too dry or wasn't roasted just right. And finicky kid-eater have no patience for non-moist poultry.

4. Any "Unconventional" Dish: You know the aunt who always brings over some weird Asian salad or Middle Easten couscous just to "mix it up a little"? Yeah, no one wants that crap on Thanksgiving. The kids don't either. And they're not going to eat it.

3. Fruit Salad: If it's got pineapples, bananas, sliced Granny Smith apples and/or any sort of congealed marshmallow substance that acts as an adhesive, it won't win any points at the kids' table. Caveat: If you add mandarin oranges to the mix, you raise the potential for acceptance by at least a couple of notches.

2. Cranberry Sauce: This only applies if the sauce you serve comes out of a can. Now, I don't fault people who go the can route. We all have to cut corners somewhere. But for much of my young life, I didn't know there was such a thing as non-canned cranberry sauce. And I never tasted it because the mere sight of it creeped me out. Your sons and daughters may be like me. For your sake, I hope not.

1. Green Bean Casserole: I love me some green bean casserole. But I also fully acknowledge that, through a kid's eyes, this stuff totally looks like boogers mixed with throw-up and topped with French onions. Until their taste buds mature, expect your little loved ones to come up with all sorts of creative excuses (mushroom soup allergies, moral objections to casseroles) to avoid eating the stuff.

Image: Squidoo.com

Cornstarch Hand Turkey A Step Up From Paper

Brett Singer — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 02:39:00 GMT

We've all made the Hand Turkey – trace your digits onto construction paper, cut it out, and voila, instant Turkey Day decoration.

If you want to go into the Hand Turkey Big Leagues, you can make a "handprint turkey keepsakes" using this cornstarch dough recipe from SusieJ.com.

As near as I can tell, it's not unlike making an inedible cookie. Lasts longer than paper, and has more heft. A word of warning: if the political arguments get too heated, keep these puppies out of sight until everyone is safely in a food coma.

Source: SusieJ.com

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Are Elementary School Thanksgivings Racist Or Just Outdated?

JeanneSager — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:35:00 GMT

Every November when I was a kid, we spent at least one day cutting out brightly colored "feathers" to afix to a band of brown construction paper and stick on our heads, another snipping white, yellow and black squares to form the "buckles" for our faux hats. But an increasing number of elementary schools are saying goodbye to the Thanksgiving play in favor of political correctness.

In Claremont, Calif., parents were fighting this week over a tradition that dates back to the days when little boys still played "war" and "cowboys and Indians" in their backyards and no one gave a second thought. Leading the charge is Michelle Raheja, whose mother hails from the Seneca tribe. The mother of a kindergartner and professor of Native American literature, Raheja called for an end this year to a four-decade long practice of five-year-olds dressing as Native Americans and walking to a nearby school to join another set of five-year-olds (dressed as Pilgrims, naturally) for a meal. Rajeha likened the practice to dressing children as slaves and slaveowners or Jews and Nazis.

On the other side? Parents like Kathleen Lucas, who is proud of her Choctow heritage, and prouder still that her son still wears the construction paper garb crafted last year in kindergarten when it was his school's turn to play the role of the Native Americans at the feast. She and other parents have complained that the school's decision to put the kibosh on costumes means they're bending too far for political correctness. Some parents have even accused Raheja, who called on several other professors to speak with her on the issue in front of the school board, of using her five year old to further her own political agenda.

I'll go out on a limb and guess the Native Americans didn't sport brown paper vests at the first Thanksgiving, but I will admit to seeing some merit to having the kids dress up as two distinct groups then bringing them together for the Thanksgiving lesson. It's a chance to learn about accepting each other's differences - especially in schools that lack diversity. Setting that aside, however, we need to stop glossing over the nasty bits of America's history regarding treatment of Native Americans. It may not be the lesson plan for Thanksgiving Day - it is, after all, a day for positive thinking. But where German children should spend a portion of their education on the Holocaust to understand their nation's past, we need to ensure our children learn about the Trail of Tears and the countless other atrocities we subjected fellow human beings to in the name of enlightenment and spreading the American ideals (hmmm, sound familiar, Iraq?).

Should part of that education include setting aside the paper head dresses too?

Image: Los Angeles Times (Kathleen Lucas' son in his construction paper outfit with a "Pilgrim" friend)

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How Much Would You Pay for an Organic Thanksgiving?

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 22:30:00 GMT

Nothing puts the price differential between organic and non-organic eating into perspective like a Thanksgiving Day meal. Paying $2 more for organic blueberries or $1 more for organic milk may seem like an easy decision, but what about spending almost $80 more for one meal's worth of Turkey?

As the New York Times reports, smartmoney.com has done some investigative reporting on the real costs of an organic Thanksgiving Day meal. Shopping organic as thriftily as possible at Whole Foods, Associated Supermarket, and the Food Emporium, the financial advice Web site found that an organic traditional Thanksgiving Day meal cost $126.35 more than a non-organic meal. According to Smartmoney, this constitutes a rip-off.

126 bucks is certainly a prohibitively hefty price tag for many families, but let's keep in mind that there are thriftier ways to buy organic than shopping at Whole Foods in Manhattan. For instance, I shop at a co-op and I would bet that buying an organic meal there might even be cheaper than a non-organic one bought in traditional supermarkets. And if you can afford to pay a little more for farming methods that are easier on the environment, by all means do. Isn't that what Thanksgiving is all about?

Photo: New York Times

Thanksgiving BINGO or Mocking Your Crazy Aunts

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 20:58:00 GMT

Like a lot of people, I really love Thanksgiving -- I just don't like the family that comes with it. Thankfully writer Meredith O'Brien has come up with a hilarious way to make it through the five-hour foodstravaganza without resorting to violence.

Dysfunctional Family Bingo.

Here's an excerpt:

"It's Thanksgiving morning and you forgot to defrost the turkey. You get to spend the whole day listening to everyone tell you what Rachael Ray would do and wishing you had more wine in the house."

So prescient.

OK, OK, even if, like me, you actually do admit to liking these family gatherings, I think you'll still find more than a fair number of BINGO squares filling up. Nice job Meredith!

Seven Turkey Alternatives for Your Thanksgiving Feast

Shannon LC Cate — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Let's face it, not everyone loves turkey. I have never been its biggest fan. I find it bland and most often dry and just not up to its reputation as the holiday meal centerpiece. This year, I'm the Thanksgiving host in my family and I wanted to go for something different enough to please myself but not so different as to cause turkey day insurrection among the guests.

I decided not to wander beyond poultry and serve individual cornish hens, stuffed with brown rice flavored with cranberries and raisins, served on a bed of braised kale with roasted garlic plus baked white and sweet potatoes and old-fashioned southern cornbread on the side.

If you're looking for turkey alternatives too, here are six more to consider, several with vegetarian options:

2. Potpie: Why wait for dessert? MIx up Thanksgiving this year by serving pie as the main event. Then carve up some pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing if anyone has room for more!

3. The United States is a country of immigrants. Why not serve something non-indigenous like lasagna? This traditional family recipe includes meat, but there are lots of vegetarian options out there, too.

4. Another fun option is a taco bar. Lay out the shells and a wide variety of fillings and let your guests make their own.

5. Want to keep the focus this Thanksgiving on the warmth of family, friendship and togetherness? Nothing evokes intimacy like hot, homemade soup. Try this rustic red kale and white bean vegan one (pictured above), a hearty beef stew with roasted winter veggies, something decadent like this pumpkin and coconut cream offering or a sampler of more than one variety. Serve it up in homemade bread bowls and impress your guests!

6. Fish is always in season and offers versatility to a menu. Grilled salmon can hold its own with with hearty sides like yams and cornbread dressing.

7. Finally, if you're a die-hard vegan, here's a whole list of recipes for a "traditional" Thanksgiving meal without any animal products. I love me some buttered mashed potatoes, but this looks as tempting as it gets without them!

Are you going turkey-less this Thanksgiving? Share your alternatives!

And if you're still planning to dress the traditional bird on Thursday, bookmark this page anyway. You can use the recipes to make turkey potpie, turkey lasagna, turkey tacos or turkey soup with your leftovers next week!

Bon appetite!

Do You Still Have Halloween Candy In Your House?

JeanneSager — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:02:00 GMT

I was one of those cranky parents who refused to buy Halloween candy this year. I stocked up on the foodless treats instead - the plastic teeth and rubber bangle bracelets that I left for my husband to hand out to the sugared-up masses. So why do I still have a closet full of miniature candy bars and orange one-serving baggies of cookies? Thanksgiving is a week away people.

Still think I'm a crank for not stocking up before the goblins made their rounds? I thought I was conservative even with our tromping around on Halloween night. We treated just enough doorbells with incessant ringing before my three-year-old elephant and her companions the kitty cat, cop and UPS deliveryman tired of walking and started begging to be carried. I wasn't knocking down the neighborhood for a plastic pumpkin's worth of candy.

And I didn't hold out on her either. I let her skip dinner for just one night in favor of a gut stuffed chock full of chocolate. I've let her have a piece after dinner or slipped in the lunchbox for weeks.

But still it sits, the orange globe with its blacked out eyes and teeth staring me down every time I open the cabinet door. My willpower is wavering. What's one mini KitKat or three, a mini Three Musketeers or two, just one bag of Teddy Grahams? No, I can't. I won't. I have to leave room for the pumpkin pie.

Image: Mars

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Cheetah Girls Banned From Macys Thanksgiving Parade

Brett Singer — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Fans of Disney Channel girl group The Cheetah Girls will be disappointed to learn that the trio will not be appearing at the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade this year.

The reason? Semi-nude photos of Adrienne Bailon, who plays Chanel Simmons in the band/movies about the band/TV show about the band/something or other (I don't fully understand all of the identities involved here so forgive me) that have appeared all over the Interwebs.

Particularly weird is the possibility that Adrienne had a publicist leak the pics and then claimed that her laptop had been stolen. Jonathan Jaxson, a publicist and/or blogger, claims that he was hired by Bailon to release the steamy snaps (sorry, dropped into gossip-language there for a moment) so that Bailon could "distance herself" from Disney and start developing a more "adult" image. This story doesn't appear to have been confirmed by Adrienne or her people, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.

Many news outlets are comparing this to what happened with Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus Lipschitz and Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical), two more Mouse House mamacitas (ouch! Gossip talk! Stop that!) that had nude (Hudgens) or semi-nude (Cyrus) photos appear in the wild. But there are a couple of differences. First, Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus Lipschitz was under 18, and some of the "controversial" photos appeared in Vanity Fair, and the ones that didn't certainly looked like they were candid cell phone snaps. Hudgens was just 18 when her nekkid self showed up on the web. Also, HSM's Hudgens (ah, I give up, gossip speak will happen on occasion) immediately apologized for the racy pics. So if it was a nefarious plot to let the entire world see what she looks like in her birthday suit, it was a well-hatched one.

Why does their ages matter? Because teenagers do dopey things sometimes. So do people in their mid-20's, but if Bailon, who is 25, actually did have someone release these pictures on purpose, she's a huge dummy.

I know this is becoming a trend, but I have mixed feelings about this story. On the one hand, who cares? On the other hand, I would have preferred not to have to explain to a 7 year old what a DUI was when Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain got pulled over a couple of months ago.

Today on the Howard Stern Show on Sirius XM Radio, Robin Quivers theorized that some of the young actresses on the Disney Channel are so desperate to be uber-famous that they'll do anything to get there. If it turns out the photo thing was a leak and not an accident, I'd say she's right.

Should Macys keep the Cheetahs out of the parade? After all, one of their members may be have contributed to the downfall of civilization by putting out pictures of herself in a bra. (Or maybe not. Like I said, I'm conflicted.) More importantly, are they as popular as the amount of news stories about them would indicate? My kids don't want a lot of Disney Channel, but Hannah Montana I know about. The Cheetah Girls, not so much. Any fans, or parents of fans, out there in Internet land want to set me straight? Or even just explain the whole dual-identity thing?

Source/Image: Fox News

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TSA To Offer "Family Lanes" at Some Airports

Kate Tuttle — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:00:00 GMT

In what they probably think is an attempt to help parents burdened by the double trauma of traveling with young children and flying during the holidays, the TSA is adding "family lanes" at some airports.

According to WHAM TV in Rochester, New York, the TSA hopes the action "will ease stress levels for parents traveling with children during the busiest travel period of the year." It goes on to explain that families "will be directed by screeners to the specially-marked lanes, where parents can feel free to move at their own pace."

Oh hell no. That may be fine for people who travel once a year or less, or folks whose only airport experience consists of flights to Grandmother's House or The Magic Kingdom, but for the rest of us -- people who have kids but who had a life before kids, a life that involved flying places -- such a special lane sounds like a threat, not a promise. Look, I know how to fly with my kids. I wear clogs for easy-off access before the conveyor belt. I always fold the stroller and shove it in first so it's out first; once out, I pop it open and immediately load it up with our carryons and various assorted kid crap. I march my toddler through that X-ray machine like he's in military school. On a good day, we're as fast as I ever was when I was a regular on the Boston to New York shuttle; even on a bad day, we aren't as slow as your typical Thanksgiving weekend traveler.

So as we get ready to fly home to see the family this holiday, do us no favors. I'd rather be in line with everyone else -- some slow, some fast -- than be pre-empted into the ninth circle of hell. Those families who haven't gotten the memo about shoe removal or liquids in your carryons can languish in the "special" lane, but please, let well-traveled families go through with everyone else. We have a plane to catch -- and if you look at dozens of gate-check tags looped around my son's stroller's handles, you can see we've done this before.

From 52 to 48 With Love: When Families are Split Down Political Lines

JeanneSager — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 16:52:00 GMT

Coming from a split political family myself, some of the images captured in blogger ZeFrank's From 52 to 48 With Love project tugged at the part of me that always wishes families would just GET ALONG! I've always wondered if election season wasn't shoved up against Thanksgiving so we'd all be forced to deal with one another and make nice after a long period of sniping.

The project was devised by ZeFrank as a means for Obama supporters to reach out to McCain supporters. He called for pictures with simple messages to be e-mailed his way that could break down the barriers. "Perhaps it is naive. the differences are real, i know. but we have to repair the damage done from this election cycle somehow...," he said.

The result is in stark contrast to the back-biting and hatred of campaign season. Pictures came in from both sides, like the couple making out, one whose cheek reads "I voted red," the other whose cheek says "I voted blue." and from outside the country ("I couldn't vote but I believe in showing the love" with a Brazilian sign).

But it was the family pictures that hit me: the man holding a sign that says "I voted for Obama. My dad voted for McCain. I love my Dad. Things are really bad. We can only do this together." or the woman holding a letter (ostensibly to her husband?) "Dear 48, Please don't break up with me. I know we can make this work. I'm ready to compromise because I love you and I love us. I'm not doing this just for the kids alone. I'm doing it because I want you to be happy. Love, 52."

There are plenty more at ZeFrank's site, and he's waiting for yours. Want to make someone in your family happy? Someone one either side? Make your own - then send it to them, along with this site.

Images/Source: ZeFrank (via Urlesque)

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Juggling Holidays and Birthdays

Amy Kuras — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 19:10:00 GMT

In my little circle of family and close friends, there are, no kidding, six birthdays and two anniversaries between Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve. So, although my own birthday falls in June, I've long been sensitive to the potential problems of holiday birthdays even before my daughter (due at Thanksgiving, born a week late) came along.

Of course, I found this article interesting. This mom actually cancelled Hanukkah (or, I am assuming, at last the gift giving portion thereof) when her son, whose birthday falls right in the middle of it, got a little gift-grabby.

Managing expectations of your children –and yourself – at this time of year is hard enough without the added excitement and present-giving opportunities of birthdays right around the same time. We struggle with keeping the gift bonanza in line with our budget and values already, and she's only three. Once she gets older and the marketing machine has really dug its tentacles in, I worry about how much more difficult it will be to instill gratitude instead of greed.

I truly enjoy this time of year, and certainly celebrating the birthdays of some of the people I love the most adds a special dimension to its excitement. But making sure everyone gets their due can be exhausting as well – I hear too frequently from my holiday-birthday peeps that their birthday gets lost in the shuffle of the holiday excitement, so it's important to me to try to keep their day just for them (none of this "this gift is for your birthday AND Christmas" crap unless it's, like, a pony).
Do you have a holiday birthday? Do your kids? And how do you manage making birthdays special while not going completely crazy?

Strollerderby Smackdown: Light or Dark Meat?

Kelly Mills — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 19:12:00 GMT

The Derby is one big dysfunctional family, and every day is a new round of passive-aggressive jibes, drunkenness, ostracision, backstabbing, and screaming fights. The newer bloggers have fit right into this family order, bringing their own neuroses and tantrums to the mix. It's so much that we all look forward to Thanksgiving visits with estranged relatives and pervy cousins and disapproving in-laws as relief from all the drama. So when I casually said, "Let's talk turkey: light meat, dark meat, or both?" naturally it quickly degenerated into hair-pulling.

My own perspective is simple--I only like light meat, but not because I'm, you know, prejudiced or anything. It's just that dark meat tastes like funk. Well, of course that spun Madeline into a tizzy, and she said crossly, "I don't see 'dark' and 'light', I see turkey, and I'm offended that you're even asking. Can't we get past this?" Just between me and you, she's a little strident. Amy leapt in, "Dark meat, baby. Once you've gone, um, vaguely tan you'll never go back." Riiight. Well, once Rachel hollered, "Funk is the junk," I knew I was outnumbered. Luckily Bill piped in. "I suffer from Nyctophobia, a fear of the dark. I only eat white meat with the lights on because I'm convinced there are monsters under the stuffing." Sigh. Dude is always saying, "My therapist says I'm such-and-such" and "I feel like you are violating my boundaries so please don't call me a big baby again." It's a little much.

And Karen? She doesn't even eat meat, because she's a communist. I know! I'm just thankful I'm spending the holiday in jail, because my cellmates are much more laid-back than those Derby prima donnas.

Update: Jesica says as log as he white meat tastes like Jude Law, she's fine with that.

Turkey-Shaped Jell-O Mold: It's What's Not for Dinner. Please.

Karen Murphy — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 18:32:00 GMT

File this under People With Waaaay Too Much Time on Their Hands: the annual Turkey-Shaped Jell-O Mold Competition at daniellespencer.com. Yes, every year now for uh, three whole years now, cooks/artists with a warped sense of humor and odd sense of what's edible vie with one another to see who can create the ~~grossest~~ most interesting gelatinous creation. The only rule? That it be molded in the shape of a turkey. And you won't believe what all can be molded into a turkey-shape. And still be considered vaguely edible.

First off, I didn't even know one could buy a Jell-O mold in the shape of a turkey, but obviously I'm a gentle sheltered flower like that. Plus I'm a vegetarian who doesn't eat gelatin (you don't want to know where that comes from, believe me, but it has hooves! er, IS hooves! there, have I ruined your dinner yet?). But I am a bit of a foodie, and I have to admit that I was strangely attracted to a couple of the offerings:

Uh. On second thought, they all repulse me.

Here are some especially disgusting renditions:

Kahlua Jell-O Turkey. Somehow Jell-O shouldn't be that color.

Chicken Noodle Soup Turkey. I'll go with "intestinal and revolting."

Mac 'n Cheese Turkey. With extra Velveeta.

The Original. Not to be missed.

There! Now you can enjoy your dinner! (You'll thank me later. You weren't really hungry anyway, were you?)

Turkey Day Arts and Crafts, No Strings Attached

Matt Wood — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 13:05:00 GMT

Do you have about 70 extra tampons sitting around this Thanksgiving morning? I know I do. And I'm tired of just making wiener dogs and bridal gowns with them, so for this special occasion, it's the Tampon Turkey Centerpiece!

This festive, super-absorbent bird created by TamponCrafts.com can grace your holiday table, ready to amaze your family and sop up heavy gravy flow with just 47 steps, a hot glue gun, and some spray paint. "Your guests will have to look twice to realize this Thanksgiving centerpiece came out of a box – a Tampax box, that is," say the folks at TC. And if you're really in the holiday spirit, they have instructions for making tampon angels, snowflakes, and menorahs so you can get a head start on Christmas or Hanukkah.

Maybe you're not the crafty type, but at least take a minute to be thankful that sentences like "Cover back of tail with brown tampons" and "Glue 3 yellow tampons across base of neck" exist somewhere on the internet where they make complete sense in context.

Allergic to Thanksgiving

Amy Kuras — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 22:41:00 GMT

If you have a kid with food allergies – or if you deal with them yourself – the Thanksgiving table can portend doom for reasons other than your weird family. My daughter has mild food allergies to odd things (strawberries fine, blueberries bad), so we haven't introduced a lot of the most common allergens like peanuts, tree nuts or shellfish. Which makes gatherings in large groups kind of scary, since my kid will eat anything that's not nailed down and doesn’t understand why she can't have stuff that's right in front of her. My family's pretty considerate about it, and some of the kids on my husband's side have life-threatening allergies so his family gatherings are allergy-safe, at least (except for the one sister in law who brought a butter pecan ice cream cake when three of the four kids present had severe nut allergies).
Allergymoms.com has a list of 12 tips to make Thanksgiving easier, and while some of it is laughably lame – send your guests a food allergy poem with cutesy rhymes about what to bring? Really? – lots of it can help you maintain peace of mind when you can’t watch your allergy-prone kid every second. For example, make sure all the appetizers and snacks set out before the meal are allergy-safe, so kids can graze at will while you're dealing with last-minute meal panic.
Because welcome as an escape from the relatives might be, hiding from them at the emergency room is no fun.

Strollerderby Swells With Gratitude

Kelly Mills — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 17:02:00 GMT

Because this is the holiday of thankfulness and all that good stuff, I thought I'd find out what the other folks here are grateful for. "Okay guys," I said, "I know we usually go snarky and rude and funny, but I want each and every one of you to open your hearts and tell me what you are really, truly thankful for. The tender way your child puts her hand on your cheek and says 'Mama'? The squeals of 'Daddy, Daddy' that greet you when you wake up in the morning? That your family is healthy, happy, and cared for?"

Let's see, Rachel said she's grateful that the men in her dreams are so well-hung.

Should've known the bitches would let me down. But a couple did actually eke out something sweet. Here's the Derby gratitude list...

Jessica says she's "thankful for a three-year old who entertains, disgusts, appalls me with surprisingly accurate assessments of what objects and which people his poop resembles (as in, "Look mommy! I pooped a violin!"). Nothing says holiday bliss like an instrument-shaped potty break." Um, very true indeed.

Karen is really grateful the school buses that have saved from being three-school carpool mom. And for the e-mails we send to each other here, which are often entertaining. And for my ass. Can't say that I blame her for that.

Mike, the sentimental one, says, "I'm thankful for the sweet, beautiful children who reside within us all ... and for the wonderful promise that is humankind." (He so copied that from his Playgirl profile.) "Also, pie and egg nog. I'm thankful for pie and egg nog. And by eggnog I mean bourbon. And sometimes heroin, depending on how the nap goes." Daddy's little helper, I suppose.

Bill takes a more pragmatic approach. "I'm thankful for my precious flask at 3 hour holiday parades at night in late November in the northeast. I'm thankful for my neighbor's unsecured wireless networks. Last night I was thankful that projectile baby vomit does not have the same biological properties as Alien blood (That's it man, game over man, game over! What the f*ck are we gonna do now?)" Isn't that beautiful?

And Matt closed it out with gratitude that his dog likes the taste of projectile baby vomit. Awwww.

Me? I'm grateful for my kid, whats-her-name, and that I'll be able to eat unlimited dessert on Thanksgiving (long story). I'm grateful I can still eat after thinking of Matt's dog eating baby vomit. And for asses. And for the bitches here, who make me laugh.

24-Hour Countdown to the Madness: Videoblogs Help You Fake a Great Turkey Din

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 16:23:00 GMT

I'm not sure if the new videoblogs at BlogHer were made to walk me through easy, delicious dinner prep or to distract me into such a state of procrastination that we all end up feasting on pie alone for Thanksgiving. It's all good either way. And when I say all good, I mean it all, mama.

First, check this quality yo. These videoblogs graciously hosted by Erin Kotecki Vest are sleek and have sound quality that beats PBS on some days. Second, the co-hosts are hot blogging (oh yeah, and cooking) mamas that you know and read (CityMama, bring those green beans and that killer swing sweater and come back to us!) that are serving up Rustic Apple Gallette, Green Beans with a Twist, Mom's Turkey Stuffing and an Easy Holiday Turkey. I haven't actually put silicon spoon to sautee pan yet, but good gravy, every one of these recipes looks smokin'. And when I say smokin', I mean not the way my mother massacres vegetables in the microwave.

If the only potluck recipe you've put together involves PlayDoh and Cheerios, or if you are putting off any organization of the big day until...tick...tick..now, then I really recommend you put down the screaming toddler you've volunteered to discipline before getting to the foodstuffs and check out each videoblogged course. Individually, these dishes seem like a prime opportunity to score points with family. All together, they'd make up a simple and scrumptious escape from the family. You click on, preheat and dig in. In the meantime, I'll gather the ingredients for a traditional Turkey Day gimlet.

Oh wait. Seriously? For Thanksgiving, it's giblets?

Strollerderby Playdate: Holiday Deliciousness

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:57:00 GMT

We've had amazing Thanksgivings with golden brown and crispy delicious turkey with melt-in-your-mouth apple pie and perfectly whipped potatoes. And then we've had stomach flu horrible Thanksgiving when apple sauce and EmergenC were about all we could be grateful for (or keep down). Somewhere in the middle of the mania and mothers-in-law, disasters and deliciousness, there is a moment when Thanksgiving sends a deep ahhhhh around the table. Since that feeling could be fleeting, you hold on to that while we serve up these dishes and tips, courtesy our favorite realistic bloggy mamas:

Pumpkin soup, mmmm. And even better if you still haven't yet thrown away the Halloween pumpkins sitting on your front porch. Thrifty and delicious.

You know those houseparenty types, always bragging about how big their turkeys are. Go ahead, get in on it. You know you want to.

Freezing all the leftovers you can't bear to look at for one. more. meal. Or that you pray your husband will eat while you are dining on gimlets at Bunco next month.

And if all else fails, these fiascos will guarantee that the bits of hair and lint on the turkey don't (necessarily) dictate that you should stop having dinner at your house. Or kids. Or that you should stop serving kids frozen turkey for dinner.

So You're Traveling By Plane for Thanksgiving. Good Luck, Suckahhhhhs.

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:33:00 GMT

This week, as the reality and panic that Thanksgiving is officially measurable in hours away, all the well-meaning and authoratatively-written "insider" articles and posts start popping up in an attempt to quell the fears and franticness of flying on the busiest travel day of the year. I'm a sucker for these tips -- as a parent who has hauled my kid, a carseat, a diaper bag, a breast pump, a purse and tickets clutched in a fisthold down the unbearably narrow aisles of many airplanes on many cross-country trips during the holiday season -- and I will search them for a bit of new information like millions of other travelers in search of ways to informatively beat the effed up airline system. Mostly, though, I just laugh. Why?

Because I am thoroughly convinced that no post, no article, no matter what travel agent reality show you watch or what that one bossy playgroup mommy tells you, flying with kids, especially during the holiday rush, will always suck. And by always, I mean that the gods will look on you benevolently for memorizing your mother-in-laws OCD recycling rules and for all the times your sister in law has barfed up the green bean casserole you labored over, and they will actually bestow upon you an uneventful flight. Hell, they might even give you a good one. BUT BEWARE! You will convince yourself it is because you researched the plane's seat map online or your goldfish-crusted kid is irresistably cute even to crabby gate agents. Let me be clear: It isn't.

It is to lure you into feeling confident, like you've got it down with the personal DVD player with enough Elmo and Wonder Pets to keep your kid entertained in a confined, recycled air flow space with peanuts he can't eat and soda you wouldn't dare let him drink and the permeating glares of people who chose the sweet, sane luxury of flying alone to procreating. It is to make you nod to yourself and think, "Yeahhhh, flying to see my folks on Christmas Eve wouldn't be so bad after all. We're experts at traveling with kids now." As soon as you have those stupid, stupid thoughts (and don't shame yourself, we've all had them), the frequent flier customer service representatives are alerted to meet you at the gate when the plane lands. (Well, after the plane circles the airport for two hours, then lands and sits at the gate for another 45 minutes while your bladder is about to explode and your kid's puke is drying up all over the adorable pilgrim outfit grandma sent for him to wear).

So how to survive? Mike recommends taking photos of the people seated around you as your wife totes in the screaming toddler and the realization of what a long-ass flight it is going to be sinks in. Kelly suggests claiming a tendency toward violent vomitting or incontinence to snag an aisle seat (bahhhh, you pre-check-in online seat reservations) and should that fail, instuct your kid to spray nearby passengers with enough Pirate's Booty spit that they beg you to take their bulkhead aisle seat. Then, I say, chalk it up. Sure, it's going to be hell. Not as much hell as eating dinner with forced-friendly family, but good preparation for sitting in the insanity , total irritation and comments about your terrible parenting skills nonetheless.

When Are You Too Old for the Kid's Table?

Karen Murphy — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 15:11:00 GMT

The kid's table. The rickety card table flanked by hard metal folding chairs filled with cousins you hardly knew, placed maddeningly out of earshot of the more sumptuously-appointed and infinitely more interesting Big Table, the table that held your parents and all the other adults, the table you longed to one day be old enough, grown up enough, to sit at. Plus it had wine.

This was my experience, anyway. As a kid I found adults way more interesting and had no idea what to do with other kids at all. Sitting at the Kid's Table was like being sent to Siberia. How I loathed it.

But other people don't see it that way: sitting at the kid's table was fun! And you're never too old!

In fact, in this [obviously less-than-scientific] poll, most adults would rather sit at the kid's table. Or at least, they haven't yet qualified to move up to the Big table yet: some 66% said that you're never too old. Another 25% said that a driver's license, shotgun wedding, or wielding a big carving knife qualified one for the Big Table. I suppose the knife would be convincing, yes. And 8% played it straight and said that when kids could cut their own food they should get that promotion.

So what about you? This Thanksgiving, will there be a kid's table? And who sits there?