Strollerderby : television

Jon & Kate Plus 8 Premiere Snags 9.8 Million Viewers

Brett Singer — Wed, 27 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

So you know this Kate Gosselin we've been hearing so much about? Mother, reality show star, husband may or may not be cheating on her? Lots of backlash against her?

After all the sturm und drang that the Gosselins have generated in recent weeks, you might think that would hurt their ratings. But you would be wrong.

The season premiere of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" was watched by 9.8 million people. That's not only the largest audience for a cable show on Monday. It was the largest audience for ANY show that evening.

People, negativity sells. Big time.

Yes, it was Memorial Day. But "Jon & Kate" isn't even on a network. It's on cable. Which means that not everyone -- most people, but not everyone -- can see the show. To me, this was an astonishing feat.

I have a confession to make. I don't watch "Jon & Kate Plus 8." I don't watch any reality shows regularly, which isn't a judgment on those of you that do. It's just not my thing. (If they could make a reality show with superheroes in it, that I might watch.) But all of the tabloid news has been oddly fascinating to me. I read the People Magazine article. Someone left a copy of US Weekly in my house and I read the "Jon & Kate" article. (Well, I started it. But I'll finish it.) And I have to admit that I might just check out a few minutes of the show.

Did you watch the "JK8" premiere? Did the recent scandals surrounding the couple make you more interested in the show?

Source: Hartford Courant

Morning News - California Supreme Court Upholds Prop 8

Kate Gosselin - Mom or Monster?

Gosselins are Good for a Gander (big roundup of stories on Famecrawler)

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PBS Launching Dinosaur Train for Science Kids

JeanneSager — Wed, 27 May 2009 16:01:00 GMT

For parents who have fallen in love with Sid the Science Kid (who hasn't?), good news! PBS is going prehistoric this fall with a new show aimed at expanding their offerings for our little scientists.

Dinosaur Train will let our kids hop onboard with Buddy, a young T-Rex adopted by a family of Pterandons

I haven't seen the show yet, but I'm A. loving that there's a show out there for all those dinosaur fans - and we all know there are many and B. digging the fact that there's an adopted kid on TV for adopted kids to relate to . . . even if it is a kid with two giant feet and two teeny hands!

Produced by The Jim Henson Company, the show will feature two eleven-minute segments daily with live-action interestitials featuring paleontologist Scott Sampson (you've seen him on Discovery Channel's Dinosaur Planet) dishing out dino nuggets (with no extra calories). The train alluded to in the name will take Buddy and his family and friends on adventures through time, chugga-chugga-ing to the Triassic, Jurassic and Cretaceous periods.

Can't wait? Set your Tivo for Sept. 7.

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Children's Television Workaround

editors — Thu, 14 May 2009 19:45:00 GMT

Today on Babble:

by Dan Oko.

Our kid's TV-free, as long as online video doesn't count.

Read it here.

SNL Mother's Day Skits

Brett Singer — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:00:00 GMT

If you thought the infamous "D*ck In A Box" would be hard to beat (no pun intended), check out this "Digital Short" from Saturday Night Live this week.

Here is... Mother Lover.

Susan Sarandon and Patricia Clarkson do a fine job as the moms who, as the song says, get a "mother's night" to go with their Mother's Day.

Less funny, but not entirely without laughs, is the Mom Translator.

I guess this is for mothers who are less hip than mine. But come on. Who doesn't know who Keanu Reaves is? They should have gone with more lame celebrities that are barely famous, like Lauren Conrad. (Although I think SNL needs to do a sketch called "Breakdance Mountain.")

Image: YouTube

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10 Ways Real Moms Are Better Than TV Moms

KeriF — Sat, 09 May 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Did you ever wish Claire Huxtable was your mother? Long for the liberal love of Elyse Keaton? Secretly think you were switched at birth with one of the Brady kids?

Our memories may be colored by our childhood fits and rose-colored lens of television, but as the folks at NPR remind us, those TV moms weren't as great as we thought they were. Here are some highlights:

#4: Your real mom wouldn't turn your upbringing over to the school dietitian.

How much were the parents of Blair, Tootie, and Natalie (Jo was on scholarship, right?) paying that boarding school, only to have their kids spend all their time with Mrs. Garrett? Weren't there more productive things they could've been doing?

#6: Your real mom would set boundaries for the handyman.

I know being a single mom is tough, but really, Ann Romano, spending that much time with Schneider is just not healthy. Unless, of course, you're secretly in love with him?

#7: Your real mom would never mostly forget you were there and then only show you off during sweeps.

Hear that, Ross and Rachel?

#9: Your real mom would never encourage Tony Danza to buy you a bra.

Tony Danza now probably dates women Alyssa Milano's age. Eew.

You can read the whole list here. Happy Mother's Day!

TV-Free

editors — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:30:00 GMT

Today on Babble:

"TV-Free"

by Kate Haas

One mother asks, "Why does not having a television make me so unpopular?"

Read it here.

They Say: Kids Who Watch Adult TV Have Sex Earlier

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 05 May 2009 15:30:00 GMT

Researchers at Boston Children’s Hospital have found a link between the amount of adult television children watch and the age at which teens become sexually active.

Researchers tracked 754 children between the ages 6 and 18 at two stages in their lives, first to see how much adult television they watched over the weekend as young kids, and later to see the age at which they first became sexually active. According to Science Daily, “The study found that for every hour the youngest group of children watched adult-targeted content over the two sample days, their chances of having sex during early adolescence increased by 33 percent.”

It seems to me that this correlation may have more to do with uninvolved parents than with TV. Any six-year-old who is allowed to watch several hours of adult television in a day is not likely to have parents who will talk to him or her about sex later in life.

This point of view is enforced by a comment made by a lead author of the study, who said, "Television and movies are among the leading sources of information about sex and relationships for adolescents.”

That, to me, is far more disturbing than any correlation established between teen sexual activity and television. If parents and educators were talking to kids about healthy sexual behavior, they wouldn’t be nearly as likely to be influenced by the drunken promiscuity portrayed on shows like The O.C. and Gossip Girl.

I’m certainly no fan of the majority of mainstream television—particularly not as entertainment for six-year-olds—but it would be much easier, and perhaps more effective, to raise awareness about the need for parents to openly discuss healthy sexual behavior with their kids than it would be to substantially shift the entire foundation of popular culture.

It’s high time that more studies on teen sexuality activity focused on parent-child relationships, rather than just on the media.

Photo: saidaonline.com

What Burlesque Can Teach Your Daughter

Supreme Court Says Keep Cursing Off Daytime TV

JeanneSager — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:00:00 GMT

If you can't keep your sailor mouth clean, have heart. You can continue plopping your kids in front of the TV during the day for some curse-free entertainment . . . for now anyway.

The U.S. Supreme Court voted five to four to uphold the Federal Communication Commission (FCC) hold over "foul language" on television between the hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. The issue came up in regards to "fleeting expletives," the one-off f-bomb dropped on a live show (rather than cussing worked into a scripted program).

So is this good for parents and kids? Maybe.

ABC, CBS and Fox, who have been trying to avoid fines for cussing on their networks, are headed back to yet another federal court to fight their fines on the basis of free speech. And Justice Clarence Thomas, who voted with the majority, has written an opinion regarding what he calls “questionable viability” of two FCC regulations that relate to this topic. Voting against the FCC, Justice John Paul Stevens went so far as to call it "ironic" that the FCC goes after words relating to "sex" and "excrement" (hmmm, wonder which words he's talking about there, don'tcha?) even as “commercials broadcast during prime-time hours frequently ask viewers whether they too are battling erectile dysfunction or are having trouble going to the bathroom.”

I try to reign in my potty mouth around my daughter (I try to reign it in period, but hey, life happens). But is a one-off dirty word on TV really that bad? They're just as likely to hear it in the grocery store or the school bus. I sat in our favorite deli eating grilled cheese sandwiches just last week while a group of four twenty-something guys one table over did everything but smear us in the s--t they couldn't stop bringing up.

And Justice Stevens, I'm with you. I don't want to explain erectile dysfunction to my three-year-old just yet. Somehow, explaining what flies out of a cow's butt doesn't seem quite as bad as that.

Image: WriteForBlogs

Wonder Pets! is Back With Eartha Kitt

JeanneSager — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Still bummed that Jack's Big Music Show strummed its last dulcimer with no hopes of Dr. String bringing it back?

Sorry, can't help you there. But I still have good news!

The Wonder Pets! will save another day! Nickelodeon has approved a third season for Linny, Tuck and Ming Ming, set to kick off next month.

Beginning May 18 with an appearance by the late, great Earth Kitt as a cool cat signing smooth jazz, the first week of new shows will include a tribute to every animal teamwork has worked to save in the past. It's a special commemoration of the milestone "hundredth rescue," set to air Friday, May 22 at 10:30 a.m.

There's a reason this show has won a Daytime Emmy, folks. The hamster, turtle and little duck are the kind of team we want to cuddle . . . and then fill up with pieces of celery. Polite. Sweet. And cute enough our kids might one day convince us to get the real thing.

Try walking through a playground signing "the phone, the phone is ringing" and find a parent who doesn't chime in. They save us from some seriously bad TV.

Australian Kiddie Show Star Appears In Laddie Mag

Brett Singer — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:30:00 GMT

Imagine, if you will, a favorite children's TV show host. In her underwear.

In the case of Kellie Crawford, you don't have to imagine it. Because it happened. Crawford used to be part of the Australian children's television show and music group "Hi-5"; she was replaced by Lauren Brant. (I didn't know any of this, by the way, I just looked it up online.) There's also an American version, in case you were wondering. As far as I know, there are no photos of those performers in their undies.

So what's the fuss? According to News.com.au, "Family groups say Crawford is sending a negative message to little girls." (Presumably little boys just think she's hot? That topic was unaddressed.)

In an interview, Ms. Crawford talks about how she "stripped to her smalls" in Ralph Magazine because she wanted people to see her as something other than a children's performer. As for young "Hi-5" fans seeing the photos, Crawford says that she wouldn't let her kids look at Ralph. (Magazine, that is. Nader, maybe. Well, he can be scary to young children. But I digress.)

This isn't a new phenomenon. Teletubbies star Pui Fan Lee (she played Po) is apparently naked on the British series "Metrosexuality". I guess you can't see her face in the costume. And let's not forget the terrible scandal that ensued when (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) this video of Woody from Toy Story saw the light of day.

OK, that last one was a parody. The Teletubbies thing is real, as far as I know.

The thing is, who cares? Are kids really going to see this magazine? If they do, that's their parents' fault for letting them. Right?

Would you be upset if Nitya Vidyasagar from Sesame Street were to do a photo spread in Maxim once her time on PBS is done? Personally, I think it's her business what she wants to do with her business. (Note: I have no idea what Ms. Vidyasagar's career plans are, I'm only using her as an example since she's currently on the air.)

So what do you think? Does it matter if kiddie performers do more "adult" work?

Image: HottiesInTheNews via Buzzfeed

See all of the photos of Kellie Crawford at Ralph Magazine's web site. They're not really safe for work.

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Morning News - Spring Break Broken?

UPDATE: Jamie Foxx Apologizes To Miley Cyrus

Brett Singer — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 03:30:00 GMT

Jamie Foxx issued a mea culpa on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. EOnline.com reports that Foxx responded with a "Yeah" when Jay Leno asked him "Did you say something inappropriate?" Here's the rest of it from EOnline:

"I so apologize to [Cyrus], and this is sincere...I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far. I have a radio show...We're really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it maliciously. You know I'm a comedian."

Then, looking at the camera, "Miley, I apologize, so I'll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand."

So there you go. Good enough? I think so. Do you agree?

Original post follows below.

*-*-*-*-*

So, like, hey now.

A little background. Jamie Foxx has a channel on SiriusXM Satellite Radio where he does a show called The Foxxhole. He said some... things about Miley Cyrus (aka Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Stewart Lipschutz). Someone called in and mentioned Miley's little dustup with Radiohead (she wanted to meet them, they said no, she got pissy and yakked about it on some radio show). The Oscar-winning Mr. Foxx then went off a bit. Here's the audio, which is not safe for work. At all. Seriously. You have been warned.

So yeah. He said it. There are a few other people in the mix, and I'm not sure who said what. I'm fairly certain it was Jamie Foxx who said that Miley should make a "sex tape", and then a female voice added "with your dad." "White bitch" was in there. Also something about doing heroin "like Britney" (I must have missed that headline about Brit nodding out), as well as a suggestion that Miley catch VD from a bicycle seat. (I didn't think that was possible, but hey, what do I know?)

A few things to say here. First, Foxx said this on his radio show this past Sunday. It appears to only be coming out now. That doesn't diminish it, but it does mean that not a lot of people heard the comments. Second, he was trying to be funny. That doesn't excuse the comments at all, of course. But in theory performers get more latitude when it comes to humor.

As for what was said: it was completely inappropriate and in incredibly poor taste. I'm not a fan of Miley's; I think her music is horrible, and the message of her entire persona seems to be that fame is a goal worth trying for, which is something I don't agree with. (That's the short version of a longer thought that I'll share one of these days.) In my opinion you can make fun of anything and talk about whatever you want. But when its an underage person, boy or girl, and you start saying "white bitch" and suggest that she make a sex tape with her dad, that seems unnecessary. He has the right to say it. But why would he? (A commenter at LATimes.com says that the Foxx clip is somewhat out of context, but, like the Rodney King video, I'm not sure that context matters in this case. Maybe it does, but I doubt it.)

There's also plenty to make fun of when it comes to Miley. The Radiohead thing. The fact that she sleeps in her parents bed sometimes, despite being sixteen years old. Her music. Her TV show. Lots of material to work with before you go to "white bitch" who should do heroin and make a sex tape.

What do you think? Should underage famous people be off-limits, at least in some ways? Or did Miley deserve it?

Source: EOnline

Image: Amazon

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Tina Fey Sesame Street Episode On DVD

Brett Singer — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:30:00 GMT

It's a good thing Tina Fey seems so nice. Because otherwise people would have to hate her.

Consider: amazing career. Attractive. Insanely talented. Genuinely funny. And able to do an episode of Sesame Street with panache.

Of the few famous or semi-famous folks that I know, those who have appeared on Sesame Street list that as one of their top credentials. Even Gilbert Gottfried sounded excited about his episode, writing on his blog, "for the first time in my career, I can tell you how to get to Sesame Street!" The rest of the paragraph reads as follows: "You drive downtown during rush hour, go over the bridge, circle a few blocks without signs, park in an over priced garage and walk 11 blocks to the studio. Funny how they don’t mention that in the song." Hey, I wouldn't expect the guy to become warm and cuddly because of one encounter with Big Bird. (For many other great Sesame Street moments, including Robert DeNiro's brilliant impersonation of a cabbage, check out The Babble List: The 50 Best Sesame Street Moments.)

Tina played the leader of the Bookaneers, the pirates who love reading. Notwithstanding the fact that pirates aren't as much fun these days as they used to be, the episode was amusing and Tina (I imagine that she'd let me call her Tina, were we to meet someday) seemed to be very much into her role. It's no Sarah Palin impression, but it's still good. (Actually, Tina Fey doing her Sarah Palin impression on Sesame Street -- that I'd like to see.)

Sesame Street: Elmo and the Bookaneers will be released on DVD on April 21, 2009. List price is $14.93 but Amazon has it for $9.99. Such a deal! I haven't seen the DVD, just the segment with Tina Fey when it aired on regular TV. That's full disclosure, folks.

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Beyonce Shines on Wubb Idol

JeanneSager — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 14:01:00 GMT

Forget Sasha Fierce. Beyonce's got a new alter ego - and she's blonde-haired and blue cheeked.

The songstress is lending her voice to a new character on Noggin's Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! and can we just say she shines in the role?

We've gotten a look at a sample cut from the show, set to air May 1 at 1 p.m. on Nick Jr. followed by a prime-time appearance Sunday, May 3, at 7 p.m. on Noggin. Heading up a three-part girl group (sound familiar?) Beyonce stars as "Shine," the lead singer for the Wubb Girlz as Wuzzleburg gets its sing on.

She'll debut the new "Sing a Song" on the show as part of Wubb Idol, the Wubbzy-ied version of American Idol.

Want a sneak peek? Call the kids over and click here (this will launch your Windows Media Player, don't be alarmed - that's what it supposed to do).

Playdate: How to Exploit Your Own Kids

JeanneSager — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 16:25:00 GMT

OK, we're not actually suggesting you exploit your kids. But this guy is!

Meet Mel Kane and his bad eighties era how-to on getting your kids into commercials. Fat kids (yes, he really said that), thin kids, short kids, tall kids! He sounds like a bad Dr. Seuss impression, only he's dead serious.

And what fun it is! He picks apart a kid who looks like she's acting ultra hard to be not interested in what's going on (and probably getting paid very well), and lets you parents of twins out there know you've got a hot commodity or two on your hands.

AdFreak dug this one up, and it's worth taking a look for the laugh at the giant glasses and poufy hair alone. And, you know, if you want to make money off your fat kid.

Have fun in Hollywood.

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Abortion Ads On Television?

Brett Singer — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:00:00 GMT

British TV viewers may soon see "adverts" for abortions alongside the more typical commercials for tea and crisps.

According to ABC News, "the Broadcast Committee of Advertising Practices [in the U.K.] is considering rewriting the TV rules regarding advertising as a way of tackling the problem" of an increased rate of teen pregnancy. Rules on condom ads would be relaxed as well; currently prophylactic TV pitches are only allowed to air after 9pm.

Groups like the British Pregnancy Advisory Service would applaud the changes, with chief executive Ann Furedi saying, "Why would we not want women to be able to know quickly and simply where they can get pregnancy testing and referral for abortion treatment or antenatal care, depending on what they decide is best for them?"

Speaking for the other side is Dr. Peter Saunders of the Christian Medical Fellowship. "This is like having the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff to deal with the casualties rather than putting up a safety rail at the top of the cliff to stop them falling off."

Well, not exactly. It's more like telling people the ambulance exists. While it's true that if there were no abortion clinics, there would be fewer abortions, is it really so wrong to actually let women know what their options are? Of course, cigarettes exist, and we don't allow television ads for those. (That's true in the United States at least; I don't know what the rules are across the pond.)

Should the rules be relaxed, and should ads for abortion clinics be allowed on television?

Source: ABC News, BBC (Video report)

Image: SXC

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'In the Motherhood' Gets Partial Cut

Jen Chaney — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 18:30:00 GMT

After all the hoopla about the "In the Motherhood" premiere, it appears that ABC isn't 100 percent confident in the show's long-term success.

According to the L.A. Times, the day after the one-time Web series's premiere on primetime television, ABC execs cut its episode order in half, from 13 down to seven.

"Motherhood" earned a 4.6 Nielsen rating and a 7 share, meaning 4.6 percent of U.S. households were tuned in, and 7 percent of all turned-on televisions were locked into ABC when the comedy aired Thursday at 8 p.m. That put it in third place for its timeslot, behind "American Idol" (shocker) and the NCAA Tournament on CBS.

Clearly going up against "Idol" and basketball put "In the Motherhood" in an unfair position. The "Idol" results show usually airs on Wednesdays (it aired Thursday this week because Obama's primetime press conference on Tuesday messed with the show's schedule), and the tourney is a temporary event. Which raises the question: Did ABC execs respond too hastily here? Does the show deserve to have more of an opportunity to grow over 13 episodes?

Or is the show just plain bad? I only caught a brief slice of it due to (irony alert!) parental responsibilities and the fact that I forgot to set the DVR. But I wasn't hugely impressed. Then again, as several commenters on Jeanne's live-blog of the premiere pointed out, pilots don't always give the most reliable sense of how solid a show will be in the long run. (Classic example: "Seinfeld.")

Those commenters seemed willing to give the show a chance. While I'm not sure if the series will get less contrived, I do think studio execs tend to cut shows far too quickly based on ratings results. Any good show does need a little time to develop.

If you want more "Motherhood," or if you think they have made the right call here, let the folks at ABC know by posting a comment.

Courting Controversy: Is Jon and Kate Plus 8 Done?

JeanneSager — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 20:49:00 GMT

More proof that even bad press is good press?

News that Jon Gosselin might be cheating on the mother of his eight kids, along with an expose that calls Jon and Kate out for a multitude of pandering sins that relate directly to their parenting, helped boost Jon and Kate Plus 8's TV ratings to the highest ever in their season finale on Monday night.

The episode got the most ever viewers of any one episode in its four seasons, and knocked out NBC, the CW, CBS, and Fox among women aged eighteen to thirty-four. In fact, of any ad-supported cable show in its time slot, Jon and Kate's finale had the most viewers in almost every demographic.

So why? Is it the controversy? Oh yeah.

There's rumor swirling that the Gosselins might be calling it quits on their show. Because of all the other rumors out there, from Jon's alleged cheating to Kate's harping prompting a divorce, the Gosselins have made it clear that they're starting to tire of the public eye.

But then again, maybe not. There are several episodes already banked, including a Gosselins go green episode set to air in April.

In a Q&A on their Website, the Gosselins have said they don't pay attention to negative press. "First of all, we don’t have time to worry about what people are saying and second of all, we know that our show is benefiting so many people that we need to continue. Any flack we receive is just typical stuff that anyone on TV on a regular basis receives. Furthermore, although this is the absolute hardest job (aside from raising 8 kids, that is) that Jon and I have ever had, it is also the most amazing blessing that we can be home with our children while working and when asked, all 8 of our children agree…for now, we need to continue on…and so we will!"

They're certainly not hurting for money now - not with a $1.3 million home, book deals and dozens of speaking engagements (part of the controversy in the expose). It's very possible they could stay home now - without the cameras - and be just fine.

Do you think they will call it quits? Or do you see another year of Jon, Kate and their six kids?

Image: Discovery Store

Kate Gosselin Dreamt Of A Husband and Children - Did You?

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Four Creepiest Animals Turned Adorable Kids Characters

JeanneSager — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 16:05:00 GMT

Just the thought of the scene when the rats converge in the kitchen in Disney's Ratatouille gives me the willies. They're (shudder) rats. Uggggh.

Becoming a parent, I quickly learned, was setting myself up for dozens of movies/tv shows featuring the world's creepiest animals thrown onto a screen in the attempts to make kids think they're just as cute and cuddly as your average puppy.

Who are they trying to kid? Rats, spiders and cuddly tigers? Oh my.

Remy in Ratatouille: He can read! He can cook! Gotcha - but he's still a rat. And rats don't belong indoors, not to mention in a restaurant kitchen mixing up French delicacies. Since this comes from the folks at Disney, I can't help but ask, did they take a look in their archives? I hold the rat scene from Lady and the Tramp wholly responsible for my residual rodent revulsion.

Charlotte in Charlotte's Web: Another reader, with a talent for writing, Charlotte is the true hero of the movie and E. B. White's book that bear her name. She's still a spider! With big buggy eyes and larger-than-life chompers. And did anyone catch the tail end of the Dakota Fanning version, with the egg sack full of thousands of little spiders just waiting to scuttle off and settle in the corners? See Also: Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends.

Alvin, Simon and Theadore in Alvin and the Chipmunks: I will always remember the day a contractor left a door open at my parents house and a chipmunk snuck in. Total. . . and complete . . . pandemonium. Followed by plenty of cleaning up of little pellets of poop in my bedroom. Ewww. Another member of the rodent family, chipmunks carry disease and are best-known for storing their food in their cheeks so long they come close to bursting, followed closely by their "chirpy" chipmunk calls. Ever said, "say it, don't spray it," when your kid spoke with a full mouth? Try telling that to a chipmunk . . . or to the three singing sweethearts who hanker for hula hoops? That Dave lets these little guys live in his house and eat of his cereal bowls is giving me flashbacks. . . to poop cleaning.

Oswald: With the disarming voice of a Savage brother, how could anyone dislike the bright blue resident of Big City who tips his bowler to everyone he meets? Maybe the fact that octupi have been known to kill sharks, detach one of their eight legs to escape predators and shoot bright clouds of ink at anyone who gets in their way? Fish may be friends, not food, but the octupus is not the friendliest member of the ocean community.

Images: Disney, Flixster, Amazon, Parent Previews

We Hate Kids' Shows Too; Really

JeanneSager — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 15:31:00 GMT

One of my favorite celeb quotes ever came from Jane Pauley - back in the nineties. I'm paraphrasing here, but the newswoman once said of Barney, "where's an asteroid when you need one?"

Don't tell me you didn't snicker at that one. Barney and Friends got what for in a scathing article in the London Times over the weekend, along with a score of other kiddie favorites.

Most of the shows featured were British, and I've never seen them, so I can't weigh in on just how evil they really are. And I'm sadly not as vitriolic about Bob the Builder as the mom who wrote "Can we fix it? No we can't. Not ever." Although I had to laugh when she points out he never seems to make an honest woman of that Wendy.

Not hating on Bob, Scoop and Dizzy doesn't make me a model mom. I save my complete and utter loathing for Max and Ruby (or, as my husband has renamed it, Max and Doody - which my unwitting daughter has picked up on). Is there a better example out there of a reason NOT to have two kids? A worse spokesbunny for big sisters everywhere? The show is based on the books of Rosemary Wells, who has a few I've actually purchased for my daughter and LIKE - so where did this controlling bitch come from? And when is her little brother going to grow some bunny balls and stuff a box of Bunny Scout cookies down her throat?

Somebody tell me I'm not alone. What shows do your kids love and you wish an asteroid upon?

Image: LondonTimes

Jimmy Kimmel And The Octomom

Brett Singer — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Now that I'm a parent I find that I don't have time to watch late night TV, but Jimmy Kimmel seems to have gotten pretty funny while I was busy with my brood. Luckily I can catch it all in dribs and drabs online. (Note: these are only sort of safe for work/the eyes and ears of your kids, so proceed with some caution.)

Like the rest of us, Kimmel has been taking pot shots at Nadya Suleman, aka the Octomom. Unlike the rest of us, he has a staff of writers and video people. (None of these are examples of tremendously complex comedy but it probably helped to have, you know, help.)

This video is really all about the wax lips that Jimmy puts on (and eventually eats) when he "plays" Nadya Suleman on his late night talk show. So it's a cheap gag, but still kind of funny.

It is a little gross when Jimmy/Nadya pulls out a Mason jar of embryos and sits on them. But again, it's kind of funny in a Beavis/Butthead sort of way. I'm also not sure whether he's talking about Nadya or Dr. Phil when he says he wouldn't "give money to that lunatic."

Jimmy also has video of the birth:

The babies are flyin'. Look out!

And Jimmy looked at the video of Nadya and her mom:

That little edit at the end didn't happen. It's kind of like the scene in 'True Lies', where Ah-nuld imagines punching out the car salesman who was lusting after his wife. Wish fulfillment. Something tells me Nadya's mom wouldn't mind having a DVD of that clip to watch when things get tough.

Image: DailyTube

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Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:00:00 GMT

I don't want to be mean here. I really don't. But I'm starting to feel sorry for Nadya Suleman and her children.

I really think she needs help. I don't mean financial help. Help from a doctor not named Phil.

In a new video blog posted exclusively at RadarOnline, she says "I want to be private." She means that she doesn't want people to know where she lives, because clearly she doesn't want to be, you know, actually private. "Being in the field I'm in, I know there's a lot of emotionally disturbed people in the world…I have trust issues."

She's not worried about anything, she's not overwhelmed. She's hiring help. The other moms are supportive, everything is FINE.

What?

You see her interacting with her children, who don't seem all that happy. The tape feels like an audition reel for a reality show.

Other highlights, in case you can't bear to watch the video:

-   New house, a rental. "I'm doing it myself," meaning no help from anyone. Unclear how it's possible to rent a 2800 square foot house with no job.
-    MSNBC says that the video "shows Suleman struggling to speak as one of her older six kids bites her, pulls her hair and slaps her in the face," but I didn't see anything terribly unusual. I mean, the kids don't look thrilled by the camera and are eventually ushered out of the room (presumably to a very weary grandmother, but you don't see that). Still, the kids' behavior looks like a kid trying to get mommy's attention.
-   This part I will just quote: "Suleman said her older children are already jealous of the octuplets. When a friend showed the kids a picture of their new siblings, 'they hit the picture,' Suleman said." Oy vey.

Also bizarre are her hand-written blog entries. In this one she talks about meeting Dr. Phil. (Because that's really what a mother of 14 should be thinking about.) By not typing her entries for her, Radar clearly wants us to see Nadya's nutty side. (Read the PDF file here.)

It's all fairly disturbing, actually. Hard to look, hard to look away.

Source: MSNBC, RadarOnline

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Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 02:20:00 GMT

Cross the great TV debate off your parental worry list.

According to a new study from the Center on Media and Child Health at Children's Hospital Boston, television "doesn't seem to have an influence on cognition at age 3." This is despite the fact that 30 percent of parents surveyed believe that watching TV actually helps babies get smarter.

Yes, you read that correctly. Almost one third of the parents in this study believe that planting kids in front of the device formerly known as "the idiot box" can actually make their kids smarter. Provided the right programs are on, of course.

I'm not against kids watching television. I watch television, I grew up watching television, and I'm (mostly) fine. (The parts that aren't fine are not due to excessive TV watching.) But I have no illusions that watching TV is going to make my kids smarter. Dumber, maybe. But not smarter.

Marie Evans Schmidt, a research associate at the Center, said that parents probably think the so-called "educational" programs are beneficial because of "the way those products have been marketed." Baby Einstein, we're looking at you. We liked your videos anyway, but we never really believed that they were adding points to our baby's IQ.

To me, the best news is that the study found that there is no harm in kids watching TV. Still, Schmidt warned that "parents should be aware that infants watching TV may be at risk of obesity, sleep disturbances and possibly attention problems. We don't want this study to be viewed as a license for babies to watch TV because they won't be harmed. It might be that the effects don't show up until children are older." What a wet blanket those science-types are.

Do the results of this study surprise you? That is, did you think that you were doing your kids a favor by making them watch TV? Or are you more surprised to find that people actually thought that having babies watch lots of TV was a good thing?

Source: ABC

Image: Amazon

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Brett Singer — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:05:00 GMT

According to RadarOnline, Nadya OctoMom Suleman has rejected an offer from the group Angels In Waiting to "provide her with a temporary new home for six months."

Angels offer was pretty sweet. According to Radar: "around the clock individualized care by pediatric nurses and other early intervention professionals for her octuplets and their six other siblings." This is in addition to giving them A PLACE TO LIVE. Remember that the house she currently lives in -- her parents' -- is facing foreclosure.

Gloria Allred is all red with frustration -- actually, I don't know if that's true but I wanted to write that. Sorry. We'll learn how she feels later today when the attorney to the weird gives a press conference.

I can understand not accepting help from people for various reasons. In this case, I think Suleman should take what she can get, especially since she's already asking for help from anyone who is willing. So why turn this one down? Is it that she doesn't like Allred? She also seems to be rejecting offers of help from Denis Beaudoin, who said he'd give Nadya some money even if he wasn't the father. Can she really afford to be so, you know, choosy?

Commenter FoxyMoxie (thanks for the tip!) says that Allred will discuss the "'disturbing' phone conversations" she has had with the OctoMom. I mean, will this thing ever end?

Source: RadarOnline

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Brett Singer — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:00:00 GMT

When lawyers represent mostly accident victims, we call them ambulance chasers. What about a shrink who only wants to talk to screwed up people who get lots of media coverage? We need a name for them. Oh wait -- there is one. Dr. Phil.

Yes, the man that Oprah unleashed on the world is at it again. This time he's chatting with Nadya Suleman. You know. The OctoMom! Where ya been, people? This is the only important news story in the world right now. Pay attention.

Here's a little video to whet your appetite:

Doesn't she sound like a delusional 'American Idol' contestant? It's not that you're single. It's that you're single, intentionally had TONS of babies, and have no way to support them. It's irresponsible. How much time could you possibly be spending with any of your kids, the six you already had or the octuplets, if you're always out doing interviews?

This quote was the one that got me:

When Dr. Phil asked her if she was addicted to being pregnant, Nadya responding [sic] saying, no, she absolutely loathes being pregnant and she looked into adoption after her third pregnancy.

She LOATHES being pregnant. So…why do it again? And again? (Reminds me of another Dr. Phil 'patient', Britney Spears -- 'Oops, I did it again / I had 8 more kids…')

And by the way. Of course you loathed being pregnant. You were pregnant with eight babies! That's like carrying around a Humvee in your stomach!

Having never been pregnant, I can safely say that I have no idea how it feels. But many of the women I've spoken to say that they do love it, at least at times. The baby kicking, the life growing inside of you -- that sort of thing.

Since I have no idea, I'll ask the moms out there -- did you "loathe" being pregnant like Nadya?

Source: EverythingOprah

Image: Me

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OctoMom Says Denis Beaudoin is Not OctoDad

Brett Singer — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 19:00:00 GMT

So you know that interview with Denis Beaudoin where he claimed to be the OctoDad? Nadya Suleman says that his pants, they are on fire. By that I mean he's lying, according to OctoMom. Suleman's new spokesperson Victor Munoz says that "Denis is definitely not the father."

What nobody is denying is that Denis donated sperm to Suleman on three different occasions. According to OctoPublicist Munoz, Denis twice "gave Suleman a sperm sample at home, which she held between her breasts to keep warm." Then a THIRD time, Denis "was brought to a fertility clinic after Suleman told him she had cancer and they were going to see a doctor." The sperm was placed directly into her womb, there were no embryos created, aaaaand… that's it. I'm done.

OK, one more detail. David Solomon is listed as the father of the oldest of Nadya's first 6 children, and Munoz says that there is one father for all 14 kids. But he won't confirm or deny that said father is Solomon.

Oh, and the hospital might not release the octuplets to Nadya. Seems they're concerned that she won't be able to care for them properly. So she called Dr. Phil. No. Really.

AHHHH!!!!

I'd call this a train wreck, but that's insulting because I kind of like trains. But I have to admit that I'm fascinated because there seem to be more details every other minute. It truly is… the never ending story.

Too much drama. Having kids is dramatic enough. Why include all of this other crap?

Source: ABC News

Image: Me, using Photoshop, using this from Amazon