Strollerderby : teletubbies

Australian Kiddie Show Star Appears In Laddie Mag

Brett Singer — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:30:00 GMT

Imagine, if you will, a favorite children's TV show host. In her underwear.

In the case of Kellie Crawford, you don't have to imagine it. Because it happened. Crawford used to be part of the Australian children's television show and music group "Hi-5"; she was replaced by Lauren Brant. (I didn't know any of this, by the way, I just looked it up online.) There's also an American version, in case you were wondering. As far as I know, there are no photos of those performers in their undies.

So what's the fuss? According to News.com.au, "Family groups say Crawford is sending a negative message to little girls." (Presumably little boys just think she's hot? That topic was unaddressed.)

In an interview, Ms. Crawford talks about how she "stripped to her smalls" in Ralph Magazine because she wanted people to see her as something other than a children's performer. As for young "Hi-5" fans seeing the photos, Crawford says that she wouldn't let her kids look at Ralph. (Magazine, that is. Nader, maybe. Well, he can be scary to young children. But I digress.)

This isn't a new phenomenon. Teletubbies star Pui Fan Lee (she played Po) is apparently naked on the British series "Metrosexuality". I guess you can't see her face in the costume. And let's not forget the terrible scandal that ensued when (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) this video of Woody from Toy Story saw the light of day.

OK, that last one was a parody. The Teletubbies thing is real, as far as I know.

The thing is, who cares? Are kids really going to see this magazine? If they do, that's their parents' fault for letting them. Right?

Would you be upset if Nitya Vidyasagar from Sesame Street were to do a photo spread in Maxim once her time on PBS is done? Personally, I think it's her business what she wants to do with her business. (Note: I have no idea what Ms. Vidyasagar's career plans are, I'm only using her as an example since she's currently on the air.)

So what do you think? Does it matter if kiddie performers do more "adult" work?

Image: HottiesInTheNews via Buzzfeed

See all of the photos of Kellie Crawford at Ralph Magazine's web site. They're not really safe for work.

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Mix Rap With Kid Shows and Whaddya Get?

JeanneSager — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Stephanie in all her pink haired cheeriness just can't take the nasty out of Lil' Jon. So while the assorted awesomeness of hip hop mashed up against our kids' favorites shared by Cole earlier today is disturbingly hilarious, you'd do well to kick the kids out of the room before watching it. Oh, and that goes for this post too.

Some parents get all ferklempt when folks start messing with their kids' characters. But if your five-year-old is perusing YouTube, you'd be better off spending your time worrying about something else. . . namely, them. The rest of you? Check out Cole's post on Unreality Magazine's list of Twelve of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups.They use the word "rap" loosely. Right Said Fred? Really guys? That's actually the lamest on the list anyway - because who wants to watch Hannah/Miley/Smiley/Achy Breakying Daddy's Heart and hear the words "I'm too sexy?" Ew. Just ew.

The Lil' Jon and Lazy Town mash up, however, is pure art. The others are clever, although they're your basic "take video clip, lay new song over" design (with impeccable timing - check Mr. Krabs eye-popping action in the Spongebob/Eminem's "Just Lose It" video). Mixing Stephanie's "Gotta Do the Cooking by the Book" with Lil' Jon dropping the mother of all f bombs? G-f'ing-en-i-ous. Warning: listening to Lil' Jon might destroy your vocabulary. It will also get you thinking about all the funny things you found while wandering around YouTube when you're stuck with only a computer to amuse your pre-schooler (long story, so let's just say hooray for hulu).

In other words? They were missing some of my favorites. So here's another taste of rappers doing it kid's school:

Dora, Dora, Dora the Whore-a!

How does Pablo push it?

Fraggle caught in your throat?

They call him Charlie 3000.

Alllllvin! Everyone's Favorite Chipmunk is Fifty

Moose With Loose Poops: Most Disgusting Book Title Ever?

Can a Mom Pumping Breastmilk Really be Sexy?

Kid Arrested for Farting

Gangsta’ Muppets: 12 of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups

Cole Gamble — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

This totally made my day. If you need a fix of Bert and Ernie throwing down some straight up gangsta' rap, here you get it. Oh, to live in an alternate universe when Elmo smokes blunts and is packing a whistle (that's a gun in hard-boiled speak). These are a must watch.

Oh, and this ain’t safe for kids.

Get the rest here. Thanks to Unreality Mag for compiling these.

More by this author:

A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 1: The Cons)

Banana Dildos and the 10 Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 1)

The Worst Baby Products Ever (Part I)

10 Things You May Not Know About Pregnancy (and might shock you)

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

They Say: Autism is Linked to Watching TV

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:15:00 GMT

If you ever suspected it was no coincidence that the rise in childhood autism began around the same time as the advent of cable TV, a Cornell study shows you were on to something.

Researchers at Cornell University claim to have established a definite link between autism rates and TV watching among toddlers in California, Pennsylvania, Washington, and Oregon. Beginning in 1980, when cable TV brought Nickelodeon and other children’s programs into people’s homes, autism rates rose most sharply in counties with a high percentage of homes with cable. Specifically, the Cornell study found that “roughly 17 percent of the growth in autism in California and Pennsylvania during the 1970s and 1980s was due to the growth in cable television.”

And studying the amount of time children watched television based upon particularly rainy and snowy years in the Western states (bad weather is known to increase child TV watching), the researchers concluded that “just under 40 percent of autism diagnoses in the three states studied is the result of television watching.” Although it’s possible that these numbers reflect a relationship between autism and staying indoors (not watching TV), these numbers are much more conclusive than any of the numerous studies looking to establish a link between autism and vaccines.

The Cornell researchers are advancing no theories as to why increased television watching among toddlers causes an increased likelihood of an autism diagnosis, but it’s possible the link is related to the fact that the ability to process visual data develops in the first three years of life; children with autism exhibit abnormal activity in these areas of the brain.

It may be time that researchers turned their attention away from chemicals and genetic links in the search for a cure for autism. If something as simple as avoiding TeleTubbies and Baby Einstein could help lower autism rates, this is something every parent needs to know.

Photo: Cleveland Leader

Schools Tying Up Autistic Kids

Interview: Larry Martinek of Mathnasium

Totally Perfect for Storytime

Kelly Mills — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 17:20:00 GMT

No matter what life lesson you hope to impart to your child, there's probably a book out there that'll help teach it. The importance of telling the truth, the joys of using the big-kid potty, how to deal with teasing... But maybe there's been a void. That's why I was very pleased when this made the rounds about a month ago. Because of course if I want my child to learn how to pimp, the Berenstain Bears are the perfect teachers.

More altered covers of classic kid books after the jump.

See more classic tales at eBaums World.

Children's Rights Groups in Poland Object to 'Teletubbies'

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Wed, 30 May 2007 13:58:00 GMT

Teletubbies long ago drew the ire from conservative religious groups (especially the late Jerry Falwell) who felt the show promoted homosexuality. Children's rights groups in Poland are now making the same claim.

How one can "promote" homosexuality, especially with poorly dressed chubs with strange headgear, is beyond me. On the other hand, I do remember The Village People.

Apparently, Tinky Winky, the purse carrying "boy" is the troubling character. Everyone knows boys who carry purses are gay. On the other hand, I know plenty of straight men who favor the man bag.

Mizrahi to Design Limited-Edition Teletubbies Handbags

Patti — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 11:34:00 GMT

If you heard a loud and kind of squishy sound just now, that was my head exploding. My love for fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi collided with my loathing of the chubby plushies known as the Teletubbies when I learned that Mizrahi will be designing five Tubbie-themed purses in celebration of their tenth anniversary (has it been that long? It seems longer).

Mizrahi is only one of the big guns that Ragdoll Entertainment is packing in anticipation of a huge relaunch of the Teletubbies brand: they've also got apparel lines in the works to be aimed at tweens, teens, and young adults (dear God in heaven, please tell me this doesn't mean that people are going to start throwing raves again).

The Mizrahi bags will be auctioned off to benefit Cure Autism Now and Autism Speaks. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go curl up with my Isaac For Target cashmere sweater and my clearance-rack-at-Saks Isaac driving shoes and watch Unzipped until my head feels better.

The Future of Children's Television Depends on What British Programmers Are Smoking

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 18:01:00 GMT

Okay British children's television programmers, it's time to come clean. Just what kind of drugs are you people on? Don't try to tell me that y'all were sober when you created Teletubbies. I ain't buying it.

My suspicions were all but confirmed when Boobah hit the airwaves. How many kilos of Columbian bam bam resulted in the greenlighting of a bunch of candy-colored, space-dwelling, uncircumsized penises teaching our kids to "exercise."

But now, I offer further proof that the Beeb is selling "Tina" along with Walker's Crisps and Bendicks Bittermints at the commissary: The Hoobs. I mean, come on. Just. Just stop. Honestly.

On a related note, a panel on the future of children's television programming was recently held in New York. Blogger Fuse #8 checked it out and posted an excellent analysis of the goings-on. In a nutshell: blame that asshole Barney for everything.